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n2cookin

How do you remain calm during remodel?

17 years ago

Our DR mini-remodel is in progress as we speak. I am finding it hard to remain calm while the outer wall of my home is ripped wide open to install the french doors. Oh yea, it's 20 degrees outside today too. And the contractors, well they are quite "seedy" looking. So how do the rest of you remain calm while things are all ripped up in your house? I'm a nervous wreck!

Comments (23)

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    The same way you do it when you LIVE in the house and systematically "finish" the space. Jeez! take a breath, willya? You aren't the first homeowner to deal with it.

    I lived in home that had an "occupancy" permit and we spent another YEAR "finishing" it.

    If it's any consolation , think about the unfortunate souls in Afghanistan, Iraq, or the occupied territorties presently under Israeli control.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Wine.

    ;-)

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    This too shall pass :)

    or, immerse yourself in before and after photos.....

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    We lived through 8 months of renovations last year. About 1/2 of our first floor was inaccessible during this time, including our kitchen, a bathroom, and our entire back yard. I think I've blocked out most of it because it already seems like a long-ago memory, but I spent a lot of the time researching and shopping for "new stuff" for the new space... going away on weekends as much as possible... and just trying to keep us all organized. Sometimes the best thing to do is just get away from the house for a while, for a few hours or a couple of days.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I guess I should've posted that I was only "kidding". Geez, some people sure are quick to "jump on it". I do LIVE in the house presently. And yes, I'm not the first homeowner to go through this, I know. Wow, after chelone's response, I'm thinking I'm not the nervous one at all! LOL!

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I repeat - wine. For everyone ;-)

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Plenty of fresh fruits and veggies, and herbal teas. :) Earphones with your favorite tunes wouldn't hurt either. Meanwhile, bundle up (brrrr!) and keep the faith. I'll bet it will turn out fabulous.

    Are you taking pictures?

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Think of it as an adventure. ....because it is!
    Pam

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I'm with dlm2000 (and, I'm sure, with igloochic): drink heavily. (:

    Hang in there-- and bundle up, and take your vitamin C!

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I think it's a legitimate question. To remain calm, try to be one step ahead of your contractors regarding decisions you will have to make. Do your research ahead of time and make your selections before they ask. And when the unexpected happens, and it will, don't be afraid to stop work until you are satisfied with the solution. Often there is more than the first one (which is usually the easiest and cheapest for the contractor, but you will probably like the least). Post here for support and this too will pass.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    n2cookin I was being sarcastic about the wine - sorta. You do have to find a release that works for you - I don't recommend drinking yourself into a stupor everyday but a glass of wine at the beginning of the evening or some other ritual that you reserve for yourself can be a good thing.

    I lived through having the entire back wall of my 2 story colonial house ripped off and that opened down to a gaping 12 foot deep hole for the new basement, too. We were protected from the elements by a big blue tarp. In November. In Chicago. With a 6 year old and a 2 year old. And on the inside there were holes in the plaster everywhere for the new copper plumbing, changing radiators to forced air and feeding conduit to get rid of the old knob and tube - we lived with bare bulbs hanging as light fixtures for a loooooong time.

    I survived by doing 2 things; taking my kids to the library - A LOT! And holding a picture in my head of where we were headed so that as I walked through the mess, I wasn't focused on what was there but rather on what was to come. It wasn't easy but you haveone thing going for you that I didn't - you have contractors - plural - so your timeline should be reasonable. I had my DH. Period. No subs and he only worked on our house after hours. Talk about the never ending remodel/addition. Ya gotta count your blessings where you can! You'll be fine.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Same as my cure for a cold. You'll need a 4-poster bed, a hat and a bottle of your favorite hooch. Put the hat on the bedpost, get in bed and drink 'til you see two hats! :-)

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Second on Wine and more wine!! I can not believe how much work I had - cleaning up after the workers!! It is like I have to have a broom, vaccuum and dust pan in hand following them as they work! It is so...easy for them to tear downour home as we have to live with it! Oh- it is a nightmear. I honestly think it is easier to move. LOL!:)

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    My crew has been tearing out a kitchen and the homeowner came home from work and whined, "oh no...where is my phone?". It's on the counter, ma'am...it was hanging on the wall that was marked for demo. That wall is no longer supporting a phone jack. *sigh*

    Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeze

    relax.

    Michael

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I survived! LOL The large gaping hole is now filled in with our beautiful french doors. And the house is WARM! yeaaah I'm not one to like things in disarray, what can I say? I decided to pull up my big girl panties and deal with it. I put on DH's heavy coat, went to the bedroom, crawled under the covers, put in earplugs and fell asleep! LOL Yes, I got a little taste of what you all are going through. You have my deepest sympathy!

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    That was fast--now we're waiting for the pics!

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Since contractors are known for not following instructions and for doing the craziest and easiest things, esp when someone isn't there or isn't looking, there is plenty of reason to worry!! This place is a support group for many : )

    I like Val's advice. Glad it all turned out Cookin' : ) Now you can just enjoy!

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Brushworks, I appreciate all that you and your crew do and I understand. We should learn to have faith in the process, in mankind!

    I know these workers are not stockbrokers, but men trying to make a living, some with wives and children who earn less in a year than many of our projects cost. Some are college students trying to make enough money to buy next semester's books. People who "destroy" things, e.g., soldiers, demolition people, don't dress in their Sunday attire for a job that is more grime and guts than glory.

    Their reason for being here was not to court me but to do a job. My reason for being around was to make sure they did their job with little supervision when they had questions I could answer. None graduated magna cum laude from Harvard. They are laborers. Sometimes they got it wrong, rarely, but it was nothing that was irreparable.

    I tried to remember, each night before retiring to bed, we were a day closer to nearing completion because they were here to make that possible.

    If in the end, they had proven themselves to be "seedy," then I would have felt I could rightfully say so, but they were here to do a job and we had faith that as fellow human beings they would and they did it well.

    They were great and even when they suspected I had made the wrong color decision on my grout, they brought more grout with them to show me how they all looked when they dried. They were right and I was grateful!

    When I questioned the shower pan/liner they were using, Michael assured me it was a great one and not to worry.

    They were right when they told me they were not fond of the paint I was going to buy, that it would not be as durable for the bath as another and they were right, and you told me the same.

    The glass man was right when he said I should try to salvage my bathroom mirrors for the backs of my bookcases. I did and it was inexpensive, and he was right and it looks fabulous.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    they were here to do a job and we had faith that as fellow human beings they would and they did it well.

    No more of this for me, Patricia :)

    So, did you actually have Michael/Brushworks working on your house???

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    It's great that some of you trust all of your contractors, but spend a bit of time on the bathroom forum and you will see that there is ample cause to not just blindly trust what people are doing in your house. In the end, you are the one who will pay when something goes wrong. I'm sure my contractors make more money in a year than the total cost of
    my project remodel - heck I'm sure they make more than I do! That's not the point though - a good craftsman is worth his weight in gold. Unfortunately, in my experience, there are more bad than good.

    My dad was in the business for 40 years before retiring - he's where I first got my healthy skepticism from. By the end of his career he was managing guys and running jobs and he can spot a good one or a bad one from a mile away. The rest of my skepticism has come from my job, reinforced by some of the nonsense people report here on GW. I tend to grill people up front and let them know that things will be done my way and give them the opportunity to bail before we get started if they have a problem with that. Luckily, except for the plumber who flaked out on me and did a bunch of things that were not to code that I had to pay to have redone by someone whose head was in the game, my contractors are great. But that doesn't mean that I am not watching everything they do like a hawk and letting them know when I want something done differently from the way they normally do it.

    Also the easy home equity availability of the last several years has brought a huge proportion of hacks to the various trades. The money source has not been dried up for long enough to weed the majority of them out. I'm fortunate in that we are friends with our local building inspector and we've had fantastic luck with anyone he has recommended (true craftsmen) but honestly, I don't know how many people remodel their homes and don't end up with utter crap in the process after seeing what I've seen from some supposed good and reputable contractors.

    About being seedy or not, I am very distrustful of strange people in my house until I get to know them a bit. Part of the reason I chose our contractors (and that it is taking so long) is that they work themselves. Sure it took a week to demo the bathroom when a crew could have done it in a day but I also trust my GC with my house keys without blinking an eye. Maybe it's just the high standards set by my dad but although he was just a blue collar worker, he always dressed neatly and presentable. He pressed his jeans every night for work the next day. That might be going a bit overboard, but all of the guys who work on our house dress neatly and appropriately for the job they are doing. Admittedly, our plumber is way better looking in his police uniform with creased pants and shiny shoes, but he's okay in jeans and a sweatshirt with his company logo too.

    I'm in the 4th month of a gut remodel of our upstairs bath and it has been incredibly stressful to keep on top of every little detail to make sure it's done right. Also, some people are just more affected by chaos in the sanctuary of their home than others. Chelone, I've seen the pictures of your house that you've posted about the way you "really live", and I don't think you are one of those people who requires calm, neatness and order to thrive ;).

    Most people are not rolling in the money so taking on any large expenditure like home remodeling is stressful. If something goes way over budget it IS a big deal to me, so careful planning was of the utmost importance - as is making sure things are done right the first time. With a full time job it's a lot of pressure and stress. DH works from home and I know it's been tough on him to have to deal with people coming and going constantly while he is trying to get his work done.

    So I hearya on how stressful it is but I just keep my eye on the prize. No wine will help, I don't normally drink and when you are 6 months pregnant it's not the time to start ;). Sure, in the context of world atrocities, your remodel is irrelevant - but then again so is this whole board. Surely the resources we spend on paint and even our internet connections could be better spent feeding the starving children in third world countries, but none of us is the second coming of Mother Theresa in that regard and is therefore unfit to judge.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Good post, kwgLisa : ) lol

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I'd like to chime in here...I've been on both sides of the fence- contractor and homeowner.

    it is actually a fact that remodeling and building a new home are extremely stressful. comparing your situation with people less well off is great for gratitude, but does nothing to stem the actual anxiety. do you know that divorce is VERY common after a new build? I saw that as a builder often enough to make me think twice about ever doing it now as a civilian homeowner!

    even knowing a lot about the business, when I have hired people to do remodels on my home I am a total basket case. I hate breathing in dust, eating from a microwave teetering on my bedroom dresser, sharing the house with strangers when I'm sick or need to be alone, etc. it wears on you. and that isn't even taking into account the money, the overages, the mistakes, etc. and I've been taken by at least one contractor, for sure! You'd think I would know better, but I was stressed out from working full time and I wasn't there enough, so didn't ask the right questions or demand things be done a certain way.

    even with what I learned in the business, as a homeowner I make the same mistakes I saw my homeowners make. it's so easy for a contractor to be insensitive because they do this everyday. same as it is easy for a homeowner to mistrust and question their contractor, which is irritating for the contractor who knows what s/he is doing. we're all just humans, trying our best, and remodeling while you live in the house SUCKS.

    the end result is worth it, usually. it must be, because every time I move, I do it again...but wow. I still remember sucking in dust when we had the paster popcorn ceilings removed from our whole house. I can still taste that dust on a bad day:-)

    the thing that stressed me out the most was seeing something that was JUST done ruined by another contractor. like watching the appliance delivery man jam the fridge into the door jam (breaking it off) and then when it wouldn't fit, grinding it over the new door transitions and leaving a looong scrape over the newly done floors. and they say oh, we'll fix it, but sadly, it can't be fixed without redoing the entire (antique) oak floor. it's damaged and that's that.

    yeah, it's challenging. I say hot baths, bike rides, and a glass of good wine.

    p.s. and there are also some contractors who do have degrees, but prefer working with their hands (some of them actually did graduate Magna Cum Laude, but not from Harvard-- *wink*). It's tough to judge people based on the work they are doing or the clothes they are wearing. Both of my grandpas were in the business and they both had degrees. one was a civil engineer...you just never know! not to say I don't get that it can be disconcerting if someone appears dodgy and you are alone with them....I get that.

  • 17 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    I haven't read all these posts word for word, but number one in being able to relax a bit is to make sure you have a contractor that you trust. Get lots of references, talk to them a lot, and if you're not sure about them, get someone else. I have had a lot of work done on my house, from new additions to basement renovations. Almost all of it has been done by the same contractor and his crew, so I know them well enough not to worry at ALL about their work or their integrity.