I don't know what I would have picked for the worst thing if you hadn't noted driving drunk. I did that once as well. I had to go outside in the morning to check my car to see if it was in it's parking spot and in one piece. I didn't even remember getting home. It was the last time I ever drove after having any alcohol whatsoever and I have been very honest with my kids about the experience.

The best thing I ever did was selfishly for me and but it wasn't a nice thing. I cut my MIL out of my life and she only lives 10 minutes away from us. I simply couldn't do it anymore and DH understood. I didn't do it until my kids were old enough to decide what sort of a relationship they wanted with her. I have never told them the crux of the situation.

A few years ago, I was in a parking lot with my son. Spacing was tight, and when he opened his door, it dinged the car next to him. It was a pretty big ding. For various reasons, I was not in a good frame of mind, so I looked around, saw that no one witnessed it, blamed the ding on the stupid tight parking spaces, told my son to get in the car and drove off. That was the worst thing I did.

The best thing I did was, about a mile up the road, when my conscious kicked in. We turned around and drove back to the parking lot and waited until the car's owner came out. I approached them, explained what happened, and offered to pay for the repair.

My son and I had a loooooooong talk about my behavior. He witnessed me in a weak moment of frustration not take responsibility for my (his, but, by default as a parent, my) actions. He was young enough, and I purposely made the whole thing so dramatic and used words like "Lying is so, so wrong!" and "You always own up to what you do! Always! Do you hear me?!" that he just sat there with his wide eyes and nodded his head.

Off the top of my head, and not getting into anything too personal-

Best- Lasik eye surgery. I had worn glasses/contacts since first grade, and it has been completely life changing. I am so glad I chose to have it done!

Worst- Going into debt to pay for my masters degree. My degree did not change my income significantly, but the debt took years to pay back, which had a big effect on my lifestyle.

I won't get too deep here either:

Worst: Falling really hard for a guy who was emotionally unavailable. Wasted so much of my time, energy, and killed my self esteem.

Best: Saw the story yesterday that the world's oldest living cat is 27 years old and the lady only paid $10 adoption fee for her. I only paid $15 for my first kitty, and it was truly one of the best decisions I ever made. He's been gone two years and we still miss him.

Best: attending university in France and falling in love with a Frenchman (handsome, sculptor, wealthy)

Worst ( you know what's coming, don't you?): leaving him

Worst: Meeting a married man and falling head over heals in love.

Best: Following my heart and marrying him. We will celebrate our 32nd anniversary this June.

I'm not really in a state of mind to think of this, but wanted to say here, never let the worst thing you do be your last.

A dear friend of mine took her own life this week. Please don't ever let others actions or non actions in this case, make you think so little of your own life that you end it.

Worst was probably driving home when I was too tired to drive. (I was young and immortal, you know). I did fall asleep momentarily, woke up before anything happened, turned up the radio louder and made it home just fine. I never did that again.

Best was when we were out camping in a remote location with several friends. A friend sitting close to me started choking on a piece of steak and I calmly asked her if she was choking, told her to stand up, turned her around and did a Heimlich on her and dislodged the piece of meat. It took me about 3 tries, but there was no way she would have made it otherwise.

Wow so many interesting best and worsts. I like how a few are the same incidents! And good job, outsideplaying! You have reminded me I must get my CPR recertification ASAP.

Justgot2beme, I am so sorry for your loss. It is such a shame when depression becomes a terminal illness. I hope your friend, yourself and her family may all find peace in your memories of better times.

Worst: unmentionable

Best: building character and a moral compass from those worst experiences.

Justgot2beme, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.

Magdalena, after that guy, next when I met DH I knew early on he was a gem. He still is. So, yes, that guy prepared me for the guy I was really supposed to be with.

Justgot2beme, I am very sorry to hear about your friend.

Yes, after that incident I strongly recommend keeping up with CPR skills. Strange thing, a couple of months after that camping trip, we were at a party and a person standing fairly close to me started choking. Someone else got to her first this time, someone called 911, and again, the Heimlich worked.

The best thing - that's easy. It was asking my father to live with us after my mother died. It was a major change for all of us. We rearranged rooms to give him a private area with a bedroom and bath and then we rearranged our lives for four years. There were some difficult times since we couldn't leave him alone for extended periods so we often had to cancel our plans. But it was the right thing to do and I am so thankful that we were able to do it. It's been 6 years since he died and I still smile whenever I think of him - he was a good man and a gentle soul.

The worst - probably disappointing my father when I told him that I had stopped going to church a long time ago. While he lived with us I did take him every Sunday and he found comfort in his religious beliefs but I know he couldn't understand why I didn't.

Thank you all for your condolences, and I'm so sorry roarah that I posted that in this very interesting thread. It just seemed to fit.

I can't really think of a worst thing. Wait, I can. Lying to my parents about going to bars. I was of legal age and we had a designated driver each time, long before they called them that, but I still lied about where I was.

The best thing I did was marry my dear wonderful and now purring, which some of you might know as snoring, hubby. He's so good to me. We have so much fun together, whether playing or working on a project around the house. Through good times and rough ones, he's my rock. He's always there for me, when we lost our first baby to still birth, my parents, close aunts, uncles and last year a cousin to cancer, another nearing the end of her fight (though she's still fighting) and yet another just starting her fight. And then this week, the loss of a dear dear friend. I'm a very strong woman, but I'd not be so strong without him.

Worst thing and biggest regret... Not hugging my Mom when she needed it most.

Best thing, Traveling every week to be with my terminal Mom.

Just a reminder that you can edit your responses within a week's time. i clicked on the topic because I thought it was about decorating hits and misses and others will probably do the same I've only read the first few responses but wanted to remind everyone that this forum is not as anonymous as the old one---not because it wasn't accessible, gardenweb just wasn't a household name, iykwim.

My edit time has already passed but my worst is passed the statute of limitations none the less...To be honest I sometimes feel guilty I did not get caught and have it on a permanent record of sorts so I am ok with my discretion being public, but yes, others please use your judgement and only disclose that which you are comfortable sharing.

Rorah, I understand your feelings completely. Sometimes when we aren't punished for actions we know warranted it, we punish ourselves with guilt and other feelings. You can give yourself a statue of limitations as well. <3

Good reminder, Kswl2.

Kind of funny that I can come up with a long list of Worsts and not many Bests. Bet I'm not the only one. The ones I would be willing to share aren't so interesting. Bests would include sticking by my kids through think and thin, and finishing my college degree. Worsts? When I was a kid I took a plastic ruler from a store. I still feel guilty.

Dedtired if that is your worst, I hate to say this but it does not even "measure up" to mine... : )

The best thing I ever did was to teach my kids to be kind and inclusive to children with special needs. My talks must have worked for all three of them, because teachers were always praising them in parent/teacher interviews for being so kind and always playing with children that the other kids tried to avoid. One boy struggled with a very difficult degree of Asperger's Syndrome and his mother actually cried at my doorstep after he came in, for my son's birthday party. She said it was the only party every year that he ever got an invitation to attend.

The worst thing I ever did also revolved around school, but during my own childhood. I started school in the late 50's, when the chant "Eenie meenie minie moe" did NOT use "catch a tiger by the toe." I did not even know what the 'N' word was, nor did my friends, I'm sure. It was simply the ritual we heard all the other kids in the schoolyard chant, before we began our games. I was horrified when I realized I had been ignorantly chanting such a despicable word for a few years, before learning what it meant! It made me wonder if the teachers had ever overheard us, and if so, why they had never interrupted and set us straight. If they had heard us, I guess it was just a sign of the times, when such things were acceptable and 'racism' was probably not even a word. Just yesterday I started a thread on The Kitchen Table, asking if anyone else had any memory of being unintentionally racist as a child, but so far, no one has responded.

Pickyshopper how wonderful you are for rising above taught bigotry! Many others unfortunately never did. I am not surprised that your children have followed in your compassionate footsteps.

So true about privacy. I decided it best to delete mine before it was too late. Far too much personal stuff for me.

Picky, I wonder if the words of the chant depended on where we lived. I grew up in the 50s (born in the early 50s) and we DID say, "catch a tiger..."

I grew up in Pennsylvania.

roarah, thanks for your kind words, but I'm sure many, many of us who were also born during the time when racism was acceptable, (before the word 'racism' existed) also felt really badly about having used the 'N' word in our little childhood games, once we learned what the word meant. Hopefully we all learn by these experiences and just use them to better ourselves.

The word racism first was used in 1902. I do not think any of us were born before that (or even a couple decades after). Just an fyi. I knew very well as a child that it was not okay. Racism was practiced certainly and still is, but I would hesitate to say it was acceptable (except to racists). My mouth would have been washed out with soap had I ever said that word. Actually, I don't think I ever heard it said by anyone I knew when I was a child. Heck, my mouth would have been washed out had I said shut up.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

If one's parents did not correct it a child would not know better. CYn you were lucky to not have grown up with ignorance, sadly, others are not as fortunate. I have so much respect for those who grow above their lot and I think a young child whose parents did not correct the use of a horrible word who regrets her unknowingly hurtful actions as soon as she learned its significance has a lot to feel proud about. I believe pickyshopper did not mean to imply racism was ever acceptable I think she most likely meant it was unfortunately the norm in her era and local.

Good thread idea. My worsts feel "worse" than anything listed here, but as others have said, they were part of a learning process and none of them are anything I would ever dream of doing today, and I'm not troubled by guilt about them, maybe because they weren't interpersonal.

One thing I do feel guilt for is breaking up with a friend by just no longer answering her calls. I don't regret ending the friendship, because I couldn't accept some of her choices and wasn't willing or able to overlook them. But I do regret doing it in that way. It was cowardly and I still feel bad about it after 20 years.

The best thing I've done is to be a foster home for hard-to-adopt shelter animals and have my children help me do it. Very elderly dogs, blind dogs, deaf dogs, kittens with ringworm, orphan kittens and pups who had to be hand fed every few hours, even some baby robins and starlings (far messier than a litter of pups!). We saved so many lives, but another wonderful benefit was having my children learn the limitlessness of what's possible when it comes to people offering love--it may take a bit of effort to find a home for a blind dog or terminally ill senior cat, but it can be done and then your faith in humanity is boosted tremendously.

Roarah, I got that and agree. However, she twice referred to racism as having been acceptable which is why I said what I did. That is different from your interpretation that she meant "the norm." Just think we need to be careful to be accurate in the words we use. It is the teacher in me. I won't stray any more from the topic-it is just that I do have very strong feelings on that subject.

cyn, thank you sincerely for your posts, as without them, I would not have known that others may have interpreted my post, as you did, and I need to correct that immediately! Firstly, thanks for informing us that the word 'racism' was actually coined in 1902, much earlier than I thought. Since many people obviously behaved in ways in the late 50's/early 60's that were definitely racist, I actually don't recall ever hearing the word 'racism' when I was little, so I guess I thought the words came into usage much later.

But more importantly, roarah is precisely correct in understanding that I meant racism was APPARENTLY 'acceptable' meaning it was WRONGLY TOLERATED. Yikes, I hope everyone will now understand (with my apology to those who didn't) that I was not accurate and precise enough with my wording to make that perfectly clear! Also, I guess I need to clarify that I had never heard the 'N' word before, so I did not have a clue what it meant. It was NEVER said in my house by my parents, or said on our street (that's why I mentioned "I did not even know what the 'N' word was, nor did my friends, I'm sure.") I had never heard it until starting school, where it was used in "Eenie, meenie..." before a game was begun, to see who was the starter of the game or "It." So I was meaning that I regretted participating in the schoolyard chant with no knowledge of the word, having never heard it at home or among my little friends on our street. Thanks again cyn, for giving me the opportunity to fully clarify my poor wording.

I was pretty sure that was what you meant, picky, and I wasn't trying to jump on you at all. Words are just so powerful and working with emotionally disturbed kiddoes has me constantly reminding them of watching what they say and how they say things. See, if we hadn't been doing this online, your intonation would have said it all, no clarification needed. And actually none was. I was just being picky, I guess. ;)

Since the topic of racism has come up maybe someone can answer a question for me. Why is the "N" word used by black people?

I have never heard the N word used by anyone I know and I have a mixed race family. But if I call my sister the B word it can be forgiven but not if someone outside the family does.

Ellendi, I am not a black person and will defer, of course, if any choose to answer the question. But, as I understand it, African Americans have been called the "n' word historically for all the racist reasons we all (I assume) understand. The word only holds power when it is used by oppressors (white people) to disparage the victims of racism. Claiming the word as their own, taking the power away from whites to exclusive use of the word as a means to demean, allows the victims of racism to redefine and use the word as they see fit. To take the wind out of the racists' sails, to neutralize the negative power of the word. It's only a disparaging term when white people use it against African Americans.

cyn, I had indeed meant to convey that racism during the 50's/early 60's had been 'acceptable' in a bad way, because society was not taking enough measures to effectively make it unacceptable. I realized that 'tolerated' might have been a better word to convey that, so I appreciated knowing how my wording could be misinterpreted, so I could clarify!

been thinking about this thread.

I guess the worst thing is some dishonesty, especially with my family, when I was younger; I believe and hope that I have come to terms with this and grown out of it.

As for the best, I wonder if the "best thing you've ever done" is really the best if it benefits only oneself. I can identify some of the best things I've done for me in my life, but I think the "best" thing really should be a service to others. I'm ashamed to say I couldn't think of too many of those "bests" -- will have to work on that. One good thing was surprising my 10 and 15 y.o. DD's one morning with "go put your shoes on -- we're going to Disney World right now."

Violetwest, I think you raise a good point that we can have both the best things we've done for ourselves (e.g. marrying my DH or majoring in economics was the best decision ever) and the best thing we've done, period, which maybe implies a positive result for others, as well.

I think both interpretations are valid and it's good for us to think about whether our answers are what we'd like them to be. I felt funny saying animal rescue was the best thing I've done because I do feel like I have benefited from it so much myself, it can't be considered entirely altruistic. On the other hand, I'll give myself a little credit because litterboxes of kittens with coccidia are really unpleasant, lol.

And then the best thing I did was something mean - being mean to someone to save myself. Now that is being selfish, but it was cheaper and easier than therapy or divorce.

I think it is as important to do what is best for ourselves as it is to do for othes. Remember that song, whose the most important person in the whole wide world? It's you, and you hardly even know it....