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breezygirl_gw

It's my Birthday, and I'm having trouble staying positive

15 years ago

This is not how I envisioned my birthday today. It started with a call from the HVAC guys who were waiting at my house to install the gas fireplace and do my ductwork. Was I expecting them? No. Is the house ready for HVAC? No. No, because my house has to be completely replumbed and the plumber isn't done yet and the ducts can't be run until he's done under there. And no because I haven't figured out how I want to rezone the heating to even out the temperature in the house.

I have rats at my house.

I owed the cabinet maker a decision on Friday and I didn't make it. I don't like either of my options.

I have to pick my bathroom tile so I know the thickness of the tub deck tile so I can pay to have the tub deck rebuilt as it was built too high initially. I had no vision of what I wanted the master bath colors/style to look like.

I can't find a shower tile pan that can get to my house in the next couple of weeks. I don't like the shower receptor bases I've found as they aren't the right size. I didn't really want acrylic.

I can't decide on the faucets for the master bath. The tub filler decision is difficult given my space and other restrictions.

My littlest one is sick again and kept waking up for most of the night.

I can't get the Habit for Humanity Restore people to come pick up my donations when they say they are coming. The stuff is now getting in the way of work.

And don't get me started on my lighting plan that seems to have a lot of problems based on my post last night. I need to get the electrical permit soon.

We stopped by the house this morning to measure the shower area again. The plumber has holes in the floor to crawl under the house. He cut several holes in the drywall in rooms that weren't going to have any drywall work at all. And he broke the only working toilet in the house when he moved it. I couldn't help but break out in tears. I drove back to the temporary house sobbing.

How did you cope when it seemed like this hellish process would never end?

Comments (55)

  • 15 years ago

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Just remember all of this will pass, and you will be left with a wonderful home!

    We're kicking off week 4 of our remodel and my one complaint is that I too am sick of making decisions. I long for the day when I can go a day without having to decide a color, style, or workaround!

    Anyway, give yourself a break today -- go do something fun for your birthday. The remodel will still be there waiting tomorrow and will survive a day without decisions.

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy- Happy Birthday! First, let me say, you are a wonderful person, you deserve a lovely birthday...and you're probably not going to get it. That being said, do what I have done a few times...and choose to celebrate on a different day. Yes, it's your birthday and that is special, but sometimes you need to reschedule...even birthday celebrations :)

    So, is your DH in town today? Are you having to deal with all this by yourself, again? If so, no wonder this day isn't going well and definitely plan a wonderful evening...maybe for next weekend.

    I agree with ABSOLUTELY everything Plllog says above! All I would add is that the hardest part of being a GC seems to be dealing with all the stuff you don't see. The finishes are a challenge, but they're more fun to plan and choose...who thinks about HVAC and lighting plans? That would be the GC, which means you. Remind yourself, if it were easy, everyone would do it! You're more than capable of pulling this off, you just need to focus and set up a schedule (well revised schedule) to deal with the plumbing delay.

    I like what Plllog said about taking advantage of the delays in materials, to have more time to make decisions. You are so fortunate to be out of the house, during the remodel. Thank goodness, you didn't try to 'live through it' as I see too many people do, on design shows. Take your time, do it right, and don't be pushed around, by subs, finish decisions, or your landlord. As you said earlier, this is a once in a life time remodel, so do it the way you know you need to...and don't let anyone tell you differently.

    Now, go take a nap with your little sweetie, then find a new person to help you with your lighting plan, and go BUY YOURSELF SOME BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY! A dozen roses, always makes me feel better :)

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday!! This calls for a stiff drink, and LOTS of chocolate!!
    I second everything written above, and remember, IT WILL GET BETTER!!

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday, so sorry it's not going as you expected but Plllog has some great advice. Order dinner to be delivered and relax. Hope your little one feels better soon. My favorite saying when things go wrong is "this too shall pass" and it gives me hope. Here's to hoping your day got better.

    Pevo

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy! Happy Birthday! Pllog has great advice and just think about this- think about how wonderful your birthday next year will be when you are in your wonderful home enjoying all of the fruits of your labor. this birthday may not be going as planned, but it will all be worth it. Why don't you prioritize your list based on when you need to make decisions by?

    Call H4H and tell them that they will not be receiving your donation if they don't come ASAP.

    I know that you are the GC, but doesn't the tile guy provide the shower base?

    Cabinet selection- whats wrong? Did you Cross Post? I didn't see anything to help you :(

    Tile was one of the hardest decisions I made- try to think of the color scheme first (grays and whites or taupe and cream, or color?!?)

    HTH. HUGS!

  • 15 years ago

    ((((((((((((((((((((happy birthday)))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday dear!!
    Remember this too shall pass.

    I always really hate it when people do this to me but, do try to keep some perspective. My hometown was hit by a tornado last night (less than a mile from my parents' house) - many of my friends and their families no longer have homes. Or have tens of thousands of dollars in damages, or are missing pets and livestock.

    So, take a break and a deep breath, have dinner with a loved one and have a glass of wine / cold beer and be grateful that you have such problems. :) (except for the rats - that really sucks.)

  • 15 years ago

    1. Happy Birthday, Breezy!

    2. Get well soon, Baby Breezy!

    3. Plllog, you're a gem, and I hope you're available for other consultations!

    Becky

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday Breezy!! All of Plllog's advice was spot on. For the shower base have you checked out showerbase.com? I got mine from them within 2 weeks and you can get custom size or shape. HTH!

  • 15 years ago

    Take today off...it's your birthday. All those decisions will still be here tomorrow and I suspect you're not ready to make them today anyway. Maybe a break from it will help clear your mind and make it easier to "see" what's needed and what you want.

    Happy Birthday!

  • 15 years ago

    Thank you everyone! The sun just poked through the rain here so your wishes and that has cheered me a bit.

    I'd love to put some of these decisions off, but I can't. And so many of them seem to be due today, or yesterday. It's hard to prioritize.

    The plumbing has to be done now. I can't proceed with HVAC and electric until that's done. The faucets MUST be picked because the plumber needs to know which valves to put in during rough in and where they go.

    The bathroom tile has to be picked because it determines the tub height. Again, that has to be done at rough-in because I have a 400 pound, 100 gallon cast iron tub that can't be set in place after the three surrounding walls are drywalled. The tile thickness determines the deck height. Deck was built too high and now has to be rebuilt.

    I have to decide on what kind of shower pan to get. Tiled? Acrylic? Cast iron? Sizes are a problem with the space I have. I suppose this part could wait a week as the plumber could come back after he's done with rough-in.

    I tried that line with Habitat for Humanity. They said I could bring the stuff to them if I couldn't wait another two weeks for them to come pick it up. I don't have a huge truck to haul the stuff down there. I'll put the stuff on Craigs List, but I need the time to manage the picking up of stuff.

    Lighting plan--I went to the only place in town. But I'm not happy with the plan. I'll have to call someplace up north and throw the kids in th car for a long drive.

    Cabinets--I supposedly need to shrink my peninsula more than I thought. I just have to decide how much more. The cab maker, a very nice man, is waiting for me to call him right now. He needs to get started building my cabs tomorrow.

    And I still haven't called the HVAC owner after his guys showed up this morning. I sure he's going to be irritated with me as I've put him off about 5 times already. I just don't want to deal with it.

  • 15 years ago

    Money fixes everything. Hire someone to do it all for you. Give yourself a birthday present.

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy- if you go with Moen, all of the rough ins are the same...that might make that decision easier because then you don't have to pick faucets now :)

  • 15 years ago

    Don't know if the size will work for you but we did a shower with a Kohler cast iron/porcelain pan (Kathryn collection) and it's wonderful. So much better than tile. I believe it's 36" x 48".

    Hope your birthday gets happier!!!!

  • 15 years ago

    Second what cheri said--we have the Kohler cast iron pan in our guest bathroom shower (same size; ours has the rectangular-shaped no-slip grip design--I think they make two virtually identical models, with two different grip designs). I responded on your thread in Bathrooms BTW.

    I'll try to post more later.

    Hope your day gets better!

    Happy Birthday!

  • 15 years ago

    Marietta Old Vine #53 is good if you like reds.

  • 15 years ago

    Sending birthday wishes to you. When you're down, it might sound hokey or not helpful, but try gratitude - think of or write down 5 things you are grateful for.

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Biiirrthdaay dear Breezygirl, Happy Birthday to youuuu!!! And Many mooorrre.
    Best wishes and I hope that this is a great year for you.

    Tile your shower base and then you don't have to worry about buying a pan to fit the specific size.

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy- Moen sounds like a good choice and explain to the HVAC guy that you have rats and have to get rid of them ASAP, but can't do HVAC until plumbing and rats are done.

    Do you have a fax? Can you fax your plan to lighting stores and ask them how they would deal with your island/bench situation? If you find someone with a good idea, it might be worth the drive :)

    I'm disappointed in Habitat...have you tried the Salvation Army? They used to pick up almost anything.

    Bathroom tile...pick something very basic. Was I even close, when I guessed you were going for a spa look, on the other post? It sounds like you'll have a very pretty bathroom, so a simple, neutral tile will look wonderful and allow all the other items to shine. Too many focal points can sometimes be overwhelming...and put the shower pan off until next week, good idea!

    Finally, why do you have to shrink your peninsula? Is it going to impact your storage, too much? If you're making a change anyway, allow yourself plenty of room, between the peninsula and the fireplace...and maybe just one pendant light, over the buffet. Just an idea :)

  • 15 years ago

    Called my cab guy. Issue resolved well.

    Called HVAC guy and put him off again.

    Can I ask for shower help? I'm trying to get my desktop computer rebooted so I can post the layout.

    Thank you all so much! Be back.

  • 15 years ago

    I know it's OT, but could you guys help me with my shower size and pan problem?

    Flckr is having trouble uploading my drawing of the bathroom so you'll just have to imagine.

    My shower area is 71.25" long and can be up to 38" deep front to back. We have been considering half wall along part of the shower too.

    The cast iron shower pans I've seen are only 30" deep. I could put a 4" thick half wall if I did that, but 30" seems kinda narrow when you're showering.

    There is a standard sized Tile-redi pan that's 37" x 72". My plumber says he could make the that one work, but there would be no half wall space. Thanks to Chicken's post above, I know I can get a custom pan in whatever size I want.

    I didn't really want an acrylic or fiberglass pan.

    So I need to decide:

    Half wall or not?
    Cast iron 30" pan or tile pan?

  • 15 years ago

    I hope your day is going better now! Happy Birthday!

  • 15 years ago

    Have been impressed by the curved curtain rods now available for showers--they give more room for shoulders in a tight space. Widely available.

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy -

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Having finished a whole house reno and addition, I totally understand what you're going through. There are so many decisions that you just can't anticipate and it seems like they all happen in clusters.

    As far as the shower pan, what is the alternative to the half wall in the shower, all glass? My shower enclosure is 2 sides all glass and I like it - lets plenty of light into the shower so you can see when you shave your legs! However, I can also see the advantage to the half wall. The custom size sounds like a good idea if you want that half wall.

    For plumbing, have you gone to a local plumbing supply store? The one I used was price competitive with online retailers - all the prices but 1 or 2 were actually less than the online prices. You could go in there, tell them your price range and style and they could help you pick what you want. You could also make all your selections at hte plumbing supply store, shop the prices online and then give them the opportunity to match. If they can't, then order online! Its so hard to search online without having narrowed down your options - there are way too many options.

    Do you have a baby sitter you trust with your sick child? Maybe what you need most for your birthday is having a sitter for a day or two so you can 1)get some of this stuff done, and 2) maybe take a little bit of time for yourself to relax!

    Again, happy birthday and good luck with your decisions!

    Rachel

  • 15 years ago

    Oh, my goodness, Breez- you need chocolate!
    Have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY despite the stress and pressure.
    My advice? Take time out to sit and meditate on your blessings, and thank God for them. That helps me out of bad spots often, and may work for you as well!
    Truly hoping things settle down for you!!
    Hugs!!!

  • 15 years ago

    Sending birthday wishes and positive thoughts your way.

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy- I really like Sarah Richardson's bathrooms. You can download the episodes on HGTV, but the farmhouse remodel is my favorite :)

    Here's a partial picture, from the upstairs bath. I think the half wall is a great idea...and what I plan to do in my shower.

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday!

    Hope you get a moment away from all this today - you deserve it!

    Looks like you're making good decision progress.

    Hope everyone is healthy soon

    RQ

  • 15 years ago

    How did I run out of chocolate last week?!?

    Shower will be glass above the half wall with a glass door. OR full frameless glass enclosure.

    Lavender's picture is similar to what I was thinking, only my shower is longer than that one.

    I have someone at a plumbing store. She couldn't get the tile pan size I wanted until the first of May. That's when I stopped to actually consider pan sizes and what to do.

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday! I was glad to see that by the time I got to your thread some of the problems were starting to get resolved.

    FWIW when we were doing the bathroom I was worried about the shower not being bigger than 30" -- that's all we had room for. It's fine -- even my six foot son says it's fine.

  • 15 years ago

    Hi Breezygirl,
    Sorry things are piling on.
    We have a separate shower with a tiled half wall, glass above, and glass door. The shower floor is tiled in hexagonal tile and slopes gently towards the drain.
    Our tile setter built our pan himself with a curb.
    Using his method, you can build your shower to any specifications. I put a link describing the process in detail below.
    Birthdays have a way of bringing things to a head.
    I hope the rest of yours is happy.

    Here is a link that might be useful: building a shower pan with a mud bed

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday, Breezygirl! It just sucks when everything goes wrong on what is supposed to be your day - I had one of those B-days this year (terrible sinus infection, client emergency, sick kid) and I promised myself a do-over. It sounds like you are starting to work through the decisions. The walk-in shower in our last master bath had a poured bed with a curb like in Sandn's link. It looked really nice when it was tiled over. I hope your little one gets well soon -- having a sick kid makes everything else so hard to deal with. Once your kids go to bed (or DH takes over) wine and a bubble bath are a good way to end the day. (((hugs)))

  • 15 years ago

    Thanks Sayde, Sand and Kay.

    My plumber, who is also an excellent tiler but won't have time to do mine, says there is only one person in town he would trust to build a tile pan from scratch. Unfortunately, that person has an injury and won't be working for a while. So I'm stuck. I don't live in a big city with a lot of choices.

    DH and the kids are taking me out to dinner for my birthday. I'm hoping yellow curry will cheer me up!

    Here's my master bath layout:

  • 15 years ago

    aaawww, Happy Birthday Breezy!

  • 15 years ago

    Happy Birthday, Breezy! I hope the year ahead in your newly renovated home is your best year ever.

  • 15 years ago

    I am going to pour a glass of wine now and toast you a wonderful and happiest of birthdays. A problem shared is a problem halved... Curry makes everything more manageable

  • 15 years ago

    Happy birthday Breezy. After reading your original post, I think you need a (do-over) birthday after you get some of these issues resolved. That's no way to celebrate!

    BTW, love the half wall in the shower.

  • 15 years ago

    A very happy birthday Breezy! I'm so sorry that you are experiencing all of these issues on *your* day. I am hopeless at helping out with any bathroom issues but of course the great minds of GW have all gathered to help you, and I hope their great suggestions have helped.

    Remember what a rock star you are! I am in awe that you are undertaking all of this yourself. A big hats off to you for all you have accomplished so far.

    In a year's time, when you are basking in the reflected glory of all of your hard work, this day will seem very far away. Until then, deep breath, glass of wine, hugs from your loved ones and know that we are all rooting for you!

    I hope your little one is well soon.

    Eliz (who's BD is today too :-)

  • 15 years ago

    I know I didn't reply to each of you today as I normally would have. (I feel the guilt from that, believe me.) You all were very helpful today from the birthday wishes and encouragement to help with the reno problems. I appreciate each of you taking the time for me today. Thank you very, very much.

    We went to dinner tonight, but with baby sick I didn't get to enjoy it much so I'm taking your advice and having my birthday again on Saturday. Family time, a trip to my favorite nursery, and cake! My birthday next year in my newly refinished house will be wonderful.

    I took some time tonight to reflect on my gratitude for all the great things I have in my life. Thank you for that suggestion. I prefer an attitude of gratitude to whining about all the stuff going wrong.

    On the shower issue, I showed DH Lavender's photo of Sarah's shower with the half wall. He likes it and has changed his mind about a tiled floor. I visited showerbase.com and will call them tomorrow about a custom tile pan to fit my room. My goal is to order by Wednesday am.

    I narrowed my roman tub filler choices from 15 down to 4. Feels like progress. My goal is to decide by Wednesday pm.

    Again, my sincerest appreciation.

    Wendy

  • 15 years ago

    I'm glad you were able to work those couple of things out, breezy, and were able to enjoy your birthday a little bit. Saturday will be even better. Happy birthday!

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy- I'm glad your DH liked the picture! I tried to post these last night, but photobucket was down...anyway, Happy Birthday late :)

    A few more Sarah Richardson bathrooms...

    {{!gwi}}

    {{!gwi}}

    {{!gwi}}

  • 15 years ago

    Thanks Lavender. I've seen that firs pic before but didn't realize it was Sarah's. Confirms to me that I like her designs! ;)

  • 15 years ago

    hey BreezyG - Happy Belated Birthday! I think I know little bit of what you are going through - albeit on a smaller scale. I had planned on having my New Kitchen/ 50th Birthday Party on February 21st - and the kitchen still isn't done! Now I am thinking about a June party when the garden is in bloom. Oh well. It's just one year, right? Hang in there.

  • 15 years ago

    A 50th bday party is a big deal! I'm sorry you have to wait. But it'll be a good excuse for a June party. ;). Thanks for the note.

  • 15 years ago

    I'm having a hard time locating the other thread about your shower...

    First off, happy birthday!

    second, here's our shower:

    the river rock floor was BEAUTIFUL before grouting... but as I said, a lot of grout was needed. I still really like it now, but still fondly remember what the sample without grout looked like. oh, and the floor is still a bit wet in the pics from this morning's showers....

  • 15 years ago

    Lawjedi--Thanks for posting your shower! That helps a lot. The rock floor look so cool. And I like your border in the shower. DH doesn't want niches. I asked him where he plans on storing all his hair products. He has more in the shower than I do! I told him he'll learn to live with them.

    Can I ask a couple of question? How far is it from the toilet to your shower wall? And does it feel cramped with the wall close?

    Thanks again!

  • 15 years ago

    hey breezy! happy belated birthday. so sorry i missed it. sounds like you are progressing better, though. be good to yourself. :)

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy -

    the toilet alcove is just a smidge shy of 31 inches wide. The narrowest code would allow in my area. It doesn't feel too cramped - but it's open at the end. If it were at the end of a long "tunnel" it probably would feel cramped.

    The niches. well, I love them. especially the lower one - helps with shaving!!! :-) originally we weren't going to have that tall metal tension shelf in there - products/soap in niches and along the "shelf/ledge" on the half wall. When the glass was installed, wiping it down was such a pain that we put the tension unit in there.

  • 15 years ago

    Thanks Ironcook! Things are better, and we're celebrating my birthday again tomorrow with chocolate cake!

    Lawjedi--Thank you! That helps a lot. I'm about to order the tile pan at 32" deep. That plus the pony wall will give me 36.5" for the shower area, leaving the toilet alcove (b/w the vanity and pony wall) at 36" wide. Yea! That works! I feel like I'm making progress!

    You all have been so helpful!

  • 15 years ago

    Breezy, I'm so glad you're going to have a birthday re-do tomorrow! Enjoy!

    ElizPiz, Happy Belated Birthday!

    Badgergrrl, I saw the news about that tornado the other day. I'm glad your folks are okay. My thoughts and prayers and with all those affected by that terrible disaster.