10 Country Living Do's and Don'ts
This is a cute article from Backwoods Living Magazine:
When we moved from the city to the mountains, I kept my eyes open and my mouth shut and and paid very close attention to other peoples botchery. Personally, IÂd really rather watch someone else screw up than have to do it myself. But of course, thereÂs no free lunch, and so we added our own blunders to my ever-growing list. What follows are 10 lessons from my "now I know better" collection. Perhaps these lessons learned will ease your transition from the city to wilderness.
1. Know thyselves. If you are a couple who bickers over which way to hang the toilet paper roll, donÂt buy raw land.
The path from raw land to indoor plumbing is fraught with hundreds, if not thousands, of decisions. If you canÂt pull as a team over the little things, how will your relationship survive decisions like where to sink a well (that one can be worth, oh, $20,000), where to put the kitchen, do we buy or rent equipment, do we build a log house or glue it up out of egg cartons?
We have several guys (one of our neighbors included) sitting around our county amidst their half-finished projects all by themselves because the little woman couldnÂt handle it and ran off mid-construction. On the other hand, we have another neighbor couple who knew that they werenÂt cut out for the house building process. They bought undeveloped land and put a manufactured home on it. Save your marriage (or whatever) and buy a house.
2. Know thy neighbors. You may be under the false impression that since you are moving from more crowded to less crowded conditions that you will have more privacy and that neighbors matter less. Au contraire.
When looking at rural property, you will find yourself driving down many a dirt road. If there is more than one home on that road, it is a neighborhood, like it or not. Look closely at the homes and residents on that road. If your house catches on fire or you hack your leg off with a chainsaw, do you think you can depend on them to help?
When I was searching the great wilderness for our dream property, I drove down some rural roads that actually triggered the theme from Deliverance in the back of my brain. Filthy, malnourished children standing there picking their noses and glaring at you as you drive by is a bad sign. Find some excuse to go chat up some of the neighbors before you buy. Introduce yourself and ask them how bad the winters are, what advice do they have for new folks, did they marry their sister, whatever, just get a feel for the folks you may have to trust with your life and property.
3. Know thy driveway. I rarely see this subject discussed, but in the sticks, the length of your driveway can make or break the whole experience.
There is a house on our road that has seen three occupant changes in the 4 years weÂve been here. It is a cute, well-landscaped little place with a very short driveway. That means the house is quite close to the DIRT road. When people drive on the dirt road in the summer, the residents of the house, who might be outside enjoying their beautiful yard, get DUSTED. The dust gets everywhereÂit covers their cars, it coats their garden, and it creeps into the house, too. Those folks spend their summers in a huff every time someone drives by their house. They make what I call "The Indy Report" to anyone who will listen, "So and so drives fifty miles an hour past our place, blah blah blah."
On the other hand, our driveway is a winding 700 feet long. We canÂt even see the road. We love it. But we also live at about 3000 feet and see a lot of snow all winter. This is OK with us because we have good plowing gear and 4-wheel-drive cars.
It also cost big money to put gravel on that much driveway, which is necessary in our area if you want to use your driveway year-round. We have a neighbor who has been out here for years who had to park at the end of his driveway half the year due to the snow and mud until just last year when he got a 4-wheel drive. A long driveway is great for privacy and air quality, but if you actually want to use it, it will cost you.
4. DonÂt share. If you are in such a hurry to move that the only way you can afford it is to "go in on" some property with another buyer, donÂt. Americans are lousy candidates for this type of financing arrangement. You may think you are a cooperative, easy-going person until Uncle Wilbur decides to clear-cut five acres so he can raise yaks. If that never happens, great, but the rest of the time the other guy usually wants out at some point, forcing you to come up with the rest of the payment or lose your home and all the work youÂve put into it. I have a collection of local horror stories to that tune.
5. Kill some trees. We are tree-huggers who moved to the woods. As we wandered around gawking at all the pretty trees, we decided where to build our first building, a 24 x 40-foot shop. By now, we were one with the trees and couldnÂt bear to part with any of them, so we sited our shop where we could take out the fewest trees.
The trees were happy but we soon saw that the approach to the garage door was too steep to be practical. And we eventually ended up taking out the trees behind the building to cut a road to the well site anyway. So we could have moved the shop back 12 feet or so to a more level spot in the first place. But here we are with an 800-square-foot building in basically the wrong place. So put your buildings where you want them and just plant a few more trees.
6. Do the wave. In the city, avoiding eye contact can be a survival skill. Congeniality can get you shot, or at the very least, panhandled.
Not so in the country. Out here, the wave is the primary social currency. Wave at everybody, whether you know them or not. If you see a guy standing by the road holding an axe dripping with blood, smile and wave cheerily. He might be butchering a deer and may choose to share some with you. You could be making meth in your basement, but as long as you wave and look friendly, people will think you are a good Joe.
If you donÂt wave, you could be Mother Theresa and everyone will think you are making meth in your basement. Which leads me to . . . .
7. You will earn a reputation. The reputation is a quaint concept that no longer applies to the concrete jungle. You can be any kind of scuzzball you want in the city and no one cares. In fact, some people think itÂs cool and theyÂll probably give you your own TV show.
Out here, you will earn a reputation whether you are a hermit who only comes out once every five years or the mayor. You can care about it or not, but if you ever want to do business, or anything else for that matter, your reputation will precede you, so consider how you want to be known. Be aware that anything you say will be held against you and it will also be spread all over town. And it is not cool to be a scuzzball in the country.
8. Guns are part of the culture. Guns are loud. In rural America, people have guns and they shoot them. You may no longer have freeway noise in your bedroom, but it could sound like the Battle of Gettysburg in hunting season.
One of the newer residents on our road is a pacifist-tree-hugger-gun-hater. The next neighbor up from her is an NRA instructor who also tests guns for the pawn shop he works in. Friction is not even the word here. But the problem is that Mr. Guns has every right to shoot all day and night if he wants to on his own land. ThatÂs probably why he lives here. And my guess is the more Ms. Tree Hugger complains about the shooting, the more shooting will happen. If you canÂt live with that concept in a rural area, you might be happier either in town, where everyone needs a toilet paper permit to you-know-what, or on a road with (shudder) codes and covenants. At least you know then that your neighbor wonÂt be raising hogs on the property line and shooting them at three in the morning.
9. PetsÂthe good, the bad, and the ugly. Out here in the hinterlands the term pet food has a whole different meaning. Sure, itÂs great to live someplace where Fifi can run free, but just remember, so do the Fifi eaters. LetÂs face it, most of us city transplants grew up on a TV diet of articulate, well-dressed animals. But in reality, cougars, coyotes, bears, and even large predatory birds are all on the lookout for a nice fat Fido or clueless cat to snack on. While the thought of Yogi Bear pick-a-nicking on my cat is too gruesome an image for me to entertain, IÂve been here long enough to know that the risk is part of the natural life of animals. On the one hand, letting our cats in at night seems to be extending their lives and on the other, IÂm sure the victims they drag home had families and jobs, too.
And on that same general topic, we had a new guy move into the neighborhood with his own personal pack of about six dogs. He thinks itÂs a good idea to let them all run free. HereÂs a little tip: Those dogs are not out at the neighbors having tea. Dogs who pack up, chase down wildlife and other peopleÂs animals, and the neighbors shoot them dead. I support that. Actually, I support shooting the owner, but one solutionÂs legal and the other isnÂt.
10. Electricity is not a fact of life. It is the luck of the draw.
We provincials, especially we of the woodlands, are the recipients of periodic phone and power interruptions. Trees fall on lines, aliens sever them with anti-matter beams. The utilities can even go out for no apparent reason in the middle of summer. Maybe itÂs just a drill. If you have big, full freezers and no backup, you will be having one hell of a steak feed that night.
We personally are off the grid, so we know when the power is out by the generator noise that resonates through our canyon. Kind of like living near a raceway. Of course, I still lose the phone at times, or it often sounds like someoneÂs crackling cellophane while IÂm trying to talk. In the winter when weÂve had six gloomy days in a row, we have to run the generator ourselves. It all evens out.
So spare yourself the trouble and learn the above lessons from these pages, not when you are sitting on your porch, owing the bank $200,000 or so, cursing your neighbors for actually driving their cars on the road past your house.
Comments (24)
20 years agolast modified: 11 years agoThere's more truth to all of the above than any city person ever realizes.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
hummm-if he didnt say he lived at 3,000 feet, i'd think he lived around us. must've driven around here anyway.-- the family with the kids and meth in the basement live just down the road. but--it must not be them, they have 12 dogs.but--from learning the hard way, dont mix with them-they ARE dangerous.
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Good points. Everythings a trade-off and I wouldn't trade the country for the city for any reason.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Re dogs on loose.
New people in country lost two dogs shot dead mauling another neighbors llamas (no loss there as far as I am concerned). Owners asked investigator "well, can I talk to the llama owners" Deputy reply "I AM the owner". Knowing her I could just see her blowing the smoke out of the barrel as she said it.
Harry K
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Oh my god! How true and accurate! We had so much to learn moving from the "Big City" Not too bad since I was from Pa. and things were much the same but with a Texas twist.
Our neighbors just drop in whenever the garage door is open(means you are receiving company) but usually come with produce or meat to share. We now do the same.. Best part is that help is always available to receive and to give.. Kit P.S. So far our reputations are pretty good - 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Many truths. But even as stated, country life is not always nearly that glamorous ... or bucolic. Two big reasons: ATVs and snowmobiles. Both are needless abominations; especialy when driven across my yard and garden, usually at about 2:30 a.m.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
I was sitting at the computer Friday evening and saw headlights down by the pond. Some fool in a jeep had come onto the back of my property (off a gas line) and was trying to climb the breast of the pond !!!! By the time I could get out the back door the idiot had figured how to go around the pond, through a gate onto the neighboring property and was gone. I sure wish that Jeep had enough power to make that climb. It woulda made a great sanctuary for the young fish to hide in.
20 years agolast modified: 11 years agoI love it! I am the one with the bad reputation.... talked with (yelled) neighbors for cutting my trees and dumping on my property. I had to kill the neighbors feral cat, and made sure the dog catchers had a talk with two of our neighbors for their dog packs running loose on our property. I am the enemy around here. I guess I won't be starting a business any time soon and I am always watching out for my animals (I have dreams of them getting a shot in the head). The meth lab is two parcels down the hill.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
My neighbors are mad at me for moving in. They are mad at me for fencing (to keep my dogs in).
I figure it's not personal. They don't want anyone here.
Maybe in 20 or 30 years they'll get over it.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
I, too, am one with a "less than rosy " reputation. We moved to this farm (that my Granddad bought in 1910) in the summer of '03. Have only one neighbor that has not attempted to claim more land than is actually theirs. These people do not realize that just because we have a bit over 200 acres we DO NOT want to give them a few hundred feet extra!
Then, there is the neighbor who has cattle but refuses to fix the fence to contain them or check to be sure that they are actually on his property.....it is pretty disconcerting to arrive home at 12:30AM and hear the snorting of his bull standing in my yard (while I am on my way into the house). Or, there is the neighbor who rents pasture during the summer months and the renter opens the gate onto our farm as our grass is not being grazed! And, there is the neighbor who wants to buy land from us to extend his farmette and resorts to making threats....."I am going to have that land one way or the other."
Am sure that you get the picture....I really am disappointed that I do not have good relations with these people but would you? This was not what I had in mind when we moved back "home".
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
This artical should be on the top of the stack of paperwork at the time of closing on any rural property. Too many people just don't have a clue.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Ditto Ditto and Ditto. But you forgot to mention the mailbox phenomena. Don't even think about that cute contry themed box because it will be smashed to smitherines in no time. Same thing with the pricey 'unbreakable' ones, just because they are indistructable doesn't mean they can't be uprooted and dropped 2 miles away. Find the cheapest box you can and learn to live with it smashed. Only replace it when it just won't function any more.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Oh boy, do I have one for you. My husband and I moved to our 8-acre place 14 years ago, which we bought direct from the previous owner who owner-financed it. Musband became the one with a less than golden reputation due to his refusal to go along and sell off 1/3 of our land to the next-door neighbor. This neighbor moved here about 25 years ago and wanted our land for next to nothing to graze his horses. Husband bowed his neck over the potential "sale" because the neighbor went behind our backs straight to the previous owner/our mortgagor who said sure, neighbor could buy it direct from him. We wouldn't have any say in the matter, and all proceeds from the sale would go to the previous owner/our mortgagor, and we wouldn't get anything. Well, we could skip our last couple of payments at the end of the 6 years remaining on the note. Could it get worse? Yes. The amount hubby and would "get" would be $1,000. Our land is worth $37,000 an acre, and this bozo actually planned to buy 2.67 acres of our land for next to nothing.
We received a letter from our mortgagor's lawyer stating all the terms and we threatened lawsuits and disbarrment. The issue just went away after that. Unbelievable nerve, don't you think?
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
How about my old sweet neighbor that lies like a dog and yes he's in his 80's but went out and moved our property markers over three feet. He has one of those antique survey things, and he thinks I fell off the turnip truck!! I saw the place he dug it up and moved it. As far as his survey machine it might work , but he's a bit wobbaly!I'm not too worried I will hire a professional to come and reclaim my land.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Belinda, I don't know about La but here in Alabama I believe it's illegal to move survey markers! Not a civil matter, but a criminal matter, prob. a misdemeanor..
Leitha
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
In Missouri "historic fences" take precedence over the new survey instruments and their "accurate" measurements. So, when they make their surveys and go beyond huge old trees with the fence wires grown several inches into them the law is on the side of my Grandfather and his neighbors who put up those fences before I was born (in the 1930's and before). But, we have had this with three sets of new neighbors now since 1996 and it is growing very OLD.
Am not one to depend on law/lawyers for support by nature but we have done our share for the attorneys here. Seems to be no other way unless we are willing to make donations to each newbie neighbor. Sad.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
And no firemen, police, EMT's, drs, hospitals, etc. When you're in trouble, you're on your own, which means that your meth buddies are pretty free-wheeling.
Did you forget the part where dozens of city cowboys come in by the car-load during hunting season, throw beer cans all over, and shoot up the place?
This is a great thread. It made me feel like I have a LOT of company.
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
What a joy to read this thread!!! We are not alone!!! We'd originally purchased 5 acres from a retired farmer who'd chopped up his farm. 20 years later, after he'd moved away, we purchased another 45 acres which was all that was left of original farm. We innocently walked into the storm of the century on our road. A bad survey had been done in the late 60's when the farmer chopped up his land. Took us several thousand $$$'s and a lot of grief to straighten out the lot lines; no one lost so much as a millimeter of land, one neighbor even gained some we gave for free to shut them up. You'd have thought we were the robber land barons of the century: we were badmouthed in three counties, had property vandalized, a nice hunting dog stolen, our little kids were menaced, we were threatened physically. These neighbors were all our "friends" until this happened. A bank, 3 lawyers and a surveyor all said we were correct.
Fortunately, the troublemakers have all retired and moved south, new neighbors are a blessing and a dream.
Would I do it all over again? You betcha, but this time, no more mr. nice guy.LOL - Ellen - 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
I think i can top "em all. 10 years ago, i bought property from our neighbor, with the agreement to let the "poor ole couple" live on it. payments were made, as well as us paying taxes on it for 9 years. then! they took us to court, said they didnt really mean to sell it-they just did it to cheat the welfare. would you believe because i had not taken possesion at closing-i lost???no taxes or money back--and the judge sent the recorder out so there wasnt a recording! and--not a thing happened to them!
- 20 years agolast modified: 11 years ago
Gardngrl: What a great post! Your very good at expressing yourself. My wife and I bought a country home 2years ago. It just kills me to leave the big city and step back into time. Yes the wave thing, kills me. We have great neighbors, but your right bad neighbors can make you move. I am in a very expensive area and when meeting the locals I don't like to tell them exactly where my house is, because then they say oh your in one of those mansions. It's not a mansion but many local people live in trailers. So when you go some where your better off being vague. But they like local residents better than tourists. Then they ask, where you live. You might as well tell them, because they want every detail and the color of the house. The also know the names of everyone and your house is named after the person you bought it from.
I love them all but they follow the beat of a different drum.
Had my farmer friend grade my driveway, I paid him. He did a nice job so I asked him if he wanted a 25" color TV I had. He looked me in the eye and said what would I do with it.
My gravel driveway needed repair and put 70 yards of gravel in it. Can be very expensive to maintain. Especially if not done properly like mine was. To drill a well by me cost $42,000.00, so you better check out what a well cost and septic, electric run to the house etc. You could drop a fast $75,000 real fast.
The locals will help you anytime you need it. Just mention you have a problem and you get offers, use of tools, wanna borrow the dozer etc.
In my opinion big city people and city life you can keep it.
We dress down and accept everyone for what they are and make no judgements. It really was a wake up call for me to see what is really important in life.
My town is about 160 people, and yes they all know everything about everyone. They like to know, where your from, what you do. But they do it in a friendly way, like breaking the ice and some small talk.
What I like if some one works on your house, they would rather take trade than cash. Great system if you have a skill or service to trade. Very handy people, can just about fix or build anything you need.
I would also recommend that you get as much land as you can afford. The last thing you want is to have a neighbor close by whey you move to gods country to get some room. I just purchased the land west of my property and I am in negotiations with the owner of the land east of me. Just want to make sure I am secluded.
Neighbor down the road has a beautiful log cabin home and someone bought the land next to him and put up a house that looks like a garage, with plastic siding and on the lot line. The guys nice and a builder from the same city Iam in but when his neighbor looks out the window he sees white plastic siding. I cannot see any homes around my house and I am going to insure I won't either.
When I first bought the house I wasn't sure how much we would use it, or would we get tired of it. Was worried that maybe this was a very expensive mistake. But we love it and I am so glad I bought it.
8 years agoJust found this old thread. Very educational! But I am not comfortable with waving at strangers though.......that's a little crazy.
socks