sweet_reverie

How has building a house affected your marriage/relationships?

sweet.reverie
April 10, 2013

During the course of building our house (which should be completed in July) many people have told me that building a house is one of the most stressful things you can do with another person. Have you found this to be true? How have your relationships suffered or improved?

For me, yes, DH and I bickered more over the last 10 months than we usually do. Luckily we have pretty much the same taste and I trust him with bigger decisions (septic placement, etc).

We also have two little people under 4. I feel most guilty about my relationship with them. There have been times I have lost patience because I HAD to be on the phone and they chose these times to act like crazy people or I have had so much on my plate, sometimes I just want to plop them in front of a movie to give my brain a rest!

I know in the long run, building this house will provide them a wonderful place to grow up, but sometimes it feels like a short, but very dark tunnel, lol.

What are your thoughts? Experiences past or present?

Comments (78)

  • sanveann

    We are very early in the process, still -- I think we've been doing good so far, but I think budget will be the stressor for us.

    My husband is normally a fairly laid-back (and rather indulgent) guy, but with so much money on the line here, even he is starting to wig out a little. I think a lot of things I would really like to do (especially in terms of trim) will have to wait. I know that's his biggest worry -- is that I'll start saying, "Oh, and we need this! And this! And this! And I can't LIVE without this!"

    And I know -my- biggest challenge will be accepting that some things will just have to wait and that our house may not look like what I'm picturing in my head until further down the road. (Which is probably for the best, because with 3 kids under 7, it wouldn't stay looking gorgeous for long!)

  • ppbenn

    My DH and I are contracting this house ourselves and now that its to drywall finally we are doing all finish work except cabinetry. We are not professional builders but have had this major remodeling "hobby" for 30 years now. We have our own business and a farm in addition to this build. So although I focus on the house full time I have about 20 hours a week where I have to be focused else ware.
    This build has had MAJOR hold ups, hurricane Sandy, and health issues, for instance but nothing we haven't been able to deal with on our own and a GC would NOT have been able to deal with better.
    That said we are so ready to be finished and are getting a bit short tempered and impatient.
    We have no "us against them" outlet; no real clear division of duties. We just both do what we need to, to "get her done".
    DH left this AM for his 6-day semi annual golf trip to Florida. Thank God he is able to go and enjoy himself. I will not be able to go anywhere until after move in day; no way could I enjoy a trip at this stage, that's just me.
    One thing that keeps us together on this project is the great home we will have when finished, the accomplishment of creating this new homestead for our family. If we get to paying attention to what others, extended family/friends think of our madness, well then we can get a little sideways. Some acquaintances have distanced themselves from us. Not sure what that's all about but we are focused on this build so don't have as much time.
    A this stage of life we have come through many other stressful time periods that we have had no control over. Illness, disasters, economic downturn; this building a house is in some ways what we have control over and to be cherished as such.

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  • arctic2algarve

    I know tis is an old thread but i thouht id add my view. I am English and live in Portugal , my advice , go north. The Portuguese cant build and have no pride on their work. We have taken two years to get from seeking an architect to breaking ground. At the start the architect, a prize winning, German with an established practice and membership of the RIBA estimated the extention and re modeling at €181,000 and said the planning would take a year then a year to build. It took two years to get planing and the cheapest quote was 300k. By the time the pp had come through we had spent 20k on fees and permissions. We felt like abandoning the project but had commited so much time and money and bought extra land that we asked for a better builders quote and reductions in spec. We eventually agreed on 244k and signed contracts with a builder. Jis first job was to build a 60m2 decking for a luxury tent we were going to live in during the 14mth build. The builders turned up with no extension leads, I lent mone. Internal ply when i had specified marine. Too few support post of too small a dimension. No timber was tanalised / pressure preserved. Timbers were supportedby thin screws and no joist hangers. Ply wood layed without expansion gaps and inadequately fixed. So the builder has a 24k deposit ( yes I checked this is how they all do it, deposit up front) he can't even lay a good deck and he has with tax and fees a 300k designer architect project to build. Some more context. The RIBA architect told us upon getting pp that she doesn't oversee the build were effectively on our own. The council though charging large fees carry out no inspections, they insist on 5k worth of engineering details but make no checks that your complyong just make a final completion check to collect another tax.

    So here I am at the start of the job and its already broken me. Just this morning I find a mess of hardened concrete in my hedge where a worker has cleaned our a wheelbarrow, my barrow by the way, borrowed without asking and contents dumped in a hedge my wife and I cut , pruned and cared for only last weekend. And before you comment. Yes we have talked nicely, had meetings, been assertive taken chilled water to and a beer at the end of the day and all to no avail. They seem nice guys I'm sure they are but this is another country and I am lost.......

  • zorroslw1

    I also know this is an old thread, but I hope galore2112 reads this.

    "Write checks and pick out paint colors?". HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ! It's obvious you have never built a house! That cracks me up.

  • worthy

    Remind me never to build a house in Portugal!

    I often say that my battered chequebook is my most essential building tool. And that's not a joke.

    Some posters here are actually diy first time contractors trying to adapt to a new world.

    But the stress even the cheque-writers put themselves through is real. One morning, I woke to frantic knocking on my front door. A couple who I was building for had gone by the site and were convinced something horrid was about to happen. Instead of speaking to my construction super there, they rushed over to my house. It was absolutely nothing. Eight months of that. On the final inspection, they spent half the time disagreeing with each other about "defects." Should have looked in the mirror!!

    The first time mrs. worthy saw our first new build was when it was finished. The second build, she came over twice during construction.

  • Terry Watson Jr.

    My wife and I owned our 1st home together for 10 years. We wanted to sell our home and move to the country. My wife had her mind set in not living in a zero lot neighborhood. I went along. We sold our home and lost a little on the sale. My wife promised it would be worth it later. She and her parents worked up the idea for us to move in with them until We could find something. We looked for a home that was in our budget and everything was going fast as soon as we found it. My wife stated that building would be more affordable and we would get what we wanted. I was very skeptical but went along. That's how this marriage has worked. She wants I say ok. After 13 months of living in a small bedroom of her parents home with everything we owned it 2 storage units, we now have found 2 acres that we borrowed money to purchase. The loan is $200 a month. We found a builder out of 3 that we got estimates from. Ok, we found the one we likes. Price was right, he @nd his wife seemed to be good hard working Christian people. We got a loan for the house build. After almost 5 months, everything we know has gone wrong. We have fought so hard to make things work up to this point. Fighting, stressing out over being over budget on everything because the builder under bid on a lot of stuff. We have taken on the clean up, the landscaping, we layed the flooring in upstairs room ourselves, cut corners everywhere. House is within 3 weeks of being done. We are still over budget by 4,600.00. She pulled as much from here 401k as they allowed. That paid for the dozer and crushed concrete for driveway. Now I'm going to do the same with my 401k loan. With us being over budget I'm looking at using all 2,900 of loan,plus our income tax to possible make this work. We are stressed to no end from cutting corners, working every weekend and after work some days. We are not doing well. I want to walk out.....she doesn't want the house. This is only because we have been so stressed. We do love the house. We are not even sure if when we finally finish if we can even afford it all. With the loans, maxed out budget, etc. I think our marriage and this build is on a crash course. We need help and I'm not sure where to turn or what to do besides pray. Maybe in 2 months I can come back and update this post to if we are still married and are in the house. That's my story, praying we can just hold on.

  • just_janni

    ^^^ I really feel for you. It's hard when something becomes this "all consuming" - of time, energy, resources ($).

    I don't have any words of wisdom - as I am in the "middle" of a long, hard, expensive build myself. It sucks. But try to focus on how much you do care about each other - and that this was meant to make your life better. It WILL end.

    Keep talking to each other too - you sound like you are likely stronger together than apart - so talk about the "situation" and try not to create blame - but share your concerns. it's helpful and cathartic.

    Consider yourselves virtually hugged.

  • madpebs87

    Hope things work out!!!! that's why we have put a wonderful piece of property in golden isles of Ga up for sale. We are great together but the thought of building and things that need to be done, uuughhh. I read to many horror storys on here, yes many are great accomplishments but oh the bad ones scare the bajesus out of me for the same things your going through.

  • Terry Watson Jr.

    Thanks for The comments. All of this does help.

  • cpartist

    I too am in the middle of a nightmare build. In our build just about every single thing has gone wrong. And we started 3 years ago with stars in our eyes. We got our permits in October of 2016 and are still not in.

    The thing to try and remember is it's just a house. You and your spouse are what make a home and that doesn't change whether you're living temporarily in your MIL's basement or in that beautiful new home.

    Can either of you maybe take on some temporary extra work maybe one day on the weekend doing anything to try and make up the overage? Dog walking? Baby sitting? Waitressing? Bartending? Or freelancing using your work skills? I know that's not ideal, but at least if you know it's a temporary situation until you just get back the extra you weren't expecting?

  • txcook

    We lost our home of 21 years in Houston to Hurricane Harvey. 3 feet of nasty water in there for a week caused too much damage to repair. And then there was the mold. It had never flooded before in its 54 year old life. Within the prior year we had done “the last remodel”, and planned to be carried out feet first. My husband very much wants to rebuild on our lot and I just want my life back. But I will walk down this road with him for now (while still scouring the real estate market for something he will agree to move to!). I know God has a good plan for us, but whoever said to expect the unexpected was right! I appreciate the comment from rwiegand about deciding it would be fun and keeping the perspective that none of this is life altering in the big sense! Coming up on 38 years in April and I want to grow old with him. Thanks for everyone’s input. I spent so much time on Gardenweb during a big remodel 15 years ago. Looks like I am back!

  • ILoveRed

    God bless you Terry. It's just a house. Sell the damn thing for what you can get out of it and move thee to an apartment and start over. Get both of you out from under the albatross that you have created and do not rob your retirement accounts for something that has destroyed you and your marriage.

    thinking of you.

  • Mark Hedrick

    We are in the process of building, have received pricing from 3 different contractors, and are in the very beginning phase, this is our first build, kid's are grown and are not living with us, we are both retired and can do all the running around that needs to be done. I'm sure this is going to be stressful but I hope in the long run everything we both envision will become a reality. (and staying within budget) I will come back after the build with pictures and hopefully have some input as to how building a home together and staying together works out. Pray for us. :)

  • Terry Watson Jr.

    Since I am past that point I will give you just a tad bit of advice make sure that you have some money somewhere so that you can use for the overages because they will have them for sure. Good luck

  • DLM2000-GW

    Oh Terry I do feel for you. There is nothing I've found to be as stressful as building a house with the exception of having a child in ill health or in trouble. I don't have any advice to help with your financial constraints and agree with ILoveRed that if selling is an option it's worth considering. No dream is worth your marriage or your health. That said, there's an undercurrent in your post - subtle but troubling - that you're pinning this on your wife. My wife had her mind set in not living in a zero lot neighborhood. I went along. We sold our home and lost a little on the sale. My wife promised it would be worth it later. She and her parents worked up the idea for us to move in with them until We could find something. We looked for a home that was in our budget and everything was going fast as soon as we found it. My wife stated that building would be more affordable and we would get what we wanted. I was very skeptical but went along. That's how this marriage has worked. She wants I say ok. Now maybe that's just the stress of the moment talking and if so just be aware how poisonous holding those beliefs can be even if it's just for a moment. But if you're really blaming her and not owning your acquiescence as equal in the decision then you're being unfair to her and not being honest with yourself. And carrying that into a new house that you already know will continue the financial stretch will keep it from ever being the home you dreamed of. That's 36 years of marriage talking and we've seen our share (and then some!) of times and issues that tested us beyond what we thought survivable. In the end, you have to want her and your marriage more than you do a house. I wish you luck but even more than that I wish you a peaceful heart.

  • Pinebaron

    X5: Fifth home build. Feel bad for my DW, yep this one is stressful for her but she's hanging on, just a very long build; she'll be happy when it's done.

  • One Devoted Dame

    That said, there's an undercurrent in your post - subtle but troubling - that you're pinning this on your wife.

    I read Mr. Terry's story in just about the opposite way you seem to have, DLM. With the information presented, I view her as having the lion's share of responsibility for causing the stress -- I just get the feeling that he'd be "damned if he did, damned if he didn't," regardless.

    Of course, none of us will really know, so my speculation is worth just as much as anyone else's, lol.

    Hugs to you, Mr. Terry. Lots of 'em.

  • DLM2000-GW

    That's my point, ODD - due to the way the info is presented he appears (to me) to be blaming her or holding her responsible and that may or may not be his aim. Unless he had a gun to his head, he was a party to these decisions and bears a degree of responsibility as well. But that's history and what matters now is how he frames and holds their shared options and actions going forward. They come first, the house a distant second.

  • Suru

    Mr. Terry, I feel so bad for you. My husband and I are in the midst of one of those hard builds and it can definitely take a toll. Your house looks lovely in the picture and it looks like you are just about there. I hope when you move in everything will work out for you.

  • mushcreek

    Terry-prayers for you and your situation. I hope it all resolves itself soon!

    I'm reporting back to this thread after almost 5 years ( I was flgargoyle back then). My wife landed a good local job in September of 2013, and we sold our FL house and moved here permanently. Sounds great, but the house wasn't done, and we camped in the basement, doing the best we could to stay warm with the main floor not finished or insulated. I kept plugging along, the house got done, and found a job. We LOVE everything about our new house and new location! Retirement is right around the corner now, and it feels good to be in a solid house that doesn't need anything, and is fully paid for.

    Looking back, the main source of stress were the inspections every 6 months. It wasn't the inspections themselves, but trying to hide the fact that we were living in the house without a Certificate of Occupancy. We would have to move all evidence of living here out to the barn, undergo the inspection, then move all of our stuff back in the house. Needless to say, with lived with the barest of essentials until we finally got our CO in October of 2015.

    Throughout the process (4 years) my wife never complained, argued, or questioned my ability to build an entire house mostly single-handed. We never even set a budget, simply buying what we needed when we needed it, all the while being extremely frugal. Somehow, we made it, often against the advise of others. Our financial advisor was vehemently against it, saying we would 'never succeed'. I guess he doesn't know me very well!

  • strategery

    Halfway through my full custom. Very stressful and hard on marriage! I will never do full custom again.

  • Terry Watson Jr.

    One Devoted dame and DLM, I really appreciate the post from everyone. Yes I was very stressed that night I wrote that post. I look back and feel I was pretty harsh in blaming my wife for things she had no way of knowing the outcome. I am embarrassed by my lack of reserve in that post. I love her unconditionaly and she loves me the same. Before this house build we have only been in a hand full of arguments the entire 10 years of marriage. We will succeed because our love is stronger than ever and our friendship is the best. For every single one of your posts, I want to say thanks for the kind words and prayers. I to will say a prayer for each and every one of you to overcome any obstacles that come your way as well. Sincerely, Terry W.

  • mgh_pa

    I haven’t even started our build and I’ve considered pulling the plug already and just buying a home (although we had been looking for 5+ years before acquiring this land with no luck). Not so much due to the stress (it’s just a house after all...too many people place too much importance on it), but for the financial aspect. I would love to be able to retire before 50, and that’s actually a possibility if we’re smart about our money. I’m slowly coming to the realization that there’s nothing financially smart about building new. It’s always going to cost much more than to buy, but you’re paying a premium for customization and often, location. Something we have to weigh as to whether it’s an absolute must for us.

    In the end, we will probably still end up building, and if/when that time comes, I sure hope it’s not as bad as it is for some of you.

  • DLM2000-GW

    Terry I completely understand how stress sometimes does the talking - we've all been there. Now go give that woman a hug and tell her everything is going to be ok because you're in it together.

  • HU-891879179

    We’re almost done and it hasn’t been near as bad as ppl say. Btw, I’m the lady, if that frames this answer better. I think if you’re young and haven’t been through a lot together yet, it will reveal all the “cracks” in your relationship, but that’s not a bad thing at all. Learn how to REALLY compromise, not just hush up for fear of offending then be filled with resentment down the road. Remember that this house needs to be comfortable for BOTH of you. Don’t be one of these tacky people who make their husband put all his favorite things in boxes. An old Nirvana poster or Lord of the Rings figurine is not going to destroy the decor of an entire house. As for budget, I had to remind myself often that what mattered was having a functional home, and that the money should go to things like good plumbing before it goes to, say, a chandelier. In the stores I would remind myself that never once in my life have I ever looked up at a ceiling and thought, “that fan is HIDEOUS!” Most of the small things you’re looking at now, you’re not going to pay that much attention to once they’re installed. So I kept that in mind, because debt makes a marriage harder.

  • worthy

    After three new homes in nine years, it's not building a new home that has driven mrs. worthy to distraction. That, and the peeling, leaking and general decrepitude she lives with. The house too!

  • Jelly Perny

    When my last husabnd and I built our house, it was a really stressful period. We quarreled quite often. And they decided to get a divorce. Yes, it was a difficult period. Therefore, I finished building the house myself.

  • skippypicket

    We just finished building a house....and it was very stressful. I don’t know how other people did it, but ONE person usually makes all of the decisions and the other one gets to complain!

    Make sure you are both on the same page about building a house. It’s going to cost 25% more than what you've saved for. If you planned financially-good...then be prepared for the move. It’s going to be great, but hard to transition.

    The house isn’t going to be perfect...lower your expectations and enjoy it.

  • kriii

    We were fortunate that building didn't affect the relationship negatively. There were a few disagreements and worries but nothing that couldn't be smoothed over. Believe it or not, there were several things that happened in our lives apart from the build that became a bigger worry, to the point that the house was the least of our problems. That put a perspective on the build that we might not have otherwise had. We were also very fortunate that our builder is excellent and easy to work with.

  • Pinebaron

    There is or rather was stress even after we moved in and much of the build was done since a fair bit was left to do. Now a little over ten months later, everything (except my man cave) is done, home is fully furnished, all bits and pieces that make a home are in place, rarely does a day go by when my DW does not compliment something or the other in our home; I call that a win. We hosted the annual residents HOA meeting in our home on Saturday, which was a hit, residents got to see the inside of our home (or palace as a couple of them called it) for the very first time. Then yesterday DW invited a bunch of her close co-workers to the house since too much food was left over from Saturday and she wanted to reveal where she lived and her Co-workers had no idea about anything, and that was a hit too. DW is over the moon, she no longer complains the house is too big, no longer complains about the excesses on the build, etc. We are now stronger than ever even after 41 years; life is good.

  • Kitty Rocha

    it has affected mine greatly. we've christened every room!

  • PRO
    Mark Bischak, Architect

    That's either very bad or very good.

  • fissfiss

    Regarding the darling children....My Beloved at age 11 and his family moved into their home when it was watertight....it took 7 years to finish, and he learned many valuable skills. We have lived through 3 kitchens remodels, two bath remodels, one whole townhouse gut and remodel (the only one we did not have to live in!) and a new build ski house where we camped as a family in the basement every weekend during ski season because it was not ready and the dog was not welcome at the hotel! We have two girls, who grew up with construction as a concept. As a result, they both bought fixer uppers, and were able to cope with their own projects...one bought a loft style (as in bad 80’s office space!) condo that needed everything! She is about to sell it at a very nice profit and is moving onto a vintage 1964 mid mod in the suburbs....another fixer.
    Her younger sister is now a landlord, renting out her condo, having moved on to a wee hoose with a garden for her big black dug (she’s in Scotland!) Kids are very adaptable, and learning to be patient while Mom and Dad get stuff done is a valuable life skill...and the TV exists for exactly this kind of stuff!

  • poorgirl

    We have been gutting a house that we are living in and doing 80% of the work by ourselves . We having been building for 2 years now and have another year to go.
    I love everything we do because seeing the result of ripping out a wall or doing anything is quite satisfying. I miss my friends and any other thing I used to do before we started renovating., matter of fact I don’t even know what people do on weekends if they aren’t renovating !
    Yes we argue yes we play the blame game when things go wrong, when you live in construction it takes 2 times as long to renovate, I wouldn’t recommend living in it,
    we are also only working on weekends.
    Not often do we go to bed mad, but I do find that that’s all I can talk about and not many people care or want to lend a hand, is just us .

  • roccouple

    So much depends on your builder. We got very lucky with ours and we are about a month from done. And it hasn’t been bad. It’s sort of like having to do tax returns monthly. Just stuff to decide and get through and keep track of. work and time, sometimes tedious. More exciting than tax returns but similar in that there just stuff to do and so many details to juggle.

  • Buzz Solo

    Hal and I are s now a little over 2 years into our build and things didn't start out as perfect as I would like. I woke up one morning and discovered he had decided on the final shape of our house without me, (assuming, I believe, that I had said sure go with that L-shape when I thought we were still discussing a square house,) and ordered the shell from the pole barn company.


    Also we apparently didn't realize while sitting in the car on the build site and looking at the view from the back of the house, that he was looking more to the east and I was looking more to the south. Since he was the one that called and paid the guy to grade the hill, he would not change it, so I am stuck with a backyard that faces east/southeast rather than south/southeast.


    Oh well.


    However since then, things have gone fairly smoothly though occasionally one of us will get, shall I say, a little strident when things aren't going as well as we hoped. But we don't go to bed mad and don't blame each other. I do tend to push to get things done a little more often than he does, (otherwise the windows would have been ordered very late).


    Maybe it also makes a difference that we aren't together 24 hours every day of the week. He stays at his mom's house a lot, just 3 miles away from the build while I go home at night because of my dogs. It will be interesting to see how we go forward though with the stress that we haven't been able to sell our current house, (market in northeastern MI still hasn't recovered from the crash more than a decade ago,) so we are basically out of money to construct the interior.


    Could be a long and frustrating next few years.


  • PRO
    Jeffrey R. Grenz, General Contractor

    Since 1996, at least 75% of my custom clients have remained in their homes.

    When the process is done properly it's a project that they have worked on together.

  • Pinebaron

    To everyone here: get at least two really large pieces of Black tourmaline rocks and place one in your primary area like family room/kitchen and another in your bedroom, I use the second one in my office. It works well for us, negativity and disagreements reduced by 95%, I could not believe how well it worked for us, two extremely strong personalities. I managed to locate and purchase these large natural rocks while we were vacationing in Spain last June, these are around 6"x2"x2". If you can't find large ones, buy a few smaller ones and put them in a flat dish or something.

    I did other things too, to improve our luck and so far it's working.



  • DLM2000-GW

    Pinebaron I must say, your last post surprises me. I don't know you (obviously) but would never put you in the woo-woo crystals camp! Now before anyone jumps down my throat, that is said mostly tongue in cheek. I pretty much don't discount anything spiritual/mystical - if it works for you in your life who am I to say otherwise? A dear friend is WAY into it, arranging specific crystals with the moon and other astrological changes and I do scratch my head but it has meaning to her. I'm curious what prompted you to incorporate this in your home.


    Buzz Solo you deserve a medal. Already 2 years in, some significant decisions that are not what you wanted, a difficult housing market..... and you still come here to report your progress on the build thread and be a cheerleader for everyone else even when their builds zoom past yours. Hopefully frustrations will not be as significant as you anticipate going forward.

  • Pinebaron

    @DLM2000-GW No I was never in a woo-woo crystals camp ever; then tried and it helped. Why not! We moved across the country and it was primarily my desire to build an even larger home designed from the ground up by us, and DW had to make a million decisions, all this caused a lot of stress particularly when it was a two year build, I worked a lot out of state and she'd have to come and review the work and report issues back to me, a lot of stress indeed 'due to my build and exacting standards'.

    However I'd do anything to make my other half feel better. Then while on a trip to Spain, in Malaga, in an open market I saw a vendor selling all sorts of stones and I was looking for a black stone for decorations when I discovered that one and read about it and bought two of the largest ones the vendor had. I put my disbelief's aside and brought them home, put them up and the rest is history. What can I say, she's a happy camper now; sheer coincidence? Perhaps but I'm not testing it.

  • mushcreek

    I found that conspicuously cleaning my .357 revolver kept arguments to a minimum.

  • Pinebaron

    @mushcreek LOL

  • Buzz Solo

    mushcreek, lol, that wouldn't work for either of us as we both know how to use guns but, I also know how to break kneecaps from all those karate classes I took, assuming I can get within reach, DH is 7 inches taller than me. ;-)


    DLM2000-GW, I hope things improve soon, till then we will keep plugging along. In the meantime I am doing lots of research on counter materials and fireplaces, appliances, etc. And fiddling with the floor plan. Every so often I get AN IDEA. (cue DH rolling his eyes.)


    Pinebaron, if it works I won't knock it. I'm starting to think I need to get one of those St Joseph statues to bury upside down in my yard. I'm ready to try anything to get this house to sell. (Short of dropping it another $40k). There must be someone else out there who would like to live in a knotty pine house in the middle of a cedar swamp in northeastern Michigan!

  • Pinebaron

    @Buzz hope you sell your home soon; wishing you best of luck one way or another.

  • mgh_pa

    I have found that finding a common enemy in our builder has helped create a unified front with each other. We're too busy being stressed out with our builder to get mad at each other. We're just anxious for when he is done and we can take over and do things correctly.

  • Pinebaron

    mgh_pa: then one day its such a relief when its all over and we don't have to plan the next argument, chat or estimate with the builder.

  • PRO
    myricarchitect

    From the beginning my DH accepted that the house is never done and never will be done. All he asks is that 1 project be truly complete before starting another (no unfinished loose ends dragging out for months/years).

  • Architectrunnerguy

    From the beginning my DH accepted that the house is never done and never will be done. All he asks is that 1 project be truly complete before starting another (no unfinished loose ends dragging out for months/years).

    A finished house is a listed house.

  • PRO
    Mark Bischak, Architect

    Along that same thought process: The best time to sell a house is the day the construction is finished.

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