Normal for a DS? Yes, indeed! We raised our boys to become men and this is what being a man looks like. Don't worry, you will be the first person he calls when he needs advice or $$$.

This is the space between 'I'm going to kill that kid' and 'I miss him so much and I am so proud of him'. LOL!

I agree with golddust but will add one more thing - ****you will be the first person he calls when he needs advice or $$$**** or when he's in trouble and the school MAKES him call!! Seriously - when our oldest went off to school, it was as if he fell off the face of the earth and I wanted to die! Felt like I'd been fired from my favorite and most important job. His message was loud and clear - I'll handle it - and for the most part he did. But he was at a private school, a Jesuit one at that (what kind of a place is that for a nice Jewish boy?) and they had rules which he promptly tested.

My friends who sent daughters off to school were in constant communication and also a couple of mothers and sons. But for the most part, boys have an out of sight out of mind mentality, I think.

That first born of mine is now 25 and 2000 miles away. An hour phone or video chat once or twice weekly is not at all unusual.

Our sons are the same - they call when they need money or advice. Otherwise, forget it. Our daughter on the other hand, called quite often. She was not as social as her brothers, and we actually felt relieved when she started to call less frequently. That meant that she was developing a social life. She has become quite independent now. After graduation she moved to L.A., found a job in her field and has her own apartment without a roommate. Something I couldn't have imagined her doing 5 years ago.

Ohh, same boat as you, only last year. What a tough time being a parent, no?

Finally resigned myself (with a little support from DH), that if I/we didn't hear from DD, it was a probably a good thing. DD was busy, had work to do, making new friends, adjusting to living with 2 roommates (DD is an only child), and everything else that comes with going away to college.

Also, the college DD attends, requires all incoming freshmen to do a First Year Seminar which pairs the freshman with mentors in groups. The upperclassmen (mentors) do things like meet informally on a weekly basis to answer questions about adjustment to college life, have bi-weekly dinners with the peer group, make a point of checking in on a student who seems may be having trouble, etc. Also, a mandatory first semester class was FYS, which was all about adjusting to college life. That class is held by the professor assigned for each major. DD went in undeclared and stayed with her FYS advisor through her entire freshman year. DD's professor/advisor had his entire group of freshman and peer mentors come to dinner at his home ~ a farm he shares with his wife. Nice BBQ, bonfire, music, get to know you, casual social thing. So nice of him to do so.

DD declared a major at the end of her Spring semester. Now has a different advisor. DH & I were very glad the school mandated this FYS, as we feel it was sooo important that there was some support provided to every freshman as they moved to a new chapter in life. A safety net, if you will

Had we heard from DD everyday, it would have been an indicator that she wasn't acclimating, or at least not trying to do so, if DD was still so "wired" to me/us.

Would say I got a few texts, not many. Calls, less than texts. First time home was only 2 weeks into the Fall semester. DD had a "mini-meltdown/pity party" about the dorm room, how hard her classes were, how much work, yada yada. Well, as I wasn't the most sympathetic audience, I had a sit down with DD and let her vent, but then I asked DD if she would like to trade places with me, or with any of her high school classmates who weren't fortunate enough to have gone away to college. I think the light bulb went off for DD.

After our discussion, it seemed as tho she had gotten it, and truly appreciated having the opportunity to be away at school. By the end of the Fall semester, DD couldn't wait to go back from Christmas Break. Thankfully, it all fell into place and worked out well.

If you feel your DS is not isolated, and otherwise seems to be doing well, then I would just try to wait for him to communicate.

I tried to sit on my hands, so as to let DD get into her groove at school, only texted if necessary, and responded to the texts DD initiated. I knew she was adjusting okay after the first few months, and I am confident in my relationship with DD being very strong at its core. I figured if she needed me, she would call or text.

I also did some baking, sent her favorite cookies along with a mid-semester care package.

While recently on vacation visiting family (DD is now a sophmore), I asked about a another family member whose DD is the same age as my DD, and who is now attending her sophmore year at college away from home. I was curious how much communication went on between that student and her mom/dad/family? Well, the person to whom I was talking had taken said student to her college orientation, as her parents were both working that day. The speaker at orientation told the parents (mine wasn't the parent), that if you aren't hearing from your child, send them a text or email, or even leave a VM on their cell, that you are sending them $$, or do they need anything? See how fast they respond. LOL.

So, we just tried a little experiment after this vacation conversation to see if the advice was good advice. Heard back immediately from DD. We laughed so hard about how true that orientation speaker was. So, there is something to that particular strategy.

Fall break isn't too far off. My DD attends a private college, so they have a fall break next weekend, but most big universities don't have the mini break, first time home will be Thanksgiving.

Just wait till you see the difference in your DS. It was amazing watching from afar, my DD change into an independent young woman.

HTH.

I had two boys in college and I didn't wait for them to call me, cause I called them all the time! lol.

They actually liked me calling. So don't wait around for them to call you, just pick up the phone and do it!

One of my favorite things to do was driving to the college town, stocking up on groceries and all kinds of snacks, taking it to their apartment (once one move out of the frat house so he could actually study), putting groceries away while they were in class, then leaving.

They LOVED that!

If you can catch them on Facebook or Skype, you have a better chance at chatting. My kids are in Europe and on the East Coast, and I never expect to hear from them via phone call, but I can snag them online, and catch up.

I have two boys away at college. First is in New York and he calls me all the time. Mostly just to tell me some funny or crazy or interesting thing that happened. That's totally his personality. He and I have always had that kind of relationship where we talk a lot and think the same kinds of things are funny. So... for him perfectly normal.

My second son who is in Austin calls about every 10 days to two weeks unless something completely out of the ordinary happens. And that frequency is only because I told him that I really wanted to hear from him more often than once a month!! Again, for him, perfectly normal.

I don't call either of them unless I have a specific reason that I need to talk to them right away and an email won't do. My philosophy is that I WANTED them to go away to college so they could grow up. Me calling them too much would, in my eyes, go against that.

Anyway, my point is, every kid is different. Some are more talkative than others, some more attached than others, etc. I agree with what others have said, they ALWAYS call (or email) when they need something or when something not so great happens. And they DO do a lot of growing up, especially in those first few months, so don't worry. Let him have his space.

My hope is that they grow up and mature and come back and establish themselves as really cool adults who want to hang out with me as adults. That was the relationship I had with my mother and I hope to have it with my kids.

My two college sons call when they need money. I am picturing a different story next year when DD goes off to college.

Well, how ironic that I posed this question on Thurs., and on Fri. I actually spoke to him a few times. Why? Because he was in the hospital!! To make a long story short, he went downtown on the bus with his GF and after feeling fine all day, he got off the bus and almost fell because he felt lightheaded. Sat on a bench for a minute and then felt "sort of" okay, then went into a CVS because he started feeling queasy and thought he might get something (medicine) to help. The pharmacist noticed that he was acting like he might faint, so she called 911 and the ambulance came... took him in, gave him IV fluids and did blood work. Diagnosis: healthy young man. No idea what caused the incident but he is fine now!! Nothing like a little Friday night drama. He did say he felt stressed out last week -- sounds like the workload increased and maybe he wasn't eating/sleeping well. Anyway, we talked to him more this weekend than we have in the past month!

That is terrible! Hopefully he is staying hydrated. One night, Max partied and drank. The next morning he met Aimee, who was in SF, for breakfast. The same thing happened to him, only he was out cold and turned blue. Luckily Aimee was with him. He was dehydrated and his Neurocardiogenic syncope flared up. He said he learned a big lesson - "to drink lots of water with alcohol." Sigh.

College kids will be college kids...

That happened to my DD too - her first semester at college. The girls had been out drinking and they returned to the dorm and she fainted. She had also been on antibiotics for a week and she knew she shouldn't have been drinking alcohol while on this medication. Anyway the RA called 911 and they took her to the ER - same thing - dehydration. So may college kids are unaware that this can happen easily.

He doesn't drink. For whatever reason, he is totally anti-drinking (and smoking) -- not because of anything we've said or done, but he has always felt strongly about this. He did say that he has lost weight (maybe the first college freshman in history to lose weight?) because he has stopped snacking between meals and stopped drinking soda... this is good, he could stand to lose a few lbs.... but I wonder if he just didn't eat enough that day. He also has started drinking coffee, but not every day, so he could have been having some kind of caffeine withdrawal? He is kind of sensitive to things like that. Who knows. I'm just glad he's OK now!