My grandmother is in an assisted living facility. They do have volunteers at times, and yes, you would need to go to the administrative office. Everywhere I have volunteered, they do take certain info, etc. They have to be careful of who they allow to volunteer. I think you were wise not to just go onto their property.

We have a nursing home near us, I pop in now and then and visit people with no family. You have to speak to an authority first.

"Yes, but they're all so old!" LOL! That is precious! My Grannie used to regale me with tales of how "all these old women are after that ONE old man" when she lived in the Glen Rose facility. I swear, it was like a bunch of 90-somethings reverted back to being in 6th grade again. ;-)

I suppose the answer is that I won't know what I can do unless and until I ask someone there. My background in the legal profession is reminding me that it would be very bad if someone got sick after eating my home-baked cookies, or if I was in an accident while driving one of the residents to Walmart ... Ugh. The world has changed so much, but I don't want to continue to let it make me fearful of trying to do something to brighten someone else's day.

From the moment we started talking about buying this house, it felt as though we might be in this location with the facility right across the street for a reason. I can't quite explain it. Of course, I joke with my loved ones that the REASON is probably that I'm going to end up there. Well ... stranger things have happened, I'm sure.

Yayagal - that's so lovely! Can you tell me how you go about deciding whom to visit with, and how you got started doing this? Is it ever ... awkward? (There's the shy 8-year old in me coming out again.)

I'm hoping to volunteer with my newly-adopted dog, Sophie. She's very sweet and had a great disposition.

Once we get our Canine Good Citizen, I'll try to focus her training on this goal.

I think you can read, play music, sing, start a crochet/knitting circle.

What are your strengths?

You won't be seen as weird! Just be sure you are committed to whatever level of volunteering you are offering. It is a job afterall.

Absolutely go over there and talk to the administration staff. I think if you sign on as a volunteer, and they get to know you, you might be able to just "stop by" if you happen to see someone you "know" outside to chat for a bit.

Usually, places like this need to know who is coming and going. Since you don't t want to volunteer regular hours but want to help in some way,I am sure there will be many things that will fit into your schedule. Special events, especially during the holidays?

MizGG - I love the idea of helping to decorate rooms! Wouldn't THAT be fun! (Until I encountered some crab who didn't like a thing I suggested. Oh, wait - we get on-the-job training for that HERE, right?) ;-D

I think it is time to stop by and ask. Personally, I would not want to take anyone to Walmart, but I would be happy to pick up something for them from the store.

My friend teaches a computer class (volunteer) for a local facility and does some art/photography too. They might have a game night and the residents might enjoy meeting the neighbors

I understand the shyness part, but when we were there, everyone was so friendly and welcoming! I loved meeting the people we did. Since many of the residents don't have much outside contact, they're very excited to meet people coming in. They'd adore you!

Just meet with the administration and tell them what you said here: you just moved nearby and have a desire to volunteer.

(I keep thinking of the Seinfeld episode ... Jerry, Elaine, and George became volunteers for the elderly. It was hilarious.) :D

Thank you all so much for the encouraging words! I've just been on the facility's website reading their October newsletter and viewing their calendar. My goodness, they offer a lot of activities! I love that they also have regular interaction with the preschool just down the block. I can just imagine how much most of the oldsters enjoy being around the youngsters!

I think I may look for an email address and send a note to someone on staff, asking how I might be able to help on a limited basis. Being right across the street -- well, I think that might count for something.

Yes, it would be "odd" -- because most people are not as caring and compassionate as you! Do it!

I have a 25-year-old niece who is severely developmentally disabled. She worked a short time for local business through a supervising agency for developmentally disabled adults. When the economy went south, the business layed off all of the employees working through the agency.

Routine and continuity are very important for my niece, as is having a job for outside contact and a feeling of being like everyone else, and my sister decided she would have less of a chance of being layed off again if my niece was doing something on a volunteer basis (still working through the agency because my niece needs that close supervision), so she worked out an arrangement with the management of the "over-55/assisted living" facility where our mother lives.

My niece has a handful of "clients" for whom she takes out their trash. She also dusts handrails in the common areas and other stuff like that. Most often when my sister arrives to pick my niece up from work, my niece is surrounded by some of the elderly residents who like to sing songs to her and just seem to enjoy having her around, even though my niece is completely non-verbal. It seems like almost everyone at this facility know my niece and say hello to her by name.

I guess my (very long) point is that I believe a lot of assisted living facilities will likely work with you to fit what you're comfortable doing and that it is a boon to the residents.

Pugga, my heart is warmed by the story of your niece. How wonderful for her to have found a place at the facility, and it certainly sounds like an excellent arrangement for everyone involved. It must be particularly heartening for your family to know that she is loved and treated with great kindness by the residents.

I remember how, when we would go to visit my grandparents in their facility, there were double glass doors leading into a good-sized foyer that we had to walk through before the hallway that led to the rooms. Every single time we went there, we were met by a row of wheelchairs on each side. Elders with their eyes trained on those doors just to observe who was coming in next. Of course, we always smiled and greeted them, but it just about broke my heart to think that for most of those folks, sitting out there and just watching the comings and goings may have been the high point of their day.

I think home-baked cookies is a wonderful idea and would be much appreciated. My mother was in a nursing home and my DH and I visited every day for lunch and on weekends. Sometimes DH baked his special chocolate-butterscotch cookies to take and share with everyone in the dining room and they were such a hit. I think meal time might be a good time to give it a try as there is usually staff on hand to help with feeding and clean up. We got to know so many of the faces there and it was heart breaking that some of our favorites never had one visit. Sometimes we took someone else along with my mom for a walk in the park across the street or even just to the outdoor courtyard. They were so happy to get outside and feel the fresh air. Once the staff became familiar with us they had no problem with us taking someone for a walk either.

One idea that came to mind to "get your feet wet" might be to gather books and magazines- start a donation collection- and bring them to the residents to peruse something different.

Baking sweets is a little dicey due to health concerns, but I'm sure the staff can let you know who shouldn't be eating them.

I wonder if there is a social worker at the facility who might be able to steer you to someone who doesn't get any visitors. Then you could be a visitor for that person. Just pop in and bring a magazine or read a chapter in a book or look at family photos together?

Since they seem to have a lot of organized activities, maybe you could ask about being a drop in additon to some of those--like if they play cards at a set time, you could come and join when you can?

I completely understand being a little shy about asking, but I think there is nothing odd about what you want to do and I think if you find the right staff person to talk to, they would be welcoming. It seems likely to me that if you introduce yourself to the staff first and follow whatever their rules are about signing in and such, it should work out.

Well ... deep breath ... I did it. I found a name and email address online, and I sent her a note. I just sort of laid it all out there and told her I welcomed her thoughts, so we shall see. Thank you for encouraging me to take this step. I appreciate it greatly, and I kind of want to cry right now, because I can't stop thinking of my grandparents.

Good for you auntjen!

Since you are a neighbor I think it would be great to go over in person and say hi -- after all you will be seeing residents and staff around anyway.

This is a bit different, but many years ago, a friend of mine was a high school volunteer at a retirement home (community service hours). She only had very limited contact with the residents for the initial 20 or so hours she put in -- I guess they were making sure she was "ok" -- but after she had been helping out there a few weeks she was able to do a lot more and she loved it. Even after she got all her hours she would continue to go back and visit the good friends she had made.

Absolutely! I have a friend who brings her Puli dog to visit with the residents of her town's assisted living place. I bring Christmas cookies to them.

And keep in mind, you're not only doing a kind thing for the residents but also for the orderlies and caretakers. the less pressure on them (who are paid so poorly for very hard work), the better the residents will be treated by them too!

A kind gesture is never wrong!

They will probably be thrilled to have you volunteer. Many of these places are severely understaffed.

Most places have a reception desk. I would just show up and ask them, "who should I contact (phone #, email) about volunteering?"

Playing cards is very popular. Just someone to talk to helps maintain cognitive functioning.

I would probably not bring homemade cookies until they get to know you. They may have policies against accepting food from strangers for fear of poisoning.

This is wonderful of you to do. Both my parents were in assisted living until they died. My mother was in the locked Alzheimer's part, while my father's room was on the other side. If I may make a suggestion: try to volunteer on the Alzheimer's unit, if they have one. Those workers are so incredibly loving and patient and understaffed and overworked. And, unfortunately, many residents receive no visitors at all. I was very judgmental of their families until the last year and a half of my mother's life when it became so incredibly painful to visit. My mother hadn't recognized me for a while, and would often curse me, and throw food at me. Then, she became completely nonverbal. I know part of the pain of visiting came from my own fear of a similar future, and I did not visit as often as I felt I should. Cookies were baked constantly at the facility, and the residents had constant access to fresh-baked cookies and ice cream.

Good for you!

Good for you! I am a Long Term Care Ombudsman (I visit nursing home residents and help advocate for them), and one of the parts that I enjoy most is just visiting with the residents.

I knock on doors, and almost everyone welcomes me in and many could talk for hours if I had the time. So even when there are not any "issues" that I need to address, I still feel as though my time has been well spent.

Some people are so lonely. I think it would be a good idea to ask for suggestions for someone who doesn't get many visitors. I feel so bad for the people who have no local family or friends. And some people are too shy to join in activities or to try to make friends, but are happy to have a visitor.

I'm a bit behind on reading this, but I'm so glad you will be helping out. Even if you just go over and comb someone's hair, paint someone's nails, read to a small group or sit a chat with someone who is lonely, you will have a positive impact. So happy you have made a decision to do this!

I just came back from visiting with my Dad at his apartment in an elderly housing facility and saw this post. Jen, you won't have to bake, decorate or entertain those folks to make a difference. Just a few minutes of taking time to chat with them will make someone's day.

My Dad's place has 12 apt. units. Some tenants have family nearby and others get few or no visitors. I've met some of the nicest people there who would like nothing more than to have a visit to look forward to. It doesn't even have to be long. And often they're more comfortable in their own space.

I was my Mom's primary caregiver through 3 yrs. of her advanced Alzheimer's dementia. When she passed 2 yrs. ago my Dad still wanted to live as independently as possible but their home was difficult to maintain, had stairs that were hard for him to navigate but mostly it contained too much of their shared life for him to be able to live there without her. We were lucky to find a nice place for him just a few minutes from my home.

Many of his new neighbors have similar stories. They are lovely people but are often lonely. A short visit from someone like you makes them feel like they're still a part of the world.

I hope this works out.

Thank you all so very much. You've been a terrific encouragement, and I've so enjoyed reading about your personal experiences (or that of family/friends). I'm sure the very thought of assisted living is bittersweet for many. So many good suggestions expressed here, and now I'm eager to hear back from the woman I emailed about possible opportunities.

I appreciate the kind "good for you" comments. I really do. But I don't want it to seem that I posted hoping to garner those, nice as they are. I have been making an attempt to grow stronger in my faith over the past year or so, and am trying to be increasingly aware of that still, small voice within that, in my belief, is the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It's been whispering to me about the facility since before we moved in. I'm starting to feel as though it's something I can no longer completely ignore.

I used to sing in a choir where our monthly gig was singing in retirement homes. And before that, I was in a student belly dance troupe that did occasional performances in retirement and nursing homes. In those cases, we arranged the performances ahead of time with the recreation/activities director at the facility, usually at least a month in advance. It showed up on their activity calendar, and when the time came, the staff would assist the residents down to the performance area. We'd do a meet & greet after.

So yes, in my experience, retirement homes welcome people coming in. I haven't done anything on an ad hoc, drop-in basis, but I don't think anything would think it weird or inappropriate to call or drop by and ask what their policy is and what type of volunteer help they might need.

At my mom's retirement home, they have regular bridge games, board game night, crafts, etc. And community gardens.

There is a difference between assisted living facility and a nursing home. I'm sure you know that but just wanted to point it out. Nursing home take medicare and these are the facilities where a person's home, etc. can be taken to help pay. An assisted living facility is where the patients pay to stay there. Because of that, they usually are often not understaffed and the workers are paid better. At my grandmother's place, she is in a villa with I believe 14 rooms which can be private or semi-private. They may have a pet there (within certain limitations). There have been a few patients with small dogs but at this time there are no pets in her villa. There is more freedom in coming and going for the patients (in some cases not all). There are many activities and many of these are off campus, so to speak. My grandmother's place has great food. We do take food for her b-day, holiday parties, etc. but many of the patients do have restrictions. She is in the lowest (least care) unit for Alzheimer patients, but there are several in the facility who are there without health problems, they simply are a bit "feeble" and need someone to keep an eye out for them. They also need the dining services and laundry, drivers, etc. Just so you have an idea what the facility near you may be like. Good luck and let us know what you hear back!

I bet they would be thrilled to have you as a volunteer. Maybe you could be a substitute, where they call you on an as-needed basis, so you are not committed to a schedule. I have worked for non-profits all my life and they all counted on volunteer help. However, they really need to know when to expect you. Someone on staff has to be sure things are in order for you. They don't want to be scrambling looking for something for you to do. It really does require preparation. If you make friends with some of the residents, you could drop in as a friend, not a volunteer.

Years ago I took my Girl Scout troop and willing parents to a senior housing facility twice a week to play games, chat and sometimes just sit quietly with the residents. It was a wonderful experience for all involved. You will get as much from it as you will give!

I have a 90+ year old friend in the nursing home. I go every Monday and listen to her talk. Mostly that's what she wants, someone to listen. Taking food in might be an issue but the local newspaper and/or magazines with lots of pictures should be OK. Leave those in a common area. Since the nursing home laundry ruins everything that has elastic in it, I hand wash her bras while I'm there. I keep some laundry soap under her sink. I have taken my McDonald's lunch there at meal time and eat at her table with her. I have permission from the family to take her out. I have to sign the book when we go and when we get back. Sometimes we just sit out front in the sun. Sometimes we go for a drive. I dread the day it could happen to me. 24/7/365 in the same 2 rooms with nothing to do but think or watch the channels that the home provides on TV. She doesn't even know what season it is. They have some activities available but not much she is interested in. If I lived across the street, or even in the same town, I'd go every day. As dedtired said, you will probably make friends with some and drop in as a friend as much as a volunteer.

Ha! Just saw you are across the street from assisted living. Whole 'nother ball game. Usually not so strict and the residents come and go. Bet there are some who don't come and go as much as others.

Tina, there are different kinds of assisted living facilities. Even though my parents paid nearly $9500 per month, the facility was seriously understaffed. Medicare only pays for 30 days of nursing home care. Medicaid, not Medicare, covers many patients because most people cannot afford 4-6000 per month out of pocket. And, Medicaid determines payment so the facilities often run on a shoestring, even when they have many self-pays like my parents. Some other facilities offer progressive care, beginning with minimal aid, and care for the patient until death. The patient usually pays a larger upfront payment to "buy".

Good for you! Let us know how it works out.

Awesome!!!

Thanks Dee - I get medicare/medicaid messed up. Yes, I'm sure there are many different types of facilities. Here in our area I think we are pretty blessed because most of the assisted living facilities seem to be pretty top notch and well staffed. We did check out several before deciding where my grandmother should go. She of course pays her monthly "rent" to the facility. Any medical services are covered by medicare. I have not dealt with medicaid. Were your mom and dad in the same room/apartment? There was a couple in my grandmother's villa and I thought that so wonderful. They were a very sweet couple. I always enjoyed visiting with them. They passed away in the last year - within weeks of each other. We are so fortunate to have this facility for my grandmother. I never have to worry about her care, and she is content. I hate that she is there but I know it is for the best. She has actually done better there than she did at home with help. The "social" aspect has been a very good thing for her, both physically and mentally. The level of care goes up and they even have had patients who have hospice care, so I am hopeful that she will be able to stay there the rest of her days. She is 98!! I call her the energizer bunny . . . she keeps on ticking!

You are so wonderful to do this! My dad is in skilled nursing and my mom is in assisted living. We visit often, and see lots of volunteers interacting with the residents. God Bless You!

I'm going to meet with the coordinator tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it!

I keep thinking of how Kathy Bates' character in Fried Green Tomatoes fell so in love with Idgie Threadgoode. Maybe I'll meet an Idgie or two when I go. ;-)

My dad was in independent senior living apartments his last two years and my mom was in assisted living and memory care in her final years. I spent a lot of time in both and I have no doubt they will enjoy having you and no doubt that you will enjoy it too.

All 'homes' are different i'm sure, but I have been thinking about looking for one which allows volunteers to come and read to anyone who has poor vision/blind/can't read. It could be the newspaper, letters, book,whatever the person desires. I've always loved reading to my grands and know there are elderly folks who would probably enjoy being read to.

Jen, just read thru all the posts~I have a feeling you will bring a little sunshine into some of their lives. How about a little Texas Two Step for exercise? ;)

I hope your meet your 'Idgie Threadgoode' too, Jen! That was a lovely e-mail response back to you. I'm sure the orientation meeting will go well and hope a loose schedule will work out for you.

So glad you are doing this. Gives me hope for when it's my turn to be an "inmate" that there will be some caring people to stop by and say hello to me!

My mother is a professional pianist and she has often played for the enjoyment of nursing home residents. On one of her last gigs, she had just gotten through the first song when an Alzheimer patient piped up loudly and said, "OK! That's enough! Shut it down now!"

You gotta chuckle about some of this stuff. What is often very bittersweet, if not downright painful, does bear its own special brand of humor at times. :-)

I met with the coordinator today and had a tour of the facility. It's lovely. It's warm and cozy and has a real home-like feel about it. There are approximately 40 residents, and I met quite a few of them. One of the ladies asked the coordinator, "Where'd you find this pretty girl?" and that was so cute, as it's been ages since anyone's called me pretty or a girl! ;-) From the minute I walked in the door, folks were friendly. As I sat in the lobby and waited for the coordinator to meet me, a couple of ladies (residents) were sitting out there and they immediately started chatting with me. Just so very friendly, and obviously eager for someone NEW to talk to.

There are numerous activities throughout each day, and I may be able to pop in some evenings but mostly my involvement will be on the weekends. Playing games with the residents, reading stories to them, or just taking them out into the beautiful garden courtyard on nice days so that they can get some fresh air. And talking. I'm sure there will be PLENTY of talking.

The facility has a photo wall where they post pictures of residents fulfilling their "bucket list." Several of the ladies had always wanted to go to the theater, so there are photos of them dressed up at a production. One gentleman wanted to go fishing, and there's a photo of him kissing the fish he'd caught. One sweet little lady wanted to ride a motorcycle, but was too scared to get on the back of one, so they found one with a sidecar and she rode in that. As you can imagine, her photo was just beyond precious.

This is a Level B facility, which was explained to me to be a facility in which the residents require SOME assistance but are generally mobile and able to feed themselves. One of the women who lives there has a little dog, and two of the men have cats. One is actually a kitten, and the receptionist told me how lonely he had been until he got this little cat, which now sleeps on his shoulders.

I'm so looking forward to going back and getting involved. I felt I did pretty well today in stepping outside my own comfort zone and engaging with the residents, trying not to be self-conscious or shy. I'm pretty sure I even detected a streak of mischief in some of the women. This may be interesting! Certainly it will be a blessing to me, to be able to share some time with my new neighbors across the street.

Oh, sounds absolutely great. Again, please keep us updated. Maybe introduce some to GW.

Only concern - an elderly person adopting a kitten. They can live 20 years, will he be around that long?

Jenn, you could certainly say that about my grandmother. We (nicely) say she has "spunk"! LOL

ETA: I'm so glad you had a good time today. Even those who have visitors enjoy having someone to talk with - and as you said - someone new. I'm sure you've noticed that sometimes older people, especially if they have health/mental problems, sometimes revert to some childlike behaviors. My grandmother sometimes gets a bit jealous of the others in her villa talking to us (my sister and I). I'm sure you will get a good bit of enjoyment from volunteering there, just as the residents will enjoy having you!

I have a feeling the kitten will be looked after no matter what. There seems to be a very strong sense of family there, and the receptionist told me that she has taken the kitten to the vet for its shots (and to be dewormed). She sounded like she was attached to the little thing as well.

I have a friend who is in a rehab (nursing home)and will never be able to return to her home.When I visit I see so many people in wheelchairs just sitting in the hallways. It is so sad. At easter time I made up little baggies for the residents on the same wing as my friend. I put in little flower pots with some silk flowers and easter picks. I put each in a decorated cellophane bag and added a tag with sayings like welcome spring or time for flowers etc. The residents absolutely loved them and I still see some on window sills or side tables. There but for the grace of God.

When my mom visited her friend in a nursing home, she noted that there were never any mirrors. Is that true of the place near you? It would be fun to brush their hair, do a little blush on them, etc.

I'm so glad you are going. I used to take my kids to visit my mom's friend and people lit up just to see them.