I lost my canning buddy :(

18 years ago

Yesterday morning after a 7 year battle with a rare disorder my Father passed away. He never got to eat that tomato sandwich that I grew the ox hearts for. He was a strong man.He wouldn't quit work until he couldn't get out of bed any longer. He was bed ridden, couldn't move anything but his head, ended up on a vent, and fought to learn to walk again.All the while tried to go into work, till he just couldn't walk. He endured weekly treatments that were like dialysis.

He was strong one day and weak the next. They tried every known treatment and nothing helped him. Some things kept him strong for a time, but the meds took a toll on his body. He suffered a ruptured colon, and had to wear a bag. Then he ended up bed ridden again, he did get strong enough to stand just a few seconds, before he ended up with an abscess, and he wasn't the same since. He was close to death so many times and he would bounce back, and say, I scared you didn't I?"

He did get to go home for a short time, but an infection since May 19th, kept him in the hospital, or nursing home since.

In the end his skin would rip off if you touched him to hard, and because of the open wounds he developed a skin infection, along with C-DIFF, the infection was so bad he started to bleed out, and was just to weak to fight any longer. He then suffered a major stroke. He fought until his last heartbeat.

I miss his laughter, he had an incredible sense of humor, considering his circumstances!

He loved that I am learning to can, and was so happy I loved to garden. He was so excited to learn that I grew him his favorite tomato.

I will miss calling to ask him gardening questions and canning Chow Chow together, he would try to help cut the veggies even though he could barely hold the knife.

Brenda, who is so, so sad.

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Comments (12)

girlsingardens
18 years ago
Brenda,

Sending loving thoughts your way. I can feel for you. My grandpa had the same kind of problems and fought to the end in the same way. It will be tough for a while but when you see all the things that you have canned you will think of your dad and all that you did together.

Stacie
prairie_love
18 years ago
Brenda, I am so sorry. I don't know you, and I'm not sure I have even crossed paths with you on these forums, but I am so sorry. I am struggling with a recent visit with my parents with both of them having deteriorated so much in the last year, and my father-in-law who has been "on hold" for years .. this is so hard ... to watch the parents get old and know we cant stop it. I am so sorry. I am in tears reading your post and I don't even know you! I am so happy though that you have the wondrful memories of canning together.

Ann
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readinglady
18 years ago
Brenda, you have my heartfelt sympathy. I hope in time your memories of your father's laughter, courage and determination will outweigh the sadder thoughts.

He left you a wonderful inheritance through his example.

Every time I make jam or pickles I sense the spirits of the women who first taught me. Your father will be your companion, always with you in garden and kitchen.

Carol
Linda_Lou
18 years ago
Brenda,
I am so very sorry. The grief you feel will lessen with time, but be sure to allow yourself to grieve. It is all part of the healing process.
I understand how sad you must feel. I lost both of my parents, my dad just a little over a year ago.
Wish there was something I could say or do to soften the heartache. Sending my deepest sympathy.
If you are able to can the food, do so. You will be thankful you did later on.

One idea for you. If you can plant a rose bush or something like that, each year it blooms, it is a pleasant reminder. I have some flower bulbs that come up in spring from my mom. She gave me the bulbs but never got to see them bloom. Then, in the backyard right now are some roses blooming that I planted in memory of my dad. They all make me feel happy when I see them and remember the love of my parents.
lpinkmountain
18 years ago
Brenda I can feel your pain. It sounds like it has been a hellish couple of years for you. There's no way to ease the grieving process, it just takes time. I'm glad you shared your story here. Please take solace in knowing that a part of your father lives on in you and always will. Hugs and heartfeld condolences.
Lpink
terrebonne
18 years ago
Brenda, I am so sorry for your loss.

Cathi
zabby17
18 years ago
Brenda, I'm so sorry for your loss. Every time you can, you'll think of your father, I know. And I personally believe he'll be looking down on you with love and pride.

None of which makes your grief any less, I am sure. Hang in there.

Zabby
booberry85
18 years ago
Brenda, I'm so sorry you lost your father. My Dad died of a stroke a number of years ago. Remember the good times you had with him and the things he taught you and he will always be with you.

Boo
Amino_X
18 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss Brenda. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.

God Bless
Amino-X
vagardengirl
18 years ago
Dear Brenda,

Although we have never crossed on these boards I wanted to tell you that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

It is so hard to watch the ones we love struggle and fade right before us. But you certainly have a wonderful Hero!

Hold tight to your memories. In the beginning the memories bring tears and a sense of longing...which you need to experience. Then the tears open the heart to loving memories. Those are your reward! And they will surround you when you least expect it.

I am so sorry that such a wonderful soul had to struggle the way your father did. May he rest in peace.

VAgardengirl
dgkritch
18 years ago
Brenda,
I am so sorry for your loss.
Know that when YOU eat the tomato sandwich, your father WILL be there with you. Then and always, he lives in your heart.
Deanna
annie1992
18 years ago
Brenda, I'm sorry to hear about your father, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Most here know that my father is my "farming supervisor" and no matter how much he makes me grind my teeth, I remind myself that he won't always be here to boss me around.

The sad memories will turn to happy memories, but it will take time. I think of Grandma, teaching me to can tomatoes and bake bread. Whenever I see a rose I think of Grandma and the tears that used to come have turned to smiles.

Until then, keep canning and remember your Dad's fighting spirit, his "never give up" attitude. It'll help you through the worst of it.

Annie