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As many others, I too have suffered great loss during the last few years. First my mom, then my 29 year old nephew, my dad and finally, my 11 year old granddaughter. One each for 4 years in a row. My granddaughter passed 4 years ago and I have just made my way to the top edge of that rabbit hole. Every emotion you described is so true and when you don't have time to get through one before you're faced with another, it's just overwhelming.

I wasn't able to say my granddaughter's name for two years. I couldn't touch her pictures. Her death was so sudden and so unexpected that the whole family has been reeling for a long time. Her little brother is now 11 and that has added an additional worry to my daughter and son-in-law trying to help him cope. He still picks out Christmas ornaments for his sister to put on the tree.

No, it's not crazy to talk to them. I still do. I have finally gotten to the point that I can remember all of them with peace if not always joy. I have decided you do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to help you get to a place of acceptance and peace. Tears are not a sign of weakness. So let them flow when you need to. Find a punching bag to take out your anger and you will be angry.

Music is my lifeline. I was finally able to bring my childhood piano back to my home and just having it here has been such a joy. Whether I sit down to play it or not, it's such a stabilizing memory for me. And when I do play, I can express my emotions through my music.

Shelley, I appreciate your courage in bringing to light such a difficult issue at this time of year. Perhaps just knowing that others have been through it and survived will give us the strength of a burden shared. Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season!
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Thanks. This has helped. Going to re-read several times more.
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Nani Sa
Is this berry?
0 Likes   December 7, 2013 at 7:57AM
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Just what I need to add a pop of color to the house!
0 Likes   June 11, 2014 at 7:31AM
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Olatunde Salami
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Karen Robinson
I'm with you, Tamara, on the table extension. :) I also covet their flat files in the basement, and the house models. I've always loved architectural models; something about the way the contours of the site are done in stacked flat sheets just seems so elegant. The courtyard and roof gardens are lovely spaces, so relaxing.
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