Emotional Process Of Remodeling
designideas4me
December 5, 2012 in Other
I just felt the need to share feelings and thoughts with those of you going through this process.I guess because I am curious and because as much as I thought remodeling would be fun fun fun,it has turned out to be all consuming and stressful. I wanted to have a place where others can share regarding what its been like for them. In some respects I think if money as no issue I would be happy and be done by now.But knowing me I would still be undecided 3 yaers later. One really hard issue for me has been the feeling of disappointment I feel from my teenage son and mother. As the head of household and person who manages the money , its been my job alone to buy the house and remodel it. Well I decided to kinda take it apart after I moved in even though that was not the plan.Some people are planners and savers. I am more impulsive and creative, maybe a little too impulsive. At first I loved shopping for furniture and I always loved looking at modern stores and new ideas and art. But as I learned for the first time in my first house, there is so much to learn. I knew nothing of taking care of a house but with all the demands of life(and being disabled with back pain),its become more of a nightmare. Instead of just doing one room I chose to do the whole house as one. I see these great pictures on houzz and think,I can do that or parts of it. I start planning and imagining but yet few things actually get done. For me anyway I have needed to hire handi-men to lift and build etc. I dont have a husband to do it all and I am sure others who are single( or have lazy husbands) can relate. The financial issues are huge and I know my son cant fully understand. Parting with 10k or 20k is huge for me when I have very little as it is and am almost 50. When I read some discussions on here and see the remodels I think, wow I wish I had that house or money to do that remodel. She has it easy. Maybe thats not the case. But for me I am just trying to find a way to be happy and grateful with my decisions and what I do have and not keep beating myself up daily that its not done and that its not perfect. Well I think I said enough. Please share your thoughts on what you are going through and how its been in your house. Right now I am considering polished concrete which means I have to pack up the entire house and get it into the garage or out of here. Stay in a hotel for 5 days with my son and mother, just to get the floors done. I am just sooo overwhelmed by it all. Its not a happy process. Its demanding and stressful.
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orangecamera
hi designideas4me. I just came across this posting by coincidence, after you posted a response to me a little bit ago. Strange how things work...

Anyway, I wanted to respond to this, because you bring up some good points. I'm surprised nobody else has chimed in yet.

I know what you mean about the really amazing homes and remodels here on houzz. I may love what others are doing, but I also know my own financial and physical limitations. I look at the pretty pictures here for inspiration, but I shop in used furniture stores and yard sales. I have more time than money, and I actually get a thrill when I find something amazing for almost nothing.

I'm lucky that my sons live close-by enough to come help me out when I need some "muscle". And one of them shares my design sensibilities, so I often send him pictures to get his feedback. But it's "my" house and I make the decisions and pay the bills, and yes, sometimes making decisions is tough! Is your son able to help you do some of the physical work? Do either your son or your mom share your sense of style enough to help you out?

Polished concrete might be a cool thing, but you have to really stop and think about whether it's worth all the time and hassle right now. Look at the words you used: overwhelmed, "not a happy process", demanding, stressful. Doesn't sound like something I'd do under the circumstances. Also, since you already have disabling back pain, a very hard floor will not be your friend. Keep that in mind! Do you actually need to replace your current flooring, or do you just want a change of pace? Depending on what you have now, you may find a DIY project that you can physically handle, and will preserve funds for a different splurge. (Use deck paint on worn out hardwood floors, stencil a sisal area rug big enough for your entire room....)

I just bought a house, and I'm having a lot of work done on it before I move in. I'm trying to get all the "I can't do that myself" stuff done first. Everything else will wait until I'm living there, and I'll take my time with it. I hope to move in about 3 weeks, but I'm realistic that it might be longer. After that, I have the rest of my life to decorate, and re-decorate. I like to think of it as a process, not a destination.

One thing I've seen on houzz that I LOVE is where people have wallpapered inside their closets.


I plan to stencil the back wall of my coat closet (it's way cheaper than wallpaper). It's a small enough project that I can physically do by myself, and I know it will make me happy. It will also be good practice using stencils, so I will know if I want to tackle larger projects - like an accent wall in my living room.

What redecorating have you already done, and what do you plan for the future?
December 7, 2012 at 5:13pm   
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designideas4me
Thank you so much for responding. you sound alot likt me. I wrote on another discussion called remodeling budget about much of my nightmare if you wish to read it. But basically I do need a floor and have procrastinated 2 years now. I did remove the carpet and linolium so that at this point it is all concrete. ugly non finished or smooth concrete. I had thought I could do the process of staining etc with a handiman 2 yrs ago but it turned out much more complex and does need an overlay and prof. to do it right. What happened was that I got a bleech stain on the carpet and preceeded to clean it and it got worse and so I ripped it out. But it was ugly and later the toilette overflowed and the bathroom had carpet in it as well so I took that out. Carpet sux and as soft as it feels its not a good investment. I am always barefoot and trust me my feet hurt alot as the pool is drying and the water is hard here. This with theheat and liking to be barefoot kills my feet but I will just use the big rugs over whatever hard floor I choose. I want desperately to have the modern look that can only be achieved in that mannor. So I preceeded to take the house apart.. Hurricaine Debbie..lol... someone walked in and said to me"did you have a flood?" No just got hit by hurricaine Debbie I joked.

As for my son he is not too helpful. I have to pay handimen to help alot or force myself to do what I phycisally can manage. The house is nicely furnished and just needs a kitchen counter and a floor and maybe new cabinets to look good but its more a want than a need on the cabinets. The counter is plywood and I have to put one in. So again it all boils down to money and being realistic. Thank you.
December 8, 2012 at 1:30am   
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