Biggest household bone of contention?
Emily Hurley
January 3, 2014 in Design Dilemma
Is it the direction of the toilet paper? Someone leaves the seat up? Maybe you wish someone would take out the trash a little more often? What is the biggest source of contention in your house?

Share your experience! (Photos encouraged)

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Daybreak Workroom LLC
No dishwasher (except me). Dirty dish "consolidation" is my peeve. Stack the plates, bowls, rinse milk glasses. All the flatware in one place. Keep it all contained in a limited space next to the sink. Rather than left all over the limited counterspace in our small kitchen, which requires consolidation before anyone else wishes to cook (bake the goodies!). If someone else is doing the dishes wouldn't you think it wise to make the effort to minimize the work required of the person who does the thing you don't have to do??
January 3, 2014 at 1:37pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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linhess
No one puts anything away!!!!! Dirty dishes are just the tip of the iceberg. If you get it out, why not put it back when you are done?! Open mail? File it or toss it! I seem to be the only one who knows where anything goes. Hah! I'm too embarrassed to send pictures .
January 3, 2014 at 3:36pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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grobby
My household bone of contention is a little different than dirty dishes and direction of toilet paper, but I think it qualifies because it drives me " nuts." It's the caller who doesn't get an answer on the home phone, so they immediately call on the cell phone, while I'm going all over the house to answer and invariably miss both calls. WHY, WHY, WHY!!!!
January 3, 2014 at 4:00pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Sheila Schmitz
Cat box! =^..^=
January 3, 2014 at 5:26pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Margo
Why am I the only one in the house who knows where everything is??
January 3, 2014 at 5:48pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Darzy
My husband turns off the lights and I hate a dark house. grrrrr
January 3, 2014 at 5:59pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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okdokegal
I understand that one, Margo.

Darzy, I WISH, hang onto that one! Mine leaves all the lights on blazing all the time, walks through and leaves them on for hours. I will get up, turn them all off because they're all on and he's across the house and been there for three hours... and five minutes after I go back to bed, he will walk through, and turn them all on again. And I have TRIED task lighting, and 'night light running lights' (LED that are cheaper to leave on). THEN he complains about the electric bill..... but that's not my one that is the worst....

Closing the Doors and Windows. Those flies are waiting to fly in and they will as soon as there is a chance. RIGHT NOW. I have offered to start screeching at the offender like a harridan like my maternal grandmother did about letting the 'dirty stinking flies' IN! She had EVERYONE TRAINED. You wanted to talk to someone outside, you stepped outside and CLOSED THAT DOOR. If it is above freezing around here, they are around. SHUT THE DOOR! (at least I replaced windows and the siliconed-in-place screens that were all dead of old age and weathering so that one won't be fought anymore.)
January 3, 2014 at 6:03pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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smartin1
Laundry...everywhere! Hangers on door knobs, dirty clothes in the bathroom floor, wet towels flung over the door. Everywhere in my house is laundry waiting to be washed, waiting to be hung/folded, waiting to be put away. It's like my house is a never ending producer of clothing. How can a family of four produce so much laundry!?!?
January 3, 2014 at 6:12pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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lefty47
HI -- Why do I have to be the one that has to remember everything for everyone else . Like taking medications ,appointments, where things are , garbage day and putting a new roll of toilet paper on the holder instead of just setting it on the counter and where the new garbage bags are so a new bag can be put in the bin , and where a clean shirt is in the closet and taking something off a hanger properly and not leaving the hangers all sticking up every which way, closing drawers and cabinets doors ,putting things back where you found it , and not being able to find something in the same kitchen for 30 years. And I am the only one that seams to know what to throw out . !!! Ahhh !!!
January 3, 2014 at 6:21pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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chookchook2
Why do they tell me what we need to buy after I ve struggled home from the shops already?
January 3, 2014 at 8:44pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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monika2024
The kiddo and hubs leaving the lights on in the rooms they're no longer in!!!! Aarrgrh that drives me bonkers!! Said members of the house also try to sneak in with their shoes on- I go ballistic when I catch them. Bird poo-salmonella, dog poo, other animal poo and urine remnants, car grease, public bathrooms/restaurant remnants and all other dirt tracked into the house is just gross, their response - "My shoes are clean" GRRRR.. my response = "THEN LICK THE BOTTOM OF THEM", that's when they usually take them off : D
January 3, 2014 at 8:57pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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okdokegal
Monlka, I LOVE that response, I will remember that. My better half did a get up early, put on his sandals, walk ALL over the house after he walked through a big pile of cat urp... then I get up and try to get to the bathroom to put my contacts in and all I can do is hit cold slimy cat urp every step or dodge... and here he comes to see what I'm screaming about and brings a fresh trail. It took me an hour and a half after confiscating all his shoes to clean that up and follow the trails across all the carpeting and find the original source. How he never seen it he still hasn't explained 20 some years later.

Chook, I'm so used to having to read minds and fill a pantry. Rather than look just screech about we're out of X and I must appear to hand it to them no matter what I was doing, bathroom visits are NOT sacred. :)

Laundry, just make them do their own and if it's not done or not unwrinkled or can't be found, not your fault. Nothing makes my better half listen to the laundry-do-er than making him chase his own for a month or so.

Flies here are insane, they literally are bonkers then they drive you that way... he's never had one dive bomb his face and try to crawl in his nose for almost two days; I could not sleep until I found and killed that one. Hence flies are still my #1. Hubs WILL learn to close those doors.
January 3, 2014 at 9:14pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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solincia
All of the above, and now I feel better that I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel like I should be the only one to empty the dishwasher or I'll never see my measuring spoons again because somehow, after living in this house for a year, I'm the only one who knows where stuff belongs in the kitchen--although I feel like I'm always repeating it to my husband. I should buy stock in a winery...
January 3, 2014 at 9:32pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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smartin1
Oooo oooo... Eating or drinking the last of anything, then putting the empty container back in the pantry/fridge. Really?!?
January 3, 2014 at 9:45pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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pickyvicky
Before marrying my hubby, I lived on my own and had my own toolbox. Every time after I used a tool, I was diligent about putting it back into the toolbox.

One day, a few years after we were married, I opened my toolbox to grab my hammer and, alas, it was empty! Not one tool remained.

After some quizzing, it seems that my little toolbox was more attractive to find what was needed in a pinch, then to search the super-sized custom-built tool bench created to specifically house my husband's tools he inherited from his grandfather's mega stash.

Ironically, grandpa's motto was "if you put everything back into its place, you'll always know where it is." I guess that gene wasn't passed on.
January 3, 2014 at 10:44pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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pickyvicky
Oh, forgot to add the trick of walking past the coat closet just to hang your coat over a chair in the kitchen!
January 3, 2014 at 10:47pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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PirateFoxy
I seem to be the only one in the house who can remember to close cabinet doors in the kitchen. I am considering putting up obnoxiously bright signs about it...
January 3, 2014 at 11:32pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Victoria
All of the above pretty much and my personal pet peeve is looking for lost items with the voice, as in "Honey, where are my car keys/sunglasses/scarf/running iPod holding thing etc etc?". This has unfortunately led to "Mummy, where's my ....?"
The response from me "Look with your eyes not your voice." LOL
January 4, 2014 at 12:29am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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3wizkids
For me coming in from work and tripping over school backpacks and lunch bags
January 4, 2014 at 12:30am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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rredpenn
Wow I liked a lot of these... and I thought I was pretty laid back, and lucky, to not have such issues with my otherhalf. Empty nesting now, and it does have its advantages! I guess the one that struck the biggest chord was the "not putting things back where they belong" one. I have just learned over the years to expect that, and whilst his role is to go around fixing things, my role is to follow him around and replace the used tools and clean up afterwards. :) We are a good team.
January 4, 2014 at 5:50am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Daniel DeSantis Interiors
The kids leaving the toilet seat up which invites our giant dog to drink out of the bowl. First, the irritating sound of lapping toilet water, then having to clean up the dripping throughout the house. Can't take it.
January 4, 2014 at 5:54am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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indianpatti
I get all the laundry done and a short while later, another mountain of it appears? Grrrr.
January 4, 2014 at 6:08am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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mousemaker
too numerous to mention :)
January 4, 2014 at 8:56am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Linda
The biggest bone of contention...depends on the day! I agree with several of the above comments. I do get very tired of seeing every kitchen cabinet door open and the drawers as well. One of these days I'll get so disgusted that I'll pop the hinge pins and remove every one of the upper doors that I find standing open.

Worse yet is the dishwasher is just past the fridge alongside the main walking path from the commonly used side entry door into the house. So, leaving the dishwasher open causes every single person to thread their way between the DW door and the microwave carrying whatever they are bringing into the house. It's more of a serious issue because if someone was having a problem and needed to run into the house, they would likely run smack dab into the side of the dishwasher door.
January 4, 2014 at 10:07am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Kari D
Dirty clothes on the floor NEXT TO THE HAMPER! And empty pop or beer cans left in the sink or on the counter NEXT TO THE RECYCLING BIN! One extra step, literally, and everything would be in its place. Laziness, uggghhh!
January 4, 2014 at 4:19pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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charleee
I guess I'm lucky, I don't really have one. My hubby is really great about picking up after himself, taking out the garbage, and just generally appreciating everything I do. Oh! And if something needs fixing or doing, he gets on it NOW!
January 4, 2014 at 4:26pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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smileyface2013
Replacing the paper towels when they run out. Replacing toilet paper used to be a problem, but has been cured since I changed the toilet paper holder when we remodeled.


January 4, 2014 at 6:13pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Fl!p Breskin
No one else has mentioned build-up of papers. It's not exactly a bone of contention because we both do it. I find blame to be destructive and try to avoid it, but sometimes I can hear grumpy voices in my head. Instead of letting them out, we both play the game of Spouse Points. "Hey Zeke, I know a way you could get a LOT of Husband Points. I'm feeling desperate about all the guests coming tomorrow and would love your help getting this place back to its better self. I know the mess isn't your fault." The key thing about Husband Points is that they are irrevocable. We both get what we really want, someone caring about us in ways we can feel.
January 4, 2014 at 11:32pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Fl!p Breskin
On the other hand, who came up with white grout for shower tiles? It was there when we bought the place. After the remodel, we're going with Mildew Grey grout!
January 4, 2014 at 11:35pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Patricia
charleee, can he be cloned??
January 4, 2014 at 11:56pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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magspag
I thought my husband was the only person who had an ideological objection to closing doors and drawers. I swear this has only happened in the last 10 years and we have been married for 40. And why do visiting adult offspring need a clean towel every day. I know in their own homes they are unlikely to change their towels more than once a fortnight.
January 5, 2014 at 1:18am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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okdokegal
Okay I'll add, mine can't close a cupboard door or drawer to save his life either, I'm going to put little closers on the cupboard doors at least. He will open it to get a glass, let go of the door, and walk off. Then walk past it several more times still open. And I am going to leave every door off in the house so he can't hang coats or towels on them. Over the top edge. We reuse bath towels but for about a week I had my towel disappear every day, step out and it's gone so have to make a trail to find a new one and I go in his office and he has 8 over the door, they won't dry and the bottom five are moldy. He would go to shower and forget to take his so he'd swipe mine and go to his office to finish 'fluffing' and hang it over the door. Before I went in search I had used a handtowel the time before and he swiped that too.

Tools, we have evolved into 'his' 'mine' and 'ours'. You touch a tool that's not yours you PUT IT BACK or you can be rolled out of bed to find it no matter how long it takes. If you leave YOUR tool out and it gets rained on and rusty, it's YOUR problem. You do it to NOT YOUR TOOL you are in deep doo. Requests to use some of my tools often include me showing up attached to it. I will do the function with the tool then leave with the tool. Then I know it wasn't abused and exactly where it is (several incidents evolved this). No matter when, I will show up with civility with the tool and I will leave with the tool.

I can live with empty TP spindles, seats up, my good expensive heavy duty linesman pliers left out to be watered for three hours with the sprinkler, and a lot of the rest, but. He will learn to close the doors for the flies or the next time I get a kamakazi that wants to fly into my face and crawl into my nose when I try to go to sleep and I am on my second day of no sleep... I am going to lock him in the bedroom with the fly and nail the door shut. When he jumps out the window, I'll bet he finally has learned... nah, I bet he won't. Still. Flies in the house are still #1.
January 5, 2014 at 1:58am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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langleyboy
Hate the toilet roll having the 'pull' sheet at the back. I always have it front on and even change it in any house I visit. ...bit weird I know.
January 5, 2014 at 2:18am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Daybreak Workroom LLC
The "tool thing" is a biggie for me, too. I have a lot of tools that are pretty specialized... . We came to an understanding about scissors when I found my beloved happily cutting up a chicken with a brand new pair of coating shears ("These are really sharp"). Using an expensive stain brush to apply bottom paint to the skiff was another low point. Lol. My tools are not "marital property". ;)
January 5, 2014 at 5:51am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Luciana
Like most of the rest here, I have two: first is him leaving his socks drawer open every time!! every single day with no exception; even after years of me nagging! I was thinking of an automatic 'pull back' mechanism for the drawer - it would help with crime reduction, considering I'm planing his murder every time I see it (that's daily!).

Also, him using the newel post as a bloody coat hanger. It doesn't matter if it's his Armani jacket or Nike hoody - they all end up one on top of each other on the banister. And we have hooks and a coat closet just 1 metre away. I was thinking to cover it in barbed wire... but then only the first coat would be ruined... any ideas what I can do? except killing him, of course.

(disclaimer 1: these photos are sort of staged! I closed the socks drawer myself and took photos of the staircase in the summer when there were no coats around.
disclaimer 2: this comment cannot be used as evidence against me if any crime is committed).
January 5, 2014 at 6:30am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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chookchook2
Luciana, research logical consequences. The punishment fits the crime.
January 5, 2014 at 7:10am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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chookchook2
Don't forget a carrot as well as the stick.
January 5, 2014 at 7:11am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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sandpat
I agree with lots of the above, but my most hated thing is that when I pop up outta my seat to go get something quickly (because I'm in the middle of doing something)...hearing...."honey, while you are up would you......". Of course he is being considerate by not making me make a special trip, but by the time I do his "whatever little thing", I've totally forgotten what I got up for in the 1st place! Grrrrr!
January 5, 2014 at 2:46pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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charleee
sandpat, I forget what I got up for even if someone doesn't interrupt me!
January 5, 2014 at 2:49pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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pickyvicky
Hahaha! I love all these comments. I'm not alone.

Reminds me when I was hospitalized for a weekend ten years ago and I, quite by accident, got a private room. I kept joking to the hospital staff that I was on "vacation" because all my meals were cooked & I had the remote control. :)
January 5, 2014 at 5:17pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Keitha
This winter the biggest bone of contention is "who's turn it is to make the hot chocolate"!!!
January 5, 2014 at 5:30pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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bungalowmo
For me...just not enough time to do all the things/projects I want to do.

I live alone so I can't balme anyone else for leaving things out, on, off or around. But there's also no one here to ask for help with anything.

It's a double edged sword... :0(
January 5, 2014 at 5:52pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Luciana
Chook, not bloody Plato again! Est modus in rebus and all that, but where's the fun there?

I'm having problems with your carrot and stick comment. How does that help? Are you saying I should cover the newel post in carrots and sticks? I don't think my other half is scared of carrots (he doesn't like clowns, tho). And the sticks would only provide him with more ad-hoc hooks. Plus, we did the orange accent thing in the bathroom, I don't want it to look like I've run out of ideas and had to repeat myself.

Or do you think I should put carrots in his socks. Or a stick in the drawer. Like the Russian St Nicholas' present. Is that what you meant?

And please, don't come back saying 'you catch more flies with honey' etc. I really, truly don't want to catch any flies. I don't really like them. Plus we are quite lucky around here, we see about 3 flies per summer. It would be difficult to stalk and catch them. And really, truly boring. And why? I don't even have a pet spider. And honey is so sweet and sticky. Very sticky. Or do you think I should put honey on the banister? But then again, only the first coat will be ruined and will be stuck there forever. I'm really not sure about your advice today, chook...

And, just to be sure, I should add that we are not into "canning the bunny" play, in case your advice was hinting that way. (disclaimer: there's nothing wrong with whoever does it - whatever floats your boat, mate! - is just not us...)
January 5, 2014 at 5:56pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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pickyvicky
Luciana, get a clown mask & put it on the newel post. :)
January 5, 2014 at 6:45pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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okdokegal
Daybreak, I spent decades trying to teach my better half that my specialty scissors were NOT to cut stuff with; he decided that he could ask me with my razor shears in one hand and a cut up milk carton in the other; that it was okay to use this set of scissors, right, the (cheapo) pair in the drawer was the pair he shouldn't touch? He had to take a half day off of work and find the one place in our major metro that could sharpen those. I learned about a year ago, hang them on a pegboard and suddenly they were 'tools' and no touch. (head meets desk).

Luciana, get one of those spring poles, that adjust with a spring in the middle and install between the ceiling and the newel post top. Wrap the pole with black and yellow striped caution tape. When he asks, tell him that's his training device. Remove it and they won't find his body. The closet is over there.... and no you are not taking up pole dancing and he better not either...

I have been married over three decades. It's easier to train a puppy.

At least it's too cold right now to have flies trying to get into the house (snow on ground) though I found a hatchout of grasshopper nymphs in the greenhouse, having lunch on the radish seedlings. I smushed 5 of the 8 so in the next day or two I should get the rest... they're still better than flies!
January 5, 2014 at 7:03pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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chookchook2
Totally agree, Okdokegal, I've often said it is much easier to train our animals than my people. I said it to the dogs, as the people had wandered off.
January 5, 2014 at 7:11pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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favoritegram
I agree with every comment, finding things, clothes on floor next to hamper, open cupboards etc but my worst is "can you do me a favor". But when I ask him to do something I'm met with a grouch voice or made to feel like a nag, LOL this after 50 years
January 5, 2014 at 7:51pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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nwduck
After nearly losing my better half of 35 years, I'm now not so dang picky about open cabinets, coats on chairs, scissors used for the wrong purpose, etc. I'm over being ticked off about things like that. Ok, mostly over being ticked off. Years ago I heard comedienne Roseanne Barr declare: "the uterus IS a tracking device", which explains why we always know where everything is. :)
January 5, 2014 at 8:08pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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solincia
Let this thread be a testament that our husbands don't secretly try to get under our skin or blatantly ignore us--evidently men will be men!! I can relate to pretty much ALL of this!! Now about that wine...
January 5, 2014 at 8:22pm        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Christine
It's just about being respectful!
January 6, 2014 at 12:20am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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okdokegal
Flip Breskin, we have 'brownie points' too. Many years ago I worked shift and came home after 14 hours to hear him missing all over the bathroom with the flu. An hour later, repeat. (it almost always is in 3's, but he stopped at 2). I sent him back to bed and tried not to ralf cleaning it up. (he spent next day home sick. I did catch it 4 days later, and went to work an hour after finishing my emptying out... no choice for me) A month later I got a cold and fever, and at 3 am I nudged him and said Orange Juice. Trust me, that was the only thing I could continue to fight the germfarming for... he got up, checked fridge, checked freezer for some, got dressed and went to store and got me some and delivered. Payback for the flu. Ever since then we can ask the other for a favor and get it, and it's pretty even. Favoritegram, hope you get yours reprogrammed.... it's two way.

I know I drive him crazy too; but I'm the one sitting here typing. :) A game played, Do you know where X is? No, you had it last. No I didn't, I used it then you took it to do... Yeah then YOU took it and did... Um, last one standing gets to go look for it. You had it last, you lost it, you find it. Most of the time it's he had it last.. and he's hoping he doesn't have to look for it.

Oh, nearly at the top with close the door, the fly you let sneak in may mean your homicide is front page news tomorrow.. rinse the plunger if you have to use it. Yes it will REEK within a day otherwise.
January 6, 2014 at 12:46am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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574steele
I have to agree with all opinions above. Dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is right there, cat barf on the carpet tracked around the house by "someone else" but I have to clean it up, dirty shoes not left at the door, the list goes on. I've come to the conclusion, the only way to change this is do what our mothers, once again the ladies have to take action, and I'm just as guilty of not doing this, but we need to train our children what are acceptable behaviors in keeping a clean house. Changing the idea that only mom takes care of having a spotless home is so June Cleaver. Until we change our own expectations of who is responsible for the clutter and raise our little ones to be engaged for their own actions, we'll never see the results we wish for. I have to blame my mother-in-law for the behaviors my husband learned as a child and I have to change what my mom raised me to believe, that the woman of the house was the only one responsible for cleaning. So young moms, encourage & praise your children when they pick up after themselves and maybe the next generation of men will clean up after themselves and the women won't feel they have to vent on Houzz
.
January 6, 2014 at 4:40am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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sandpat
On the scissor thing....you can always put a padlock through the handles. lol!
January 6, 2014 at 7:06am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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okdokegal
sandpat, he'll get an anglegrinder and remove the padlock.... buy them their own scissors, and they promptly lose it and are after yours anyways. I even tried buying like a dozen cheap pairs, identical, to be used as 'house scissors'. Within a day they were all missing so he came looking for the good ones... whether they are four, or over forty, the others in the house just want to trash your sacred scissors...

I have hope that no matter what the age, we can retrain them.
January 6, 2014 at 9:03am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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bungalowmo
Put the scissors in a ziplock bag and keep them with the cleaning supplies.
Trust me...no one will find them.
January 6, 2014 at 10:01am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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armipeg
I'm a homemaker and a mother of 2 teenage boys. My husband works very hard to provide for us, and I work hard around the house doing my part to keep everything in order. Besides my daily chores (multitasking), I don't mind picking up after everyone, once in a while. The only thing I wish they would learn to do is wiping their shoes before they walk inside. My sons take care of their own rooms, and they do anything I ask from them, and that's good enough for me. I love taking care of my family. If my husband and sons would do everything, then what am I suppose to do? Sit and watch TV?
Nahhh...Not my cup of tea :)
January 6, 2014 at 10:01am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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Studio M Interior Design
Please, please, PLEASE don't empty the trash without putting in a new garbage bag. There's nothing worse than throwing something away and hearing it hit the bottom of a bare can :)
January 6, 2014 at 10:04am        Thanked by Emily Hurley
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nasmijati
Some of you might like the FlyLady.net site. She breaks down household tasks into 15 minute segments. She also advocates a list approach, so that all family members can see what tasks need to be accomplished in a day. That way, a family member can choose one, do it, and check it off the list. No nagging.

The FlyLady system has worked very well for me.
January 6, 2014 at 10:10am     
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momof5x
Hahaha, I agree with Margo, we seem to know where everything is and everyone asks 'where it this or that?" but not just that, you have to give them directions at times even if right in front of them!

My hubby was looking for some papers the other day for the house, all the ones I have are in files, labelled and easy to find, his are here and there and in a place he knows :o When he can't find the papers ( which he knows very well he highly likely has just forgotton where he put them) he comes to me asking where is the paper he gave me!!! hahaha as if out of the blue, I would hand them to him--his wish- rather than looking everywhere for them! Later he finds them, in a drawer in plain view but unlabelled! He comes to me and says he found them in MY file box - I always find him out though!

I think main problem is getting maintenance jobs done here and there, I have to start off making an effort before anyone else moves-and this is usually for everyone benefit too not just something for my use etc..
January 6, 2014 at 10:56am     
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iwantit
My goodness, I had a laugh at some of these and I can relate to most. The scissors are a point of contention. I have the kitchen scissors in a drawer in the kitchen, where it should be. Whenever he needs a scissor, for whatever reason, that's the one he goes to. It drives me crazy.
I also, used to live alone and had my tools, I'm still peeved about what he's done to them.
I love finding dirty socks behing the cushions of the sofa.
I swear he sees the floormat and skips over it before wiping his shoes with it. My dog has more manners than him in this regard.
I love it when he "helps me" do the few dishes in the sink only to stack them dripping wet on the counter or putting them inside the dishwasher to drip all over the clean dishes he didn't empty from the dishwasher.
I also love it when he "helps" me by taking out the trash and not putting another bag in the basket.
Oh, wait, I love it when he walks away from the bathroom with his towel around his waist and puts it to dry in the other bathroom but doesn't retrieve it so next time he bathes he takes my towel and when I go to shower.....no towel. (I have small bathroom and the extra towels are in the linen closet outside the bathroom.)
I could go on but then I'd just be nagging...... :)
January 6, 2014 at 11:09am     
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mkmort
All of these make me realize how lucky I am and how everyone has issues. Made my week. Although the missing scissors reminds me of the issue I had when my boys were growing up. My kitchen scissors would disappear and of course NO ONE had used them. So I would buy another pair for the kitchen. When my oldest left for the Army I cleaned his room and found 10+ pair of kitchen scissors. Now I know who the NO ONE is. Still missing 2 pair of Cutco scissors but I think they just vanished since it was after he left.
January 6, 2014 at 11:36am     
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alwaysdesigning
After reading all the posts, I am lucky that we don't have any issues. However, I have noticed when my son and DIL visit, they turn the TP in the guest bathroom to suit how they like it. Sometimes they forget to turn it back around before they leave. I also bought TP holders for our new house that have two posts in the wall to keep the TP from flying off the spindle. THAT aggravated me after I had "updated" our previous bath to a one spindle holder. Securely held TP is now in our new house. http://www.lowes.com/pd_294851-29279-20105-0432_4294639620__?productId=50106232&Ntt=allen+and+roth&pl=1¤tURL=%3FNtt%3Dallen%2Band%2Broth&facetInfo=
January 6, 2014 at 11:58am   
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bungalowmo
Hey "always"...at least they put the paper ON the roller...instead of leaving the cardboard empty roll & setting the new one on a windowsill or the back of the toilet.

Count your blessings.
January 6, 2014 at 12:07pm     
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PirateFoxy
I think it's hilarious that some folks have commented on the dog having better manners, because mine does, too! When he comes in from outside he'll stop and wait just inside the door until you close the door and get a towel to wipe him off with so he doesn't track damp muddy paw prints all over. Meanwhile, the people come in and there are big chunks of snow halfway through the house even though we have TWO doormats. (One of those fake iron ones made of rubber outside the door for knocking off big clumps, and then an absorbent bristle type inside the door for a second pass.)

Dog actually gives you a dirty look if you forget to wipe him off. (To make this Houzz-related - any ideas for storing a couple of towels for him near the front door in a way that looks reasonably presentable? We do eventually hope to have more of a mudroom entrance around the side, but in the meantime I'd rather not end up with towels draped randomly near the door. The coat closet is too far away to be a good stash point for the wet-dog towel. Just get pretty towels and put a small coat hook on the wall?)
January 6, 2014 at 12:33pm     
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Linda
As a youngster, my daughter was the household scissors thief. We had a radiator cover/window seat in the breakfast room which held containers of all her art supplies. I got so disgusted with never being able to find scissors that I drilled a hole in the window seat near the wall. I took about a three foot long piece of string, ran in through the hole and tied one end to the scissors and knotted the other so the scissors couldn't disappear. Whenever I had something I wanted to open, I just walked it over there. Those scissors stayed there for the next few years until we reorganized and removed the radiator cover.

My business partner and his roommates all smoke but I don't allow smoking inside. I was irritated by people lighting cigarettes from the gas stove because they didn't have a lighter. My solution was to buy long handled barbecue lighters and chain one to the back porch railing and another to a table on the front porch. Originally, there was only a lanyard with a clip to attach the lighter but one smart ass decided to unfasten the lighter and walk off with it. So, I wrapped the lanyard with wire and told everyone that the next person who ran off with a lighter could find themselves a new place to live.
January 6, 2014 at 12:43pm     
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Christine R
probably the TV. He *must* have it, and it's gigantic. I would be completely happy if we didn't have one at all. I suppose I have to deal, because he does always leave the seat down and closes the lid of the toilet.
January 6, 2014 at 12:45pm     
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okdokegal
bungalowmo, baggy scissors wouldn't work. The razor shears he went for instead of the pair in the drawer in the kitchen; were in a storage unit in my sewing area across the house. In their special box in a cardboard sleeve. Instead of using the one at hand, he had to go up half a flight, across the house, into a room, into the storage unit, take out the box, remove the sleeve, open the box and remove the scissors. They had warnings on the box about how sharp they were and to keep them away from children, and the maker had supplied the box to keep them in, they were that nasty. There were several other sized pairs of my good specialty scissors in that same unit; he had to take out THAT pair. He should have also clued in about how they were in my sewing area and in real storage.

I hate the TP roll bit you mentioned... at house two previous I had installed one of those over the tank springpole mounted cabinet things (a couple of shelves and a little compartment with mirror sliding doors) to keep things that overflowed the vanity. He would use the TP then place it on the top most of this thing; at nearly the ceiling. TP would disappear, it would be taken OFF the spindle, so I'd get another roll from under sink, and I always bought big packages.... then one day I am in dire straits, barely make it, need the TP and there is NONE. I manage to look around and finally see that that one shelf way over my head behind me is CRAMMED FULL of TP rolls from nearly empty to nearly full. He couldn't put another one up there if he tried, I had even found a couple of partials sitting on the vanity and put them back on the spindle. (no I never looked up there unless I had to clean) ...let's just say that scream could have cut glass, he came to see how I'd been killed and he reached me one. This was before the retraining with the Canadian bacon pineapple pizza and flu incident that I had to clean up used pineapple twice. I took that thing down as soon as I was done and stuffed most of the crap in and on it under the sink. He complained bitterly he had no place to put the TP when done. Where does the TP roll belong?--ON THE SPINDLE. He never reused a roll, just did whatever then put the roll up there. I wouldn't have minded if he had a roll he kept up there but he never took one down again.
January 6, 2014 at 1:53pm     
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luvkat
I am giving a shout out to Solincia-that's the best profile name I have seen on this internet YET. I thought that "Maven of Reputation" was pretty friggen good- back in the days when "MY Space!" mattered....hahahahahah you just said "Silence!" GOLDEN. Now I will go back to reading all the comments after yours, and feel super bad for people with an actual dishwasher or an actual toilet paper holder- YEP.......
January 6, 2014 at 4:09pm     
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luvkat
And, whoever, has no issues at all except for 'who will make the hot chocolate?' Oh man, the human struggle. (Still reading, but it's Monday, I am totally out off cocoa and I still have not worn my rain boots that I bought at a second hand shop in the Fall, so there's that.)
January 6, 2014 at 4:28pm     
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E M L
Tools! My husband and father in law never put tools back. Ever. I spent days last summer sorting and organizing and tossing tools. One project later it's a mess again. I now have my own small tool box hidden. There are so many other things but that one always gets me.
January 7, 2014 at 6:24am     
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E M L
Pirate foxy - we buy Ikea towels for the dogs. They come with sewn in loops and they are easy to hang on the door knob. The white ones wash up nicely. The towels come in other colors as well.
January 7, 2014 at 6:30am     
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Sustainable Dwellings
Echo Margo.... my husband acts like he is an overnight guest here... can't find anything beyond his closet, OR, maybe he grew up on Downton Abbey and is waiting for his man-servant to cater to his every whim?
January 7, 2014 at 6:49am     
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Bonnie
Let's see...there are so many things. I guess cat box ranks as number one never ending mess. Then, there is the toilet seat which always gets left in the up position. Also, apple cores and orange peels that get left on the kitchen counter by my husband every time he has a snack... I have never asked him but I wonder if he thinks that a fruit fairy mysteriously appears to scoop up and dipose of peels and cores.
January 7, 2014 at 7:02am     
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sandpat
EML...paint all your tools bright PINK! Maybe then they will quit using yours..lol
January 7, 2014 at 9:58am     
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okdokegal
sandpat, if they are evaporating tools they'll just complain about someone painting them, and take them anyways!

I can stand peels, Bonnie.

Mine decides to 'clean the fridge' by taking out all the dubious food containers and leaving them on the counter. Then he leaves. Not one thought of stunning the pulsating furry bit and scooping it out into the trash, then taking the trash out. They were in hibernation, taking them out and letting them warm up wakes them up. He'll leave them sit there and walk right by them for a couple of days then complain when they really start reeking. (I left them sit once to see if he would finish dealing with them) It's supposed to be *helping* me. No it makes more work. Had I wanted to do that chore at that moment I would have done it; he doesn't have to make me more work. Oh, who put most of that in there? Him.

Also, a garbage disposal is for a few bits as you go. You do not run a full quart or two of something down it! He thinks he can feed it vast quantities. I remind him of the recent rooter bill for that and his papertowel flushing. ... gotta love'm, nothing else to be done at this point.
January 7, 2014 at 12:26pm     
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soozmacrae
Oh so many of the above comments ring so true with my family. My lot don't care about a clean and tidy house so if I tell them to clean up I get told that its only me that's bothered about it so I can clean it! Ill get my own back one day. I cant stand a mess so they say (tongue in cheek), that it gives me something to do.
January 7, 2014 at 1:00pm     
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Bonnie
@Luciana... I have a suggestion for the sock issue. Take his socks out at night and lay them on top of the dresser so he doesn't have to open the drawer in the morning. Now let's see for the newell post you could electrify it so that he would get zapped each time he lay a coat on it... or I have seen this machine that squirts water to deter certain behaviors. It is actually intended for cats and is motion activated but you could position it on the steps so that when he comes close enough to put his jacket on the post he gets squirted good. Have it on a timer so it only works during the time period when he arrives home (i.e. so you don't get squirted going up and down the stairs all day). Okay, that suggestion was not so nice but better than murder...yes? LOL!

Here is the link http://www.amazon.com/Contech-StayAway-Motion-Activated-Pet-Deterrent/dp/B000DZFFN4/ref=sr_1_3?s=pet-supplies&ie=UTF8&qid=1389140038&sr=1-3&keywords=cat+water+sprayer
January 7, 2014 at 4:10pm     
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piedmontdiva
My favorite is "WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY __fill in the blank__?" This usually means that he just hasn't A) opened a drawer B) looked at all the OTHER like items sitting in a neat pile in his closet and moved one thing aside to find said item behind or under or C) doesn't realize said item is something I have never touched.

I think (at least in our household), the main problem is not having a system of organization that BOTH of us know, use and respect. I finally bought him a little clothes valet for his side of the bed, so I could actually see the poof at the end of the bed. His valet is now a mountain of clothes, which looks just as crappy. I think flylady, etc… is all well and good, but everyone else in the house needs to understand the organization in order to use it.

Come to think of it, I may label the crap out of the inside of closets today. HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone!!
January 8, 2014 at 12:52am     
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conniedial
The toilet LID up...AND the toilet seat left up...just plain gross...yet he refuses to place them down after he completes his "mission". I seriously want to remodel our undersized master bathroom and replace that toilet with one that has an automatic seat AND lid function...booyah! Problem could be solved in at least ONE bathroom...:)
January 8, 2014 at 5:24am   
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Rempfer Construction, Inc.
Crushing the toothpaste and spitting on the spigot of the sink. Oh and if I could get my puppy to pick up her toys that'd be great. haha!
January 8, 2014 at 5:29am   
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bluejeanroy
Mine has got to be my tools. I have tried everything! The woman's pink tool set. Hiding them
under my couch, bed and in my car. Nothing works! Because Mom always has the tool they always take mine and of course it never finds it way back. Soooo frustrating!
Now my daughter would tell you that her pet peeve is my hogging the remotes. She says I hide them. Who me?
January 8, 2014 at 5:57am     
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Bonnie
Here's another one... for many months I would notice that every time I opened bread or some item that came with a twister seal tie that when I went to wrap the food item up I would look around the counter and the twister tie would be missing. I would look under wrappers or whatever was cluttering the counter and on the floor but nothing. I must be losing my mind I thought. Then finally one day I was looking into the floor grate that covers our heating intake duct and noticed dozens and dozens of twister seal ties. The cat had been stealing them and then shuttling them to this hiding place unbeknownst to me. A few weeks later, I noticed when looking into another floor grate that there were dozens and dozens of bottle caps... Does anyone else have animal thiefs in the house? I never leave any jewelry laying around because I am afraid that cat would relocate it and never to be found again.
January 8, 2014 at 6:00am     
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bluejeanroy
I hear you Bonnie! My cat has a thing for socks and gloves. It isn't the washing machine monster that gets my socks it's my cat Nannie. She also steals my grandchildren's small stuffed toys!
January 8, 2014 at 7:01am     
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ebea
I have found that the best place to hide anything is in the bottom of the clothes basket.
My 3 boys are men now but when they were little I told them and my husband to sit down to pee or else they would clean the toilets. After a very short time, they complied and the seat up problem went away. Now that the boys are men and have their own toilets, they still sit instead of stand unless they are away from their homes. Their wives love me!! Why should I be the only "sitter" in the house and still have to clean sprinkly spots.
January 8, 2014 at 7:58am     
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Annette Jordan
A remedy for leaving toilet seats up---replace them with soft close seats. Everybody loves to put the seat down now!
January 8, 2014 at 9:13am     
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conniedial
I plan on that with the other bathrooms...ours needs a whole new unit and remodel!!
January 8, 2014 at 9:16am   
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rawketgrl
In our household we all have things we are good at and things we are bad at. Unfortunately none of us are skilled at housework.
..My super power is a uterine finding device, so I get the job of finding all "lost" items.
..My housemate has the "kill it with fire" super power so she takes care of the "nope, nopes", ..my significant other has the super power of fixing things (he can fix anything).

We have been needing to place an ad for a fourth to join our lair 'the dog house', who's super power is CLEANING! I just keep hoping my house mate will find a stray after one of her adventures. We all agree, you can find men who will clean but usually they are already wisely taken. LOL fun post....
January 8, 2014 at 9:24am     
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Estudio Castaño
I can relate to many of these... tho I don't live with my partner, I live with my sister haha she's really messy and drives me crazy sometimes! She eats that special slice of super yummy pie I had saved up for after work (or it's equivalent). She won't ever change the toilet paper when is needed, or put a new hand towel when the other is dirty and in the laundry basket. I organize the bathroom cabinet and she just throws stuff in there again, plus she takes my stuff and my clothes and pretends it never happens (while also messing up my organized closet in the process) so I have to look for them through all of the house every time! I even ask her if she took it first so I can find it faster and she always says she didn't, then I'll find it on one of her drawers/purses or her closet/laundry pile... ugh! Plus, she gets really mad if i ever ask to borrow something of hers. REALLY getting excited about moving out of here soon and living on my own haha.
January 8, 2014 at 9:27am     
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ninachevalier
your the only one who knows were it is because you're the only one who puts it away. lol. been there done that!
January 8, 2014 at 9:43am     
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mkmort
When my boys were younger I tried to get them to put the seat down but since hubby won't it was really difficult to get them to. One night I woke up and the bathroom fan was on fire and dripping into the toilet. Seat was up if it had been down the cushioned seat would have caught on fire and I might not have had to wait 15 years to get the bathroom remodeled. Lesson learned.
January 8, 2014 at 9:48am     
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lauriedaily
This is a very long comment stream! LOL people love to vent.
Mine is our $20,000 wood floor constantly looks horrible due to our huge dog prints, slobber and hair all over!
January 8, 2014 at 10:53am     
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trumpedup
Haha, I have had a good laugh! Toilet paper feeding out under the roll not over - and yes I change it at other peoples houses too!
Hubby's favourite trick - apple core left in the sink ON TOP OF THE WASTEMASTER - much too hard to push it through - does it eventually biodegrade & fall through by itself?! Juice left on the bench - sometimes with the lid off. So kind, perhaps just in case you wanted some?? Rrrrrr, the fridge is right there buddy .....The 'man look' - need I say more!
No kids or pets - or snow - so thankfully most things manage to stay clean & tidy! And I don't seem to have a problem with toilet seat or tool-pinching! (Mind you one does have to scoot about picking things up if finally manage to get an R&M job done .....!)
Generally he is domesticated - helped clean out the deep freeze last night!
Have just shifted house so am finally sorting through papers & photos & creating 'systems.'
And yes we are lucky ones in January in the southern hemisphere - ahem, its pouring with rain, filthily grey, and we have not had all that much of a summer to speak of!
Happy New Year.
January 8, 2014 at 11:36am     
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lilion
Reading these have made me feel very, very lucky. My husband came pre-trained from a family with seven kids and two parents who worked, to 4 years in the Marines, to 15 years as a bachelor after that, he does laundry, does dishes, cooks, cleans and generally is a better "wife" than I am! He even puts the seat down! Now when my son was still home it was different. With a dishwasher literally one step from the sink, dishes would go on the counter - and how hard is it to bring the empty soda can out of your room when you go get another one? But hubby and I are great.

Only two minor issues. One. All mail goes on the kitchen counter right in front of the doors I frequently open and he never goes thru it. I always have to be the one to do that.

Two. The cup on the bathroom sink. He puts it ON the edge of the sink, right next to the hot water knob. I put it on the counter, further away from splashes. He moves it up. I move it back. Over and over. Every. Single. Day. For 14 years. It's such a silly thing to get annoyed about, but he refuses to change - after I started folding his socks and underwear military style and hanging all his shirts so they face to the right (notwithstanding the fact that it means he's looking at the backs because he has the right side of the closet) because that's how he thinks it should be done.

You'd think he'd move the darn glass 6 inches to the left for me..
January 8, 2014 at 12:19pm     
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lilion
Bonnie - regarding theiving cats - when my son was young I constantly found legos in closets. In the coat closet off the stairs, in the basement closet, etc. One day we saw the cat calmly walking out of his room carrying a lego knight in her mouth. Once she got to hardwood floor where it would make noise she dropped it and batted it about, until it went under a closet door.
January 8, 2014 at 12:25pm     
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Melody Campbell
omg thank you for making me feel not so alone! I have to say my biggest is annoyance is laundry. All over the house followed by "its not dirty!" Then why is it ON THE FLOOR? Right?
January 8, 2014 at 12:30pm     
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deeners1
I love my house, and my hubby is pretty good at trying to clean. The only thing is our house is so tiny we have no storage, and it is hard to stay organized because we don't have a place for everything, so that everything can go in it's place!!! we truly have to have the "when one thing comes in, another thing has to go out" rule.
January 8, 2014 at 12:32pm     
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okdokegal
You ever wonder why your grandmother or so had a lovely crocheted bathroom set to cover the toilet tank, top, and seat? And the seat cover had a HUGE 3D flower on it? Unless the lid and seat are HELD UP they fall down. Problem solved. Anyone sprinkling the decorative seat cover got one planted up their keyster so it didn't matter if they were trained or not.

My dad was trained the night I almost drowned because of him. I was preemie and a very small child until close to the time I started school (I finally caught up height wise). I'd had a few night/bathroom/housebreaking issues, and we had just moved to that fixerupper we rebuilt while I grew up... it had an older style toilet (but it never ever splashed you back) and sort of a deep bowl... and I was very very sleepy and had to go very very badly, and went in bathroom lit by a nightlight and sat down. On the porcelain as the seat was up. And fell in backwards. And wedged. And of course it had not been flushed before I sat down, and. I wedged in tightly and could NOT get ahold of anything and I was very stuck and my nose and mouth was just above the waterline. You never heard such a scream. I remember the light coming on and both of them, mom was about 3 inches ahead of dad, and I got pulled out ... calmed down, a middle of the night bath, put back to bed and the light had to be on all night for some time after that... and dad never left the seat up after that. He still didn't always flush, but the seat was put back down. I know that mom gave dad a riot act reading he probably never got in the military...

Drinking out of containers, not if you have to share. Milk isn't free, you leave that out it's justifiable homicide.

Piedmontdiva, I mentioned earlier we play that one on the 'you had X last' 'No, you had X last because you did Z with it' 'But you had it after that and you did C with it...' 'No I didn't, I did C before you did Z...' loser has to look for it. I didn't touch it, I haven't seen it in 3 months and it belongs to you....
January 8, 2014 at 3:38pm     
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maggiesmom91
Well, after reading all these posts I feel very blessed. For the most part I've learned to accept my husband for what he is. There are things that my husband does that bugs me, but I just made sure to train my boys to be aware of what they do so they could be more helpful to their wives. On the other hand, their wives are different than me and I'm sure my boys do other things that bug their wives.

Two things that still bother me....# 1....four sets of clothes hanging on the bed post.

#2....Many nights my husband works late in his home office and comes to bed long after me. I'm in my deepest sleep when the covers are jerked back and he bounces in to bed and snuggles up to me with his freezing cold legs trying to get warm after working in his chilly office. GGRRRR!

There have been times when I've seen how other husbands operate that I wished, 'if only my husband would be like that', but then I think, 'well, that husband would probably do other things that would bug me, I'd better be happy with the one I have and know and love'.
January 8, 2014 at 5:26pm     
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tiamay
I cured my husband of my pet peeve!!!
Years ago, newly wed, I discovered that he never put his dirty socks in the laundry. Just shoved them into an open crevice in the shoe rack. Anyway, for weeks and months and years I collected them and did the laundry, all the while reminding him not to do it. Nah, that didn't work.
So I started THROWING THEM AWAY in the trash. Everytime I found a pair, tossed it in the trash. One fine morning, Mister had no socks! Wore his tennis socks to work. We both went shopping that night :) but never again have I found dirty socks anywhere in the house.
No more peeves. He does everything for me. The socks were just a glitch in the system :)
January 8, 2014 at 5:46pm     
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armipeg
@tiamay I had the same issue, except for my husband would throw them on the family room floor and I, like you, collected them until one day I decided to leave them there, and it became a pile. That weekend we had guests coming over. I cleaned the house, cooked dinner, set the table, but didn't touch the socks. He came home from work and quietly picked them up and threw them in the laundry basket, since he didn't want to be embarrassed. That was the end of it LOL
January 8, 2014 at 6:27pm     
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msnai
Can someone tell me why it's sooooo hard to put the empty chip or fruit snack bag in the trash once it's, you know, empty. My nephew picked up this bad habit from his parents; but, it drives them crazy when the other does it. Maybe it's me...
January 8, 2014 at 6:32pm     
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sandougal
I just don't understand why I am the only person humanly capable of washing a dog, or who even notices when it is has become a necessary task. And second, my husband believes the ideal interior atmosphere can only be achieved by cracking the windows open and cranking up the heat...he says it so refreshing. I only think of the oil bill....
January 8, 2014 at 6:49pm     
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Landscape And Architectural Design Products PL
I agree with everyone , my wife controls the remote, refuses to put the toilet seat UP , always keeps putting things away neatly ( which drives me crazy ) , doesn't allow me to leave things lying around where ever I like ( whats the world coming too ) , she continually turns the lights off when I am in a room , she has a hidden man tool kit that I can never find to borrow from , she hides my socks and underwear who knows where ( at least i think it is her hiding them as it could not possible be meeee, no way :-) ) , she always has meals ready too early ( she knows i am always late , so how inconsiderate of her ..sheesh ) , and then she has the nerve to complain ............it sure is a woman's world ........hehe .......

That should get a few of the Houzz fence sitters posting a message here ....LOL

To summarize ..............Life is too short...don't sweat the small stuff ..... laughter is the best medicine .

Have fun good people ( hoping that everyone appreciates my Aussie sense of humour) :-)
January 8, 2014 at 7:27pm     
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okdokegal
Landscape... my better half has his office/lair/mancave room. As soon as it's put back together again ... it's all his. He leaves dishes and laundry in there, and I don't care. He got a mouse in there a while back and whined he couldn't find the garbage bags (they've been in the same place for the last five years and there was a full box in there) and he got to shovel it himself. I will go in there twice a year with the Dyson vac (17, it has an 11 amp motor-aka it dims the room light when you turn it on) and empty the canister a couple of times and take the dust down. He has dust mite allergy so when he's yelling and whining about his eyes going nova, I go clean up the dust pile he's sitting in...

As I said, we have 'his' tools, 'my' tools and 'our tools'. After some incidents we have that protocol ironed out.... When we have designated 'his bathroom' and 'my bathroom' IF I go in his and use it, yes I will put the seat back the way I found it. Again, after I get some more progress on my recently surprise whole house remodel, we'll go back to that again.

Now then... Landscape, if y'all were closer I'd come pay you a visit. And print this whole thing off, give it to your lovely better half, and toss you to the 'court of spouse' for your accused charges, arraignment, trial, conviction and sentencing... Court of Spouse is more than a court of last resort... hope y'all like your new roomies, the lawnmower and the car; out in the garage. :)

We know you're funning us...

Oh yeah, we did catch the mouse.

To whomever has the cold footed spouse... I used to be the icicle feet; as I was the last one in bed. Then it changed a few years ago and I'm half a sheet and feet hanging off under the ceiling fan and he's three blankets fluffed up. I was at least civil to keep my 'heat seeking missiles' to myself. If he didn't keep his to himself and tried to use me for a space heater when I was dead to the world; and woke me up... I would purposely get up to answer bladder alarm, go stand in the snowbank off the back step for ten and come back to bed. And steath them over there and stick them on his leg.

This works into another contention... blanket hogs and artic blast draftmakers! You know who you are. After all these decades of morning person and night person, we sorted it. Mr. Freakin Ray of Sunshine who gets up at the crack of bleary, keeps it down, and after dark, I keep the clunking to minimum!!!!!

I close and winterize all my windows every fall, and anyone trying to mine their way to artic air during heating season gets it. Heat bills are not for the faint of heart or budget.
January 8, 2014 at 8:07pm     
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Landscape And Architectural Design Products PL
okdokegal ...so to summarize using my "man filter brain".........all I read in your message is is Dysons are great , your hubby takes care of the family's pet mouse and his own tool , and you are the one with cold feet !!! Are you sure you aren't my wife in disguise mam ???? LOL
January 8, 2014 at 8:24pm     
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Landscape And Architectural Design Products PL
OOPS I mean tools ...................LOL
January 8, 2014 at 8:24pm     
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Cory
"Honey, where is the _____ "
"I don't know"
(After searching the house) "It's on the table in front of you."
January 8, 2014 at 9:08pm     
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Brandi Nash Hicks
When I come home with groceries I make everyone help put them away ,that way they know what food is in the house and they don't ask me ,mom what do we have to eat ??? After I have cooked dinner and they did not eat what I prepared
January 8, 2014 at 9:27pm     
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Brandi Nash Hicks
Also we have two dishwashers and dishes still get left in the sink ???
January 8, 2014 at 9:28pm     
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Bonnie
My next house will have separate his and her powder rooms on the first floor. Nuff said.
January 8, 2014 at 10:53pm     
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piedmontdiva
for all of you complaining of the toilet seat up, I have four magic words for you: soft-closing toilet seat. It won't stay open most of the time, so they have to keep one hand on the seat to keep it up while doing their business, and it will close on its own. And if it does magically stay up, you can just flick it down with one finger and it doesn't slam down. My pet peeve about the toilet seat up is that I have to touch the underside of the icky seat (and look at it), so this has been a life-saver!
January 9, 2014 at 12:26am     
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okdokegal
Landscape, if I was your missus you'd know it.

I no longer have cold feet. He has the icicles.
We no longer have a pet mouse. Which was his to start with.
Don't ask about the Great Hamster Interlude which he started and I ended.

If you were my better half, *you'd* be the one doing this remodel. Monday the electrician comes, then I can get down to that unlovely word: drywall.

Nearly three decades of dubious and worn out upright vacuum cleaners 'all it needs is a new belt' and they still wouldn't work. (latching onto the one his nephew threw out because it didn't work doesn't mean it will magically suddenly start working). We put three belts on the last one and none of them did any good. I finally put my foot down and bought the Dyson and Removed The Cord and a few other selected parts off the last four uprights (all acquired as curb finds and none of them resurrected) and sent them to the landfill by selected dumpster feeding and refused to say where they went to last rites. 'but I wanted the motor off that one... and this off that one, and that off the other one...' (and none of them were the same brand or model and no resplicing them into something that worked). My Dyson is lovely. It was selected for suction and motor size; and it does suck. Which is usually good if it's a vacuum cleaner. I also bought a small ball shopvac, it's like a gallon; IF he wants to suck up crapola he can use that one.

It is a true delight to have a vacuum that actually picks up the crud... the last one the piece of lint lying on the carpet didn't even have to worry about being sucked in, gummed, and spit back out with the last vacuum; it could lie there in all it's splendor. So that's a bone of contention---solved.
January 9, 2014 at 4:40am     
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conniedial
Hey, Landscape And Architectural Design Products PL. guy....If that wife of yours ever gives u the heave ho...and why would she with that aussie sense of humor?....I have a single daughter that I would LOVE to introduce you to ;))) You made my giggle bone work this morning!! Tks,
January 9, 2014 at 7:06am     
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Landscape And Architectural Design Products PL
Conniedial. ...laughter truly is the best medicine in life , and does your daughter know that you are shopping online for her ? LOL
January 9, 2014 at 7:36am     
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conniedial
Ha:) No, but I think she would welcome it...she says so far I have not liked any of her "men"...and she pretty much is right :)) You have some awesome work in those pics...along with a great sense of humor...BooYah to you!!
January 9, 2014 at 7:42am   
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Christine
I hate mopping the floor and then a few hours later see suspiciosly sticky juice droplets all over the floor from my kid who wont stop topping off his cups or when hubby makes potato pancakes and I see skin peels all over the floor. Or when I go to use the facilities and sit in something wet (Heck if I gotta wipe before I get up then they should too. Not just shake their junk). Or the dish pile up. Or when I am cooking and all of a sudden my penny section decides to dictate what spice to use and "chorizo instead of chicken mom". Or someone who uses my juicer (I am the only one juicing) and then leaves it for me to take apart and clean. Or I do the laundry and then hear complaints when people want to know where their clothes are. (IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM GENTLEMEN!). Or when I tell the menfolk to turn socks, underwear, shirts & pants right side out to make folding for me easier,... and they don't. In reality I have gotten the best revenge in this area. I take them out as is and in most instance they are damp and I fold them up just as they are. Nothing like hearing them complain when their man bits hit a damp crotch. Anyway the list goes on and on and on.... HEY LET'S ALL GO ON STRIKE AND POST THE STRIKE RESPONSE ON HOUZZ :)
January 9, 2014 at 7:50am     
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Always Nesting
Love reading these funny and not-so-funny responses! I have found myself ignoring all the annoying things that make my hubby tick. Why? Life changed. He became my primary care giver during surgeries and cancer treatments and his devotion to me never wavered during my bad and ugly.
January 9, 2014 at 8:31am     
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tiamay
@Christine ------ my mom went on strike once! A long time ago and once was all it took. This was after I'd left and my brother was still at home. He made the mistake of commenting to mom, "so what do you do around here anyway?" Oh boy, I'm surprised she let him live.

Anyhoo, she did not say a word, and from the next morning on, she just puttered around, did her own thing and nothing else. Took a day for dad and bro to notice there was something wrong. Day two, they were tiptoeing around the house. Day three, they were in the trenches, washing, wiping, cleaning. After a couple more days of this, they both apologized and now everyone pulls their weight.
January 9, 2014 at 9:50am     
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mommickey
Same as most dishes, wash, al the little thinsg I pick up everyday shoes. etc. At night when we go to bed I hang my bra on his knob of his burea he hates it. Well welcome to my world you leave your shoes socks, work pants with belt in on the floor everyday for me to pick up. So you hate the bra in your way how's it feel. I really started hanging it there in case of an emergency and I need to grab it and get out of the house in pjs. I would want it to put on under my pjs.
I really want a go pro. So I can go around and have them go through my day with me and see how much of it is wasted picking up after all of them and how sick of it I am. They would probably laugh at it and it would still not change. No sense in complaining about it. It will never change. I now just do what I can and my six year old picks up his stuff. The living room and dining room are not to bad cause I have it all organized and minimal. The dishes and wash and clothes. I had the 17 year old do the floor on his hands and knees when my ms was acting up. He was like wow its not easy. Now he will help with the floors. They bought me a new steam mop. He likes to play with it so he will steam the floor.
I may pack up the dishes or et every last one get dirty maybe that will solve the dish issues. They laugh at me when I am mad they say I am funny when I am mad. I feel a vacation with my six year old all by myself coming on. See if that's funny. I love the empty juice container on the counter when the trash is right next to it. The tools are the worse part they are heavy and the garage is cold. He never puts them away after he does a project. I may just use every bra I own and bungee his buera closed with them. There's no contention I just do it all. There's no fighting or complaining. I'd be wasting my time and stressing myself out. I am goig to figure out what they don't like and do it to them. Thanks for the ideas.
January 9, 2014 at 12:13pm     
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mommickey
Luciana, My mom would throw all of our jackets. We didn't hang up down the basement steps when you didn't hang it up. You would hang it up so you didn't need to walk down the steps. You may want to try that. Toothpaste in the sink, toilet up etc. Those I can deal with its the hours a day I spend cleaning up shoes coats dishes etc. My very nice sewing scissors are hidden under my sewing machine cover they will never use my machine so they will never find them.
January 9, 2014 at 12:34pm     
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Judy
I live alone so everything is generally exactly how I want it but 1 thing my daughter and her family do when they come over drives me nuts. When they are done in the bathroom they close the door behind them and I can't stand closed off rooms that are empty it actually gives me a panic attack to see the door closed. And in the kitchen if they open a cabinet or drawer they leave it open and that drives me crazy too. It's good that I live alone...
January 9, 2014 at 1:52pm   
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Sharon
Hubby & son are both pretty good around the house. When I've reached my limits, I just turn off the TV/Wii/whatever and tell them if they want dinner, it's time to all muck in and do some chores. Then we'll turn up the music & get busy straightening the house. They usually end up having a sock fight or Nerf gun war at the end and that's just fine with me. Our 8 year old son loves to help clean the shower etc so that's a BLESSING!
January 9, 2014 at 6:50pm     
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whitehousewoman
My husband brings the mail in the front door, walks promptly to the kitchen and drops the mail and junk mail on the kitchen island. He opens it all and looks at it all and then walks away. It is left for me to deal with. If he would just bring it in and leave it unopened this wouldn't drive me nuts, but I end up dealing with a lot of pure junk...trash to dispose of. But, his in home office is about 4 steps from the island where the bills and professional magazines,etc. lay until I clear it away. He could at least put these items where they belong until HE could deal with them.
January 9, 2014 at 9:11pm     
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rezchick1
All of the above, my tools not put back, using my good scissors to cut wire, undies on floor next to hamper, leaving cubbards open, not cleaning counter when doing dishes or cooking, etc . But the absoute worst is hubby misplacing something and "you must have done something with it" then finds it in a pocket, etc. Oh, why have I suffered for 31 years?? I will be right back after starting the paperwork on the divorce......
January 9, 2014 at 9:35pm     
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rezchick1
@ Always Nesting, you are right those are the important qualities...divorce is off.
January 9, 2014 at 9:41pm     
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mmers
My husband is loathe to get rid of most things - I, on the other hand, get rid of too much - definitely it's caused some issues......
January 9, 2014 at 9:48pm     
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SoCal Contractor
I'm a man, that's a pretty good source of contention....
January 9, 2014 at 10:05pm     
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okdokegal
That's okay SoCal, we like ya anyways. I used to be a lot worse until I lost the estrogen. :) I will freely admit to chocolate being the fifth food group and the only reason I haven't committed homicide yet (a good self-medicating with chocolate)

Just close it if you opened, turn it off if you turned it on; put the seat down, admit to sprinkling if you DID and wipe up; put the dirty clothes IN the hamper and tools are sacred.

I'm wishing you were closer and I won the lotto so I could afford to hire you.

I do hope you don't have tool issues... that's a bummer when they're part of your day job. For most of us ladies that means defending our good scissors; for most fellows, that means things like hammers, screwdrivers....

I don't know how many #2 Phillips are on the loose around here, I have yet to find 'critical mass' (which means one will be around when you need it). Then there's the butterfly clutch driver; some older vehicles and this modular were put together with these screws with a sort of bowtie indent; the bits are very expensive and any time I have to take some original screws out of here I do so and replace with #2 Phillips... those drivers take forever to order one in and disappear faster than a pair of good scissors with a hubby and three kids under 10 under the same roof.
January 9, 2014 at 10:39pm     
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Landscape And Architectural Design Products PL
SoCal .......Tip toe mate and they may not hear or see you going past.......phew !!!
January 9, 2014 at 10:42pm     
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farndale
No-one appears to be capable of closing a draw completely. I mean.. for goodness sake... would it take more than an nano second to push the draw until it was closed and not an inch or two from it?
January 9, 2014 at 11:07pm     
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Sharon
I do believe much angst could be avoided with self closing drawers, soft closing toilet seats and self returning scissors!!!
January 10, 2014 at 1:51am     
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okdokegal
Sharon, if you can bring a self-returning scissors to market you will be the first trillionaire (USD) on earth.
January 10, 2014 at 4:01am   
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tiffanyzeszutek
My garbage can is right beside the counter... I don't know if it's the whole trash into the trash can concept or if the plastic lid is waaaay too heavy to lift but everyone in my house sits the trash on the counter (8 inches above the trash can... I measured!) instead of actually in the trash can!!! Urgh!
January 10, 2014 at 6:55am     
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kgrad
"Stuff" is the biggest bone of contention in my house - ranging from kids toys from well meaning relatives, to my craft projects that never get fully done to our ever growing pile of shoes. I am awful - I pile my papers/mail/kids art/catalogs and then when people come over, I put them in a bag and in a closet...I'm up to three bags of stuff I need to file, frame, properly store or take action on. My husband's bone of contention is that I'm always trying a new organizing system and he can never find something...guilty :)
January 10, 2014 at 7:42am     
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okdokegal
kgradovan, let HIM do the system, and YOU can bug him on where stuff is. :)
January 10, 2014 at 10:29am     
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kgrad
Haha - okdokegal, his system would be like whitehousewoman's hubby and my counters would be full of opened mail, discarded envelopes and nothing would be thrown out and he's OK with that. His small dining table when he was a bachelor was at least 2 inches high of mail! He pays bills instantly and the rest doesn't matter.
January 10, 2014 at 11:23am     
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mommickey
In my husband's defense: I must say hubby is good with getting rid of mail. We both weed it down at the door. He will clean up the sink if he finds the kids have dumped stuff but he will dump at times also. Look around here there is so many dishes we all hate doing them and we all just do it when we see there is a full sink five times a day. there are time she wil clean up the house without asking. He will vaccum, do dishes, fold wash and yes even clean toilets. So will the 17 year old boy. They don't do it ever day but if mom is not feeling well sometimes I need to ask and sometimes they see it and do it on their own. Really there is no contention. I never thought i would want a maid but after all these years a maid for a few months just for a break from it all would be lovely. Thank god I have self closing cabinets and doors. One I took the microwave door to the head. Good thing hubby insisted on the self closers.
January 10, 2014 at 4:30pm   
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reesip
I woke up Christmas
morning to a big giant pinball machine in my living room that still didn't make it down to our basement. This only the tip of the iceberg with my husband's shenanigans.
January 10, 2014 at 5:59pm     
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okdokegal
As a smaller kid *I* was the one that bought my dad the huge slot car set, which took a few solid hours to put up and after mom got tired of walking over it/through it, a whole day to take down... it got put up about five times and actually used for a few days each time.

Reeslip, those things have a detachable tall back piece.... take the face glass off first and that is easily broken so be careful; then the base part should have a frame it sets into, and that has the legs. It apparently came into the house in pieces, it can come apart into the pieces, and it can get moved once it is in pieces. Take pictures as you take it apart, put the bits into baggies and tape baggies to the area the bits came from, and recruit friends to help you lug it after disassembly.
January 10, 2014 at 6:16pm     
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cljakl
OMG, I almost wet myself laughing!! So many of you are very talented writers. I can relate to many of the pet peeves....especially the door being left open for the flies and mosquitoes!
January 10, 2014 at 9:39pm     
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okdokegal
Mosquitos... they think I'm "smorgasblood" and if there is one in the building she will have me for lunch. Want to know if there are mosquitos around? Invite me over.

I can deal with mosquitos. Kamikaze insane flies, however, no. Noseeums, there is a microscoping biting gnattie that likes blackbirds... where I grew up was a waterway preserve and we would get flocks of 1-5 million blackbirds in migration along there (some had red on them, some had yellow, anyways) and the farmers decided to try growing oil sunflowers as a cash crop. Other than I swear those would mature after the snow flew and they'd have to use snow shovels to get the crop off.. blackbirds LOVE eating the seeds off the heads. And being this fly way bit, the farmers weren't allowed to kill them, just build boom cannons (which worked for about an hour then they got used to them) or hire small helicopters to chase them out of the field. Well they'd go land in another one. Those were the healthiest best fed blackbirds. Anyways big clouds of these very tiny gnatties would show up, and they could go right through your screens without pausing, and their bites itched terribly. They could not get through women's nylons, that's how fine a mesh you needed.

Compared to flies, those are at the top. But. My hubby will learn to open door, move through door, and close door. I will take sticking to the toilet seat in the middle of the night if that's what it takes. I had actually put a hanging curtain of fine mesh tulle over my office/sewing room doorway so that if he lets a fly in I can escape in peace to somewhere... needing screen doors INSIDE the house, yes that's bad.
January 10, 2014 at 10:57pm     
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Jean Stryker
Apparently, leaving things open/up/on/out/all over the place is a y chromosome linked trait. Unfortunately, my husband did not inherit the "fix it" gene. The man can't swing a hammer. Or wash his hands properly. Dirty finger prints all over the place. He's a sweetie pie, though.
January 11, 2014 at 6:11am     
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Vicki Bauer
In one word: CHANGE. My husband says he hates change. I thrive on it. Something as simple as changing the color of the foyer if a problem. The foyer is chalkboard green. I'm sick of it! My husband's reply is "it's fine, I like it." My solution is to just go buy the paint and do it knowing that the whole time I'm working he will be complaining and saying "you don't listen to me!" Duh! If I listened to him and heeded his ideas, nothing would be done. No change is made around here until it breaks! We are in our 70s. Am I married to an "old dog"?
January 11, 2014 at 2:41pm     
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maryrw
Husband used my good silverware (William Sonoma) knife as a screwdriver to put some nail into a cabinet. I was like are you using my good silver ?? Unbeleivable. Here's another one that gets me. I come home from work and my son who is 13 has his dirty socks under the dining table, coat thrown on the couch. Same thing every day. Boys are slobs !
January 11, 2014 at 5:03pm     
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Rider66
Today I decided to paint the inside of my front door black. Hubby came home and saw it with one coat of paint and thought I had put sawdust in it. I just told him that it was the new trend and that he'd get used to it. He said I was going to have to quit reading those decorating magazines. BTW, I love the black with my beige woodwork.
January 11, 2014 at 5:12pm     
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armipeg
@maryrw, usually hubbies won't change but as a mother of 2 boys, I have managed to change SOME of their bad habits by throwing their stuff in the recycling bin...not the trash bin, but the recycling bin. First it stays clean and they can take it out to use it again and second I tell them "I threw it in the recycling cuz someone else can take it out and use it." and they believed me. So most of the throwing around of stuff issues have been solved.
January 11, 2014 at 11:36pm     
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victorianbungalowranch
I really hate it when I'm sick and no one does hardly any laundry, shopping, cooking, swishing the toilet, dish washing etc, despite requests and promises to do so... and I'm either struggling to do it without getting sicker or end up with a huge mess to clean up when I'm finally feeling better.
January 12, 2014 at 12:55am     
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joy5390
Ah, yes. We women do have a lot in common! I, too, have all these trials and tribulations, but what the heck! In the long run my family is ALWAYS there for me, if need be. The problem is ME! Too darn independent, can't seem to ask for help, just let me do it. Then I wonder why people aren't cooperating! Can't they see all the extra work they put me through? LOL
January 12, 2014 at 7:15am     
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Vicki Bauer
@victorianbungalowranch Didn't anyone warn you that wives/mothers don't have time to be sick? On a more personal note, I don't know exactly what you mean by "sick." There have been few times in my life that I've been sick enough to be told by a doctor that I need bedrest. I find that when I don't feel well, I'd rather stay busy and try to ignore how I feel. I might not move as fast, I might take lots of breaks, but I try to push forward. Sometimes I'll at least get the laundry in the washing machine but not into the dryer. ;-) I'll put the dishes in the dishwasher but not unload it. I'll thaw something for dinner or put something simple in the crockpot. I won't dust or mop or shop or even swish a toilet. I'll simply do what I can to stay on my feet and move about the house. When I'm sick, it's usually upper respiratory, so a hot shower is always necessary.

Hope that helps a little. You also might want to make some "honey do" lists for each member of the family. Everyone needs to pitch in around the house even when you're not sick. Maybe they need to do their own laundry, fold, and put away. Swishing toilets and washing dishes can be on rotation. You cook, they clean up. Make a short grocery list and ask hubby to stop by the market on his way home from work. Don't forget to show appreciation. I know. I know. When I cook, my husband never thanks me, but when he cooks, I always thank him. Doesn't seem fair but sometimes you gotta play the game to get what you want. ;-)
January 12, 2014 at 7:25am     
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sandpat
But have you noticed that when hubs does do things like empty the trash, he does it, comes back and acts like he just climbed Mt McKinley! LOL! Gotta love them, its illegal to shoot them!
January 12, 2014 at 5:55pm     
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okdokegal
sandpat, I cured mine of that. He takes the trash out, and if I have to crawl under a vehicle while it decides to start snowing and replace a starter... which he used to be able to do... and no fanfare other than rights of first pass at the FastOrange and a shower, and I take the trash out quietly, stunning it and heaving it into the dumpster... he's not going to get any fanfare for lugging a bag. A hubby brownie point but that's it.

I am still getting mileage out of December 2012 when I had to crawl under into the crawlspace with all the nasty spiders, and spend FOUR hours replacing the flexible ductwork and installing wire caging around it... else our yardcats crawl up on top and collapse it when it gets cold out. I barely fit into some of those places; yes I have claustro issues (me getting totally underneath there is a major victory in itself) and I couldn't stop until I finished that, and I crawled under and back of a fully grown brown widow female before I seen her, found something to squish her that fit in the channel iron she was crouched in, and commenced last rites for her, then finished the job.... I got an extra brownie point for finding the socket he lost under there two years before that.

Seat up or down issues will become moot soon; I took out the linen closet in the master bath when I demolished it; and left stubins for a urinal; and did the tile already when I did the shower and the floor. Once that is in ALL seats must be left in the down position in the house. I have threatened to take his sneakers and use the soles for templates for nonslip tub grip material and make him footprints so he can line up.

Best way to bury a bone of contention is to either retrain them or make it impossible to repeat it without it being so difficult that they will never be able to explain why.
January 12, 2014 at 10:05pm     
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justaperson
My List:

There are no cups in the cabinet because 'someone' leaves them all over the house.

I am building a longer table. We have cabinets and drawers. There is a bookcase by the table just for your use, but that flat surface is so tantalizing, isn't it? You need easy access to your mail, your catalogs, your stash of candy the kids got you for Christmas two years ago (that you still insist is edible). You need your scissors, your screwdriver, your camping knife, and your letter opener, etc. Sometimes, I think that maybe I should get you a GPS, so that you could locate the bookshelf, the cabinet, and the two drawers in the entertainment center solely dedicated to your collection of batteries and bolts and tool assortment. With a longer table you could have your half and we could even sit comfortably at dinner and actually put serving dishes in the middle of it. Heck, we might be able to seat 4 people at the table when friends come over. And I would cover your end of it with a crocheted cloth. How about blue?

I am not attached to your tool catalogs from 2000 - 200? and I dumped them.... sorry. You may use the one from 2010 which I haven't disposed of. Or use the new one dated 2014. It might contain new tools.

You built large barn/garage, and several tool sheds. There are even two very deep drawers for you inside the house. Why are tools laying on every flat surface in the house (they do not match the cups)?

You wanted a sofa and a love seat. We got it because you wanted them. I hate them. No one wants to sit on them, either. They are too hard, but at least they will last the rest of our lives! By the way, the kids don't like them either.

Actually, if anyone did want to sit on the love seat they couldn't because it holds your shirts, jackets, and camping stuff.

I know this is partially my fault. When we built the house (yes readers, we built it by ourselves) I should have put my foot down and insisted on closets in 2005, rather than thinking we could build them later.

My tall 4 foot giraffe is not really a hat holder. (Though I will admit he looks good in your green ball cap.)

Of course I have my faults too. I could tape and mud the sheet-rock. Even if it were not done properly I could at least paint it. I am thinking of peach for the living room. With enough paint it may cover up my mistakes.

I could take all these pictures I have saved from Houzz and begin to put these examples in the house myself. My excuse...I am afraid of your table saw.

And to my husband, I do love you. I am not going to change you, I know that. We may have changed 'us' 45 years ago, but now, perhaps it is too late? But, you have given me things to do. It keeps me fit. So thank you.

And you tell me I am good woman. I really can't ask for more.
January 14, 2014 at 2:20pm     
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Jack Arnott
You had me right until the very end. A house is for living, not looking at. And that includes wearing shoes in it.
January 14, 2014 at 6:37pm     
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Mary Miller
All of these ideas save time, money, and energy that could be more uselessly and creatively employed. To be wasteful and inconsiderate is just a sign of a weak character. We claim "busy" all the time...but, in fact, not so much, just disorganized. It takes seconds to "do the right thing." These are not little tasks, they are life lessons. The most wonderful home maker I ever knew is my Aunt who is 92. Her home is welcoming, clean, efficient. By 10 AM, she is ready for company, creating a beautiful meal, working on a project, reading or discussing a book. She is always learning, growing....lesson learned, live in relatively organized setting and get on with the ART of LIVING!
January 15, 2014 at 3:05am     
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janbhan
My biggest peeve is going to someone's house, and wading through a puddle of shoes outside the front door (I saw that photo!) because they don't want shoes inside. Well, ok, but can't we have a nice tidy outdoor shoe rack? I have one outside MY front door! To be honest, except when it rains, I am ok with shoes in the house. Then I don't want them tracking all over the carpets. But I think most people respect that. In the monsoon I also put a small bucket for wet umbrellas. So far nothing has been stolen!
January 15, 2014 at 5:12am   
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raineymac
I think you've been living in my house!! You managed to cover every "hot" issue for me so I'll forward this to my husband of 46 years & hope that he finally understands the value running an efficient household the same way as running an efficient company.
January 15, 2014 at 5:14am   
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hidesertkath
Not being able to find anything! I was at the grocery store over the holidays and called home to ask if we had fettuccine in the cupboard on the second shelf to the left of the stove. My husband told me "nope, no fettuccine." My step-daughter (who was visiting) called me back immediately and said there were three packages on the left side of the second shelf, her dad had only opened the right-hand door and hadn't seen them! Sigh
January 15, 2014 at 5:21am     
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H Lollar
I deal with most of this stuff that is mentioned from my boys, not my hubby. He's trained well. Which gives me hope for my boys. They DO train, if you catch it early. ;) The only thing that my hubby does is leave his leftover lunch dishes from the day before on the counter or in the sink EVERY day for me to clean. He cleans his bag out in the morning, so he's rushed to leave for work. I just need him to clean the bag out in the evening and all will be well.
January 15, 2014 at 5:57am     
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etra77
You're missing a trick if you talk to your partner that way. If someone kept nagging me in that tone of voice using that kind of sarcasm and those unpleasant words they'd be history.
January 15, 2014 at 6:09am   
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Kim Callaghan Brandon
I have been married to my second husband for one year. We lived together for a few years before getting married. Since getting married, I have noticed my tolerance for his wearing blinders as he exist in our space. My one pet peeve is with the dishwasher, about 50% of the time I can get him to put dishes in it (and he complains about my son not putting his dirty dishes into the dishwasher) but 100% of the time, he will look in it and ask if they are dirty or clean. I have explained to him countless times that the little light on the front that says clean will stay on with clean dishes inside until someone empties the dishwasher. But the part that kills me is if I answer the dishes in the dishwasher are clean, he just closes the door and put his dirty dishes on the counter and walks away. REALLY, am I the offical dishwasher emptier, granted by the queen to be the overlord of the majestic dishwasher?
The dirty close on the floor, beside the laundry hamper has been another issue for me, but I don't dwell on it as much since my first husband was guilty of it as well. I have moved the hamper to be in his landing spot a million times but the pile of clothes still end up on the floor beside the hamper or worse on top of the dresser.
January 15, 2014 at 6:21am     
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strawberry Frog
I started feeling better that I was not alone. I continued to read and NO ONE mentioned that their husband flosses his teeth in their personal car. I know it happens because he places his dirty floss in the door pocket on the drivers side that I use for gum wrappers and used wipes. I pick up the floss in my hand when I clean it out.
January 15, 2014 at 6:24am     
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kenda_61
For the one who wear a hat or cap don't put it any where and then get to the next one I have pile to collect around the house, it's not a decoration
January 15, 2014 at 6:52am   
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janbhan
Dear Kim - Second husbands have generally been trained (or not) by somebody else. My second husband is ex-army. Before he joined the army his mother picked up, after that his batman, and possibly his late wife. Old habits die hard, especially when you are seventy! However, with a lot of love, some tolerance and occasional reminders he has improved. After ten years of being a widow it was wonderful to find a congenial companion, and I am prepared to overlook not being able to find my favourite egg whisk, or seeing his shoes behind the front door instead of in the shoe rack. Yes, he takes his shoes off in the house! (Don't ask where he puts his underwear though.) He loads the washing machine, the dishwasher, and sets and clears the table... who cares if it's haphazard. It probably wouldn't matter much if laundry soap went into the dishwasher, but dishwasher soap in the washing machine might be a disaster. Fortunately he asks, and anyway we now have the boxes clearly labeled. So no disasters, just a lot of laughter. And yes, we married a year ago, after living together for five years.
January 15, 2014 at 6:53am     
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tdself
Ok....I have to tell on myself a little here....I am terrible about leaving clothes on the bathroom floor, not putting a bag after I (yes me) take out the trash, and I never rinse my dishes off. The other side to that is....HE NEVER CLEANS UP AFTER ME! Here are some of my biggest peeves: the dirty clothes, not just on the floor but everywhere! Why he takes his clothes off in the second living room (next to the laundry room) is beyond me! We use to live in a small house and he was a lot better at getting it at least to the bedroom but now that he has to go upstairs....not gonna happen :-/.
Something else... he cannot manage to flush the dang toilet!! And, of course, he HAS to use the downstairs toilet which is our guest one! He uses not just the toilet but he thinks he needs his own freaking bathroom!! I told him that if he was going to use that bathroom as "his" then he was going to be responsible for cleaning it. Its the one company uses for goodness sakes! You all can imagine how often that happens LOL
January 15, 2014 at 6:58am     
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bijou122
Okay, here I go...I have black granite counters in my kitchen and they are almost impossible to keep dust free as I live in the desert! I clean them in the am and when the sun starts to go down, and is shining brightly into my kitchen, it looks as if no one has done anything in a week! I clean them again! Anyhoo, my significant other does not clean them and if he attempts to, it's 10k worse. He rattles around in the kitchen from time to time and can't just use one counter top, he goes from one to the other to the other, etc. Can't you just use one and make one mess?????? lol
January 15, 2014 at 7:07am     
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bodhi3
Love this! How about grabbing the orange juice carton from the fridge and taking a swig and putting it back in! My advice, live alone, have a sexy boyfriend/girlfriend and travel! It's easier to deal with these things when in an exciting destination!
January 15, 2014 at 7:08am     
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timmermom
Wednesday is trash pick-up day. Do you think my husband could be bothered to empty all the bathrooms, laundry room & office on Tuesday night? Oh no...that would be soooooo much trouble, lets do it on our way out to work Wednesday morning. While I'm at it, since this happened this morning, it irritates the heck out of me that he shaves in the living room...that's great, so his whiskers from his electric razor can float all over the place...thank you dear! Worse yet, he decided this morning to simply park his razor in the coffee table drawer in the living room, how convenient! Trust me, I caught him in the act and he got off his bootie and put it in the bathroom!!
January 15, 2014 at 7:09am     
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Lisa Rajack-Seels
Mine is having to go around and tidy up and put away constantly. If I don't do it nobody will. I can't physically do the hoovering for medical reasons so my husband has to do it, if I don't nag him to do it it will never get done. He seems to think dust is invisible. Closing cupboards and drawers is another gripe, you opened it, can't you shut it after?!
January 15, 2014 at 7:33am     
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elevenarrows13
OK, OK! I get what everyone is complaining about, but I feel I must say something in defense of spouses! Why do women feel the need to turn their husbands into girlfriends?! My husband is NOT neat and I am a hyper-organized person. Literally, people tease me about being such a neat-freak. However, the same thing that makes your husband oblivious to where he leaves his dirty socks and how high the pile of dirty dishes is getting...is the same thing that helps him be able to crawl under the house on his belly in the dead of winter to repair something. It is the same thing that makes him willing to bail buckets of poo out of the septic tank when their is a blizzard and the septic tank company won't do a trouble call until the ice melts. The boorish part of your man that drives you nuts in daily ways is the same thing that makes him ready to plow over the intruder or chase down the loser that just stole your purse.

Ladies, men are different...and isn't that why we marry them??? I'll take my boorish, sloppy, sometimes inconsiderate about the finer things in life hubby any day over a wimpy man that has been trained to behave exactly like a woman. Don't get me wrong, I have 8 sons (yes, you read that right...and 3 daughters) and I have taught them all to treat a lady with honor, to take shoes off before coming in the house (we live on a farm with all its inherent mess), to not burp at the table, etc. Manners are blessings. Good manners show you respect the other person. But honestly, this gripe session has accomplished nothing but to make people discontented with the person they CHOSE to live with...pick up their dirty socks, make a joke about it and then kiss that man and be thankful he is alive and well enough to have dirty socks!
January 15, 2014 at 7:36am     
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elevenarrows13
Sorry for typo on "their" should read "there"
January 15, 2014 at 7:37am     
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wisneb
Wow, it would have to be wall to wall carpeting. We have a house in a development and they are all almost identical. We plan to sell when we retire, so we're not dumping a whole bunch of money at this point in our lives. The neighborhood doesn't command hardwood; we'd never get our money out of it. We do have cats, so you know the cat hair thing! I despise wall to wall carpeting. Maybe we can get laminates in the living room, just for the look of a nice continuous appearance on main floor. Having a tri-level and a finished basement when there are two of us is a lot of work. We have to choose what we want to focus on. Personally, we like a nice backyard and want to put a window or two in the family room off the garage. So, carpeting ... dislike it!

Bone of contention: when he sneaks over to the coat closet wearing his shoes or goes through the garage up to the kitchen with grocery bags, still wearing shoes. Cleaning carpeting is no fun and I end up doing it. At least he unloads the dishwasher for me and cooks once in a while :)
January 15, 2014 at 7:37am     
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jbmummy
My main gripe - STANDING UP TO GO TO THE TOILET!!! Yes, it is very convenient/normal/quick etc but who cleans the pan/wall tiles/floor around it? Now of course, my son has started it and the aim is correct about 30% of the time...
YUCK!
January 15, 2014 at 7:52am     
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H Lollar
Elevenarrows- agreed. I am also a neat freak. Couldn't imagine what my hubby would write in reference to my obsessive cleaning. Thank God he loves me enough to put up with it!
January 15, 2014 at 8:18am     
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pammk
When my wonderful husband (I mean it, he's wonderful!) uses ANY tools, supplies, etc, they usually sit in one spot that is toward where they are stored, and are not put away. Sometimes they end up on the kitchen table, beside the back door to go to the garage, where the inside of the garage walk-in door has a semi-circle around it of boxes with paint brushes, small cans of paint or LARGE cans of paint with about 1/4 cup left in them, tools from the tool box I got him for Christmas, etc. A path is then formed where he tries to get past these items to get out other items to use, then not put away! I love him, appreciate all the odd jobs he does around the house...but really? We can't go 5 more feet and get that stuff put back? Help!
January 15, 2014 at 8:20am     
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elevenarrows13
pammk, your use of the pronoun "we" is incorrect. YOU can go 5 more feet and put the stuff away. He, obviously, isn't that bothered by it. I pick up constantly after my husband. It is one, inexpensive, sacrificial way I can show my love for him. Try it the next time you want to strangle him and I promise you, he will love you for it...and you know what? You will be happier to have chosen the better path.
January 15, 2014 at 9:03am     
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elevenarrows13
H lollar, I completely agree with you! My husband jokingly refers to my neatness as a disease. We each cause challenges for the other, but the better path is when we both choose to love each other and accept whatever the other seems unable to change. Life is too short for people to be upset over toilet seats left up!
January 15, 2014 at 9:05am     
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bcason
Please please please - rinse your toothbrush well! Our beautifully remodeled bathroom, with charcoal soapstone counters, doesn't look quite as beautiful with BOTH an electric and manual toothbrush drying there - on YOUR side, dear. The electric generates a puddle of white, non rinsed off toothpaste-y water, and the manual leaves actual toothpaste. SOMEONE was too lazy to rinse off either thoroughly. And then, there's the issue of not even noticing that that is happening. Darling, can't you see that someone is running behind you with a wet rag? Sigh….. perhaps I should have stuck with the 25 year old white tile and dirty grout…. At least the toothpaste wouldn't have shown….. And I won't get into why it is necessary to fill the sink with water when you shave, then leave a scummy ring and shaving stubs when you open the drain.
January 15, 2014 at 9:06am     
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kshell1502
I'm not anal!! I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!!! But seriously, these are all issues I have with my kids - and they're "adults!" I refuse to "raise" a husband. That was his mother's job. I've had to have lessons and demonstrations on "how to flush the toilet" ( simply depress this lever, and everything disappears!), "how to tell when the trash is full and needs to be emptied."( (If you can't get another THING in there, simply pull those handy ties and physically carry it to the big can in the garage. Opening the door and closing your eyes as you toss in that general direction doesn't count. Forget to replace the bag? YOU get to clean the trash can. NO, the floor is not an option!)
If you dump your wet towel on the floor, don't even THINK you're gonna come in and snitch from my bathroom, where the towels are clean, dry, and folded! Throwing laundry in the general direction of the hamper DOES NOT COUNT! It will not be washed. And bringing in 1 roll of TP from the garage??? Seriously??? Is it that much more effort to bring in the entire package??
If you can't find anything in your room because you've dumped it all on the floor, perhaps I should offer you a map and a compass!!
And the sink is sooooo far from the dishwasher - like right next to it!! Simply open the door and insert said dish. God forbid you open the door to see if dishes are clean or dirty. And couldja maybe make sure that glass/plate/spoon got clean before you put it away?? I guaran-damn-tee you'll notice it when you go to use it!!! And here's a hint: If it sits in your room long enough to grow mold, IT AIN'T GETTING CLEAN WITHOUT A GOOD SOAK AND PROBABLY BLEACH!!! And are you saving those empty containers for posterity?? If you eat the last, keep the container & don't write on the shopping list, more won't magically appear.
And why is it that men/kids can never find anything unless it's right in front of their faces?? Unless of course, it's my secret stash - then they hone in like radar!! HINT: put it in the vegetable bin - they'll never go in there! LOL.
I've got a sign in my laundry room - "By the Time Your Kids are Fit to Live With, They're Living With Somebody Else"
January 15, 2014 at 9:15am     
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Yvonne Hiemstra
When opening a box of crackers or other similar item, have some patience and FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS! A box opened by ripping the top open and essentially destroying it cannot be re-closed properly and the contents will go stale very quickly. Why be so impatient?
January 15, 2014 at 9:23am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
kshell1502: Lol.
January 15, 2014 at 9:23am     
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vilmasinsalsa
I have three male children. As boys I never raised the toilet seat when I taught them to use it. When they got older some times they would forget so I made them clean the toilet every time. That helped stop the lifting. My husband I had to teach as well. To this day after thirty two years of marriage he still sits down to do his business and same with my sons. They too were taught to remove their shoes to come into the house. Forgetting meant vacuuming on the spot. No fighting about it just doing what i would need to do if they forgot.
January 15, 2014 at 9:47am   
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strawberry Frog
Still have not read all of the amazingly idiotic antics I live with. My husband consumes a bottle of A-1 or bbq sauce (among other items) as if they are a meal, not an ingredient. When his hands are full of the "ingredient" he grabs the top of a paper towel roll... with dirty hands... leaving the goo on top of the roll so everyone after him has the pleasure of touching and re-using his dirty paper towel. Men and women are different? Ever seen the series about hoarders? One person got really tired of the disrespect and doing it all. Everyone should know how to take care of themselves and their spaces. All of the above issues are signs of disrespect to themselves, the people or person they live with and their home. He also worked hard to have the cloths, the towels, nice floors, the car and the paper towel he mindlessly desecrates. They should act like a man and show some self respect and pride of ownership. Really...I don't buy that they are any different in their careers. Guy code and upper body strength keeps them at the top of the food chain at work. Raising our sons ( and daughters)with self respect will make them a happier more successful adults.
January 15, 2014 at 9:55am     
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symea
thank you for the space to vent! isn't it funny how the things I found endearing the first few years are now driving me insane. the things that bug me the most are, he NEVER puts the cap back on the toothpaste and squeezes from the middle. Small bits of toothpaste find there way everywhere: the handle of my hairbrush, the door knob,the towels! you name it-one big sticky mess. Then there is his morning protein shake. Big tubs of protein powder left out but that powder is everywhere. It barely makes it into the blender, all over the counters and some on the floor. Is it that hard?? what is it with their aim? (on toilets too) I have to actually dustpan up the floor everyday, plus he never screws lids on all the way....just enough for you to think they are on, so you pick it up and *poof* the bottom falls off. (Im not even going into the hair stubble all over the faucet handles and the areas hard to reach, I could weave a hair coat, or the fact most of his clothes are draped over our gym in the basement, weight racks, pull up bars, benches-all covered in clothes ) eegads.and yes I still love him after 16 years =)
January 15, 2014 at 9:55am     
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Yvonne Hiemstra
Love my husbands lattes......but does he have to leave coffee grinds splattered all over the place? The price I pay for this little treat.....sighhhhh
January 15, 2014 at 10:04am     
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luschka
Oh my gosh! Soo funny hearing the same things from other people that we deal with at our house. That 'I die a little' when they don't refill a bag in the trash can!... Tooo funny... So that is the feeling I must get. :). I even put extra bags in the bottom for them to use. And the towel taken from the bathroom leaving you without one... Exactly! Leaving the lids off things in the bathroom so they can dry out... Like the wipettes... Who can use a dry wipette to clean with!! And sweezing the toothpaste in the middle then telling me we are all out when it is all crinkled up! Leaving hsir on the soap in the shower... Yuck! Spitting in the sink and not rinsing it down... Triple yuck!! I've raised my kids better so what gives? I could get grosser but...when will they learn without me harping?:).
January 15, 2014 at 10:16am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
She puts leftovers in tuperware. Then puts the tupeware in a plastic bag. Then ties a knot in said plastic bag. Then puts in friz. It is like so much work Just to grab a quick snack, she makes it so difflicult. plenty a night i chose just to sleep on a empty stomach.
January 15, 2014 at 10:26am     
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PRO
Destiny by Design
I would have to say that when I host family gatherings with my extended family it drives me nuts that the kids (and young adults) think my new furniture is a play ground rather than a place to sit and my favorite is when they take my expensive decorative pillows and start having pillow fights. Then I have to be the crabby "uptight" one to tell everyone to stop.
January 15, 2014 at 10:27am     
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mommickey
Even though we are saying what bothers us. I would not trade my family or the happiness they bring for anything. This thread did not make me dislike them it made me tell them to help a little bit more. So I have more time with them. This thread made me appreciate them even more.
January 15, 2014 at 10:27am     
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nabikokyo
were these 14 meant to be to a particular gender? i kind of thought so. anyway, yes i agree with each of them. But we also need to be gentle to those who are not following instructions. I have got to learn it has alot to do with how people were raised - its true. Needless to say, people raised with order and, well, seeing the seats closed tend to do exactly the same in their adult life. Just some thoughts.
January 15, 2014 at 10:28am     
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chrisinky
My husband had a dog when we were married so he already kept the toilet lid shut. Dog has passed, but habit stayed. It's good because kids are always throwing & bouncing balls which would no doubt go right in the toilet since its at the end of the hall.

If the dirty clothes were near the hamper I would be happy. Try being on the seeking end of hide & seek constantly when trying to find a 10 year old boy's underwear, socks, and pants. Most times they are shoved up under the bed. Shirts miraculously make it to the hamper.

I also hate having to reach inside the socks to turn them right side out. Who knows what I might touch? This is from the husband, son & daughter! So gross. It's bad enough I have to pick up their dirty clothes & put them into the washer. I tried just washing them that way, but they didn't care. I do make my husband mate his own socks together & fold his own t-shirts & undies. The least he can do is handle them when they smell good. When my kids are a little older, I am going to teach them to do their own laundry. I'm afraid they would screw it up now.

Probably my worst issue is when my husband comes in with wet or snowy shoes & walks all over the house. The rest of us take our shoes off at the door. I always wear socks so when I step on the water & get my socks wet I just want to tear his head off. I hate wet socks so I have to take those off & dirty another pair.
January 15, 2014 at 10:30am     
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chrisinky
So elevenarrows, you never feel the need to complain about your husband-That's wonderful. BUT, then you feel the need to put down perfect strangers? You say you taught your kids manners, but who taught them to you?

I think most of us are just airing our complaints so we won't go home & fight with our husbands or kids. It feels better to know that there are others out there who feel the same pains. I wish I was hyper-organized. I am not. I work as many hours at my job as he does, sometimes more. I coach all my daughter's team sports & he coaches our son's. I take care of almost all of the kids' needs, make all meals, do all laundry, clean, etc. He takes out the trash 1 time per week & mows the yard in the summer. I think a lot of women would just like their family to do the things that take little or no extra work. I'm okay with doing all the laundry, but it would be nice if the socks are right side out. That takes no extra work from them.
January 15, 2014 at 10:49am     
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liztw
1. Recycling: Is it really that hard to open the trash/recycle cabinet and deposit the can(s) or bottle(s) you just put on the countertop directly above it? I mean, thanks for bringing it that far, but why not finish the job? 2. Animal Emissions: If you find/step in the cat barf, please clean it up yourself, do not call for me. I am not such an 'expert'.
January 15, 2014 at 11:44am     
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Sue Hershelman
Gobs of toothpaste in the sink. Turning off the dryer and not folding the clothes = canyon-sized wrinkles. Might as well rewash the clothes. Drying his toothbrush on the hand towel. as well as several already listed above. I don't turn any laundry right side out anymore. And I warned the family. They get it back folded inside out. I'm relaxed and it doesn't seem to bother them, so deal done!
January 15, 2014 at 11:57am     
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ilkota0411
when there's a pile of 'stuff' to go up or down the stairs stop walking past it and take a load up. Saves me having to run up and down the stairs to get the pile up or down. Also push your chair IN when you get up and are done sitting there. No instead leave it out for me to trip over, manuver around or have to push in myself. Is that so hard?
January 15, 2014 at 12:02pm     
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beyondliberal
Hair in the sink REALLY bugs me, as does peeing in the shower.
Is there no end to grossness?
January 15, 2014 at 12:13pm     
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okdokegal
peeing in shower is just plain GROSS
January 15, 2014 at 12:25pm     
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PirateFoxy
@chrisinky - And why is someone else's time and energy more valuable than mine automatically, that I should have to go around doing all the little things so they can rest and relax instead of taking the extra second to put the toilet lid down or close the cabinets? (Also, I'm usually the one climbing into the dusty spider-infested haven to check on things like frozen pipes, because even though I'm female apparently my dad taught me more about such things than anyone else in the house. My dad taught my brother the same things - and we also both learned to cook and clean and do laundry, too. No girl jobs/boy jobs when I was a kid.)

I do recognize that depending on the individuals, some people are better at certain jobs than other people - I'm pretty good at setting up systems of organization for things, and other people aren't, so I don't mind being the one to figure out where things go in the kitchen, for example. Handily, while I hate vacuuming, someone else in the house finds it relaxing once reminded to do it. So I don't mind major tasks being broken down by what people are good at or mind least, so long as everyone is contributing. What makes me cranky is when someone is not being respectful of someone else's efforts - if I'm going to ask for my room to be vacuumed, then I should at least make sure there isn't a lot of junk on the floor that needs to be moved before the vacuuming can happen, right? Likewise if I go to the trouble of setting the kitchen up nicely, people should take the extra second to help it stay that way by not just piling things on the counter, taking out the full trash bag, etc.
January 15, 2014 at 12:53pm     
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74corralitos
OK, here I go... the minute he gets home turning on the heater and gas fireplace and then going to a room at the far end of the house. He would let the heater run for hours until I finally say "It's 110 in here". In addition leaving every light in the house on. You can follow the trail as to where he's been. I follow after and turn them off. The other night I turned off 7 lights (on the way to the family room where he is watching TV). Getting up from dinner and not pushing chair back to the table. Leaves it out 3 feet fro the table. I used to say bad words under my breath - but now just leave it in the center of the room. He got the hint and will push it back sooner or later. How can anyone make a simple sandwich and use 4 feet of counter space? The bread, lettuce, condiments, cheese all left on the counter. I've asked 100 times why he can't put things away as he uses them. His comment is "I wasn't finished in here" Akkkkk
January 15, 2014 at 1:00pm     
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kerryputland
My boyfriend and his children sometimes change the toilet paper but guess where the empty roll goes, yes on the floor - I think they are saving it to make christmas crackers. Also when they are making a sandwich or getting breakfast all ingredients come out of the fridge, get used but don't go back in the fridge, and they wonder why the milk goes off. The teenage daughter puts things that are cluttering up her room in the hallway outside, she thinks it is an annex. Finally I can happily say that I think I am the only one on the planet who doesn't care if the toilet lid is left up or down
January 15, 2014 at 2:09pm     
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Vicki Bauer
@mary miller Did you really mean "uselessly"?
January 15, 2014 at 3:01pm   
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Patricia Healy
Please clean the mirror after you flossed. Those little specks of food don't go away by themselves! I've read a few comments and they pretty much apply to my situation.
January 15, 2014 at 3:14pm     
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jilliehj
Oh wow, these are all so good! I don't have much to complain about, my hubby is pretty well trained after 10 years lol. However, the Tupperware/ plastic container drawer totally defeats him! I have all the same lids filed together, all the varying sizes of containers stacked together etc, but somehow he cannot figure out how to put anything back in that drawer... Whenever I open it after he's helped me by "tidying up", it's an absolute mess with stuff falling out all over the place. I tell him it's just like a jigsaw puzzle, but I guess he didn't do those as a kid.

He's also one of these men who can't find anything unless it's up front and center. if the mayo is behind the ketchup in the fridge, he'll swear blind we're out, or he'll say "where's the -----?" Or "who threw my ---- away?" Like I said I don't have much to complain about :-)
January 15, 2014 at 3:39pm     
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elevenarrows13
Pirate Foxy, as long as you think of yourself first and others second, you will continue to be resentful of "picking up after someone else". Frankly, I understand your frustration, but it sounds to me like your husband isn't needed (since you are quite willing to crawl under the house to unfreeze pipes) so perhaps he fulfills your expectations.
January 15, 2014 at 4:04pm   
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elevenarrows13
chrisinky, I was not correcting strangers...I was merely pointing out that it sounded like a pointless "spouse-bashing" session to me. I suppose if it gratifies you in some way to gripe to other people about your spouse...OK, but it is a bit pathetic to me. I'll shut up now since what I say will have no effect on someone who loves to gripe. Gripe away. I wonder how your husband would feel to read your comments about him...hurt? Disappointed?
January 15, 2014 at 4:09pm     
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Jack Arnott
Nothing at all wrong with peeing in the shower. The water is going in the same sewer drain, 3 feet away. And it's a harmless liquid. No worse than the sweat that you will be rinsing off.
January 15, 2014 at 4:28pm   
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linjohns
I thought I'd solved a problem when we remodeled a bathroom and I made sure there wasn't a grout line right in front of the toilet. Guess what? He still pees on the grout and it's impossible to clean perfectly! Also, for 43 years, no matter what refrigerator we've had, the butter has always been kept in the compartment labeled B-U-T-T-E-R. Still, he'll open the door and says, Where's the butter?" Last time, I said, "It's in the compartment that says EGGS". He said, "Oh really?" DUH!
January 15, 2014 at 4:28pm     
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Jeannie
All these comments made me realise I'm not alone in my frustration. That kinda helps me deal with it better - well for a while - until I go to get something and it hasn't been put back in the right place. I also have tools from when I was on my own. As the study is only used by me, I hide things I need in there. Result is I have a cluttered study, but if I need a screwdriver,,hammer, tape measure replacement light bulb, candles for power failures, batteries, power extension cords, furniture easy move pads, and the list goes on, I know exactly where to look. Incidentally, this is the last room we have to remodel, and am currently wondering how to do it and still keep everything like this out of sight. Apart from that my worst peeve is the pantry. If items were replaced back where they came from I would not have 4 jars of parmesan cheese, 3 jars of capers, crackers open and soft, { to name a few - [there are more] and out of date items tucked away at the back. My ideas book is filled with Houzz pictures. Now I need someone to do the work so that only 1 or 2 items can be on each shelf. Only a man could have dreamed up deep pantry shelves!
January 15, 2014 at 4:59pm     
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Jeannie
Jack Arnott
Definitely do not agree with you. When there is a toilet for peeing, seems like pure laziness to do it in the shower.
January 15, 2014 at 5:05pm     
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Jack Arnott
This article is about a more efficient household. This is one multi-task that makes sense.
January 15, 2014 at 5:26pm   
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vkilpatrick
We all have our gripes, mostly I am grateful to have a husband alive and healthy who occasionally forgets to rinse the sink after shaving. I'm grateful that my children were having so much FUN with each other that they forgot to pick up their toys. I am thankful I have a fridge full of food even though it is a pain to clean. But mostly, I am grateful that I only have to worry about the costs of heating my home in the winter, rather than finding a warm place on the street.
January 15, 2014 at 5:27pm     
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Lesley Delle_Grazie
Plugged toilets! I'm not sure if it's hubbys habit of throwing used kleenex in the toilet and not flushing (which drives me bonkers!), or because the kids use so much paper on top of that, but they plug the toilet and leave it like that and don't say a word. Ours never over-flow, must be some kind of safety now, but I'm the one who always finds it that way (and of course I need to go really bad because I've been so busy doing everything else) and I have to plunge it before I can go. You would think they could warn me or something?! At least they were kind enough to leave the light on...
January 15, 2014 at 6:15pm   
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middog
My husband us pretty good around the place. He likes to fold up the washing (to help out, he says). Towels are my biggest bugbear. He KNOWS I prefer them to be folded down the middle (length wise), then fold in thirds, firmly. So what happens, he folds them along the width, then scrumples the rest of the towel. growl. Socks..don't mention it. He wears thick socks every day (it's stinking hot here but still wears them). He has no idea how to fold them. He puts the toes together, gives a little twist, and result is the the long ankle part protrudes. As he wears long thick socks, try putting them away neatly. Only other problem is he likes to prepare his own lunch (we're both retired). Has NO idea that benches need to be wiped. I come in, discover a colony of ants, and get a tad upset and start to murder them. That us HIS pet peeve ('no need to kill them, they're just tidying up and feeding their young ones'). However, all in all, he's a good man and really, in the scheme of things, are these things all that important anyway :)
January 15, 2014 at 6:45pm     
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Lesley Delle_Grazie
Elevenarrows13, I just want to say, I find your judgement of others to be misplaced. We are answering the question at hand, and quite frankly, I've never laughed so hard in my life at some of the scenarios, nor felt so happy to know that I am not the only 24-hour-a-day scullery-maid/short-order cook/laundress/finder-of-lost-things in this world. All of the husband/family "bashing" that's going on is cathartic, not to mention the additional health-benefits of laughing out loud! I, as well as everyone here, I'm sure, am truly happy to have my health, a hard-working, loving husband, beautiful, healthy kids, and a beautiful home! But holy cow, if we can't unload some sh*t now and again, we'd all explode!
January 15, 2014 at 6:47pm     
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sandpat
I agree with you Lesley and on top of that, I doubt that any one posted something that they hadn't told their family/spouse/whomever many, many times. I wouldn't trade my hubs for the world, doesn't keep me from reminding him that I'm human and sometimes get tired of certain things. I know he does the same for me...in fact, I bet I drive him more bonkers than he does me. I'm pretty sure that we all know that in the big picture, none of the things mentioned really matter...thats what makes it so much fun to poke at them. :)
January 15, 2014 at 8:21pm     
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PirateFoxy
@elevenarrows13 - I think I'm the wrong person to be lecturing about being selfish given that I spent ~10 years being primary caregiver for my late husband and don't regret a second of it, and have spent the last 3 years or so living at home so I could help my parents after my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

The reality is that you CANNOT keep doing and doing and doing for others without thinking of yourself at all, not when things get really stressful like they do when there are major health issues or that sort of thing to deal with. Carving out little moments for yourself - like venting online to people similarly having a bit of a grumble - and identifying the things that are really eating at you and sapping your energy and making efforts to improve the situation where those things are concerned (by finding a different way to do it, by getting someone else to take on that particular task, whatever) are critical to making sure you have the mental, emotional, and physical energy to do all the things that absolutely NEED to be done, like middle of the night hospital trips.

(And yes, that is how my late husband and I functioned and were very happy together right up until he died unexpectedly - he obviously needed a huge amount of physical help from me because he was disabled and had health problems, and couldn't do little jobs around the house, so he made it a point of taking on as many of the jobs that he COULD do as possible, like paperwork and making phone calls. Plus, we were both always willing to tell the other how much we appreciated the efforts being made, which also makes a big difference. It's very mentally draining to be doing a tedious thing over and over again when it's something that needs to happen - like cleaning in the kitchen - but it seems like no one else realizes it needs to be done, or cares if it's done. Just one little 'thank you for doing X, I noticed you did that' can help.) (I do wonder at what point some of my old housemates would've noticed that the kitchen actually needed to be cleaned. When the roaches started building giant robots to battle it out with the mice?)
January 15, 2014 at 8:34pm     
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PirateFoxy
@sandpat - I quite regularly complain at people about the closing cabinet doors issue, it is not a secret that it annoys me. (Not in a mean way - most recently I've taken to suggesting that someone look into automatic door closers. I'm waiting for someone in the house to actually build one, it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility.) (Of course, it may work so well that the door then can't be opened, but luckily the cabinets need to be replaced anyway. ;) )
January 15, 2014 at 8:36pm     
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okdokegal
As I said before, I know my Suffering Better Half can make a long list about me too, but. Gender doesn't seem to be an issue when referring to Not closing cupboards, Missing the laundry hampers, Balled socks and pocket contents, Toilet Spindle Replacing; and all that stuff. We're all human; we all needed a vent. This thread let us do so. Some of us are relieved to find out we're not the only ones. The rest of it is highlighting, have some consideration for the others you live with. You're not the special one, it takes some give and take, and stop being lazy and be considerate. That is genderless. I also believe an hour worked is an hour worked, whether it draws a wage or is a chore to keep civility, sanity, order, and a living place that is worth being in. I've been the breadwinner at times, it didn't absolve me of being a slob; I still had to be civil and pick it up, wipe up after myself, put it away, rinse my dish, unball my socks, hit the hamper, close the cupboard... My day rarely ended after 8 hours. You live 24 hours.
January 15, 2014 at 9:04pm     
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Sue Hershelman
Someone mentioned peeing in the shower. Believe it or not, there have been a few recent scientific studies that have proven that peeing in the shower leads to no infections, diseases, etc. But it is just plain gross. And speaking of the shower, I hate when someone blows his nose in the shower and the shower wall ends up with a dob of dried boog. No one ever seems to see it but me, hence, I clean it. But I agree with the comment above. It's not a gender thing. And cleaning up after yourself is a basic act in civility.
January 15, 2014 at 11:52pm     
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sniphy
My husband always asks me where everything is too.
January 16, 2014 at 12:40am     
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Jean Stryker
Urine is sterile. When the urea in the urine breaks down it becomes ammonia, a common cleaning product. Presumably, ickier parts than your pee-pee are being washed in the shower. I would think that the swirl of hot soapy water going down the drain would completely erase any possible peeing evidence or consequences.
January 16, 2014 at 6:21am     
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pat_in_belgium
Oh, how this resonates!!! We have lived in our house 20 years (just paid off the mortgage, hooray!) and husband STILL does NOT know where "things" are. The kitchen is tiny, and, albeit organized by me, it DOES seem pretty "logical" (female friends have NO problem finding stuff, for instance). Because he cannot locate the can opener (in the same drawer, two divisions to the right), husband will grab nearest available "tool", like a piece of my good cutlery or a carving knife (several ended up with telltale broken tips!).
And now that our beloved daughter is out making her own adult life, there are only two people here making messes. Guess which one rarely, if ever, cleans up what has been left!?! (That used to be a Cardinal Rule: Everyone cleans up after themselves.)
Thank you for letting me "rant". As we've been married decades I, in no way, expect any of this to change!
January 16, 2014 at 7:46am     
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chrisinky
Lesley, sandpat, Piratefoxy, okdokegal: If we all lived in the same town, we would surely be friends. Piratefoxy, you are a strong lady & we will listen to you grumble anytime. Sometimes you just need to vent & other times you need to stop and appreciate, many times all in the same day. I love my husband very much. We've been married for 12 years with 2 kids. I complain about him, but its nothing I wouldn't or haven't said to him directly. I never say these things to him like I'm better or he's stupid. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

So in the spirit of appreciating, here goes. He is a great husband & dad. He normally gets home before me & usually has helped the kids finish their homework before I get home. He coaches my son's various ball teams, which he is great at, so he not only makes a great impression on our son but also a lot of other boys of which many don't have great male role models. He is a Christian man & we go to church as a family. He recites the Lord's prayer with all of his teams before each game, again making a great impression on other kids. He lights up a room when he walks into it. It seems like everyone wants to talk to him. He is a very fine police officer & is a very fair man & cares deeply for his community. He is a great leader wherever he is. He often hands money out the window to people who are begging with signs beside the road (even when I say they do the same thing every day & probably make more money doing that than we do-not that I'm against helping people, I'm just very skeptical of those with nice signs). He doesn't complain when I put my always cold feet against him in bed.

I could keep going, but no one wants to keep reading this. I know I have many faults too. He often points those out to me. It's our way of communicating. If we didn't talk about it & vent, then we wouldn't truly know each other well. I know he sometimes vents to his friends & that's okay. By getting things out in the open, sometimes behaviors have changed on both sides. I plan to still be complaining about him when we've been married 50 more years if we both live that long.
January 16, 2014 at 8:31am     
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armipeg
This off topic but everyone please note that urine is not disgusting. It can actually act as medicine in many many ways. It is most famous for being used as the best remedy for jellyfish sting. If you get stung by jellyfish, just pee on it. Seriously.
January 16, 2014 at 1:45pm   
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Hot Mess Express
So funny because my husband does EVERY one of the peeves listed. I just had to add one more.... Thanks so much for rinsing your plate of the left over food, now could you rinse the food down the drain/into the disposal and not leave it to become like cement so that I have to chisel it out in the morning?
January 16, 2014 at 6:48pm     
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PirateFoxy
@jaminjumps - We have that one too, here. I'm the only one in the house who doesn't like spinach, and spinach appears to have some kind of hidden super-glue property such that if you let a plate with leftover spinach bits sit and dry out, the bits will be ADHERED to the plate in such a way that the dishwasher won't do a thing about it. So I keep having to put things to soak because no one else seems to remember to do so. (If I'm lucky the plates end up in the kitchen in the vague area of the sink. If not, they're all on the dining room table.)
January 16, 2014 at 7:16pm   
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kshell1502
Cheese!!! Cheese will fuse itself to the plate in the dishwasher if not rinsed off before it dries. Ditto for any kind of protein powder. I swear, barnacles could take a lesson! :-D
January 16, 2014 at 7:45pm     
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PirateFoxy
@kshell1502 - Duly noted. I shall be on the lookout for cheese also. (Luckily, I am the only person in the house who consumes protein powder, and I only put it in my Blender Bottle and then the shake goes into a glass, so as long as I rinse both of those when I'm finished, it's okay.)
January 16, 2014 at 7:51pm   
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Shauna Cowley Filtz
Dishes migrate to the counter above the dishwasher and no further. Unwrapping something and leaving the packaging 3 feet from the trash. I don't understand? 2 extra steps, pull open the cabinet, deposit trash in bin. Makes me bananas.
January 16, 2014 at 8:30pm     
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Hot Mess Express
I am the only woman in a house with four men ranging in age from 18 to 48. I am not perfect, but I try my hardest to set the example - so I think that makes me darn near perfect, or at least conscious. The funny thing is, when you call them out on something they look at me like I have two heads. I just hope that what I do and say actually has some impact on them - for the sake of the next significant woman in their lives! Oh, and leaky eggs (sunny side up?) - definitely in the cement category....
January 16, 2014 at 8:43pm   
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janbhan
Rinse off egg yolk with a bit of detergent before putting dishes in the washer - that is, unless you like the smell of egg all over. But can I get anyone else to do this??? So now I check before I start the machine. yes, cheese sticks like epoxy resin, make sure it's all off, unless you run your washer on cold.
January 16, 2014 at 9:30pm     
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Jean Stryker
Oatmeal that's dried onto a bowl. Try getting that off without a chisel. Fortunately, oatmeal with cheese, egg, and spinach is not a popular dish.
January 17, 2014 at 5:13am     
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janbhan
Oh yes I forgot oatmeal. once dry is is almost as bad as resin glues. Now I fill a washing-up bowl with warm water and add a few drops of detergent to it. Everyone is invited to plonk their dishes into it after scraping off the bits.....food can't dry on, a lot just floats away, and even if that's as far as anybody gets, the job is that much easier. Nice if somebody else does it for me, natch.
January 17, 2014 at 5:33am   
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sabineledieu
Laundry "helpers" that put a load into the washer and put the load that was IN the washer ON TOP of the dryer to marinate into a smelly mess.
January 17, 2014 at 5:42am     
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kshell1502
Amazing how new-fangled inventions like "water" and "trash" are totally foreign concepts!! Surprisingly, Martha Stewart doesn't live at my house, nor do the laundry fairies stop by to switch the load from washer to dryer. So much more effective to wait for it to mold and re-wash it! Fortunately, my kids have been doing their own laundry since they were 12, But if they don't care enough about them to pick clothes up off the floor or switch to the dryer, why should I? They're the ones who have to wear them, not me. Consequences(as long as they're not dangerous) are so much more effective than nagging. Can't find your stuff? Bummer - maybe you shoulda put it back where you got it! I don't remember what I did with it last time I used it - which was NEVER!!
January 17, 2014 at 9:53am     
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Terry Lindstrom
empty soda cans/bottles next to the couch. You go past the recycling to get a full one! Take it with you.
January 17, 2014 at 11:19am     
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strawberry Frog
It is shocking how many put up with disgusting and disrespectful habits. I believe the "grown up" offenders would not tolerate a stranger, in-law or teenager disrespecting their space in the same way. It's great to vent, but the bottom line is that it is about Givers and Takers. The takers, we know who they are, have immense control over their environment and the relationships with those of us who live in it. They reserve their energy for themselves and their favorite ways to use it. Houzz - have you done anything special on his and hers bathrooms? Seems to be a huge demand for it.
January 17, 2014 at 3:51pm     
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okdokegal
I have, we have had two bathrooms and each have one designated as their primary bathroom (aka I use his I leave the seat the way I found it when I'm done, including up if that's the way he left it) and in the master bath I sacrificed the linen closet and plumbed in for a urinal. With a cleanupable perimeter. I just ran out of budget so it goes in next month. I can't think of any more Y gene accommodating than that!
January 18, 2014 at 10:16pm     
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Odas Williams
I used to have a lot of the same complaints mentioned here but my views have changed. When I see: Dirty dishes, I'm thankful that I had food to eat and share with those I love, dirty clothes, I'm thankful my wife and I have clothes to wear, dirty bathroom, I'm thankful we have a nice place to clean up. I'm thankful that my home is welcoming to all those I love and care about and I'm thankful that they feel comfortable and relaxed when visiting here.
January 19, 2014 at 4:47am     
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sandpat
Odas, thats a lovely sentiment and I'm sure my husband feels exactly the same way as he watches me move around the house cleaning up those dirty dishes, dirty clothes, dirty bathroom and dirty place. I also want my loved ones to feel welcomed and comfortable. I just think that the place is more welcoming when it doesn't look like a sty full of pigs lives here.
January 19, 2014 at 6:22am     
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chookchook2
Everyone should help, to their capacity. Nice one Odas.
January 19, 2014 at 6:24am   
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starbear
What is the big deal with leaving empty shampoo, body wash bottles in the shower! I suppose the recycling green fairy takes them downstairs rinses them and puts them out! Must get back to my cooking!
January 19, 2014 at 6:27am     
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chookchook2
Let the cooking elves do that, starbear.
January 19, 2014 at 6:29am   
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strawberry Frog
Odas, sounds like you actually do respect your space. That seems to be all anyone would like to see in their homes to create a feeling of peace and harmony. My husband agreed to match the amount of money he spends on cigars, golf and beer to hire a cleaning service. They came to clean the entire house top to bottom then once a month after that they clean with me to maintain it. Many of his bad habits continue, but he shows more respect for those he is now paying to clean up behind him and at least makes an effort - from time to time. I feel better knowing that once a month I will have someone to help.
January 19, 2014 at 11:01am     
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face39
It's just me and my cat. My cat NEVER cleans her box OR helps with any other cleaning. That really makes me mad!!!!!!

Otherwise, life is good.
January 19, 2014 at 11:11am     
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Luciana
@Bonnie, okdokegal, 5blues - thank you for your advice. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I don't really plan on murdering my husband (myself, a hired man though... joking!!!) I showed him my comment and replies and you should have seen his glare, especially when threatened to get sprayed with water like a cat, Bonnie!! (he tried to say he's not as bad as other people, but swallowed his words at my glare!!!)

Then, however -- MIRACLE!! for about 2 days the socks drawer got closed! Today was forgotten open again. Oh well, he gets points for trying...

And taking about getting points -- I have the best husband in the world!! He bought me dozens of flowers for my birthday (amongst other gifts) and put his coats away. That was after I threw them on the floor...
January 19, 2014 at 11:23am     
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okdokegal
When I have a housepurr, they are there to keep me company, lend their graceful timeless good looks to my décor, amuse me, entertain me, share body heat, purr.... play kitty hockey at 2 am down the hall and all those other things they are naturals at. In return I have to teach them about where to claw; feed them, groom them, love them, and deal with their litterbox. Purrtherapist on 4 paws does their share in return for what I do for them. :)

Luciana, looks you you've got the best of the deal, and the fact he tried, priceless.
January 19, 2014 at 1:13pm     
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PirateFoxy
@strawberry Frog - I honestly think that cleaning services have a bad reputation as only being for lazy people or rich people. Yes, it is an extra expense to pay for it, but the cost of someone coming in once a month compared to the cost of other things people pay for regularly, like cable tv, isn't a huge amount. People have health problems, people are busy, people are just bad at cleaning because they don't 'see' dirt (seriously, I think some people's brains are so busy doing other things that they don't notice stuff like the mirror being smudged or the sweatshirt on the stairs) - whatever. Having someone come in once a month or so means that the major stuff gets done, plus knowing they're coming in seems to help remind people to look around their space from a different perspective and then they DO see more of those odds and ends that are out of place.

(It made such a difference to me when I was still taking care of my late husband and we finally got a cleaning company to come in. We had a house larger than we needed because we also had care assistants who'd stay overnight when they were working and needed room for them to stay, and between the space and the stuff I had to do for my husband, it sapped so much of my energy trying to stay on top of the cleaning too. Our cleaners would come in and every couple of weeks they'd do a basic run around - vacuum, wipe counters, etc. - plus 'deep' clean one of the Major Mess rooms like kitchen or bathroom, or do one of those infrequent chores like taking down the window treatments in a room to clean and dust thoroughly. So a little bit got done each visit and it really helped keep me from feeling like I was fighting a losing battle against the Dust Bunny Army. They didn't do EVERYTHING, but they did enough that the rest was manageable even if we'd had a bad few weeks due to health issues or whatever.)
January 19, 2014 at 6:47pm     
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strawberry Frog
PirateFoxy You did a wonderful loving thing for another human being and did it with grace. You deserve to enjoy all small and simple pleasures that exist around us everyday.
January 20, 2014 at 9:00am     
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mamadocng
I can relate with most of this! It's actually comforting to know I'm not alone (was beginning to wonder if I was OCD). Had a good laugh reading the comments with the hubby. Hoping he takes a hint and makes an extra effort around here.
January 20, 2014 at 12:35pm     
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mousemaker
someone mentioned putting socks away? I remember once I was stuffing socks in a drawer (yes my own socks, I am guilty :)) and I slammed the drawer on my fingers!!!!!!! yes, indeedy!!
January 20, 2014 at 12:48pm     
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Marlena Franklin
Guess I'm pretty lucky - my one pet peeve with my husband - He's a contractor and sometimes forgets to take his work shoes off and tracks dirt inside that's no biggie as he apologizes and most time sweeps up his mess.But what he really does that drives me up the wall is leave his shoes right in the door way or in any walking path so you have to step over or around them. At night I remind him to pick up his shoes and sometimes clothes out of my path to the bathroom so I don't trip over them. And he will...but it's an almost every night thing. You would think he would get annoyed having to step over his own shoes. Every thing else he puts back. Maybe it's his way to rebel!
January 22, 2014 at 6:18am     
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geralyncrawford
Coupons, I know they come in handy, but I do the grocery shopping. My husband clips coupons and leaves piles of them on the tables in the fam room. He doesn't use them he just clips them and leaves them lying around. Stop clipping coupons or clip what we actually use!
January 25, 2014 at 3:43pm     
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Edie Nichols
I took care of the "laundry all over the floor, chairs, etc" problem with my hubbie about 15 years ago. I got so tired of picking up after this "third" child that I finally got to the point where I would just kick his dirty laundry out of the way and into the corner of the bedroom. In plain site, but not in the way. After a few days he said, "I have no clean underwear" I answered "I know, it's probably in the corner with the rest of the clothes"...... I said "If it doesn't make it to the hamper it does not get washed"......that was the last of the dirty laundry strew all over heck and half of Texas! (it about killed me to just pile up the laundry like that, I saw it every time I walked into our bedroom, and I knew in the end that I would have a ton a laundry to do, but for a few days of inconvenience it was worth it!)
January 25, 2014 at 5:33pm     
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Brandi Nash Hicks
Just wanted to say I am a hairstylist salon owner ,I have scissors for home use ,but it never fails someone always wants my really sharp pair ,...no way my scissors for hair are over $600 dollars
January 25, 2014 at 7:01pm     
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Brian Shelton
Fire place tender
January 25, 2014 at 7:41pm     
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Edie Nichols
One Plea.........Please Mothers do not do everything for your children when they are growing up! Teach them to do for themselves and you (and their future spouses) will be so much happier in the end! Teach your little boys to to put the toilet seat and lid down when they are done......teach your daughters to cook!
January 26, 2014 at 3:13am     
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okdokegal
Teach your little boys how to cook too! And the little girls how to change their own tires....
January 26, 2014 at 4:09am     
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chookchook2
Teach a sheep how to mow the lawn.
January 26, 2014 at 5:19am     
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bdcook
Just a comment about the cat box - the article says 'empty when it smells', but it should be cleaned (not emptied) every day at least. Almost all cat bathroom problems start with unclean litter boxes. Save yourself the grief and your cat the pain of the dirty catbox.
January 26, 2014 at 9:06am     
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marthapeterson
You used the last stick of butter or the last cereal, put it down on my shopping list!
January 31, 2014 at 5:52am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
martha, that's a good idea. :) Will try that. Thanks
January 31, 2014 at 5:56am     
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ruth53187
This is why you teach your kids from young age so that they can learn how to do things.. Which means that if your love ones do things like that is because you taught them to be like that. Set an example.. I have 3 little ones all of them seem to know that shoes are left in the nude rom and coats go in the closet( why? Because mommy taught them)
January 31, 2014 at 6:53am     
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ruth53187
Mudroom
January 31, 2014 at 6:54am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
I learned other things at a small age. Like mowing the lawn, repairing the lawn mower, splitting wood with a wedge and a sledge hammer, trimming the hedges...All at the age of nine...other/good ideas ones like marthas' above i'm only now learning. It's great in its simplicity...banging head with said sledge hammer (Duh, why didn't i think of that)
January 31, 2014 at 7:17am     
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chrisinky
Ruth, nude room gave me a little laugh at work this morning. :) Thanks

If you want to change your post, you can edit it by putting your cursor over the top right hand corner of the box & clicking on the pencil icon that shows up. I think you can delete a whole post too.
January 31, 2014 at 7:46am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
Ruth: Don't change nuderoom to mudroom. It gave me a chuckle also (i knew what you meant)...:))) A nuderoom may the fastest coming trend :)))))
January 31, 2014 at 7:51am     
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Genevieve
What can I add .....

January 31, 2014 at 8:03am     
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charleee
I saw this sign the other day and had a good chuckle "Changing the Toilet Paper Does Not Cause Brain Damage" http://www.seventhavenue.com/Bed-and-Bath/Bath/Bath-Accessories/every-bathroom-needs-this-sign.pro?fpi=113473&catCd=EE&prefixCode=EE
January 31, 2014 at 8:12am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
charleee: I don't understand that message
January 31, 2014 at 8:23am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
:))
January 31, 2014 at 8:24am     
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Jean Stryker
The "nude room" is going to keep me smiling all day. Perhaps it could be set up like a drive thru car wash: dirty kids come in, take off their clothes, pass through the jets, and emerge sparkling on the other side.
January 31, 2014 at 8:45am     
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Genevieve
I can imagine it :)) better to be " The Nude room " then the Rude Room :)) BRrrrrrits too cold
January 31, 2014 at 8:53am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
:)) The rude room ? I don't mean to be rude---scratch that---> what you're wearing seems to be rude
January 31, 2014 at 9:03am     
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Curt D'Onofrio
(What was you thinking???)
January 31, 2014 at 9:07am     
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frustratedminimalist
OMG Thank you for this (I really did) laugh out loud commentary that gave voice to all of my inner household angst. YES! To the toilet lid, the clothes in the floor, and the cabinet doors open!! May I add the "whole side of the bedroom" as an article segment next time, and the cloud of dirt/paper/fill-in-the-blank and trail left behind (think Pigpen from Peanuts).

I just feel validated relief that I'm not the only one. I have no advice for you, silent community. I deeply ove the people in my life who commit these atrocities, so alas, I will press on. I would, however, like Houzz to write a follow-up article on how to begin the conversation about these annoyances with these "usual suspects," without employing guilt, anger, or any flying rusty tools that were left out in the rain, lol.
February 5, 2014 at 6:52am     
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victorianbungalowranch
If I remember correctly, the Dad in the movie "Failure to Launch" had a nude room!
February 5, 2014 at 1:28pm     
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alh1881
In our house, the mudroom *is* the nude room. The spousal unit likes to shower in the small utility bathroom off the mudroom, instead of upstairs like normal people. Then he walks out of the bathroom nekkid and dresses in the mudroom. :-P

And one of my pet peeves is that he thinks the entire mudroom is his personal walk-in closet, despite the fact that he has lots of closet space upstairs (more than I do). ANd he has a storage locker in the mudroom where he could keep a few clothes, if necessary, but no-- they have to be hung and strewn all over the mudroom. He uses his locker to store his stash of 2 years worth of receipts from McDonalds and the grocery store. I ask him why he keeps these-- Does he intend to return the merchandise??
February 10, 2014 at 9:34am     
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chocolatespoon
Thank you so much for this story!!! It had me rolling!!!! (It's easier to laugh than cry, right?)

Replacing the toilette paper: MY BIGGEST PEEVE!!!!! I have walked into the bathroom and found: 1 empty roll of toilette paper on the roller, 1 partial used roll on the counter and two, let me repeat...TWO additional empty toilette paper rolls sitting next two it on the counter. WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Even after threats of bodily harm, public shaming (a very sarcastic how-to video on facebook), begging, pleading, arguing--NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!!!

I am a little sad to think that these behaviors are so common that this list even exists. Look at all the comments! I see I am not alone. And neither are the people that commit these unspeakable acts. Good luck to those of us that live with these criminals!
February 10, 2014 at 11:45am     
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kshell1502
You'd think I'd asked them to re-invent the wheel instead of just change the dang roll!! Is it really that hard?? And just bringing in 1 roll from the garage instead of a whole package??? Seriously??? Like I'll always be lurking outside the bathroom door to hand them that extra roll???
February 10, 2014 at 12:06pm     
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Darzy
My Aunt HATES it when her husband put his baseball cap on the kitchen counter. She does EVERYTHING for him. One small thing she asks and he can't stop it. :)
February 10, 2014 at 7:04pm     
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juudean
Newspapers...spread out all over the place.
February 10, 2014 at 7:31pm     
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cinderellaslipper
Ladies, I'm feeling your pain,,,,I remarried twelve years ago and ended up with a houseful of men, four of them, and having previously owned my own set of under the sink tools, I was unsuspecting, when they were merrily purloined by the eldest stepson to do his bike or whatever...of course, when my husband, who does long hours, was away, I hit an emergency tool moment, so was pretty pissed to discover they'd vanished or rusted in the garden..... so when he arrived back to my wailing....he attempted to make amends the next Christmas,,,,by getting me a load of tools in a black refuse bag....suffice to say I spent Christmas at my Mother's!
February 15, 2014 at 10:08am     
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kshell1502
Exactly!! My tools kept getting designated "garage", never to be seen or heard from again! I finally bought replacements and keep them squirreled away in my closet!
February 15, 2014 at 1:47pm     
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cathylenny
Oh my, there are so many, I admit that I did not read them all. But I do hope that everyone feels better for expressing them. Mine has got to be clothes where they do not belong, such as the floor, or even strewn around a chair. If you took the time to put it there, why not just go the distance and hang it up or put in in a closet, which is what I will eventually have to do anyway to your article of clothing. Oh but the absolute worst is clean folded clothes that go unnoticed and end up on the floor only to be washed again. Hold me down for this one!
February 16, 2014 at 9:53pm     
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thedarlingsbecca
I am not a sports fan. My husband was. Every room in our house would have a radio or tv broadcasting some game (not the same one). It drove me batty!

When my now truly wonderful daughter was a teen, the carpeting in her room stayed like new. It was her clothes on the floor that were being walked upon. With three teens of her own now, she asks if this "pay back time"!
February 16, 2014 at 11:02pm     
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joanbllt
My daughter lives with me - She doesn't finish things - drawers are not closed, dishes are left soaking in the sink - or on the counter, we take turns cooking - but she is a very sloppy cook - and I get to clean up after her - Nothing gets put away.
When she moved in several years ago, I asked her to clean the shower - since she uses it daily while my older skin goes for less frequent use. I can count on one hand the times she has cleaned it in those years. The last time I cleaned the shower (the pink in the corners got to me) she complained about the odor of the cleaning materials. I told her rather heatedly that she didn't get to complain.
She does clean the cat boxes regularly, but we have a small closed garbage bin in the bathroom now full of bagged cat product with 3 additional bags on top. I suspect that I'll break down tomorrow and take it out to the bins.
She has rearranged things that I have stored - yes, the less frequently used items - but now I don't know where these items are. We had a brief power failure - and I had no idea where the candles and lanterns were. And she didn't either.
I just don't remember her as a child being quite so unaware of the mess she regularly creates.
February 17, 2014 at 2:35am     
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bernegger
Scissors disappear into the "man world", he throws out every potato peeler he uses (yes he does like to cook which makes up for a lot), he also throws out our utensils when we clean up the table, he cannot understand the concept of the round pegs going into the round hole, so he will load the dishwasher with his dirty plates in a completely random way. He calls me the dishwasher Nazi but it is so much easier to load the utensils with spoons with spoons, forks with forks because it is much easier to unload that way, and I do the unloading. Of course never knows where anything is, but the biggest pet peeve is that NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I ASK, "When you see something at the top of the stairs that means it has to go downstairs, when something is at the bottom of the stairs, it has to go up." I am talking about things that are too heavy for me to carry to the point where I have to make 2 or 3 trips! How could you not see a huge basket of folded laundry and choose to step over it rather than carry it up?! But after 22 years of this nonsense, still love him ;)
February 17, 2014 at 3:21am     
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kshell1502
I don't know how old your daughter is, but I finally sat my 4 down in the room & just had them look around & tell me what they saw! If they don't see the mess, they won't clean it. Then I told them what I saw. Opened their eyes at least somewhat!
If the open drawers are in her room, close her door & walk away! As long as vermin aren't involved, she gets to live in her own mess. If you keep your space picked up, she'll eventually learn what I it looks like, tho it may take a LONG time.
If she won't clean up after herself in the kitchen, quit cooking cooking for her!! Eat out, nuke a TV dinner, eat fresh fruit & veggies, use paper plates, whatever you need to do to keep yourself fed. When she runs out of plates/pans/utensils......well there they'll be, waiting for her to clean up after herself. She'll have SO much fun scrubbing off food that's been marinating for a week! If you absolutely have to clean to keep the bugs away, she loses kitchen privileges! Cleaning up is part of cooking. No clean = no cook! As long as you pick up after her, she'll keep letting you.
If she doesn't like the smell of bathroom cleaning products, maybe you can find some natural products that are less offensive. One of my kids is very sensitive to odors! A window squeegee for the tiles may help, but she will have to physically pick it up & use it. Turtle wax on the tiles once a month means water runs right off. And just wiping out the sink once a day goes a long way - no chemicals needed. Easier to keep it that way than to get it that way. Maybe it will occur to her after spending an hour scrubbing! I used to have my kids clean like mad for 10 minutes & then quit! I don't want to spend all day at it, either.
Sorry this is so long :-)
February 17, 2014 at 5:35am     
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lynringel
Zip your zippers and empty your pockets of tissues, used wadded up paper towels, golf tees, nails and misc items BEFORE you put your pants/jeans in the laundry. Why should a wife have to get jabbed by a nail or handle nasty used tissues before doing the laundry. Or having tissue pieces stuck to every wet piece of washed clothing because of a missed pocket search.....GRRRRRRRRRRRR!
February 23, 2014 at 5:07pm     
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lynringel
I do have to say though . . . . That after more than 42 years together, my husband still opens the car door for me and still holds my hand everywhere we go. Those are habits I hope he never loses. :)
February 23, 2014 at 5:14pm     
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okdokegal
One my father could never explain... we didn't have a garage so the car was parked on the street, front passenger door in line with the sidewalk to the front door. Winter, summer, rain, shine... he would walk to that door then go around the front of the car, unlock, get in, then reach over to unlock the passenger door and rear door. I thought it exceedingly rude to leave mom standing there when he could have unlocked her door then gone around the front to get in. At least if you're riding in my car, I will unlock that door first; then go around and let myself in.

Lynringel, that's definitely a keeper :)

I loved this topic, and like to keep adding, it's a great way to let the steam out!
February 23, 2014 at 10:12pm     
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