New car causing problems

11 years ago

My wife and I have been married for a year now and we just got a new $25,000 car. Both of our names are on the title but I am the only one who makes the large payments. I have my own insurance on the car and she is not on my insurance due to her past driving record. This is our only car. My problem is this, her 18 year old daughter will be coming to visit next month for an entire month and my wife wants to teach her how to drive in this brand new car. We are arguing about this. I told her no, that she's not going to be using the new car to learn how to drive because if it gets damaged or or she causes an accident, *I'M* the one who's going to have to pay for the damages and pay for my insurance to get put at a higher rate. My wife doesn't see this as a problem and pretty much agreed with me that I would have to pay for the damages since she doesn't make much money. How can I get her to see my point and agree that it is not a good idea? Does anybody agree with her side?

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blueheron

10 years ago

If your wife isn't on the insurance, how can she use the car to teach her daughter to drive? I agree with you not wanting the daughter to learn to drive in your new car.

Suggestion: Let the daughter take driving lessons. The driving schools use their car and she will be learning from an expert driver and teacher. (If she gets child support for her daughter, let the girl's father pay for the lessons.)

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Comments (7)

sylviatexas1
11 years ago
It sounds to me like the problem isn't the car; it's the ownership & entitlement &...dare I say...power issues involved.

Marriage, at its best, is a partnership in which the people support each other & advocate for each other.

You two have a new marriage & a new car & a new conflict, & the way you're approaching it could be very destructive ("I told her no").

It sounds like your wife understands that she shouldn't drive the car until her driving record clears, but here she is, with

1) an 18-year-old who needs to learn to drive, &

2) no way to get around without depending on you.

For crying out loud, find her a cash car for the time being, or trade that $25,000 thing in on something with lower payments so the household budget can pay another car payment.

ps: Count your blessings & consider yourself lucky that your brandnew wife, who should be getting the best & most generous behavior from you, is so patient & sweet. If I among many others were your wife, I'd get my name off that title pronto, get myself a car I could afford, & tell you to...go fly a kite.
tfitz1006
11 years ago
You could teach her how to drive. Then you have some control.
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Original Author
10 years ago
This has nothing to do with "power" and "control". What it does come down to is me being expected to pay for damages that could occur and me being expected to pay for a higher rate of insurance should an accident happen with her daughter driving the new vehicle. I don't think it's a good idea. I even told my wife that I would buy a secondhand car for a couple thousand dollars so her daughter could learn in that instead. For some reason, she is adamant about using the new car for the driving lessons. As for the snippy comment, I AM very generous and very good to my wife. She gets just about everything she asks for, she doesn't have to pay rent, I do most of the cleaning AND I'm the only one who cooks and bakes. I surprise her with little things all the time, I make sure that I tell her that I love her every day and I make sure I tell her that she is beautiful. I just don't find it "equal" or "fair", since this is "OUR" car, why *I* am the one being expected to pay for damages and be the one whose insurance gets hit. Basically, to reiterate, the conversation came out to be her saying "I want to teach my daughter how to drive in the brand new car that YOU are paying for and if MY daughter gets into an accident, YOU need to pay for it and YOU need to pay for the higher insurance." Tell me how that is right.
tfitz1006
10 years ago
"she doesn't have to pay rent". WTF, you're married, right? Did you ever talk about finances before the wedding?
sylviatexas1
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
finances, heck;

did you talk about what marriage is?

(just so you'll know in case there's ever a pop quiz: "It's about one partner having total power & the other partner being grateful for whatever favors, boons, & benefits her partner elects to grant her" is not the answer.)

She doesn't pay rent?

You're "generous" to her?

She gets "just about" everything she "asks for"?

Why on earth did you post at all?
tfitz1006
10 years ago
In my area hardly anyone teaches their kid to drive. To get the better insurance rate you have to go to driving school.