I read on sugar promotes cancer decades ago in books, now google news report the actual research: "Table sugar may increase the risk of breast cancer, according to a new animal study from the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. ...

The study found that at six months of age, 30 percent of mice on a starch-control diet had measurable tumors, while 60 to 58 percent of mice on sucrose-enriched diets developed mammary tumors.

In addition, the mice on a sucrose- or a fructose-enriched diet were at an increased risk of cancer spreading to their lungs, compared to those on a starch-control diet."

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/01/04/sugar-may-increase-breast-lung-cancer-risk-study-finds.html

Very good thread Straw.

A very well written first post. I will also try to compile my goals for this year which, interestingly, are not related to enhancement in my professional career. They relate more to personality improvement. I think I have a lot to learn and lot to amend.

regards

Khalid: I agree on that. I quit my job as a computer-programmer to stay home and take care of my family ... best choice ever ! I treasure every minute with my kid, since the day she was born. Lots of people advance professionally but don't take the time to mature spiritually or emotionally. Good choices guide us toward the right path which leads to heaven & eternal life.

One of the book I read was a comparative study between Western vs. Eastern on marriage. The West focuses on "Love as a feeling", people get married out of "romantic-love", or "being in love", then divorce when the feeling is gone !! In contrast, Eastern countries get married on "choice", the parents choose the mate for one's son or daughter. Psychologists did a survey: those who were pre-arranged to be married end up happier and stay with each other MORE SO than those got married through feelings of "being-in-love".

Why? Because they form good habits of choosing love everyday, rather than do things only when they feel like it. The minute they don't feel attracted to their spouse, they find someone else. When people base things on "feelings", they become fickle, unstable, weaker, and betray each other.

Only in my 50's that I realize love is a choice, rather than a feeling. I was in "mutual-in-love" relationships when I was young .. it lasted 1 year the max, typical of "in-love" relationship ... like sweet frosting on a cake, but the cake crumbles.

Love is a choice builds a solid cake, and the frosting is a by-product of the loving actions. It's stronger than "love as feelings" because the commitment lasts forever.

An excerpt from below link on making choices to love our spouse better:

"Love is a choice, not a feeling or an emotion. It’s a decision you make every day of your life. Even when your mate doesn’t take out the trash, or spends too much time at the mall, or when poor financial decisions set you back—you can still decide to love. Love is for better or worse. And when you choose not to love, you’ve given up and given in."

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/love-is-a-choice-30-ways-to-love-in-action/

The Bible, and what Jesus taught also point to Love as a choice, rather than a feeling.

“just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; remain in my love.” (John 15:9)

John 13:34-35 “I give you a new commandment—to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 Everyone will know by this that you are my disciples—if you have love for one another.”

John 15:12-13 “My commandment is this—to love one another just as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this—that one lays down his life for his friends.”

Luke 6:27-28 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

Deuteronomy 30:19 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!

http://www.redeemingmarriages.com/love-is-more-than-a-feeling-its-also-a-choice/

“You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling. "Tell me why?"
"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

“We are our choices.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

*** From Straw: True, we are the "sum of our choices". A book that helped me a lot is "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life [Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend). That book helped me to set boundaries for myself, so I don't get hurt by others. Re-post what I posted in the other thread:

Love as a feeling doesn't last long, esp. when it's not honest to others. Love as a choice lasts longer, because it's based on commitment to do what's right for oneself and others.

Loving oneself is a choice too, commit to fruits & veggies & exercise for one's body, and select good people & good thoughts for one's mind.

Sometimes I succumb to the feeling of letting someone bother me, then get hurt .. when I should had made a better choice of being in touch ONLY with those who care for me: God my Creator, family & friends.

Love as a feeling is given from weakness, ego and insecurity, but love as a choice is given from strength. People fall in love from weakness: they want someone who has what they don't have: be it looks, youth, money, power, or opposite attract.

Love as a choice is given from strength .. do I feel like giving to charities when my roof is leaking? No, I don't feel like it, but I make that choice, for the sake of others & my own eternal life. Did Jesus feel like it to come down on earth to give love, and be crucified on the cross? No, He didn't feel like it, but He made that choice out of love and for eternal benefits of many.

Beautiful write up and a very good thread. Would go through it again?

"Love is a verb". I read that in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It makes sense to me that it is a choice as well as an non-conditional action.
After reading the Harry Potter quote, I thought of this Native American parable:

"An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger
at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you
a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken
so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like
taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled
with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is
as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm.
He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense
when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right
to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing
will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time,
for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so
great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me,
for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked,
"Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."StrawC, Hope you're feeling better from your bout with the flu.

Thank you, Msgirl, for that wonderful bouquet .. the best ever !! Really like the many colors .. I hope you have a great year ahead for your work, school, and social life.

Thank you, aztcqn, for a wonderful parable of the 2 wolves ... we should strive to be the 1st wolf "But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die ... One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended.

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?" The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

So true, we are the "sum of our choices", and we are what we feed, or re-inforce. My life is meaningful once I purposefully "make beautiful choices for God".

After the 1st year, people fall out of love .. it's because they rely on initial feelings, which don't last long ... what lasts long is the foundation made by daily choices. Love is a choice, rather than a feeling.

Making a choice to love is a good habit, which helps us to be in love with our Creator and do good for ourselves & others.

Ever since I make a conscious effort to give more hugs to my family, the end result is I create more "in-love" feelings. Exercise is hard at first, but after making repeated choices, it becomes a habit and it's done automatically like eating.

I made a choice to do treadmill while watching TV, and that lay a foundation for a good habit for life... that REPEATED daily choice is a firmer foundation that any New year resolution.

Ms girl

That's a nice plonk. I counted 14 different roses. Wow.

Thanks folks...

Hehe Sam, actually don't count the yellow ones, those are store bought. Here's the other angle:

I'll try to add some pics in the travel thread :)

Cool

Hope you had fun on the mainland.