You have all the bones for a gorgeous room. I would suggest BM smokey taupe as it's gray that has a warmth to it. It's a complex color yet it goes with everything. It's one of my favorite colors and I'll bet your husband would love it.

It bothers me a bit that none of the seating looks at the woodstove; is just seems a little odd somehow, but I guess there is really nothing to look at?

I also think your current LR feels like a hallway; you need something to partially block the DR, maybe?

Would you be willing to do hardwood floors? right now the carpet makes it seem like one large oddly shaped room ... with wood floors, rugs could delineate each area.

It's such an interesting arrangement of rooms...but somehow they just seem confused as to function. You have a living room that is essentially empty and then you have the family room with a desk area and tv viewing space and a table whose function is unclear. Not sure how much of this is because you don't use the living room or how much is because everyone wants to hang by the wood stove because it's warm. But other than the dr and the tv area, the rest seems to be without intention...but place holders instead. If you want a craft corner in the room, then be intentional about it...turn the corner where the maple credenza is into a crafting space with book cases or other storage and a light over the top and chairs all around a table that isn't too high...the one that's there seems high for children.

This is one instance where I would want to add a wall rather than eliminate it....I'd like to see the wall between the kitchen and living room enclosed, then I'd move the stove there to tighten up the work triangle and then I'd turn the peninsula into an eat-at counter. That would make the living room a little more useful for furniture and a conversational cluster set up, and it would define a gathering space for family/visitors.

In the FR, I would put the sofa back to the picture window so it didn't feel like such a barrier in the room....even if it meant I had to slide the TV away from the corner....then the arrangement of the other chairs would be more open and welcoming.

The other thing that's bothering me is all the different wood colors...some mixing is fine, but I don't think there's a single piece of wood that is close to any other in color...the wood work, the dark built ins, the very light desk credenza, the medium colored table, the shelves, the picture frames, all of it is very different.

Perhaps it's because wood is about the only thing to look at....there is no softness in the room....no window treatments, no pillows, no area carpets, no fabric upholstery, even lampshades are few and far between....As far as adding window treatments, I think they would go a long way toward softening the space. The baseboards are not a problem if you just hang a side panels...they need not close...and add one valance across the top of the 3 windows would look great. I'd pick the fabric first before I picked the paint as it's easier to match paint to fabric than vice versa. I'd do matching window treatments on the other windows...with or without the side panels, but leave the sliders alone. That will also go a long way to making the wood less prominent.

If you want to define the rooms separately, I would go with stronger, more saturated colors and more contrast between the space...you have plenty of light so it could handle it. The colors would definitely have to work together well. But because of the open space plan and traffic flow, there's a lot of walls that are sort of unusable, so the only way to furnish them is with color. I think it would help warm up the space, but I would definitely stay away from the gray tones as they can be colder. When I see your rooms, I want to add warmth, cozy, and softness. But as I suggested, start with fabric first....then paint.

HTH