I would think you can call DCFS on your own to find out information. This is his child too! And he has every right to be concerned about a man who has been physically abusive to his daughter living under the same roof as her.

Have your husband call DCFS himself and get to the bottom of it.

And I think that if sd is telling you she is being abused physically by this man again that you could go get her and get an emergency order of protection against her mom and sd. Her mom is allowing the abuse to happen so sd would need to be protected from her as well as sd!

I would not only call, I would send certified letter to DCFS. I would also notify her teachers to be on the lookout for any abuse.

There is no way that you and DH can sit by and do nothing. I am biting my tongue on this one. Follow the suggestions of the other posts and get moving....now.

"BM is afraid that we are going to try to take SD away from her, but this is not our plan."

IT SHOULD BE.

Your DH should have petitioned the court for custody and asked for an emergency protection order for his child. Who cares if mom thinks he is trying to take the child away from her? He should! She isn't protecting her child and he will look like a neglectful parent if he sits by and does nothing. Let a Judge decide if it's in the child's best interest to be in that situation and you do not need an attorney.

He can also contact DCFS himself and speak to the worker/supervisor, although they probably won't divulge any information on mom. He can share his concerns and if they decide to remove the children, he should get first option to take his child.

The emotional problems that stem from abuse of all sorts is extensive. GET THAT KID OUT OF THERE LIKE TODAY!

I am sorry but if my child was being abused there is no court in this land that could force me to allow my child to stay in that situation. If I were him I would have been on the next flight out there and taken my daughter with me.... legal or not... I couldnt care less.

But on the more legal route... he should absolutely petition for emergency custody and he should be trying to get his daughter the h*** out of there pronto!! Kids are told over and over again at school and every where else when someone does something to hurt you tell a trusted adult. Most kids never do this for various reasons. Your SD did. She has sent out her cry for help.... Dad needs to get off his butt and do something about. And, honestly I could care less if mom is afraid you are going to take her child away. She should be afraid and ashamed. She knows that this man was harming her children .. she even left... but now she let him back into her home.. her children's lives knowing that he is not only capable of hurting them... but has done so before. There are programs out there to help mothers out of sitations like these... "not being able to take care of 4 kids on her own" is not a good enough excuse. Infact, there isnt a good enough excuse to place your children in that kind of harms way. There is NEVER nothing you can do about your child being abused.

I agree with the above advice. Do something now!

I agree with Ima, if the child is being abused the Dad must try to get her out of there. He can start with the nice way -- as in X, I know you have 4 children, and it is a lot of pressure, how about my kids staying with me for a while. Or he can try the tough way -- as in filing a petition with family court.

You pretty much just repeated the story of how DH got emergency custody of my SD. DCFS was not involved, but BM filed two different restraining orders outlining what her BF was doing, yet she kept letting him back in the house. DH asked to take SD for while so BM could sort things out, but she refused. He then turned to the courts. After the first r. order a judge said to "give mom another chance." After the 2nd one the judge said to drive straight to daycare and take her immediately.

"In fact, there isn't a good enough excuse to place your children in that kind of harms way. There is NEVER nothing you can do about your child being abused."

Exactly, mom of 4.

I don't post but read this as my grandson has a stepfather. His BF said he'd pick him up to have an afternoon together 5 years ago, didn't show up and hasn't contacted him since.
My concern is everyone saying to get the daughter out of there. The daughter stated her brother is being abused too. Both need out of the situation.
These are children. BF needs to take care of those children. Obviously the BM isn't going to.
I'm not going to be as nice as the rest of you. Can't do anything is a cop-out. That is acting like a spermdonor and you just send extra money to help. That too is a cop-out. Not your problem as not effecting your household.
When children need help and you do nothing, don't complain if the next time you send money it's for a funeral. Good Lord, he's choking them and throwing them around. When is enough, ENOUGH?
Talk to her sister and you just may get a big shock to learn what those children have been through.
Lynn

"I am sorry but if my child was being abused there is no court in this land that could force me to allow my child to stay in that situation. If I were him I would have been on the next flight out there and taken my daughter with me.... legal or not... I couldnt care less."

Exactly..and that is exactly what my DH did 10 years ago for my SD she was an infant at the time,DH found out about abuse and was on the next plane to go get her.. (we have full legal/physical custody now) .....he was arrested when they landed back in our home state for parental kidnapping (long story but it all worked out)..but if you ask him even to this day he would tell you it was worth a night in jail to be certain his little girl was safe...he would do it again in a heartbeat...because that is what a parent does..you would lay down in front of a bus for your kids.... You have many LEGAL options available to you...you will be neglecting your SD by not taking the proper legal route and getting your SD out of there!

Your husband has enough reason to go to court and file for reversal of custody. If he wants custody of his child, he can get it, but it will cost $$$$.