Most of the home needs updating, we want to get new appliances and such eventually, but for now we were just going to paint.

A blue or blue green with a gray undertone might work. Fortunately most paint stores sell small bottles of tester paint. A friend used Sherwin Williams Sea Salt which I though looked very nice with her woodwork. Sea Salt changes color depending on the lighting, so paint a sample area an look at it over a few days in different lighting.

I have light oak cabinets with white trim and have cream walls with a touch of beige - just enough color to help my white trim stand out. Gray may be in, but it doesn't make it the best choice for all homes. I prefer my home not to look like everyone else's.

Thanks for the comment and advice!

Do you think having the living room a standard gray while having the kitchen/dining room area a blue or green with gray undertone would look weird?

I know that going unique has many advantages. Everyone in our college town has these oak cabinets and brown or white walls because its mostly student housing. So gray will be unique for our area (hopefully!) and look good (again, hopefully!)

I would not use two different paint colors in such a small space (it's all open floor plan, right?). I would also not paint your space gray. Not every room has to be gray and not every kitchen has to have painted cabinets ;-)

I second the suggestion of a warm light blue - that may be a nice and different look for your space.

Izeve, thank you as well for your input. Will a warm light blue work with the charcoal sofa and black coffee table we have already? It seems we might be trying to balance too many opposing colors

Since I don't have open concept I will let someone with more experience answer about changing the paint color from one room to the next. Sea Salt does look gray in some light, so it might even give you the effect you want. Another thought is to do a google image search of "oak cabinets gray walls" - you might see something you like. Houzz does not have too many oak cabins on their search engine so google images will give you more results.

from google images:

Possible helpful article:

http://bungalowhomestagers.com/2013/10/5-top-wall-colors-for-oak-cabinet-kitchens.html

Adding oil rubbed bronze hardware to your cabinets will also add a lot:

Kitchen and Bath in a Mt. Kisco Colonial · More Info