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stretchad_gw

I'm never going to find a house! I'm too picky.

17 years ago

DH and I went house hunting in our new city earlier this week. We visited at least 15 homes over the course of two days. Saw a mix of utter crappy homes, well-done homes, older, newer, good neighborhoods, mediocre ones...

EVERY single one that we went into I immediately found things I wanted to change. "It could use better baseboards", "I'd continue the hardwoods in to the dining room to make the room flow better", "It needs this, that, this, this, and oh yeah, that too..."

My first house was new construction and while I like having the opportunity to pick finishes, I do not want to do a new construction home again, because I want a mature neighborhood. I cannot afford new construction in an existing neighborhood with mature trees.

SO. There is ONE house that I keep coming back to. It has good structure, good neighborhood, good yard. I didn't find fault with TOO much in it (It could use 6 panel doors instead of hollow core, better bathroom flooring, new tub, an updated kitchen & appliances, new carpet upstairs, and perhaps, all the woodwork painted white at some point. It's got an 80s vibe going!). You could say I have a vision for what I want this house to be like at some point in the future. I'm not sure there will be many more houses that come up in this neighborhood in the timeframe that DH and I need to make a decision (we're relocating for a new job)

My concern is that I'll NEVER walk into a house and go "this is the one" unless is perfectly updated to exactly how I would have done it. Should I just go with a home that I have a vision for?? Is this as close as I'm going to get?

Comments (22)

  • 17 years ago

    stretchad - you will continue to be frustrated if you keep looking for the house that is already the way you want it to be. How many homes have you seen, even in the magazines, that have everything the way you would want it. Go with the home that is the most conducive to you acheiving YOUR vision. Yes, with new construction and funds permitting, you are able to have it your way. Find the right house that has the style and floorplan you like and make it your way. That's part of the fun! Or maybe that's my warped sense of fun :) Don't go crazy looking at what the houses aren't; look at what they are...

    Have fun!

  • 17 years ago

    Have you never just gone to a house and your FIRST 'feeling' was "I love this", possibly then followed later by going through your checklist, rather than just using the list and not just being grabbed by the place, THEN doing the figuring about whether you could make any changes or fixes you felt were necessary? Without that personal 'wow' thing, you'll never be happy if your only criteria are on paper, though if the 'vision' house did wow you inside as well as on paper, then go for it! I also have a theory (that comes up mostly while watching house hunting programs where people are overly picky - not happy even after seeing 1,000 places)... and that is that for them, the wow is never there because they never come across the house that (subconsciously) reminds them of e.g. their parents' place, the one they grew up in, and only that would give them the warm fuzzies... What do you think?

  • 17 years ago

    Stretchad - well first it sounds as if you've only been looking for a week. Do you have much more time? Of course you aren't a first time home buyer and seem to know yourself and your druthers well. So that said....
    I think the ONE sounds pretty good. Things like neighborhood, size of yard, mature trees - well those can't be changed! Hollow core doors, painting, carpet, really most of your list isn't too bad since you say the house structure is good.
    I would think that if this isn't your forever home, is a good price, good resale then this sounds pretty good. The only thing I saw in your list that gave me pause was "updated kitchen" by that do you mean a 40,000 tear out remodel or just some updating? Lets face it, are you going to walk into a home and have even the carpet color and style exactly the one you would have picked?
    I think I'd go with the vision, as long as the vision isn't too far off.

    Lucy - I sort of fall into your theory. I had a house 2 moves back that I lived in for 10 years. I loved that place, it fit me like a glove. When I moved I kept looking for a similar place and couldn't find it. Bought acreage and tried to build it. Missed AND lost my shirt when selling. Now I'm in an apt going through the same misery. It had a screened in porch that faced the 60 acre unused school property that I walked my dog in (like my private savannah), a sunny spot for a vegetable garden, just the right number of trees for shade without being too dark, wedge shaped lot for a nice backyard (no neighbors behind of course) the garage opened to the house for groceries and the porch which became a mudroom in the winter, a dry basement for storage, surrounding trees and habitat that led to great back yard birds and wildlife, and an easy and close commute to work. It was just a little starter ranch, but I literally mourn that place.
    Yep, I'm having a hard time and quite down about it frankly.
    I did look at one house, in a price range I could go but don't want to, that had a lot of "my list" but wasn't "IT" in the "intangibles" (which comes down to sort of how the house and lot and everything fits together). Had it been much cheaper it would have been close enough and I probably would buy it. Once you've had a place that you really loved, its hard to go back.

  • 17 years ago

    We've moved several times for my hubby's job. Each time entailed finding a new home in a city far from our home at the time. It's a different animal when you "have" to find a home, and in my case "had" to find a home in just a weekend. If you have tons of time, months, you can take your time and not compromise. Hold out for that perfect home, if time is no issue. If you have only limited time, then sometimes you have to settle for a home that is "almost" right. You insist on the things that are important and you stick with them. The rest you compromise on. So unless you're willing to move to the new area and rent for a bit, you'll have to compromise.

    If this home is in the right area, right price, right floor plan you can do a lot with it to make it the home you want. Just make sure the price is in line with doing all these updates.

  • 17 years ago

    Anytime you are buying an existing home there is always going to be things you want to change. Even when you build one you find things later you wished you'd done.

    When looking at existing homes I went in with everything can be changed within reason and that location was more important along with a price that would suit any updating needed.

    I have to say I prefer if updating needs to be done as I would have a much harder time to justifying re-doing something that is new, but not to my liking. All the things you mentioned are things that are doable.

  • 17 years ago

    Sounds to me like you ought to snap up the house that you "keep coming back to" as long as the price is right. By that I mean that you'll be able to afford to do the projects you mentioned to make the house the way you want it. There's no reason to do all of them at once right away, but you'll want to be able to do them in a timeframe that you're still happy with the house.

    One thing, if you start looking at houses in terms of what they could be instead of what they are, you'll start noticing a lot more house that could work. So make sure you pay attention to the things you can't change: the neighborhood, the schools, the commute to work, that kind of thing.

  • 17 years ago

    Find a house with good "bones" that's in a good location, and worry about changing the piddly things as time and money permits.

  • 17 years ago

    I think you just haven't found the house that grabs at your heart. Just like a spouse, you fall in love first and then work through the, um, 80's baseboards?

    On one househunting go-round I looked at 48 houses before I found "the one". And I was beginning to think there wasn't going to be any such thing, but there was. It is still one of my favorite houses.

    Luckily for me finding "the one" spouse took considerably fewer hunts...

  • 17 years ago

    To me, the #1 rule in real estate is ALWAYS location, location, location. That said, if the house you keep coming back to has a good structure, good yard and it's in a good location - go for it. I'm in full agreement that doors, and moldings and about anything else can be changed over time and of course with $$$. But that assumes you are the type that wants to bother with making the changes.

    When we were looking for our current house, we looked at about 80 before we put an offer on this one. And the #1 reason we bought it (it's a 1918 house in an awesome neighborhood), is that it had the original dining room built-ins, wainscoting and floors in the living and dining rooms. We're slowly working on unmuddling all of the other rooms. But we like the unmuddling process, too, so it's worth it to get the historical accuracy in a way that works for us.

  • 17 years ago

    Hang in there! :)
    We did the same thing. We kept looking at so many homes. I was nervous and in a time crunch too.

    There's always some doubt. Maybe you are having buyers cold feet? Do you love this home you keep going back to. Or is it a back up? You are not being too picky. We saw so many homes. We walked away from one house, I thought I loved it yet it was not feeling like home. I just thought, well, I could live there. It did need a lot of expensive cosmetic work.

    The one we finally purchased was not perfect with cosmetics. However,the location, the floor plan and property.... we fell in love with it. No major renovations. But we were excited about the changes we would make. (we always are working on the house anyway. ;) It definitely exceeded the one we almost settled with. I knew it was our house when we first viewed it. It felt like home.

    The best of wishes to you and your family with finding your new home! :)

  • 17 years ago

    There's only one response that comes to mind:

    DON'T PAINT THE WOODWORK!!!!!

    If it's a "80s house" I won't protest, but if we're talking about "80 years old" then I implore you to reconsider!

    That is all. :)

  • 17 years ago

    Larzebub - haha! It's a house built in 1988. NO WAY would I paint an 80 year old house's woodwork. It's got oak everything. I think I could make it work with my preferred color palate (think of the colors you see in PF Changs, and Starbucks I suppose). I just prefer white :-)

    We are limited on time which is making this a bit more tricky. And, we're not familiar with the city either but we gotten familiar with it as fast as we can! Fortunately it's not huge, and we've narrowed things down to a couple of key neighborhoods.

    We're heading back up on Thursday, and will revisit the one that DH and I keep decorating in our heads. I think what's holding us back is the price. It's a bit high for the neighborhood and I don't want to overpay. We'll see how it goes! I think we're leaning towards biting the bullet on this one.

    Oh and I was talking to my mother in law. She is quite the hilarious lady, and when I was saying it felt like the house had an endless supply of little weekend projects she said that, "WELL, why would you ever WANT to run out of projects in your house. If you did, you'd have to MOVE!"
    She is the queen of weekend projects.

  • 17 years ago

    I doubt anyone reading is the seller of the house you are considering. Maybe you'd post the area in case one of us knows it well enough to venture an opinion -- since 'loction' is key to your decision.

    Also, how long will you live in this house? Are more transfers looming?

  • 17 years ago

    I'm buying in Madison, WI. This particular neighborhood (Wexford) has been named best neighborhood on the west side by Madison's magazine. It's got walking/bike paths, parks, conservatories, lots of cul-de-sacs, good schools, neighborhood pool, tennis courts, etc. Good proximity to highway, downtown, shopping.

    And we'll be in this house at least 5 years. Transfers after then are possible, but highly up to me to decide when, if ever :-), and even then, I'm with a large company that has a very comprehensive relocation plan.

    But, it's very safe to say that this is probably not a forever home. We don't have any kids yet, so its hard to say what we'll want to do once we start that part of our lives (move closer to parents?)

  • 17 years ago

    A week is nothing. I looked for THREE YEARS. Then I finally found the one.

  • 17 years ago

    You might want to consider renting. We did that when I felt like I couldn't find anything. Found a nice executive home with a pool, stayed there for a year and a half. At 9 months I started looking in earnest for a house, 6 months later I had found one, it took two months to get it to where we could move in, right as the lease was up.

    And I went into that rental house kicking and screaming, too, saying "I'm not a renter!" I totally learned my lesson, I found a MUCH better house and had a MUCH better negotiating position with my capital not tied up in another house when I purchased this one.

    And I discovered I really didn't want a house with a pool, after all!

    Maybe at least give rentals in the area a look-see...

  • 17 years ago

    My mom, who has bought and sold many houses, always has advised me to find a house with good bones in a good location, first and foremost. In other words, a well-built house in a good neighborhood/area is number 1. Most everything else, albeit layout and size, etc., can be changed. (Although I guess you could change layout if you knocked out walls and you can increase size by adding on.)

    I looked for two YEARS before I found my first house. It wasn't that I was picky. I just wasn't quite ready to make the financial commitment. Took me a week to find our current home. I loved it from the moment I saw it, and so did DH. And it has great bones in a great location. We've even met the builders.

  • 17 years ago

    We looked for about 1 year maybe 50 houses or so, the only house I liked my husband did not like. Never found one we both agreed on. It turned out for the best as some friends of ours lived on this cute little dead end street outside of town and every time I drove down it I thought this is where we should live. So to make a long story short we purchased a 1940Âs house at the end of their street which was on a 4 acre lot, sold the house and 2 acres and built our current (and forever) house on the other 2 acres.
    We ended up with a floor plan we wanted, great location and great neighbors.
    I still love driving down our street...

  • 17 years ago

    My DH and I are first time home buyers...we are in a similar situation because we could get an overpriced townhouse (IMO) or a single family home for our price range. If we could just do 20-30K more, we could definitely find our perfect home.

    We've looked for the last four months and have seen over 40 homes. We've had a couple rejected offers and we feel like it will never work out. We really want a house because we want to have kids soon and a fenced area for our two dogs. I also walk in everyplace and want to knock down walls, replace appliances, and get new floors, etc. None of the houses we see have any upgrades...I am glad that someone else does the same thing.

    We are so overwhelmed now and we don't know what is good or bad anymore...we just want a house. I can't decide if we are settling with our prospective houses or if we were too picky to start out with. We are living with family right now and while we are VERY thankful...we are ready for our own space (I am sure our family is too).

    Good luck on your quest...I am jealous of the people that have a limited time frame. It would make the decision easier.

  • 17 years ago

    If the location is good and the updates you want to do will increase value in 5 years (but not over for the neighborhood), go for it. It can be your practice home. It's really hard to find exactly what you want, I know. But to me it's so rewarding to make a house your own by making little changes that has big impact. (And a little sweat equity is nice should you move.)

    Although I should also say your or your hubby should have some degree of handiness. In our first house, my DH saved me more than once when I started a project and bit off more than I could chew.

    Oh and one more thing, it's A LOT easier to do these types of things before kids. : ) They tend to like to "help".

  • 17 years ago

    Hello, been lurking a bit. Lots of good info here, thanks.

    FWIW, I agree that if the things you can't change are right and there is room in the price to do the rest ... thats a pretty good place to be.

    I knew the minute we walked into our current home, it would be ours, more than 20 yrs. ago. We had looked at a few dozen as I recall but the search was over when we got here.

    Since then we've added several investment props to the pile and since last fall have been looking for a new joint for us.

    Found an REO that is the only house of hundreds that can tick off every item on our list.

    Trying to convince the bank that they should stop holding on to it has been frustraiting, aggravating, stressfull etc. but now it is finally fun. They are offering counters in less than 24 hrs. and moving proposed closing dates up. Still not moving as much in price as they'll need to yet but it is vast improvement. Guess submitting the roofing bid and the well test did the trick :-)

    It kinda feels like I'm the lone bidder. Its got great bones and for us, a great loc. (acerage close to where we need to be). Its way more than we need but the lot, loc. and subdivision are pretty near perfect. Some minor damage from the eviction but I'm pricing that in and will order the full blown insp. once we have a deal.

    I was at the auction, I know the number ... they might get it but I'm thinkin not.

    There is a lot of inventory out there.

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