Becky Harris Yes, I suppose I see that a renovation happened in the '70s or '90s (in this case it was both) and know just how bad that means it was 90% of the time and assumed everyone else would understand what I was implying, along with "some strangeness" which is explained in the following sentences. Perhaps I should hope that someone not only read the first sentence, but complete the entire first paragraph before scrolling down and leaving a snide comment. I know this is a lot to ask.

Thanks Alex, to be honest, I have two editors who go over everything I write who know "a" from "an" MUCH better than I do and write much more compelling titles than I could ever come up with. You taught me something, b/c I think my inclination was "an historic" also! ;) I'll always take a grammar lesson, I need them, so please bring them on and I will never think they are rude. Well, if I say something really dumb, maybe make the comment private so I don't feel like a total idiot ...

the_misfit I don't begrudge my husband (or men in general) his space, but I think most of the ideas in the article don't stand up to examination. Perhaps some women take ZERO input from their husbands in decorating, but I doubt that's generally true. Most of the wives I know wish their husbands had expressed MORE opinions about how the space should come together, and have followed all the preferences their husbands were willing to express.

More to the point, the underlying implication of this article is that the home's spaces would look different if the husband had been in charge of the design decisions. This is a total fiction for two reasons. (1) I have seen what my husband's space looks like when I don't take on the major design work: the walls are always the same color the previous owner/resident/landlord painted them, no matter what that is. Furniture is selected purely for comfort (or even laziness - I have this and don't like it, but I'm not replacing it), NOT for color, style, or aesthetic relationship to other elements in the room. No finishing is ever done at all - no curtains, no carpets, nada. You can't tell me that my husband's personal style happens to be best expressed by whatever paint color the previous resident used, but not at all captured by the paint color I rolled on after showing him dozens of color samples. Moreover, the list of items you recite that men want when they get their own spaces are not design features at all. A huge TV and a kegerator (or a lot of shop tools) are not aesthetic choices. They are FUNCTIONAL choices. The kind of men you're talking about do NOT care what a space looks like. They only care what they can accomplish there. Which just means that their functional objectives should be accounted for when designing the main living space. Are a lot of wives refusing to do this? And, suppose it's true that on some subconscious level, men really do care a lot about the aesthetics of their space. If that's true, it's another big assumption that his taste won't be at all the same as his wife's, but let's assume that's true, too. I can guarantee you, then, that his man cave won't satisfy his aesthetic needs - because HE WON'T DECORATE IT. He's not going to choose draperies and paint colors and finishes that speak to him. The guy you're describing is just going to buy the biggest TV he can afford and the most comfortable couch he can get his hands on easily and then he will be finished with the entire design process permanently. (2) The other reason this is a total fiction is because of the article's repeated reference to design professionals. So this process doesn't work if someone else has input into the decisions? Then fire your designer. Because I guarantee you that that person is going to push Mr. Man Cave in the direction of some aesthetic elements or other, and there's no reason they'd be any more liberating than the ones his wife suggested.

Of course, this all suggests a particular stereotype of male thinking and behavior, which is true in a lot of cases though by no means all. I don't mean to disregard the man who has a strong and conscious sense of the style he wants to see in his house. But I'm pretty sure that man is already contributing heavily to the decision-making process.

So in short, I find this irritating because it so systematically undercuts its own logic. All residents of the home should have input into how their spaces are usable and how they appear, as restrained by budget and the needs of the other residents. Which includes room for an ugly weight bench in the garage, and a pile of power tools (those would be my power tools, by the way). They're part of our lives even if they don't look good in the living room.

I will add one note more sympathetic to the article's point of view: women who decorate in Early Laura Ashley and Frayed Lace are asking their husbands to MOVE OUT. Consider the opportunity to paint every room pink as one of