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anniedeighnaugh

Invitations? Party management questions

13 years ago

I know this isn't home decor, but it's about making good use of the beautiful homes we have designed.

We have had a number of natural disasters and such in our area which bring the neighbors outside and talking with each other...which we have all noticed and said we should get together for a non disaster sometime.

I'd like to have an informal summer party and invite the neighbors...some I know better than others. I would like to spare myself a boat load of work though...I have been to many parties where you're expected to bring a dish and a bottle and they work out just fine. I'm thinking of something along that line....I also would like it to be more like an open house so people feel free to come and go as their schedule allows...

Any suggestions on how to word the invitation? How to manage the food so you don't end up with 8 versions of potato salad? Include or not include kids? (we have no children and our house is not child friendly...but if the kids play outside, we're fine with that....) How much lead time on the invitations? Should I request RSVPs knowing many won't any way. Do you put both a start and end time on the invite? I was thinking 4-8pm on a Sunday...or would Saturday be better? It matters not to us as we are both retired....

I've not done anything like this before, don't want it to be formal and stuffy, but want to manage the event so it is enjoyable for everyone....any insights, suggestions and experiences would be most welcome.

TIA!

Comments (17)

  • 13 years ago

    I think it would be hard to have a 'pot luck' dinner and an Open House...
    If you want guests to bring food, don't you need to know when they will be at your house with the food?

    We have entertained our neighbors by serving strawberry shortcake (pound cakes, berries, whipping cream, coffee, ice tea).

    My friend has a yearly Ice Cream social.

    Both are easy. Easy and casual is comfortable for all.

  • 13 years ago

    I think what you would like to do in gathering the neighbors for a 'non-disaster event' is very nice.

    I don't have a problem with the potluck concept, either. What I think might be an issue is trying to marry a potluck and an open house. Primarily because the food will arrive with the guests - meaning early arrivals may not have much to enjoy, later arrivals may have more, or be faced with bits and pieces of leftovers. Plus, people may wish to take their container home when they leave.

    I think you may also have an issue with the kid thing. If it is a neighborhood party in the middle of a Sunday, families will expect to bring kids. You can't expect them to leave them outside the whole time while the parents are inside, if that is what you are saying. Can you do an outside event, so the no one spends much time inside except for 'necessary' stops?

    What you might consider is billing it as a neighborhood potluck. Party from 4-8, drinks and 'catching up chatter' from 4-5,food will be served at 5 PM. People will then all bring their contributions in time for the meal. I think you should consider providing the any meat, and ask the guests to bring salads and sides and desserts. You should also provide coffee, tea, soft drinks, water, and whatever alcohol you wish to serve.

    If you don't want to provide the alcohol, you can note on the invite as to what beverages and food will be provided. Then if people want to bring alcohol, it is their choice.

    I think invites would be nice, either by e-mail if you have those addresses, or maybe by printing up a cute flyer and dropping them off at people's homes. Let the invite imply a casual event, which a potluck is anyway, call it a summer celebration.

    If you prefer an open house event, then I think a potluck won't work. Keep an open house simple, mostly things like fresh veggie and fruit trays with dip, cheese and meat tray, maybe a crockpot with cocktail meatballs and another with little hot dogs. Set out cans of pop and bottled water in tubs of ice, have a Sangria if you want alcohol. Cookies and brownies. Move your time back to 1-5, so that people don't expect a meal.

    For either event, use some of the fun, brightly colored plastic or paper plates and napkins, plastic silverware if needed.

    Have something for the kids to do outside - bag toss, wiffle balls and plastic bats, ring toss, etc.

    Have fun!

  • 13 years ago

    There are times when it is appropriate to exclude children, but a community party is not one of them, especially at the time you plan to hold this. Nor is it possible to keep the children outside if the adults are inside/outside. You can't do an open house (having people stop by at their convenience as a potluck, because you need the food there throughout.

    Potlucks are hard to arrange. I would suggest that you supply the food and for those who ask what they can bring, suggest desserts or drinks. Prepared foods are so readily available these days - it's not hard to put a menu together with no cooking on your part.

  • 13 years ago

    As someone who lives on a very festive street, here are some things that we have done in the past for you to consider.

    If you want an adults only event, then it will need to be an evening/night event. Kids will have sports conflicts at other times of day, year-round. It is hard to find a date that works for everyone.

    Here are some of the adult events we have.

    We have had a progressive dinner, with one house hosting appetizers and cocktails, another hosting dinner and wine, and a third hosting desserts and after dinner drinks. This was planned quite in advance. It will require 2-3 months advance notice to give everyone enough notice to not already have conflicts. For this event, the 3 hosting homes each had 2-3 host families, and drinks were provided by the non-hosting families. This was really fun, and lasted until the wee hours of the morning. We collected donations for the local food bank at this as well.

    We have yearly Ladies Cookie Exchange at the holidays, and also a Mens Scotch and Cigar night at the holidays. Having women/men only means that no one has to find a babysitter. These are done on weeknights.

    Some of our family events have been these:

    We have pot-luck block parties. These are kids and adults ,and literally in the middle of the street. Weber grills fired up, tables carried out there. Area away from the grills set aside for bike riding and other games for the kids.

    Another favorite has been family driveway movie night. People bring various appetizers and drinks, and lawn chairs and 2 movies are shown. First is rated G type appropriate for all viewers. Second is a PG13 selection for after the young kids go to bed. Very informal and fun. Projector from someone's office (like used for power points) shows the movie on the garage door.

    In a few weeks we are having a soccer night. Block cocktails and appetizers for all, and then a bus taking everyone to the local game. Tickets as a block.

    For assigning items to bring, we do A-K brings appetizer, M-Z brings drinks, or even side/odd of the street, etc.

  • 13 years ago

    Perhaps you would be better off organizing a neighborhood picnic?

  • 13 years ago

    I agree with the thoughts above of potluck vs open house. I like the idea of the ice cream social or something similar. Maybe a fire and smores night? Definitely would be kept outside, casual and the children would love it. That way you have a theme and your neighbors will know exactly what to expect in regards to the food. It would be extremely difficult to exclude the children. If you want to keep a day event, it might be worth the expense of renting a bounce house or a balloon guy/face painter. This would keep the kids entertained for a couple hours while the adults chitchat.

  • 13 years ago

    I agree with the problems pointed out above with the dueling concepts of pot luck meal and open house. Just would also like to point out that an open house is mainly a vehicle for the hosts' convenience--- so they can spend time with each individual or couple as they don't all arrive at once. This is somewhat at odds with the idea that all the neighbors might want to be there at the same time to see each other as well as you and your DH.

    The dessert party, ice cream social or whatever, sounds very doable and not too expensive. If you want just the grownups, do have it in the evening and call it a cocktail party. You can ask guests to bring their favorite canape and provide the alcohol. Or do a margarita party where you won't have to stock a full bar. I think it is nice of you to want to host your neighbors. We do this occasionally and enjoy seeing everyone and are able to update phone numbers and emails for emergency calls.

  • 13 years ago

    If you want adults only, and don't want all of the food responsibility, why not do a progressive dinner party? We used to do them all the time, in our old neighborhood where people didnt have 32 acre "lots". You can do about 4-5 houses a night, and sometimes people paired up if they didnt want to host but were willing to cook ....

  • 13 years ago

    I often do chilidogs for summer open houses. Two or more crock pots of chili(one veggie, one meat) and extra hot sauces on the side and then I only need to grill the dogs as needed. I leave the uncooked hot dogs in a cooler by the grill and the buns in bags on the food table with the crockpots and then have bunches of fresh veggie and hummus(can be left out a bit longer than ranch dip)and chips and salsa and simple non spoil desserts. It is not fancy but it is so easy and all done ahead of time so I can relax and enjoy my company.

  • 13 years ago

    Wow! So many wonderful and thoughtful suggestions! I really appreciate your insights and experience. I clearly will have to make up my mind as to what kind of party I want to have.

    Thanks so much!

  • 13 years ago

    How many people?

  • 13 years ago

    In the years I have lived in my neighborhood, there have been many gatherings....some omre successful than others.
    One couple annually held a Cocktail party for the whole street. Because it was "cocktails" and mostly outside, children were not part of the party but generally in the neighborhood so they could have an eye kept on them. That worked very well...cocktails at 6 and people were mostly gone home by 7:30. She did all the work....had a buffet of snacks, like a salad or 2 and mini sandwiches and some cookies.
    Another type of party when the kids were mostly teens was a block wide cookout in the front yards. Several people moved their grills to the front yard and the host family set up tables in their yard and people brought their own meat and drinks and the host family provided sides.
    Another type was everyone bring a dish to share, hosts provided beer and soft drinks and if you wanted something else, bring it.
    Another family would have a christmas party, with cocktails, appetizers and cookies and kid drinks...that was like 5:30 to 7....and always fun even if your schedule prevented you from more than just popping in to say hello.

    frankly, I think if you are having a party....do it all. It's not a lot of work or expense to make an easy meal and provide drinks for a crowd. It can be something very easy like hot dogs on the grill, baked beans, slaw and potato salad....with watermelon and cookies for dessert....or much more elaborate like grilled chicken or a sliced ham if you wish.
    Frankly I really don't like a pot luck....either because I don't much like fixing a dish and then going out.....and as a hostess I don't like wondering what will come in the door.

    If I were in your place, I would have a picnic, outside, kids invited, borrow or rent tables, grill something, make a big pan of beans, another of pasta salad and a green cold something...slaw, salad...something, fill a cooler with white and red wine bottles, beer and soft drinks....and don't forget water....and perhaps have icecream bars for dessert.
    Easy....and trust me....people will be very happy just to come and have fun.
    Linda c

  • 13 years ago

    For the reasons already suggested I would not try to combine a potluck and an open house. A potluck needs to be scheduled hours. An open house is fine, but you need to plan in providing all the food/drinks.

    I've hosted a handful of what I call "garage parties" for our neighborhood. They're fairly easy and pain free. Would something like that work for you? The cars are left out and tables/chairs are set up in the garage. Garage doors are left open. If it's a really hot day we will set up some fans. It keeps people out of the sun, and keeps the entire neighborhood out of my house!

    We'll usually rent one of those inflatable bouncey things for the kids, or someone will bring over their inflatable water slide, etc. and set them up in the driveway/front yard. That way the kids have something to do and the parents can do their thing while also keeping an eye on the kids. My goal is usually to keep people out of the house except for the restroom and this nails it. :)

    We generally provide the meats and a few side dishes. We've done smoked meats (DH is an accomplished smoker, and even I can smoke a mean side of salmon on my indoor smoker)... or grilled fajita meats/veggies, burgers/brats/dogs... grilled sausages with Italian foods, etc. We tell people dishes are welcome but not necessary. I've found the neighbors tend to work out among themselves who brings what, or someone might ask if anyone is bringing a green salad... or heck, the most we've ever duplicated was two of something.

    In the evening we'll light up the fire pit and do smores. Adults & kids love that. If it's chilly, I set out a table with a beverage cooler of spiced cider (we do this on halloween too). I usually buy glow necklaces ($6 for 100 at Michaels) or something similar for the kids to play with, or just put a worklight up so their bouncy things is lit up. A volleyball or badminton net will occupy kids for hours.

    HTH

  • 13 years ago

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It really helps so much.

    I'm guessing we are looking at about 20 adults and maybe 9 children ranging from stroller to middle school ages.

    We do have an outhouse so that should help keep people outside.
    ;)

  • 13 years ago

    I know my neighbors for 100 years, so even though I've
    never done so, I wouldn't hestitate to invite them to
    a pot luck thing in our home.
    I invite them
    every summer for a cook-out (I do all the cooking)
    and they usually ask, 'what can I bring' and I often say -- bring a dessert if you like.

    Since you don't know them well, I would feel very
    awkward inviting people to a 'pot luck'...besides
    with a lot of people, I would think it's a lot
    of work and it would be PITA, putting it together
    and serving it, heating things up, etc, etc, etc....

    So, I would extend an invitation that states a 'get together' between two o'clock and five o'clock
    (Between two and five o'clock, already suggests that
    it's between lunch and dinner)with Refreshments, sangria, wine and soft drinks.

    I would have a couple of different kinds of chips and dips, a cheese and cracker platter,
    a vegetable and dip platter, and a fruit platter. I would also
    have a coffee urn going with cookies and cupcakes.

    Put rsvp, so that you know how many to prepare for,
    If anyone asks what they can bring, tell them what you're preparing and let them tell you what 'light snack'
    or dessert that they want to bring.
    I think many will bring a bottle of wine.

    I looked up the meaning of refreshments : A light Snack.

  • 13 years ago

    I like the idea of including everyone. An afternoon party with light snacks would be great. Everyone always wants to bring something, so why not let them?
    If this gathering goes well, you might try an evening dessert party for adukts only.
    I think potlucks are great for people you already have a friendship with. So, that might also be something down the line.
    Block parties are also fun. You get permission ahead of time to block off the two ends of your street. But, someone has to cordinate.

  • 13 years ago

    Thanks ellendi. "block party" doesn't work for our area as the distance between cross streets can be a mile or more...our area is more rural...also makes it hard for neighbors to keep an eye on their children from a single location since most of the houses are not visible from one another. I like the idea of an afternoon thing.

    I've also done things in the past (memorial services for relatives) where I just get prepared sandwiches from the grocery store and some prepared salads and then I can add the ziti, salad and garlic bread and a platter of cookies, with what other people bring, should be covered for food...that's what I'm considering at this point, given all the great input I've received from everyone....