I'm sorry, Shannon. I know how hard it is to have to wait, when you think you can actually feel the cancer growing inside you.

I wish I could help you allay your fears. Try not to be so angry at the idiots in the world; there too many of them! It probably felt good to vent about it here; now you must try to relax and force good thoughts, or at least empty thoughts, instead of angry ones. Cancer is a hideous thing, and I wish you and your family all the best.

Sherry

DONE!I think you will find little discomfort post surgery with a lumpectomy at least that was my experience- did not need tylenol- but everyone is different.
Tomorrow will be a good day for you, no matter the outcome, the process to being cancer free will have begun and that is the most important thing.

Blessings to you, Shannon, and your DH as you work through this. I'll pray for the best possible result of your surgery. I'm glad you have such a supportive DH.

Why the twits of the world feel that medicine is their calling is beyond me.

Good luck and prayers to you and your great sounding husband. :)

I think Parma said it perfectly and I ditto that! Prayers and positive thoughts are being sent your way.

Hoping that the surgery goes much more smoothly than the scheduling (how can it not?). What a dummy the scheduler is - how can she *not* know how important is to schedule cancer surgery ASAP??? Your Dh's letter should get some attention to her bad attitude - and either she'll correct it or her boss will take care of her.

I didn't have cancer, but did have some tumors removed years ago - don't lift anything! I was black and blue but nothing Tylenol couldn't help. Can you type left-handed? At least keep right hand close to your side while you give us an update, if you can't just use left.

Oh, shannon, where are you? I hope the weather doesn't cause any problems!

My prayers go with you. Hoping your request is granted!

tina

I will keep you in my thoughts as you enter this unknown territory. It sounds like you and your DH are a wonderful strong team and that counts for so much. c

((((Shannon and DH)))) Energies for strength and banishment of that cancer coming from the PNW. Your description of why you wanted your DH to be the first one you see and hear made me cry. A bond like that is truly a blessing, something to celebrate every day. It sounds like you all do. We know nothing of what each day can bring, but you all *do know* that you have each other as pillars of strength for whatever may come. Many people have weddings, but too few are truly married, to paraphrase ol' anti-semitic Braveheart...

I'm also sending hope that you can not give another *second* of energy to that idiot scheduler. She's not worth it and can be dealt with later, if you feel like it. Make your focus about your DH and your dear children, and how your body is strong and and the lymphnodes are completely clear.

And of course energies for your surgeon's skill. How wonderful that you have a female surgeon! Please update us as you can.

I wish you all the best; keep us posted when you can.

Prayers and best wishes going out to you, Shannon, your DH, and your surgeon. Mend quickly.

Shannon; sorry to just blow in here.. I wish I had more time to post but I have to get out of here to do errands before the snow.

Read the link below; it has a few stories of breast cancer patients. I don't know how you feel about your surgeon - does she work with oncologists? If it was me; I would go to an oncologist; and after dealing with the staff at this place would have told them to forget it. You want someone that knows what they are doing with cancer.

If you are going to need radiation; you also want someone that knows what they are doing.

Hugs. I want to slap the person you spoke to on the phone.

Shannon- I like your attitude! I'll remember you in my prayers and I wish you a speedy and uneventful recovery. Your surgeon needs to speak with the other docs about how their staff handled the scheduling. That's unprofessional even if they're not used to handling more serious cases. Good luck tomorrow.

I would slap that woman for you! Best of luck to you--I hope the surgery and the recovery go smoothly.

Sending you my prayers that your lymph nodes are free of cancer.

I would be furious too at that stupid scheduler. But try to let it go now, she is inconsequential. What is important is you and your family.

But let your DH write the letter. Waiting is "a big deal" when you have cancer. And if she doesn't understand that, she needs to find another line of work.

The scheduler is a disaster, no doubt. However, as horrible as the delay is mentally, unless you have one of the rare fast-growing cancers, the time has not hurt your health, so try to focus on that.

I wish you a simple surgery, a quick and complete recovery, and good news about the outcome at all levels. I don't need to wish you courage, as it is clear you have that in abundance.

To reply...

I am in Nor Cal, had my last snowboarding day this past weekend. It was sunny and snow fluffy. No weather to stand in my way.

I love Braveheart!!! That is the kind of love we have. Everlasting.

Surgeon's resume is fabulous. She lives and breathes breasts. Unfortunately, moving to a new city she is not hooked up to any oncology/radiologist group yet like she had in other city. Most oncology/surgeons we looked at did not have strong enough breast backgrounds. May be a great oncologist but when they mostly do gastric surgery that just was not for me. We are free to choose our own onc/rad and have selected a group that recently joined forces where initially they were separate. It will now be more of a team effort. Since dh is in medicine we did some pretty thorough checks into the treaters we have chosen. We even checked into the hospital we have to use, heard the food was pretty good.

I did not worry about whether I had female surgeon or not but I think I am glad she is a she. My onc will be a male and the radiologist a female. The initial surgeons recommended to me by my ob were males, one old another too young. They probably golf together. Neither of them specialized in breasts but do operate on them. Yeah, no thanks.

I am so past the scheduler and only wish she gets it figured out. DH will make my follow up appts with her so we don't get any crap from her. I did just need to vent. So thanks for letting me.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts from so many who I have decorated with in the past and the new ones too. I have learned that everyone heals differently so I will take it each day. I am real good about following doctors orders, plus my dh is watching my every step. He even reminded me to bring my durable power of attorney and health care directive just in case he needs it.

I packed a change of clothes, eyeliner and my brush. I don't plan on staying long enough to brush my teeth, but my hair and eyes will get done. And fresh skivys of course!

I can already feels the good vibes coming my way. Peace out!

From "the land of the Ice & Snow..." (Fargo, ND)
(Led Zepplin lyric-piece there...!)

All the best to you, your medical-team, and family!!

Faron

I hope it all went well and surgery is atleast over with. Bysides the fact that you had to deal with someone who has no business dealing with the public......I am wishing you peace, good results and many blessings from now on. You are in my thoughts Shannon and wonderful husband. When you get results, please let all know...we are praying for you.

XXX fingers...I hope all went well and that you have your hair brushed and eye liner in place...oh...and the fresh skivvies !!!! c

God bless you and keep you in His care during this surgery and after. May you be free of the cancer forever. My prayers are with you.

Shannon; glad to read you checked her out; I wasn't sure and figured I'd rather post what I did just in case instead of not saying anything.

Hope your surgery went well.

Yipee! What a day. Went to nuc med at 8am and hospital was not sure why I was there. Nuc med was expecting me but not admissions?? They light up the nodes for the surgery. Sounds like the scheduler???

Left nuc med to go to get the blue dye put into the mass over at the MRI dept. They had my name but did not know why I was there. Tech came out and said that she could do it but had no orders. Sounds like scheduler again. Scheduler specifically told my husband where to go and what for. I guess the dye can be done by surgeon sometimes and that is what doc decided to do. Guess her schueduler screwed up and never bothered to let us know. So basically I did not even need to see the nuc dept until say noon instead of 8am. So doc called and told me to just go to hospital and get checked in.

Checked in at 11am. Went to room to get prepped for surgery, iv and such. DH stayed in room with me and we watche history channel. At 12 they said prior surgeons were behind schedule so I was looking at 3pm instead of 2pm. 3pm they said about another 30min. 4pm the doc came in and we chatted prior to surgery.

DH then had to leave. He had not eaten since breakfast and I worried about him getting hypoglycein so we told him to go get something.

I got into OR and next thing I know I got blurry vision and that was last I remember. I woke up and said "Hey, this isn't the OR". They all laughed. Surgeon came over and told me that everything went really well. The sentinal node looked great and the mass was smaller than original estimates, which a stage 1 is 1-2cm and stage 2 is 2-5. I was just under a 2cm hopefully. They still have to test all the junk but the chances of it coming out bad is like only 2%. The olds are in my favor but I still leave myself open for that slim chance.

I had literally no side effect of anesthetic and doc was so impressed she told me I needed to go home!!! I was so happy to hear that. The nurses told her I even recalled speaking with her right after surgery which a lot of people are too groggy to recall. We went home just before 7pm.

My sis took my kids out to dinner and we got home before they did. It was great. DH went and picked up my norco but I only took half a pill just to make sure I did not wake up in pain. No pain. Slept well. DH slept well too!

My only complaint so far is that I can only sleep on back which is making my ribs and kidneys sore. My armpit is a little achy when I move around but overall no biggy.

I have my follow up next Tues and should have the lab results by then. Due to my age and all my other factors chemo is a given. That with radiation decreases my recurrance rate significantly.

So today dh is working on taking out the fence that blew down and hopefully will have it rebuilt before he goes back to work. DS has softball tryouts Sat and hopefully dh will go kayaking Sunday. Life goes on and this is just part of our lives right now.

Today I look forward to him washing my hair for me today. Since I am righthanded and it was my right breast that is a task I need help with. It will be like when we camp, we always wash each other's hair when camping. He probably won't be able to use the curling iron, I probably would rather he not even try even if he offers. Today is sunny so all is good.

Thanks so much for ALL the support. Funny how a little decorating site brings so many strangers together to become friends. Pretty cool if you ask me.

Oh Shannon - good for you! It sounds like the most important parts went well.

As to the hospital screw-up, I believe hospitals operate under the same principles as the military - SNAFU (situation normal, all fouled up - altho the military uses a stronger "f" word). My DH was called & asked to report early since they were ahead of schedule. He ended up waiting around - with nothing to eat or drink for 12 hours - and not going into the OR until an hour and half after the originally scheduled time. Yeesh.

Here's to you and smooth sailing from here on!!!

I'm so glad to hear the progress report! Even at the most cynical, 2% chance is definitely "guardedly optimistic" territory :)

You've got a great, inspiring attitude, shannon. Hang in there and take this in stride with your fabulous husband there to help you (I think he should get a g'web DH award -- can we start a G'web HD DH-Auxiliary Honor Roll? There are a few I'd recommend for inclusion already based on meritorious service under pressure :))

I love how you feel so taken care of, that you can just let go and know your DH is there and will handle whatever is needed - that's your best medicine. I went through a biopsy a few years ago (and a few other medical things over the years!) and have the same kind of DH who just takes care of me. Glad to hear your very promising report.

Shannon:
So glad to hear the update, and the mostly positive prognosis. I also admire your attitude. Your husband is so sweet, and he will probably offer to use the curling iron; I know mine would. But, like you, I don't see a happy outcome coming from a man holding a hot stick coming toward my hair/face.:)
Dee

So glad to hear the good news!

If your DH is like mine, he would offer to try the curling iron, but would be relieved when I turned him down.

I'm SO glad to hear your great news!!

This 48-y/o DH is praying for you and your family from Fargo, ND. Godspeed to you all.

ps...I know how to turn on a curling-iron!!!!?

Faron

What a good update, glad it went well after all; keep on resting !!

Shannon - who knows if it was the scheduler or just regular hospital "snafu". I'm glad all turned out well! Keep us posted on your progress. And don't lift anything this week!

(I wouldn't trust my DH with a curling iron -or scissors - either)

A great report, Shannon! Your attitude and positive spirit are inspiring.

Bandages off and fresh shower felt real good. I personally think dh took a tiny bit of joy in inflicting pain while removing the bandages. He says going fast is better. Maybe for him, that skin on your chest is very tender especially on a thin person. It felt like being burned. I think he was just paying me back for all the times I irritate him- lol! Actually it was not that bad.

The steri strips are in place and all looks great. Armpit is sore from having the node out but only because it is in a movable part of the body. No signs of hemoraging at all. I am being careful to not lift anything and take breaks from using the arm too much.

Dh said it was nice to see me up and about but mostly all clean and pretty again. He really wishes he could just snuggle all day with me watching movies and knows I am bored. I offered to sit outside in the sun and give him my two cents while he builds the fence. He passed on the offer. As much as he likes be back to normal, I think he enjoyed the down time too. lol

I'm so glad you're doing well, Shannon! Hoping you'll continue to feel better with each passing day.

I am so happy to hear that it went so well. Sending you lots of healing wishes!

Well, final results are in. I am on the good side of bad is how I like to say it.

The entire mass was 1.6cm, 2 would have put me into a Stage 2. So I am in the high end of Stage 1.

They ended up taking out 6 rather than just three nodes because some were clumped together. One was fine, two together were fine, the three clumped together had two fine and one with some bad juju. Not horrible, but bad. Not sure if it leaked in during surgery or procedures, not enough to worry about and go in to take out more nodes. So 1 out of 6 when they normally only test 3 is fine with me.

There is some other ranking based on this and the mass itself was ranked a 3/3 which is worst kind. But they got the whole thing out of me and that is fine with me.

Overall all the factors puts me in what they call Stage 1B. The bad side of stage 1 but it sure beats being on the good side of Stage 2 which we initally thought I was in.

Planned on chemo because of size but now with that little bit in the one node I definitly will have chemo. My surgical recovery looks good so I can get referred to the oncologist and hopefully see him after 2 more weeks of surgical recovery.

I am known for finding the good in a bad situation. This is a bad situation but I cannot do anything but deal with it and get on with whatever life I have. I refuse, flat out refuse to do anything but get on with living. I will not spend the next 10yrs worrying about myself. What comes on comes on. It would be a shame to be given 50 more years to breath and have wasted it worrying. So on I go, living life a little more fully (with a little less hair for a while). Isn't bald in these days? See I can always find the good, even through the bad.

Keep smiling and checking your breasts.

I love your attitude.

That's a good report. 1B is early stage. Make sure you go to more than one oncologist for an opinion on treatment.

How wonderful your news was better than you expected. My mother had two separate bouts with two separate types of breast cancer nearly 18 years ago, one requiring a single mastectomy, and today, at 84, she is fine (though suffering from Alzheimers). She was just like you, she dealt with it at the time but didn't let it define her or affect her life. Good luck.:)
Dee

You have the right attitude and I admire that ! good luck with the chemo.
Keep us posted as you go along.

May God bless you and help you through these challenging times. Prayer and faith are what saved me. I just got the biopsy report today from my colonoscopy - totally normal, no cancer, no polyps, no infection, nothing bad at all. Next colonoscopy in 3 years! Yippee!!!

Pray to Mother Mary - she will intercede for you.

Take good care. Eileen

I double your yipee!!!

I am set to see my onc Thurs. All the good docs are booked out a month. Don't know why the surgeons don't get the referrals started day after surgery. I was going to ask but onc offices said they could get me in quickly depending on urgency. The one I am seeing managed to get me in quickly, kinda held the spot for me. You really do attract more bees with honey than lemon.

My dh is going to ask the top doc where he works what he thinks about my case and my onc's recommendations. I will also get a second opinion too. I also know a head onc nurse who I will ask about my second opinion doc. All the docs I am looking at were awarded Top Docs by their peers in recent years. It really helps to ask around. Also, my dh has come up with some really great things to discuss with my docs. Because my dh is also a microbiologist he sees things from a biological prospective also, not just as a treater. He combed my pathology report way closer than my surgeon did. That could be because only certain parts applied to her and my onc will go over the rest, but it would have been important stuff to point out to a patient not fortunate enough to have a dh like mine. Once again, advice to others "go over everthing and ask what everthing means."

Coordinating care is so hard. At work we use nurse case managers. When I had a guy who could not see his doc for a month, my nurse got him in the next day. But when I need to set my own appt it takes forever. My dh is my designated hitter when I have problems. It helps.

I ran into issues with my insurance. They sent my referral to a facility which my doc does not even work at. My surgeon gave them mis information but they never bothered to make sure they were sending it to the right place. We immediately called ins (dh had to interceed) and explain to them how they did it wrong. That was Friday. This morning my doc still did not have my referral. Talk about a pain. I had to have my surgeon's scheduler (the problem person) redo the referral. Luckily she is on the ball this time so I should be set to go.

I have been checking out some sites to see what I am really heading into. A chemo port, yuck but supposedly best way to go, will leave yet another scar on my chest. Guess I won't be going topless this year! lol! I don't like going into things blindly so I research and ask lots of questions. Surprises are no fun for me.

My family is great so far. Well at least the ones I can always count on. My oldest sis lives 6miles away and even came to my son's scounting events recently. My mid sis is in So Cal but calls often and is planning to come up and help clean or just hang out cooking/freezing food for later. My bro is distant. I sent him a card telling him my diagnosis and he sent this really weird mushy letter. (For those who don't recall, he and I had an issue 3.5yrs ago and since then he has done several very cruel and hurtfull things to myself, my sisters and their kids. I have not tried to patch things us and my mom pretends like he is a god. She will not tell him he was mean because she actually likes conflict, sick I know. I planned on sending him a letter telling him it was time to get over it and make up, then this happened to me and I don't have the energy right now to fix all this). He mentioned wanting to see me, not because of my cancer, but because he loves me. I emailed him my info and surgery date. He has not replied nor contacted me. My dad is so sweet. I plan to go see him next chance I get as he goes to my oldest sis' house weekly. My mom, well, she is who she is. I told my oldest sis that if I were on my deathbed mom would expect me to call her and let her know. Mom would not call me. When I updated her on my surgery she was really happy about my being home but had to go because she was cooking a burger. I know she loves me but just does not know how to show it. I have another sis that we have been forbidden to speak to, mom and her have issues and mom demanded we ignore her for last 20 or so years. I have contacted her here and there. My mid sis defies mom and does have a relationship with her. I think I will start pen-paling her. She is really hard to deal with, very emotional and dependent. I think an email start would be good for her. We can chat without having to deal with her emotional issues. She really is sweet and was really touched that I reached out to her about my condition.

DH is hanging in there but I can tell this is starting to take it's toll. He deals with dialysis patients all day long. To have him sit with me during my chemo is going to be so hard on him. He keeps saying he wishes he could take this all away from me but can't. I read a blog on a guy who would take his wife out for a lunch date after each treatment. I guess he felt pretty good right afterwards and took advantage of the moment. My coworker's husband had to go on prozac to manage his depression from his wife's treatment. Hopefully spring will be here soon and sunshine will make my dh feel better. I think before I start my treatment we will go get his new kayak. He loves being on the water, gives him time to be at peace and in such beautiful surroundings. I know I should not worry about him but I do. I know he feels guilty leaving me at home but I keep telling him that he has to do it FOR ME to know he is ok so I can be ok.

Make sure you get a power port for the chemo port so they can use that same port for CT scans. I have been loving my port since I hate needles in my veins - the port does not hurt for all those blood tests, etc. that you will need. Plus the chemo would mess up you veins and hurt you. The port is great! I did not think so at first but now I know the benefits of it. I still have mine and they used it for IV's, blood tests, etc.
Are you going to buy a wig? My chemo only had me lose 25%-50% of my hair but breast cancer chemo usually makes hair fall out in 10 days. Our prayers are with you!!

Oh Shannon-
I am sending you ((((hugs)))) It is amazing the amount of legwork that has to be done on the patient's part isn't it? Thank goodness your DH is a doctor. I am a PA and I seem to be the medical advocate for EVERYONE in my family.

I hear you on the mom issue. I had a bone tumor when I was 19, that destroyed my tibia bone. When I was diagnosed it was uncertain if it was cancer or not. I drove myself- it ended up being benign, but it destroyed my leg. I literally drove myself to all of my follow up appointments into NYC from a suburb, by myself. My parents always had other stuff going on. My mom was always making what happened to me, all about her. I will never understand that. I can't imagine letting my teenage daughter go to her follow up appointments alone. Sorry- so OT!

Anyhow, I wish you all the strength to beat this- because you WILL!

Actually he is a PA too, sorry if I implied otherwise.

Isn't it funny how some people make our issue about them?? My mom means well, she really does. Today she was trying to convince me to check out my dad's prostrate cancer radiologist. I tried to explain that just because ladies were in the offie does not mean he specializes in breasts. She just did not get that there is a difference between discussing someone's breast and discussing a prostrate. I tried to just passify her and told her I would look into him. She also suggested I see her gastro doctor, the one she saw when she was sure she has gastro cancer. I honestly think she wishes she had something serious wrong with her. Anyhoo...

I will have to check into the power port. Anything to make things easier is worth a looksy. Thanks.

I am not sure about the wig thing yet. I will be going through chemo during summer and not sure how that will all go. My coworker lost her hair within days so she had it shaved off. I plan to do the same. I think that would be easier than losing clumps daily. I hope I get the chemo before my can of hairspray runs out. I am so cheap I would hate to buy a can and have it just sit there. My hair grows slowly normally. I hope after chemo it comes back thick and lovely. Luckily I have had boyshort hair before and actually like it a bit. Would be a bummer to have long locks and have to lose it.