New in town, 30's, but temporarily living in retirement community

21 years ago

I don't have to have people like me. But I am wondering, all of us at this mh village have doors on the driveway side and doors on other side. our neighbor on our driveway side seems to not even want to be friendly. he seems bothered, actually. it seems like he doesn't want to have anything to do with us, and that's fine, but i wonder, if he knows we are going to say "hi" (and that's it-we don't bother), why he doesn't just go in thru his driveway door on the the otherside.

we do not watch tv, we don't have a stereo even plugged in. my husband spends all day programming; i spend all day reading and quietly crafting. there is no yard to take care of (that would be over-grown).

i am just wondering why he seems put off everytime he sees us. we do smoke about 3 cigarettes a day or so, outside. but he doesn't have his door open when we do. so we don't think that is it. we don't go out and drive in after dark (flashing headlights), we don't play car stereo loud. we have no friends because we just moved here, so we aren't bothering with company. no kids, no barking dogs.

is it our appearance? my husband has long blonde ponytail hair and glasses; i am in dire need of a hair cut and have a snaggle tooth needing to be crowned, with dark, undyed hair, and a southern drawl.

he seems to talk to our neighbors on the otherside but they (neighs on both sides) don't seem to want anything to do with us or the community, either.

is everyone just in bad moods? do they think we are slackers? did i mention we'll only be in their retire village for 3 months and then we will be far away in the mountains, probably never to see them again. i thought when the neighbors saw how quiet we were, they'd be ok with us. but i'm slowly getting to the point of crying because we haven't done nothing.

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Comments (11)

sunrochy
21 years ago
Only thing that appeared in my mind is that the residents may be wary of those who are not of the retirement age living in their community. They may be nervous that later more "underage" people may come in since they have seen that 2 "underage" people have been allowed to live in the coummunity even if it is only temporary?
spewey
21 years ago
He probably just thinks you are unecessarily paranoid.
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crackedearth
Original Author
21 years ago
he sure is short...in his responces (the neighbor). anyways, yes, i guess people are concerned that more may move in. there is a 20% allowance of 'underagers', mostly handicapped, but in the newsad we answered, it read "adult community". but anyhow. i feel concerned not really paranoid, but getting a job so i don't have to be around anyways. i love living in this adult community. no kids, no parties. it is a huge change from living in shotguns 5 feet away from each other in new orleans. we are LOVING it.
thank you so much for your kind responces. i know i was being a ninny. i just hate to 'put people out' knowing they've been here for a while and all. just didn't want to disturb anyone.
diydana
21 years ago
You said..."just wondering why he seems put off everytime he sees us."
What does he do exactly,just curious.
Some people are just weird.
Some people are just shy.
Some people have social phobias and cannot say hi.
I would bake up some cookies and send them over for the new year. Kill 'em with kindness.
You all sound fine and dandy to me.
I would welcome an email anytime from you....
I could use some fine and dandy friends even if long distance.
Keep on truckin'!
cory
21 years ago
I wouldn't worry about it esp. since it's a temp situation. You can be my neighbor, snaggle-tooth, ponytail and all :^) Ps. I lived in NO too so maybe we Were! neighbors. I was the one with all the loud parties))
Ina Plassa_travis
21 years ago
hmm. older man living by himself?

it's entirely possible that his social skills died (or just left) with his wife and he's simply got no idea how to talk to 30-somethings...

we're the babies in our 'unplanned' retirement strip (not a residential community, just a neighborhood that's gotten old) and it's taken nearly two years for them to get with the idea that DH's long hair and leather jacket didn't come with a whole bunch of OTHER longhairs in leather jackets...

or that my cobalt blue hair, tie-dyes, and such didn't mean I was going to be selling acid to their grandkids, or, as one of the ladies finally admitted 'I wasn't going to be sacrificing small animals in my back yard'...

I was tempted to bring some of our old co-workers by just to give them something to redefine 'freak' for them-

but then the dancer and her boyfriend moved in to the only rental on the block- and after 6 months of 3 AM arguements, visits from the cops, and big old harleys...

we look like angels :)

3 months isn't a lot of time to get to know people- especially old people, who have social standards that I have trouble keeping track of sometimes- and my folks are in their 80's now, so I SHOULD know how to make like a proper lady ;)

you'll be fine- don't take it to heart.
joann23456
21 years ago
Just be polite and don't worry about why he doesn't want to talk to you.
User
21 years ago
"our neighbor on our driveway side seems to not even want to be friendly. he seems bothered, actually."

"is everyone just in bad moods? do they think we are slackers?'

Uh ... how did you get from the guy next door being aloof to worrying about EVERYONE? You are reading far too much into one person's actions.
crackedearth
Original Author
21 years ago
lazygardens :-) yes, i know i skipped a few steps there. i didn't mention many other things that have gone on. it's all good, though :-)
crackedearth
Original Author
21 years ago
i'm taking cory's suggestion. i have filled up my social schedule and closing on house on monday. it is all good. i really believe our surrounding neighbors (2 on either side, and some across the way/in the village) are just simply concerned that other younger, non-polite people will move in (as was suggested up above), i totally understand. it simply isn't my problem and i have moved on. thank you all for the kind words and suggestions :-)
and joann23456, yes, we are doing that :-), thank you.
angelo_s
21 years ago
I live in a very rich and WASP filled neighborhood all my neighboors are over 50 and Im only 25 I live with my girlfriend. nobody tallked to me at first and some woman would hold on tight to there purses when I walked by. I am a very well groomed and dressed man But I stick out like a sore thumb. people would not even hold the elevator for me or if Im tyring to open up the front door and I see people in the lobby and my hands filled with groceries and Im struggling with my keys they dont even try to open the door for me. After a while of saying hello and trying to have small talk finally some neighboors responded to me It takes time to click or to fit in with people especially older people.