This is a great example of why lighting is so important. Here, the softness of the light creates harmony and warmth; an inviting ambiance that permits relaxation.
To achieve this, buy dimmers to control the intensity of the lights and direct them away from the sitting area, unless you intend to read.
Start with a soft light and play with it until you find the right mood. Remember that a very bright room can be relaxing only if it's natural light, otherwise you feel like you're in a store's window display.