I take it a house guest has reached his/her expiration date?

Too funny. Some of those I can easily relate to. Too many in fact! Either you've fostered a teen or have house guests? Or, you have taken my husband. Please return him after you have gotten many of the above items resolved. It would make my life sooo much easier!

Had I known, I would not have taken a sip of tea just as I began reading this! Where the heck is that dishtowel? Oh, yes, wet and left in a pile on the counter...should have known. LOL.

12) While reclining in the most comfortable chair in the house, pointing out the missed smudges on the TV as your hosts cleans....

It's not helpful when you gather in the kitchen, spread your laptop and papers on the counter just as I am in the final steps of getting Thanksgiving dinner on the table and need all the counter space I can get.

Oh, I am *SO* all over this! I'm still mad and upset from the other day. This isn't the place to rant about it, but I'll add a few of my own:

13)It's neither polite, nor helpful, to arrive at the host's house TWO HOURS early.

14)When you or your ill-behaved child spills a glass of soda on the floor, you might want to clean it up. And you shouldn't use the vintage table linens to do so.

15) Many people consider it inappropriate to use the host's master bathroom. Especially when there are MULTIPLE other bathrooms available.

16)Is there a reason that you're opening every drawer and cabinet that you come across? If you have a need, perhaps ask the host/hostess, rather than riffling through other people's private spaces.

17) Do not assume that everyone has a working garbage disposal, or if it is working, that they choose to use it. Cramming the leftovers or scraping plates of food into the sink is often a bad idea.

18) if you are bringing small children to a home that you know is not childproof, it is YOUR responsibility to ensure that your children are safe, and that they cause as little destruction as possible.

19) Your host's computer is not a toy for your children.

I have more:

20) If you, or your child, is opening drawers and cabinets just because you want to, then you need to stop. Some people thing it's rude.

21) If you, or your child, is ill, please, please stay home.

13)It's neither polite, nor helpful, to arrive at the host's house TWO HOURS early.

I knew a couple who always arrived anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes earlier than stated on the dinner invitation. The first time it happened to me, I tried to lighten my annoyance by joking that they were lucky that I had on any clothes that early. The second time they did it, I was in the shower and not amused. I got out of the shower, marched to the front door with hair and body dripping wet and answered the door stark naked. They never arrived early to my dinners after that.

22) Coca-Cola quality control generally assures that is it Not life-threatening to drink the second half of a can of Coke instead of opening a new one. If you *are going to "help" by throwing your rejects into the recycling bin, a trip to the sink to dispose of the rest is preferable to allowing it to drain through all the recycling and on to the garage floor. (The garage floor is epoxied and gets mopped in this house).

Ohhh...Sorry your Thanksgiving wasn't happier, palimpsest. Do I take it that your guest is not getting an invite back?

These are not the complaints of a curmudgeon. I wonder if this slob guest is beyond learning basic courtesies, like, Do Not Create Mess in Host's Home.

Here's a cheap Christmas gift suggestion for your guest: Emily Post's "Etiquette" is in the public domain & available for free in podcast form. Perhaps just chapter 29, "The Fundamentals of Good Behavior" and chapter 35, "The Kindergarten of Etiquette" will be enough.

Emily Post from Librivox audiobooks

I got out of the shower, marched to the front door with hair and body dripping wet and answered the door stark naked. They never arrived early to my dinners after that.

LOL!!!

Reminds me of yesterday, we were catering to a group of retired teachers, a turkey dinner. Was just putting out the butters and creamers when 3 walked in only about 1 1/2 hrs early. I said you must have been the teachers who were always early for class. One says, it is cold in here, I had just turned up the heat in the hall. Felt like saying, what do you expect you're early.

Thanksgiving was mostly fine, really. These weren't things I dealt with at my house, but rather my parents' house, with my own (older) siblings and some of their kids.

My eldest sister grew up at the tail end of the granola era and thought (thinks) that too much emphasis is placed on possessions (not that she will do without anything). She was also influenced for some years by her husband who had nothing but contempt for anybody who displayed any kind of class or etiquette. He finally left her for the white trash princess he really wanted (A 45 year old woman who has captions like "So-o-o wasted in this pic" on her Facebook.)

Unfortunately this message got misconstrued into "you don't have to take care of anything" If her kids had a possession it was up to them whether they wanted to trash it or take care of it. My eldest niece, as she approaches thirty, is kind of upset that almost nothing remains of her childhood, while her cousins (and I) have a lot of well tended bits and pieces from ours. She is starting to understand that you may have some kind of tradition even as a young adult, if you are allowed to start early enough.

My thesis is that you may actually be Less materialistic if you take care of things. My sister thought it was silly when we went through the trash looking for the bottle opener. "Lose a bottle opener? Buy another! Buy three!" My parents have had ONE bottle opener in the kitchen their entire married life. I think they got it as a shower present. One bottle opener in 55 years is pretty Non materialistic in my book. My 87 year old father would have been furious if a new bottle opener showed up in his life at this late date.

When a friend of mine came to my parents' house a few years ago for a holiday dinner, there was a bit of eye rolling at the rituals when it came to setting the table: cloth put on the table and ironed, plates taken out of vinyl bags and the cushion between each plate set aside, silver service pieces taken out of their flannel bags, five or six pieces of flatware at every place. Then everything done carefully in reverse.

I went to her house for a holiday and she bought everything she needed except flatware at the dollar store or Homegoods and bundled it up in the tablecloth at the end of the meal and trashed it! Who is more materialistic in this picture? This one woman landfill, or my parents, who didn't use Anything Newer than 40 years old during the entire meal?

yogacat writes: 13)It's neither polite, nor helpful, to arrive at the host's house TWO HOURS early.
I knew a couple who always arrived anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes earlier than stated on the dinner invitation. The first time it happened to me, I tried to lighten my annoyance by joking that they were lucky that I had on any clothes that early. The second time they did it, I was in the shower and not amused. I got out of the shower, marched to the front door with hair and body dripping wet and answered the door stark naked. They never arrived early to my dinners after that.

I think I may try that tact at my next foray into large group entertaining. I wasn't feeling quite up to par with a nasty head cold, but did the whole nine yards anyway. Decided to take a short catnap, only to hear the phone ringing as my head hit my pillow. Thought it was one family member or another who live in other parts of the Country, calling to say Happy Thanksgving. No, it was a local family member/one of our guests, asking if it was okay for the five of them to come by earlier. ONE AND A HALF HOURS early.

Well, I while tried to explain that I hadn't had time to shower, hor d'oeuvrs were coming with another guest, so nothing out to nibble on. Hadn't had a chance to do some last minute cleanup, etc. DD was napping in order to do some midnight holiday shopping, yada yada.

I felt as though I was speaking some foreign language, and what my guest heard was ~ sure, that's fabulous, we would love for the five of you to come by two hours early~. After the explanation of why it would NOT be great for me, the guest offered to help with the last minute stuff. As I expected, that didn't happen.

So, I did a few last minute things, and left the rest to DH, as it seems that it is his side of the family who seem to appear for things somewhere between 1 and 2 hours early EVERY time. UGH.

I enjoyed a lengthy hot shower, and took my good ole time getting ready. I appeared downstairs in my home at the time I would have, had the early birds had the sense to spend a bit of time doing something else rather than arriving so early. When this has happened in the past, I rush through my shower, and don't get that 10 minute break I so badly need before the crowd descends on my home.

Maybe the naked thing would've worked better, or at least send the guests a loud and clear head's up - please show up closer to the invitation time (which we had confirmed by phone the day prior)! I would never do that to any host/hostess. Oh, and I know you may be thinking these guests just don't know any better, you see, but they do.

These people were raised "properly" and regularly attend cocktails parties, holiday parties, and the like as adults as well as through their entire childhoods. Entertaining and being entertained is something not foreign to them.

Just cannot for the life of me, figure out what they were thinking other than they were already out, and didn't think better of killing two hours sitting in my LR while the last minute stuff was accomplished.

So glad I am not the only one. Had I not been a bit under the weather & been my usual self, I would have been much better able to roll with it. But having last minute vacuuming and a few other things other than food-related things to do in the house, is very different than a guest coming in a few minutes early to share a cocktail and help you set out some things to nibble on. That kind of early is a-okay.

Yes, we also have the guests who rummage through everything. But wait, they aren't just looking for a forgotten serving utensil, or linen bar towel to dry a pot. Nope, just plain curious I suppose. Another subject altogether! There's really no way to stop that behavior short of super-gluing the cabinets and drawers closed.

We are traveling guests on Thanksgiving. We either leave at 6 in the morning or we are in bumper to bumper traffic (and accidents) the entire 200 miles. Our invitation is for 1PM so we are always in a quandary as to what to do on Thanksgiving between the time we arrive and the time our invitation is for but we NEVER arrive early.

It is such a hassle that after 28 years, knowing how much we totally dread going, after my MIL passes, we'll never show up for Thanksgiving again. That said, we love our hosts and have a great time while we are there. I just don't think they realize what we go through to have dinner with them and how hard it is to find things to do while we wait. It sucks.

Here, we welcome travelers the night before and expect them to stay the night of. Just saying... We come to dinner only because of our 86 year old mom. They aren't set up for traveling guests.

I don't think we have ever considered a family member a guest to the extent that they had to show up at an appointed time...although to that extent, as a family member we never expect to be treated like a guest and that means whenever you get there, you deal with conditions as they are and are usually put to work.

Pal: Thank you for that wonderful visual of lovingly setting the table for Thanksgiving. I strive for the same feeling of ceremony and tradition. My parents are 91 and 85 and also believe in buying things once. I have the waffle iron my father bought for my mother's 25th birthday, and still use it, cloth cord and all.
Dee

@ work_in_progress

Answering the door stark naked isn't something I'd suggest in general. I was certain that my guests didn't have children with them and wouldn't be upset by my lack of clothing. I knew they'd get the point and that the woman in the couple would turn it into a funny story.

Since your family members call ahead of time, a simple answer to a request for early arrival is, "I'm sorry, that just doesn't work for me." Sometimes people are just rude and self-centered, but I suspect that most of us just assume that everyone is like we are and don't understand those whose preferences for privacy and togetherness are different.