Coolmama,

My heart goes out to you and your family. Don't say he was
just a gerbil. He was your gerbil and a member of your family and he was special to you. Losing them is the hardest thing about owning pets. Everytime you bring a new animal into your life, you face losing them. But the pain of losing them never overcomes the joy they bring to you.

I have never been without a dog, cat or horse in my 60 plus years. All of them I loved but some were my heart and I tear up just thinking about them. And thinking about them always brings back good memories.

As hard as losing any of them has been, the hardest was when we lost Norm, our Morgan gelding at 34 years of age last September. We had him from age 10. My husband cried for 2 days. I still can't look at the paddock without seeing him there.

Your husband was right, the little guy waited for you to come home so you could be with him when he passed. The bond between humans and animals is very precious. Be thankful you had him in your life for the 3 years that you did and know that he was one very lucky little guy to have had you. It will get better with time.

Wouldn't even begin to try and say why he was fine one day and sick the next but some animals do not show signs of illness until it is to late. I don't know the average live span of gerbils but I would guess tha your little guy was in his senior years.

Jan

Oh, coolmama, I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. The size of the pet doesn't matter, it's the bond you form with them that counts. I agree with your husband; the little guy held on as long as he could to be with you. And how wonderful for him that his last sensations were being held with such love and care.

It's be 30 years since my gerbil and mice days, but I do remember that they can catch colds, infections, and pneumonia easily and go very quickly. He may have had fluid in his lungs, hence the labored breathing.

When pets died when I was young, one of the things that helped my sisters and I (and my parents for that matter!) was to acknowledge the death and celebrate the life. Perhaps because my father is a minister, we always had a formal funeral. We made a "casket" and a marker, dug the grave and my father read from the book of common prayer. He usually had a few comments, but the owner of the pet always got a chance to say something special that they had loved and would always remember about the animal. We would sing a hymn or a special song, then the owner tossed in a few handfuls of dirt. Then we went inside and my mother gave us cookies and cambric tea, while my father filled in the grave and put down the marker. (Something like a special stone that would always be there, but not necessarily always remind you.)

I think it helps the healing process, to let go. Perhaps your daughter could make a marker, and you could hold a "memorial service"? Each of you could say something nice about the gerbil, and how wonderful that he shared three years with you?

There's a great kids book my mother had for the children when she taught pre-school. Something like "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney". A girl's pet (cat I think) dies, and her mother tells her to think about 10 special thing the animal had brought to their lives. It's a great book, and a great way of coping with a beloved pets death.

Best wishes to you and your family.

I'm so sorry you lost your dear pet. These little pets don't have the lifespan of people, of course, but somehow that doesn't seem to make it any easier, does it? Hope you have some pictures of him. When our 17-year-old cat died this year, we made a photo album of the pictures we had of her. Maybe you could do something in memory of your pet.

Take care.

Hi there. Just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you. I know people who have lost pets, but I haven't yet. I knew when I got my cat that I will probably be alive longer than he will. I think some people console themselves with the old addage "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." That really doesn't help the pain however true it might be. What I would be tempted to do is the WRONG THING... I would immediately go out and get another to numb the pain of the loss. Knowing that no one can ever replace the one who has passed, but just so that the space is filled. I would be tempted to use the new pet as a distraction from what just happened. That would be unfair to myself because it would inhibit the grieving process... and unfair to the new animal because I wouldn't be taking him/her on for the right reasons. Of course this is all about you... giving yourself time to go through the stages of the grieving and healing process. I am glad that you, your husband, and your daughther have each other to help you through this time. Be well.

I'm sorry about your loss. It is never easy, but I imagine it was a great comfort for him to have you there for him and holding him.

I'm a believer that the pain never lessens, you just become stronger than the pain as time goes on. I had a little pet gerbil who passed in 1994 (the same week as our cat), I still think about him and miss him, but his memory makes me smile.

(((HUGS))) to you.

Having had many pets, I've had to deal with dying too often. It never gets easier and as someone said, the size of the pet doesn't matter.

It sounds like your gerbil had a great personality and a wonderful life.

Our first bunny was a little white dwarf who weighed about 5 lbs. He was full of personality and we dearly loved him. He was about 5 when he died, which I had read was about the right time for his life expectancy. He also was fine one day and then the next on death's door. Perhaps its better that way, at least they live a full life right up till the end.

Just know in time it will get better and you'll remember him with smiles and not tears.

We buried our bunny in the backyard and he has a flat garden stepping stone with a bunny on it marking his grave.

Hugs to you and your family.
Sher

I am sorry for your loss.

It is never easy to lose a pet. I have lost many over the years and I have to say that I still miss each of them. Rats, dogs, cats, each one has a special place in my heart and I smile when I think of how much fun they were to have in my life.

Wow,thank you so much everyone! I didnt expect such a response.I guess it's so hard for me cuz my mom isnt an animal lover and always told me they dont have souls.So I was extra sad thinking of this poor gerbil just being gone.Of course I do not portray the same attitude towards my daughter. I told her he is free now and no longer in pain and in a better place.
People I know havent been very supportive,like,oh it's just a gerbil.It is nice to know people like you guys who have been through the same thing and know it is hard.I'am doing better today.I do have pictures of him and even have him on video camera.I'm thinking of blowing up a picture I have of my daughter holding him and framing it and giving it to her.

My son had a rabbit while in college that his fiance gave him. Pinball was his name cause of the way he hopped like a ball does in a pinball game. It was only a couple years old and he came back to his dorm one evening and the rabbit wouldn't eat. It ended up dying during the next day. My son took it to the vet school on campus and they couldn't find any obvious reason for it dying. Said it looked very healthy.

Small animals can go very quickly - seems like the gerbils and hamsters I had while teaching only lived about 3 years. Maybe your little one actually lived a normal life span.

There have been other posts on grieving for our pets. Do a search and you will find some. There is a website called Rainbow's Bridge that you can visit. It says that our animals wait for us on this side of heaven. Then when we join them, we cross the bridge together or something as such. Maybe your daughter will find it comforting.

I would wait a little while then venture out to get another pet. Time helps but I always believe that you will have a special place in your heart for your each pet you have.

Mboston,that sounds like a nice website,I will be sure to check it out.
I think if we do get another pet it will not be a gerbil (cant replace him) I was thinking of maybe a bunny...but have never had one so we'll see.Thanks again.This is a great forum!

Coolmama, I am so sorry. We used to have pet rats and they went pretty much the same way. I think Alison is right about those little critters being more susceptible to colds and pneumonia. Don't let your mom get to you, I feel sorry for people like her. It must be awful to have no capacity to love animals. Personally, I am convinced animals have souls, and I believe we owe them kindness, compassion and love, and that is just what your gerbil got from you!!

I'm sorry about your little pal. Three years is a nice long life for the smaller critters like Gerbils. Also for the little guys that would be considered prey in the wild the most likely will not show any symptoms of being ill until they just can not hide it any more. Leaves them too vulnerable to preditors. That's probably why your little guy never showed any signs of being ill.

Lisa

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've lost a few fur babies over the years as well. The loss never completely goes away, but the pain of the loss does lessen with time. I, too, still get all teared up when I think of them...and still miss them. Each and everyone of them. I do believe that one day we will be together again.

Be Safe, Rach

Sorry to hear of your loss. It doesn't matter the size of an animal, it's the love involved...I never had pets either when I was little, but more than made up for it later. My kids were never without animals for one day of their lives, so you are teaching your child to have a bond with an animal. Get another pet to love. It will help, but you will always remember your little gerbil friend.

[IMG]http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o218/julesvern_01/gerbe.jpg[/IMG]

Here is a picture of our little guy...Thank you for your kindness.

{{!gwi}}

Coolmama, you had a beautiful baby. Having lost a few babies over a lifetime Can really empathize with you AND IT WILL GET BETTER. Go to my page and my clippings,scroll down to a tribute to Keebler and read that thread. Hope it helps. (((HUGS)))
oakleif

I sympathized with you. It's not easy losing a pet. At one point we had guinnea pigs. My daughter started the craze with Sammy. He was so cute and funny so I got Billie, a black long hair pig. We treated them like they were family. They would do races around the livingroom and it was commical to watch them. Then came Gizmo, Billies baby. The 2 of them would sit on the back of the couch and watch us. When they died, we all cried. They all had shoebox burials in the backyard.

I went to that Rainbow bridge website and it was very touching.I think it helped my daughter some,but at first she cried harder when i read it to her (cuz it's really emotional reading) We walked over to his grave tonight and the poor thing was a bundle of tears.So I decided to go to the rainbow bridge website,and I do think it has helped.Whoever made that page is awesome.It is a wonderful thought that our pets are waiting for us while in a lovely place.Thanks for sharing that with me mboston.

Coolmama, the size of the pet isn't a measure of the emptiness in our hearts when they leave us. Hugs to you all.

So sorry for your heart ache..... ((((hugs))))
I have no doubt that there exists souls in animals. I mean, come on - think about it & watch them! My father too does not believe they are soul-filled (that's probably why he can hunt?) but even in my love for him, I always felt pity for that part of him. The love that exists between pet & owner is a very real thing and cannot be all for naught. Or all for this material earth only. I believe with all my heart that there is "someplace" beyond this earth for that love, for those souls that share it. A 'rainbow bridge' is a nice depiction of it for us humans who, as great as we are, undoubtedly still can't imagine (or comprehend) the awesomeness of it! Perhaps considering it this way might help in your getting stronger (other poster is right IMO, the pain never does lessen....). I hold tight to this personally since I too have been separated from beloved ones.

Like the OP said, it doesn't matter the size of a pet, and I would add neither does it matter how long you've had it. A hummingbird flew into my glass door and injured his wing. I got it before a preditor could and started feeding it sugar water through a sringe. They have to be fed very often so I got a cage and took him everywhere I went, even to work. I was told that they can only live 2 weeks in captivity but this little guy lived 6 1/2 weeks. He was very attuned to me and knew I wanted him to fly again so he would flap his little wings and I would clap for him. He was never afraid of me. I was holding him when he died and I thought my heart would break. That's been 7 years and I no longer grieve for him but I've never forgotten him and have several pictures that stay out. I look forward to seeing him again.

I'm so sorry for your loss, coolmama, and no he wasn't just a gerbil.

Coolmama, what a cute little guy he was. I'm getting teary now because he looks a great deal like my little Yogi did. Yogi lived from 1992-1994, I'd like to think he had a fun little gerbil life. He was originally purchased as a pet for our cat, who had become an indoor cat at age 10 and was a little bored. As you know, gerbils are such inquisitive and outgoing little critters. The cat would watch him in his tank for hours on end, and he would watch her back with similar interest- never hid away like more skiddish rodents. The cat passed away from cancer on a Wednesday and I found Yogi passed away the following Sunday. I figured they belonged together, and I believe strongly that they were, and still are, together.

More (((HUGS)))

coolmama, he lived a life full of love and that is all that matters.

We have our own little Hamster cemetery so I can tell you that "Rodents" usually only live about 3 years. Our Teddy lived the longest and was almost 4 when he died with the same symptoms as your baby.

Chrissy it was horrible, she was bleeding from her back end. A regular vet doesn't take care of "rodents" you have to find an exotic animal vet. This vet said he had never seen such a healthy looking and loving Hamster before.

$190 later I was giving her anti-biotics and pain meds in case it was a uterian infection, but odds are it wasn't. The vet looked me in the eye and said "I am prescribing more pain meds than she will need. If you don't wan't to use it bring her back." I said ok, he repeated. I figured out his point 3 days later and gave her a double dose, she fell asleep.

It really doesn't matter what your pet/family member is, if you love it you love it. And Pffft on anyone who doesn't understand.

Awww...what a cutie. I'm so sorry, coolmama. Those poor little guys just don't live very long. I got a hamster when I was eleven years old and I loved him to death. He passed away when I was fourteen, fairly geriatric for a hamster. My hamster got an infection in his pouch and we took him to the vet, but I think that they are so small that they are rather difficult to treat...he didn't make it. I just think your little guy's time was up. It might help your daughter if she could conduct a memorial service for him, as others suggested. I even made a casket of sorts for mine, and buried him with much ceremony in the backyard, which helped me to feel a bit better. Good luck...I hope that you and your family get to feeling better soon.

Oh,I am so sorry for the loss. I feel so sad for you and your daughter. I would be crying and heartbroken myself. Still a beloved pet and loved so much. He had life and gave happiness to you both.

Sometimes life sux and you just don't know what to do.

Bless ya both. Star

My daughter is still really having a time with this. No matter what spin I put on it,she feels that she cant see him anymore and that it just hurts. We did have a memorial service,and she goes to visit the site everyday and leaves flowers.
In an attempt to help her (and us) which may not be right,my husband went and picked out a baby bunny. I couldnt bring myself to get another gerbil,and no pet will ever replace him...but I was hoping it would help distract from the pain some.
Kinda funny,cuz this baby bunny is alot like him~very spry and energetic and an ESCAPE ARTIST like gerbil was.
I told my daughter when she dies she will see him again and she said I hope it goes fast :(
She actually saw him die in my hands so I hope it didnt traumatize her.
I really appreciate all the support and kind comments. My heart also goes out to all of you who have lost yours as well.I never knew it could hurt this much.

Coolmama,

As long as I can remember, pets have filled a 'void' in my life. They are so loyal, trusting & make no judgements. They love you unconditionally regardless of your age, status, beliefs, faults etc. I don't recall ever being without a cat & since I've had a house, a dog also.

Many years ago, when I was 18 & living in a fourplex apt. in the country, I had a cat Shamu. One fall day, while visiting a farm, the workers found an infant bunny in a bale. I recall them saying that is was unusual for the time of year & bunny had no chance. So, I said I'd take it home, which I did. I fed Buffy with a doll's bottle with Shamu sitting at my feet, awaiting his turn. Yes, I fed that cat, too, so he didn't feel left out. Later, when Buffy ate potato peels, when I prepared a meal, Shamu ate raw potato peels. I think Buffy thought it was a cat, & loved to snuggle with Shamu even trying to nurse. Buffy thrived & even knew it's name, coming when I called. He & Shamu were the best of friends. I loved that bunny & had a stong bond - bottle feeding is so special.

As usual, Shamu slept in bed with me, while Buffy slept in a box, with a screen on top, nearby. One morning Buffy wasn't in the box. Much to my horror, I found Buffy dead under the bed. I was devastated. I had a difficult time coping, as did Shamu. At the time, it really bothered me that it had died alone, without a sound. The slightest sound from a critter, awakes me.

I learned very quickly that mourning a pet isn't socially accepted, generally. No one understood the grief I was experiencing. Basically, the attitude was it was "just" a wild rabbit. Oh well, big deal.

This forum is wonderful as here there are people who understand, share your pain, & offer comfort.

You do need to give yourself time to grieve. It's not easy. I've lost beloved pets since, & always have a hard time coping, more with some than others.

My heart goes out to you. A gerbil, isn't JUST a gerbil, it's a piece of your heart.

Summer

Thank you summer...I have exprienced that attitude from people in my life about getting over it it's just a gerbil. Frankly it makes me mad,cuz that gerbil was there for me alot more then some of them have been! Everyone on this forum has been very understanding and supportive,and has made me feel alot better! People in my life think I'm kinda werid cuz I love animals so much.I almost really do prefer their company to people!
Sorry about your bunny...I just got one and I'm already very in love with her.The cat also likes her too,just as he liked the gerbil.He is a strange cat because he has never gone after another animal and tried to hunt them.He doesnt really like other cats though.