I would be more comfortable with 'A' but its a personality thing. I like that they would be communicative and structured in how they approach a plan. If you hadn't talked to 'A' first, would 'B' have even known up front about the plumbing and electrical in the soffit or asked about it? Would you have known? Sounds like 'A' will give you a more accurate price. He's taking more detailed account of things. 'B' can give you a rough estimate, though wouldn't he want to pad for unknown (and probable) issues that arise. I like details and would want to know that the contractor can handle details. Some people would be more comfortable with 'B' because the process stresses them out and they just want to give $$$ to someone who'll take care of the details so they don't have to worry.

The first guy sounds a lot more thorough and careful.

Just based on what you wrote, I'd pick number one.

Word of warning. Don't assume that because there is some connection between you and the contractor (kids in same school)that all will be well. I have known people on GW and IRL that have screwed over by fellow church members, neighbors, long time friends, their kids baseball coach etc.

Keep in mind that while things might go just fine, there might come a time when you have to cut ties. If that happens, can you fire them? Don't hire anyone you can't fire.

Your KD is not an independent third party. They probably send clients to each other.

I would get a third estimate at least. Is your DH going to be with you to review the estimates and sign the contract? The contactor should know they will be accountable to both of you.

From what you've said, I'd go with A. I know references are hard because they only give you people who will give them a good recommendation, but if you can find some people to talk to who have worked with them and ask pointed questions (not general stuff, but very specific things) that might be helpful.

If I were going to go with B I would ask specifically how he will deal with unknown issues that arise.

We did a half-house remodel a couple years ago (literally took the top off and put a new top on) and worked with a wonderfully skilled contractor. I'm happy we went with him because he handled serious structural issues that I'm not sure other contractors could have managed. But he was a HORRIBLE estimator. Our biggest problem with him was that he was constantly spending more money than he expected to so in the end we were scrambling for more money. I still would have chosen him had I known this, I would have just budgeted (and borrowed) for a larger contingency fund.

All of that is a long way of saying that it seems like contractor A is taking a more realistic approach to what you're dealing with and I'd rather that a worst-case scenario laid out for me than an overly rosy and optimistic picture. Better to be pleasantly surprised when things aren't as complicated as you thought.

Of course I wouldn't decide anything until I saw real quotes from both of them.

I don't like guys who talk carp about other guys, so I'd ditch GC B for that alone. GC A is probably giving you a worse case scenario while GC B is best case.

BUT!!!

Don't hire a guy whose kids go to school with yours. I had a terrible contractor I'd love to drag through the gutter on the internet and our neighborhood yahoo group but I can't.

(On the other hand, the best GC I ever had lived 2 doors down. He'd worked on half the homes in the '20s neighborhood though so we knew he was good before we started...plus our house was close enough to affect his property value.)

So, um, get references. Check them out. But I prefer the nervous nellie style to the "what--me worry? and that other guy is trying to screw you" style.

Not so fast-Not enough to tell, just sounds like a difference in style.
I'm a KD, I refer contractors. Will they then refer me, I hope so, but they would if they didn't get the job.
Would I refer someone who created problems, who customers had been unhappy with, who overcharged- not on you life. I don't make a dime on it and risk client referrals which are equally important.

Some folks want to check every detail, some can tell more with a look and roll with it. FWIW the guy who I had the biggest problem with in the last few years was a "detail" guy. IT doesn't always mean much. Besides, I always give them a list of what I know.

Soffits can be a real headache when they have stuff in them, I'm usually checking them during the design!! Making sure that your layout works with ALL the mechanical issues is part of MY JOB. If I have doubts or questions I might bring in someone but all has to be resolved prior to ordering cabinets.

To date I've never had a situation where the wall had to be built out because of stuff in the soffit. I've had to make adjustments to cabinets but not build out an entire wall. Can't say it won't happen. 6 would surprise me.

Now duct in a wall is another issue, but again, I usually deal with that in the cabinets if the duct can't be relocated or adjusted. I'd suggest talking with the KD about the impact mechanicals will have on your layout.

In the meantime, get your estimates. At some point you will feel more comfortable with one or another and like the bid. Try to relax until you have ALL the info. Right now it's like trying to pick a cabinet brand because you like the brochure.

Wait to see what the quotes come back at, and get a third one. B is already a little suspect because of his dig at A, though it may be true it may also be he got screwed once or twice by unexpected issues and the customer flipped out about the added expense. And now he's just more careful up front.

If A accounts for everything he saw, and B only accounts for the things you asked for but is in the same ballpark, either he is charging a lot more (which could really add up as he deals with unexpected issues) or he is padding to make up for what he didn't see.

Definitely ask for a list of references. Call every reference. Ask to see the GC's work if possible. Ask what they liked, and what they didn't. And get at least one more GC quote. I had six! I researched the heck out of it.

A.

I work in the HVAC field. Contractor A sounds like he understands more about mechanical systems and how they relate to the other parts of your home.

B sounds like he can do a beautiful kitchen, but might not have the knowledge to understand that he just created a big problem with the duct system and airflow, that can make the rest of your home uncomfortable.

And, A is trying to get the most detail possible in his quote. The allows him to cover his business risk more accurately, and give you the best price. Since B is giving a more general estimate, he either has to add in money for the business risk of his lack of project details, or he is trying to get the low bid by not including everything, and then assumes that if additions are needed that you will pay for them with a change order......

Thank you for all your responses and to anyone who checks back and reads further...

I tried my best to make that brief but it was so long, and yet theres more I want to say after reading some responses!

jakuvall...I appreciate your response, I too don't think the KD would suggest him if he was not trustworthy, she spoke really highly of him. And I assume, and its too early to tell, he had a plan for those soffits...do you mind telling me some solutions you have used? I know that all the plumbing for our 2 upstairs bathrooms is housed in those soffits. And a heating duct going into an upstairs bathroom runs through it too.
However. As a KD Im sure your opinion of him might change if you hear that in my conversation with him, he was making it clear that even if I don't hire the KD who referred him to me, he'd still do the job, in fact he told me of another cabinet supplier who will be cheaper, pointing out she has a big markup on her cabinets to pay for her interior design expertise.
So...is that a huge no no?! I would feel horrible hiring him if I don't use the KD. However, I was thinking about it because once I get some estimates, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to afford the luxury of a true KD/interior designer. I'm thinking I'm going to be relying on the wonderful GW and hopefully a decent cabinet place to come up with the best layout.
Haha, as I write it, he sounds like a real jerk, but I swear I don't think he is.

And, as for contractor "A", I cant help but wonder if he's being so thorough bc Im asking him to do stuff hes not sure how to do. I have this in my head, because when he first looked in those soffits he had a look like, ohhhhh crap. Afraid he was going to tell me we couldn't remove them, I instantly pulled up a picture I have showing my neighbors identical kitchen where they recently had them removed. He looked at the picture and then realized what they did was build the wall out a few inches to deal with all the pipes. So, now that became his solution. I cannot help it, I am overly cynical of people, but I wonder if I hadn't shown him that if he'd have even come up with a plan. I really didn't give him much of a chance to arrive at a solution but I watched his face as he "learned" what to do by looking at the picture. So, all his other careful investigating makes me wonder. Is he seeing all the duct work inside my load bearing walls that I want cut down and thinking to himself ohhhh crap?! Or is he just looking close because he knows more than most what to look for and what to be prepared for.

Uggh, this is stupid, after writing it out I think its obvious I just need to get 3rd and 4th opinions. great, then I can scrutinize and obsess over every single thing they say too and find any reason I can find to not trust them too and then this project will never get started! OK, thanks for letting me ramble and vent.
:-/

Hehe. You're making the guy sound terrible! :)

If you don't need storage where the soffits are, you can just have them (or their guts anyway) reduced small enough to be running through the tops of your cabinets. Inside the cabinets. Where you can't reach things well anyway. Assuming you wanted cabinets in those locations of course...

Look: some contractors just like to make a big dramatic deal about everything, and others don't. There are a thousand different reasons for this. Some are looking to pad the bill, some really do see what others don't, and some are just whiners. (Actually quite a few are whiners.) So the drama alone tells you nothing. Just get more bids and more references.

pipes in soffit
-feeds get moved up and run above cabinets behind molding (non issue)
- waste pipe (bigger) if it can move up great, if not then some cabs get a mod so pipe has room while face of cabinet and doors extend up...cabinet below the trap often needs a mod to accommodate the extra depth but not always

-heating ducts: can't say without being there. I check with HVAC guys when dealing with it. Sometimes a chase in wall or a false column, sometimes it stays and accommodated with mods, sometimes moved to another wall,...
As I said don't know why an entire wall should be built out but then every now and then I run into something new.

Last batch of ducts I had to deal with the contractor was like B- no big deal. They went into another wall BUT there was both attic and basement access to them. Oh and he and HVAC guy were there before we finalized the design.

Every once in a while the soffit can't (or shouldn't) be realistically removed.

The KD should be involved so that the solution is accounted for in the design and the cabinet order.

I'd expect anyone I referred to do the job even if I didn't get it. I would not expect them to promote someone else, that would be the last referral they got from me.

"...I can scrutinize and obsess over every single thing they say too and find any reason I can find to not trust them too... "

Everyone is looking for a reason NOT to buy.
Discovery of said reason occasionally causes bullet in foot syndrome.

Others have said this, but the best advice is to get references from each contractor - completed jobs they have done. Talk to the customers and see the work if possible. You will learn things about each of the contractors. It is probably also a good idea to get more than 2 bids - prices can vary significantly.

Good luck!

References and site visits to previous projects.

Figure out what the most challenging aspect of your project is and, if all things are equal, go with the guy who can satisfy that challenging aspect best.

If you're down to 2, when you get the bids - get them to break out the numbers for every major element/function of the project - and ideally, retain the ability to sub out any aspect (for a credit of the amount in the bid) you want if you lose confidence for some reason.

IE - you love their carpentry but have cold feet about the hvac. You could choose to sub out that part.....

But do go visit other homes where they've done similar or bigger, more complicated projects.

And don't rush your decision! Words from the wise....