Quote :"So they could try and combine my husband's style with mine, ...."
I'm just thinking out loud....I'm thinking the designer is having great diffliculty in combining dif styles. This is just a guess on my part as i have no idea what is in their head

Yeesh! Heh. It's not like our styles are all _that_ different. I mean, isn't that what designers do?? Combine people's styles? That kind of seems like a no brainer to me. =D Maybe that's the problem here... no brain? =P

Thanks for your input, Curt!

:))) Thanks for making me laugh Jen. Yeah, you would think so...that's what i would ASSUME also since i'm paying a so-called professional, and as such i'm WILLING to pay for results, not possibilities. But even professionals are people too (imaginations differ among then), So if one is not working for you keep searching

I'm not so much laughing at your bad experience as saying to myself 'just what I expected.' They have to do something to justify their fees, and going shopping with your, assigning you things to put together, etc., etc. sounds par for the course to me.

Renovating your home, and deciding what each partner wants to see stresses any marriage. The thing my husband and I concluded after one particularly tough day was that we BOTH had to agree to whatever we did. He wasn't fond of a color I painted the part of the bedroom so I repainted. He also didn't want to go with the trim I was thinking about using so we went with something we both truly love. Fortunately, our styles are close enough that we're in the process of making our house exactly what we want. We also agreed that he's in charge of buiding materials end of things such as what type of thinset we used on our tile floor, and I'm in charge of the design end of things. He can veto my decisions [not many left], but I don't veto his because he knows what's needed to do certain things that he's doing himself. So far, it's working well.

I hope you and your husband can figure out what you want so you don't have to waste your money on that designer.

Curt: Absosmurfly! If we can't laugh about this stuff, it's cry, right?? =D

That's what I was thinking-- I mean, we all have professions and most of us take pride in what we do. This is _their_ profession! I would imagine, even if not for getting back to someone promptly, you'd say something like, "So sorry for missing that deadline! Things have been hectic, but I want to make it up to you!" Not, "I don't want to blow you off!" basically..=P And I'd be organized when I took them out to look at granites/quartzs. And I wouldn't try to convince them not to go with quartz (or whatever material they wanted to go with) because it was "too expensive" even though that's what we _want_. =P And I'd... well, you probably got the gist about ten minutes ago. ;D

Regardless! You're probably right. I just wondered if this was other people's experience with designers too. I was really kinda hoping to hear from designers, themselves! I thought maybe they could give me an idea of what to expect and why our communications might be going they way they are!

Oh well! =D

Thanks again, Curt!

Hi Hayley! (Gorgeous name!): Oh man! That's EXACTLY why I pulled a designer in! I was so tired of the two of us (my husband and I) going at it over the little stuff. He has this "I want to do everything "right"" attitude (which, I have no problem with, usually), but this means that he has this big thing where he doesn't want to risk putting together the wrong color (-GASP-!). It's like the people who get upset when you wear gold and silver together. You know, I'm not a huge fan, but I also think there's really no wrong way, ya know? =D He's so worried we might mix contemporary and industrial or... I don't know, whatever is going on in that weird head of his! =P

At the same time, his style is all about comfort-- again, one would assume that wouldn't be a huge issue! For me, tho, I like unique, and super interesting things. I'd buy a chair because it was made in design that chairs aren't _usually_ made, you know? Now, if it was hard as a board, I wouldn't care! Jer, on the other hand, would buy the over-stuffed 80's couch and love it like a little kid loves ice cream!

So that's why I called the designer. I was hoping they could take our interests, help us combine them, and solve all of this handwringing and craziness that was going on between us. =P I mean, I'm paying this person as much as I pay our therapist an hour! ;P

Anyway, enough about that! Your project sounds really interesting, Hayley, and I hope it turns out spectacular! I love that you guys eventually decided upon a division of labor. Marriage, as it is in my experience, is about 90% compromise and 10% angry faces, so! It sounds like you guys found an awesome compromise there. I just wish my husband trusted my design sense. I don't think I'm doing too bad so far. ;P

Thanks so much for dropping in to post! I really appreciate it! =D

Jen, I can tell you in all truth and honesty that we had more and bigger fights last year when we were renovating our kitchen/dining room and related areas that we've had in the previous 23 years of marriage! It was only after he decided it was time to put our elderly cat to sleep that things came to a head--she was much sicker than we realized so it was a blessing he made that decision, but it brought things to a head like you can't believe!!

Fortunately my husband is incredibly mechanical, and has taught himself woodworking, as well as how to do most things in a renovation, and he really does a wonderful job so I feel very comfortable trusting his opinion when it comes to what we can do to the house.

One thing that struck me about your situation with the furniture is to not fight him about the big chairs and stuff that he prefers, but incorporate your taste in the coffee and end tables, lamps, scounces, rugs, pictures and other wall hangings and the like. So much of the personality of a home is in those things, and if you can use that to reflect your personality, hopefully you can come to a compromise.

One thing I've also learned in the last 4 months is that my husband and his health are worth far more than any house or possession. He was injured on the job [he's a firefighter] so our whole house renovation is at a trickle of spray painting some light fixtures. I think we're going to be living with an unfinished disorganized house for at least another year till he either recovers or is forced to retire. BTW, he hurt his knee when he stepped wrong off an engine in a drill, and tore a couple of tendons. The surgery aggravated some arthritis that had never been a problem until now, and he can't go back to firefighting. We're trying to get some other treatments, but the Labor & Industries is balking so who knows what will happen. All I know is that if we want the hardwood floor we have stacked in the bedroom closet installed in the living room any time soon, we're going to have to hire it done. Oh well, he's more important than a house

Hayley! Oh man, I know we don't know one another, and I know I have no idea where in the world you are, but I swear!!! I feel like we could be best friends. =D I love the way you think about people-- your husband and taking the time to relate to me. It's so sweet! I love sweet people!

I'm so sorry about your kitty. =( We, too, had such a similar situation about a year ago. The baby kitty (he wasn't a baby, but he was very much the runt of his litter, so he never really grew and was always just this tiny little furryball!) had developed sores in his mouth. We worked tirelessly with a vet at the local University (we both worked there in different departments) to try and cure him. Thousands of dollars later (we really really loved him), and he was just in pain, despite what a trooper he was. =( So... yeah, I completely understand. It's so hard to lose someone you love like that. Jeremy, too, made the final decision that it was time for him to go. It was a blessing and I was so relieved when he was okay to let go...

I want to teach myself woodworking so badly! I want nothing more than to have a little workshop in back of our house and to do things like jato and build a deck. -laugh- I also have a tendency to be clumsy, so my husband is afraid I'm going to cut a thumb off. I won't say that the thought hadn't occurred to me as well. ;D I'm just a little jealous, though! I wish Jer had that talent. He's a programmer, so! He does love to be physical, though! He's a runner! He's run marathons and just recently did the Tough Mudder. He really enjoyed it! I bet your husband (as a firefighter) is much the same!

I'm really so sorry your husband was hurt on the job (and then also hurt in the renovation!!). I really hope he heals quickly and feels tip-top soon! I'm sure that won't be the case. =X Injuries like that can sometimes never be fixed. I hate the thought. Knees, backs! The worst, I can commiserate!

I can also commiserate about the unfinished-ness of the house. =X And I'm sorry for that, too. I have been living in an apartment for the last year with boxes filled with our stuff (because the place is much smaller than the house we moved out of) and while it's nice enough and we've made it home (for the time being), it's just all temporary. I'm tired of living this life that's in a constant state of transition. I think that's the same way with having the house "unfinished" .... with everything up in the air, there's no sense of, "Okay, I can cross that one off the list." I don't know if you're anything like me, but that sense of accomplishment and completion helps me move on to other things. WIthout it, I'm stuck. =P

It's been great talking with you! Thanks so much for sharing with me. I know this stuff can be rough-- which is why the professional was like... ugh, so important to me. I wanted them to make this easier, not ... just leave us to our own devices. =P I could have done that by myself and saved $500 =P ... but que sera! =P We'll see what happens in the next week!

And you're right! Your husband is DEFINITELY worth more than the house. More than a hundred put together!

If you are computer savvy, you might like my virtual design service. It's inexpensive. www.idegointeriordesign.com

LOL. What in _the_ world?!

There was nothing BUT facts in my first post (if you're referring to the others, no... those are called "messages" and they're of a more _personal_ nature and directed towards people in particular). If you can't read then I wouldn't want to work with you, either, Sophie. Wow. I like working with people who have tact, so yeah, we wouldn't be a good match.

Encyclopedias. That's hilarious. Five paragraphs. Sorry, maybe at 80 (or whatever) you're just not a good fit for the internet. =D

Good luck with... whatever it is you do.

[Edit: Sorry, I know this is three paragraphs and just a little over a hundred words. It might be taxing. Maybe you should rest up first before you read it.]

Quote from Sophie "You simply aren't a good match with the designer" This is what i read, and this is what i actually heard "Your current designer is no good at solving your particular dilemma" --> This is what i said earlier...every designer is different....everyone has different ideas , slash , imaginations

I admit i'm no interior/exterior designer on any level. But does this stop me from giving suggestions/ideas to others ? Apparently not :)))) But, i give others my opinion anyway. The listener will determine if my suggestion is useful or not. Likewise, if you hire an interior decorator all they can do is suggest.....----> nothing they say is written in stone. Maybe, just maybe, they will not give you a cure all, but give you one idea out of many that says to you "Yes!!! That little statue on the mantle works for me"

I think you can offer advice to anyone you want to, Curt. I'm not sure exactly whom you're addressing, if it's me or Sophie, but I don't think I ever said you couldn't -- or that she couldn't for that matter. I just don't appreciate the tone or tenor of her comment. =) That has nothing to do with what you've offered.

I found what you said useful and it's not like I hadn't thought, "Hmm, maybe we're just not compatible." But, I'd expect a "professional" to tell me that outright and stop wasting my damn money. =P

Quote: "But, I'd expect a "professional" to tell me that outright and stop wasting my damn money. =P "

I agree!!!!
Me and Clo work hard for our paychecks. I would expect results also. I was just trying to emphasize above. BTW, Sophie gives GOOD advice on many other topics, but her wording above was i think just not takened the right way

Curt: Thanks, perhaps I just misread Sophie wrong. I know on the internet it can be heard to "hear" what people are saying because you can't hear them. ;)

I appreciate your calm and level-headedness and for letting me know that what she shares here is good advice.

I bet you DO work hard! And I would be okay with a designer that worked hard-ish! -laugh- I'm pretty sure I'd be okay with MEDIUM. This one is just kind of an eyeroll at this point. Like I said, tho, we'll see what happens this week!

Thanks again for your candor and judicious advice!

I'd be concerned more at her not reading or responding to your messages, than about the way the counter search went. If you're going to stay with her, I'd recommend using bullet points & lists instead of paragraphs in emails. Sometimes taking out the extra words can help. The other thing to try is if you have questions, number them (see below). It really helps make sure all questions are addressed and answered, because you can easily see what they respond with and if they answer everything. The more open-ended the questions, the better.

1. What did you think of our Amazon wishlist?

2. Where are we on our budget?

Etc....

Hey Melody. This was back in July of 2014. =) I ended up doing everything myself (basically I crash-learned what all had to be done). It turned out more beautifully than I ever anticipated with her. =)

I tried to do as you suggested, and I agree that that should have done the job. She sent me back a two word email to ten bullet pointed questions: "It depends."

That's when I wrote her back and told her I would no longer be in need of her "services." =P

Thanks for your suggestions. =)) Hope whatever brought you to Houzz was a happy something!

The most important responsibility of any truly gifted designer, is to be able to understand the client and get a sense of your likes and dislikes in order to make your
house the perfect space for you and your family.

Upon presenting their design to you, it should be made very understandable and should be easier to then make your decision. If you are not happy with your designer, go with your gut feeling and try to find a better interior design firm and a designer who can work well with you - you don't want to be stuck with someone you don't trust in the end!

J Design Group.
225 Malaga Ave.
Coral Gables, Fl 33134

305.444.4611
www.JDesignGroup.com

It's always such a surprise when someone responds to this. Honestly, I don't know how people manage to find it. =D It's more than 3 years old, now.

Like I said, I ended up firing the designer and then just crash-learned everything I needed to know to put the entire thing together, myself. I learned every different material a person could learn from countertops to flooring. Then, I systematically went to every contractor I felt I could trust and work with (based on their past ratings performances on places like Yelp and here on Houzz, etc.) and I took bids.

In the end, I got everything I wanted (and more, actually) and the project came in under budget (both mine, and the designer I fired) by more than $15K. I got GE Slate's series with the 30" free-standing double oven, the 26.7 cu fridge with French Doors, and the Profile Series dishwasher, with the 1.7cu microwave for $1100 (we installed them ourselves).

I matched the appliances with Compac's "Brown Canyon" (Quartz) for the countertops (7000+sq ft for $3965 installed with a pencil edge and backsplash). I also put in a Composite Quartz Undermount Sink (60/40) from Domain Industries ($450) with Moen's Arbor One-Handle High Arc Pulldown Faucet (Oil Rubbed) for another $280. The final piece, outside of some bric-a-brac from Restoration Hardware ($150) was West Elm's Panorama Chandelier to go over the kitchen table ($399).

When it was done, I have to say I was happily impressed! =D

In all honesty, when it comes to future improvements we make, I think I'm just going to do them, myself. I'd love to be able to trust someone with the time I'm paying them to do these kinds of jobs, but it's just too hard to babysit them, while also trying to do other things. If I have to do that, I might as well save all that money I'm blowing on babysitting them, and put it into the house... where it belongs. =D

I agree with you, though. There are certain people who just... get it (and have that gift). I was super sad to discover, though, that there are a LOT more people who just _don't_.