My brothers, sisters and I have a private Facebook site so that we can discuss some family matters, such as our parents rapidly declining health between ourselves first. On a brighter note, we also exchange funny childhood memories.

I used to be part of a private group website (not on FB) that was a spin-off to a big, public forum. It was very small and allowed us to be more open about what we shared, in our personal lives and with various decorating ideas and challenges.

I do belong to a secret Facebook. It's restricted to members of the law enforcement agency from which I retired.

Edited to add: The page actually says "Secret".

I used to. It was set up for a group of around 10 like-minded friends after we lost hosting on the sight where we used to have a forum. These folks were a small spin-off from a large vegetarian forum that I used to be a part of, who all connected and went on to meet in person many times over the years. Deep, lasting friendships were formed. Unfortunately, when I deleted my Facebook account, I lost access to their daily lives. I do miss that, but don't miss much else about social media.

A family group is a great idea...but we are not all on Facebook. I belong to a few: community-based for buying and selling, and for services recommendations (sort of a micro-Angie's list, and especially supportive of local business, including home-based businesses); and school ones for classes and activities (especially great for students, as no one outside can see any content or membership so it's very private, but well-moderated).

I especially like the community "market", you know who you are buying from, feel much safer, and you know you're not driving more than 6 miles to pick something up.

I belong to a couple of them on FB. One is for family only, like Lynn mentioned, to discuss private matters, one for the hair business and one for whole30.

No secret, only closed.

I belong to a couple of closed groups on facebook. Two associated with kids' school, one family. No secret groups. I hadn't ever heard of secret groups.

I'm curious why the family groups don't just use email instead of Facebook? Maybe email is just as bad, but doesn't Facebook constantly collect data on the users? What do they do with the data? Would putting private info there be more, or maybe less, vulnerable to data collection than email?

I'm asking sincerely, to understand. What is the advantage of a Facebook private group over email?

I have multiple part email conversations with my sisters daily. Not everyone is on Facebook so that isn't an option at this time. But if there was a compelling advantage maybe everyone would create an account. Enlighten me.

I belong to one. It's a spin off from a parenting debate message board (village originally). Eventually, a new message board was created where a lot of members migrated when debates started getting too heavily monitored and deleted for stupid reasons. I don't recall why, but we moved over to FB at some point, and it was made secret b/c we had a serious stalker from the old ivillage board. She was downright crazy. She managed to track down people IRL b/c she was friends with one of the debaters on FB, who was also friends on FB with many of the other debaters. She was able to figure out who some of the people were by looking at the friend in common's friends list on FB. She then would friend their friends, some of whom stupidly accepted her friend requests w/o even knowing her. I never had any issues with her b/c I stayed away from debating her too much, but she had a beef w/several people and made it her business to find anything she could on them. Anyway, the group has created lasting friendships, many of met IRL, but we made the group secret so the stalker wouldn't somehow find it.

I belong to 2 secret FB groups, one is the group that LynnNM mentioned above and both are secret because we don't want to show up in a search.

No secret ones, but one closed family group. We find it useful for posting things and pictures of what's happening, and everyone can see the comments. Easier and more visible than trying to do it with e-mail. It's more like having a conversation that everyone can follow easily. We also used it to arrange a family reunion. Since it's only closed and not secret, we had someone with the same last (uncommon) name find it, and it turned out he was the grandson of our grandfather's brother, who nobody even knew was in this country (they immigrated here early in the 1900's). So we now have another little branch of the tree, and they are nice, fun people too.

My book club organizes events through Facebook, and we are a secret group. When our book club started there were over 25 members and it was just too many people. 5 or 10 people would consistently RSVP to the events and then not show up, which made planning for club meetings quite difficult. Now we are down to about 8, very tight knit, and just want to avoid questions from friends and former members about club meetings and events. Therefore the group is secret so events and other things don't show up on our time lines. I wouldn't mind adding one or two more people, but I also really like our book club the way it is. The other members mostly oppose adding new members.

HH, I think one advantage of FB vs. email would be that you could almost carry on a conversation moreso than email. Multiple persons could be present at once, more so like a conversation instead of back and forth as in email. FB also has a chat feature.

I belong to two closed groups on Facebook. What's with the secret? If it's closed, no one else can see it, so why call it secret?

1. Family group. Group emails can get out of control with whether to just Reply or Reply All. It's helpful to plan an event since it's all in one thread and chronological. For family members without FB, someone offers to keep them up to date.

2. Eons ago I belonged to closed Survivor spoiler board. Ugh. Anyway, it morphed and people kinda wanted to keep in touch. Now it's on FB. We talk about things that might not be comfortable around family and friends, and I'm sure you know that can happen. Advice re horrible in-laws, money concerns, fertility issues. Like here, pretty much no one has ever met IRL, but we feel we "know" these people and can bounce some things off one another.

We have real time conversations so I guess just don't see the advantage to doing it via Facebook. And since two of us aren't interested in Facebook and what we do works, I guess we'll stay the course. To each their own.

We have a private family message where we chat live off and on. I also belong to a larger private of of all my cousins, over 60 first cousins on my maternal side. We plan trips, tell stories, share photos, it's wonderful

Yep, a closed, by invitation only group. We're all current or former independent gift/decor shop owners not of the Hallmark ilk. We share ideas, marketing, sources, etc. Most of us met on a now defunct retailer's forum. I was also a founding member of another, now defunct retailer forum.

Linelle..

Secret versus closed is that closed comes up in a search, while secret does not.

I was under the impression that posts to a closed group could be seen by others-- not sure if that is true or not. Posts to private groups cannot be seen by anyone who isn't a part of the group.

I belong to a few closed groups-- a local yard sale/swap group, a local historical group, a community group and an alumnae group.

I belong to a few private groups - a book challenge group, a "secret santa" kind of group that is specifically for entering freshman to my alma mater and a fund raising group.

Conversations are great-- but when you have multiple members on different schedules and in different parts of the country, they're helpful. I have dropped out of a few groups though just because it was too much .. too much info.. too much drama.. too much time to keep up.

I use FB way more than I would like to admit, and I never knew there was such a thing as a secret group. Closed yes, but secret is new to me. Live and learn. And should I be insulted that no one ever thought to ask me to join a secret group?

Not on facebook and had no idea there were "secret" FB groups. I think they must be primarily used by older people thoug, as the younger crowd (13-35? ) dont seem to have any concept of privacy, much less secrecy.

In our secret family group, we have young people as members. Cousins and grandchildren who are intelligent and often very funny. It's a great way to share stories that some in the younger generation had not heard.

Although the young ones (high school and college age nieces and nephews) are part of the family group, they are not necessarily my "friends" on Facebook. I think I would become a basket case of worry if I was to see their daily activities.

ML

I am in a few secret groups. but not a family one, and I love the thought of it, but I wonder at what age you let the younger ones get on facebook.

You can set whether something comes up in Search or not. Private can be unseen by others who are not members. Who would want a private group to taunt nonmembers? I just think "secret" is the wrong term to use.

A private group allows others to see it and request membership, but doesn't show up in the news feed so friends of the person that is a member can see what they are posting.

The private groups that I am in do not come up on a search.

I actually contemplated creating such a group because I am a total garden weenie and always post garden minutia that may be too much even for my "Close Friends" list that I post to. So I jokingly suggested one day that I needed a "Secret Garden Weenies" group, and many of my Friends actually said, "Yes, I want to join!" So how would I go about creating such a group, in other words, how could I create a group that was secret and all those in the group knew it was secret but no one else knew it existed? And how could I add new members? My Facebook page is not very private, it is an iteration of my public persona, and I often invite people I network with personally or professionally to "friend" me. I post certain things only to a "Close Friends" list I made, but that is not the same as a "secret" group.

From Facebook|

How do I create a group?

To create a group:

1. From your home page, go to the Groups section on the left side menu and click Create Group.
2. Click + Create New Group at the top of the page. A window will appear, where you'll be able to add a group name, add members and select the privacy settings for your group.
3. Click Create when you're done.

Once the group is created, you'll be taken to the group. To get started, click at the top right of the group and select Edit Group Settings. From here you can add a group description, tags, set a group email address and add a group picture.

So if I just make it "private" then only the members can see the posts. But then, how do I add someone who is not on my "Friends" list. Like if I meet another garden weenie someday . . .

I am a member of closed groups and one secret group. Closed groups show up on searches, but you can request membership and have to be approved as a member. Nonmembers cannot view the site's postings, of course. Secret groups, as described above, are completely hidden unless you are invited to the group. My secret group is..... a secret. ;) It's essentially a support group for people who would not want to be identified for what they have in common.

pinkmountain they don't have to be on your friends list. You just need to know the name they use on FB to add them.

lolauren - that's...... intriguing! So in THAT case, how would one be invited if no one knows that you have this thing in common?

Hehe. I am not trying to be intriguing, although I realize I would be intrigued. :p (Just trying to stay anonymous on these boards since they aren't "closed.") In my case, close friends/people do know of the commonality. I was invited by another person who knew my connection, and I then invited about four people myself that I knew of.

The people who don't know (the public) are the ones for whom our identity is hidden. This isn't a disease support group, although I can see that existing secretly, too. This is more along the lines of.... ummm.... say you were a diamond collector or treasure hunter and wanted to connect with others in that circle. There is value in not letting masses of people see you belong to the group because you could be targeted by crime.

It's not "secret" as in clandestine, it's because you don't necessarily want to share what you are talking about with the whole world. They may not be interested. Or it just may be impolite on a general, public board, to obsess about one topic. If my non-garden friends find out what a true garden weenie I am, they will probably "unfriend" me, lol! Or you may want to get goofy and silly and sarcastic or emotional and that won't bode well for you if someone from work finds out that you obsess over your Star Wars collectables when you are not at work, or you're struggling with depression, etc. Having said that, if it's on the "Internet" then it is on someone else's computer, and your privacy is dependent on their ability to keep your information safe. There are no guarantees.

Oh, I get that pinkmountain - I belong to 2 secret groups and there's nothing at all mysterious or weird but the privacy gives us permission to let our hair down. However you're so right - the privacy is at best, an illusion if someone in the group wants to be nasty.

lolauren that's a great explanation about the treasure hunters - made perfect sense.

This thread inspired me to make a (non-secret) family group! Thanks for the suggestion!

Though I'm taking a break from fb now, I am a member of the same secret group as Lynn and dlm are. I also manager abother secret group, but we have recently moved back to our previous forum as we didn't care for how the fb groups worked.