bpathome I was thinking of this too, the Last Lecture. I couldn't write about it as I would start bawling!

My daughter and I redid her room many times. We even did purple and turquoise once. We repainted, refinished, re-stained, and repurposed many things. I loved that she was creative and excited for a new project. I did not always like her color choices, but seeing her delight in her "new" room made my heart sing. She tells me often how lucky she feels to have been given the freedom to make her ideas and choices happen. I treasure those times. She is grown now with children of her own and re-doing a room now isn't nearly as much fun for me. Enjoy these times to the fullest!

theresa6, if you post a picture, someone could color the walls for you in both the color your daughter chose and the color you would like. Maybe the visuals with change one of your minds and you can both be happy.

I would split the decision with her which can come in handy in many situations in her life. I would pick the paint colors for the walls in a favorable palette to the rest of the house and she gets to go all out with her fashion sense and color choices in the bedding and accessories for her room. Very good deal for both of you. She learns about compromise and you learn how to appreciate her taste. Plus it is much easier to change later as she changes her likes and dislikes.

Part of raising confident and competent children is allowing them learn how to make good choices. And mistakes. The more choices they are allowed to make growing up, and have to live with, the more they master the ability to sort out the important elements of decision making from the trifles. And to learn to consider longer term consequences than five minutes from now, or next week. I would rather they hone their skills on safer decision dilemmas, such as room colors, than to cut their teeth on the others they will face with peer pressure.

I think the HD forum has spoken.

Go with your daughter's choices.

My friend let her daughter choose... and she learned her daughter has an eye she doesn't have. It could turn out better than you thought.

Thank you everyone for the overwhelming response. I really needed the reminder that they are only little once and this is her space and that I want it to be special for her. I'm going out to buy her paint today!

I have a friend who did not have the best childhood. In high school she moved in with her grandmother and one of the happy memories she speaks about is, "She let me paint whatever color I wanted."

Ironically, I'd be much more "overseeing" of how a teen designs their room since it's in teen years that hormones and "moods" can become erratic, so I think they need a room that won't play into dark moods/depression, etc. But that 8 to, say, 14 or 15 is such a great time for them to explore their tastes and start creating the kind of environment they like, IMO.

It depends on who's painting. First go-round, when I'm painting, I ask for input and then give options consistent with their input, and that I like. When they're old enough to help paint I let them choose, with the constraint that it can't be too hard to paint over (no black or bright red!). That was for my girls. My boys couldn't have cared less, which was handy, because they shared a room and not having to deal with conflicting opinions was great.

yes, i would also let her paint the room the colors she likes, even if i thought they didn't match...

gotta say tho, i think i would have chosen not to allow pink rose wallpaper and a pink canopy bed for a little boy tho... :( (i don't think i would have allowed wallpaper, period for any room, tho we did use borders...) but, i don't think i would have allowed my son to have pink painted walls when he was young... hard to say for sure since i never asked for that.... i have always felt that kids' bedrooms should be their own and decorated as they like with their own choices-if they have that interest- as long as it fits in their parents' allotted budget, but i think i would have nixed that idea, which makes me kind of sad...

I'd let her pick the colors. Paint is cheap.

When we did a nearly whole house reno, I let my kids (1 boy, 1 girl) pick out the colors for their bedrooms and bathrooms. Each picked a different color for each room, so 4 colors total between the two of them. The kids were happy and still are, 7+ years later. I was happy to let them define their own spaces.

Why can't a boy have a pink room?

I know a young teen boy who I think may be gay (not sure and he hasn't said). His parents are a little more traditional than I am and sometimes I worried a bit about him. However a couple of years ago he proudly showed me a project he and his dad made together and his dad helped paint it in his favorite colors - pink and purple - I don't worry as much anymore. I notice his parents also don't tease him about "girlfriends" or anything like that...times are changing! <3! <3!

My parents didn't have a lot of money and were always very concerned about resale (we moved a lot), but they did let me paint a bedroom seafoam green with a dark purple cat mural...in retrospect not one of my finer decorating moments.

Yep, I don't see painting a room pink as going to change our make someone not be who they were going to be no matter what.

Not only would i let my son paint his room pink, i bought him a doll at the age of two. He was named Michael. And i raised him to know boys can do anything girls can do and girls can do anything boys can do. He's fully heterosexual and in touch with both sides of himself, masculine and feminine. He's very aware and stands up for everyone. Nothing bad happened giving him a doll along with his cars, baseball practice...

i would guess some/many(?) little boys 'can't' have a pink room (esp one with other more feminine touches such as lars wanted) because their parents say no...

i probably would have too- esp to a frilly canopy bed-... we did have flannel dinosaur sheets when they were all young with quite a bit of pink in them- don't know what i would have said if one of my kids wanted to match the pink, but i never faced that!

i think it might be easier for parents to give more free rein to teenagers wishes for their rooms... altho it might be harder, esp if your child is into something 'darker'- something like goth...

As a preschool teacher I constantly reminded parents and once in a while the children, but mostly the parents, that there are no boy colors or girl colors, there are just colors. The same should be said for toys and clothes too. We can not make someone something they are not but we can break their spirit trying.

All the colors in the box are equal. Colors are colors they have no sex or gender they are inanimate. People assigned sex to colors for some unknown and ridiculous reason. A child thankfully sees just colors in a box as they are inanimate objects. As it should be.

When I was a teenager, my parents picked out new furniture for my room. I wasn't even allowed to go with them to look at it. I hated it.

My daughter helped pick out her furniture. When she got a little older, she repainted her room many times. It was fun for her, and not a big deal for me.

When my parents built their house they hired a decorator to do our rooms. I had absolutely no input and the decorator never met me. He was simply told it was the younger daughter's bedroom. He must have been imagining a five year old instead of a 13 year old. My mother and I had a terrible fight when I walked in and found pink bedroom walls, three tiered curtains with ballerinas on them, ballerina artwork and pink and blue bedspreads with a ruffly skirt. I hated it at first sight and she thought I was an ungrateful brat. It was expensive! I have to admit I did not give my boys a lot of leeway either, mostly because I had a dream vision for my kids bedrooms. Maybe my mom had the same, although she says she gave the decorator free rein because she had so many decisions to make with the new build.

Anyway my boys didn't take long to cover the walls with posters and shoved the furniture around the way they liked. I don't think they cared what color the walls were, except my younger son who disliked some sports themed wallpaper. That got yanked once he was a little older.

Let her do what she wants with some judicious input from you.

What Ravencajun said:

I would split the decision with her which can come in handy in many situations in her life. I would pick the paint colors for the walls in a favorable palette to the rest of the house and she gets to go all out with her fashion sense and color choices in the bedding and accessories for her room. Very good deal for both of you. She learns about compromise and you learn how to appreciate her taste. Plus it is much easier to change later as she changes her likes and dislikes.

I think this is incredibly wise.

I let my children decorate as they please, but I sometimes impose a little process. When my daughter was eight, for example, she wanted to paint her room a very deep teal. I had her live with big sample boards for a few days before she made her final choice.

I don't have children. But I remember that growing up it was mom and dads decision how the bedrooms were decorated,until we got our own room. All 3 girls were in one, two boys in another and my oldest brother had his own. It was probably easier for them to just control the decor rather than referee. By the time I got my own room,I knew right away....pink everything. I was so happy. My father HATES pink. Like,really hates it. But as my mom reasoned, he doesn't have to go in there. She still didn't let me pick the shade though. She said, you pick the color,I'll pick the shade.You could do that or give her a choice of shades that you pick out,so both of you have some control. But i dont know what the harm is in leaving it like it is. If your daughter likes it, what's the harm? So what if it doesn't go together? She's probably not thinking about design rules and whether thing go together or not. She's picked colors that she liked and make her happy. She is 10, and will probably change her tastes and color preferences 20 more times before her tastes mature. Although I should warn you...my mother said the same about me. ..I was bought first home at age 30 and painted my kitchen the tackiest shade of cotton candy pink. It's my favorite room in the house. You could always do what my dad did, just put up with it and repaint it as soon as she leaves home. (No joke, when I announced my intention of moving, the next day he had shoved all of my stuff to the middle of the room so he could paint it.) Some people have no taste. :/

life is too short., let her pick the color as long as she knows she has to live with it for a while. if she loves it or hates it, you will have made a memory and laugh about it when she's older!!! and help her learn to make decisions and learn consequences... there are more important things in life to stress about...

when my oldest went to college, my youngest pick out bright lime green walls and a deep pink ceiling. chocolate brown shag carpet and brown pleated shades., it actually looked ok....she was in 8th grade. i didn't care, wasn't my room. now oldest is back home in grad school and couldn't take the walls, said they were making her stressed, lol. so we painted in the fall, BM chelsea gray and both are happy. youngest now in college.... hopefully the next change will be when they move out and the room becomes mine, !!!! (although love the chelsea gray)

I just went through this with my 11-year old. She wanted turquoise and purple for her colors. We are almost done. We need a new comforter, white desk, matching chest, and white shelves on the wall. Here is what we have so far.

Thanks for all of the Feedback everyone, it's been wonderful. I just painted her room in the color that she wanted. Turns out that I really like it! I still have to get everything back in there but so far so good.

Good for you Theresa! Your daughter will remember this for the rest of her life. I know I do. Mom is gone now, has been for over twenty years, but I still remember how she always encouraged me to be me and be creative.
At least your daughter didn't want a bright yellow walls, baby blue ceiling with deep blue carpet. We decorated a blank ivory border with sayings in a rainbow of color. I didn't like it, at all,but she did. That's what mattered.

The colors are the best, but I think you get the idea. Not pretty. LOL

Good for you! It has been more than 45 years but I still very fondly remember my mom letting me paint my bedroom a very bold color. It sent a message of letting me make choices and her trust in me, that went far beyond that can of paint. For me it was a big thing.

I would let a child have as much input on decorating their room as possible - especially easily-changed relatively inexpensive things like paint or a rug. They live in the room, so it's important that they like it - no one else. They are exploring their own tastes, and what looks appealing to a child is often not the same as what looks good to an adult - obviously!

I was so annoyed when my mom asked me what color I wanted my new room when we moved when I was 13 - I had ivory colored furniture and I wanted a deep indigo-navy blue. I picked out the paint but when she got it and decided it was too dark she diluted it with white and made it more a sky blue. I like sky blue but it didn't have the contrast I'd wanted with the furniture, and didn't have the effect I was after. I had a vision! I was always so disappointed in that room.

OP my 10 year old is a huge Sully from Monsters inc. fan....same color choice. We did the teal blue color on the walls. I used khaki curtains and wood furniture for a bohemian style look.

Pretty!

Very pretty. I like the that looks alot!

It is just lovely!

I love it!

Really nice!

It looks great - and she'll love it. (Tara, I love your dd's room)

I love the colors and am glad you trusted her. When we moved into our house 18 months ago, I let my sons choose the paint colors for their rooms. I did say no when oldest wanted red or black. He settled on a bunch of posters instead;)

handmethathammer, when we moved into our previous home (when my son was under 2), we put in red carpeting (with a print wallpaper). When we recarpeted the rest of the house years later, that red carpeting was still in great shape and he asked us to leave it alone, which we did! (We finally replaced it when he was in high school).

Looks great! Aw, it's my original suggestion, she may have had an eye for it that you didn't. Kids are great like that.

My kids are adults now, but I always let them pick their paint colors. At one time, my daughter painted it lime green with black (Yuck!) And then after that it was mango.

Yours did a great job!

She did a great job! Very pretty room!!

I didn't even look at this thread when it started. Our kids are adults with kids now and they pretty much let their kids pick their rooms so I do have a bias.

Your DD did great. It obviously turned out very well and is so cheery and bright, just what the room (and she) needed. It wasn't what I envisioned from your first description at all.

I love how her room is coming along! It's fun,sophisticated, and entirely appropriate. The wood tones fit in really well.

I didn't go into my personal experience with letting children choose their decor, but overall my attitude is that they should have choice within a set of parameters; I have boys who are not highly opinionated and my decor style is not highly feminine.

That's a gorgeous room! Well done on letting her do her own thing. She's at a great age to be given some decorating freedom.

it looks great!! and, most importantly, it's exactly what she chose!!

Nice room - I know your daughter loves it

Very nice! I'm glad she got the room she wanted.

A general rule...if they're old enough to paint the primer and new paint color, when they get tired of the bright color they want....let them paint it :)

I was reading something not long ago, maybe a month ago? On NPR I think, maybe. But apparently at the beginning of the (previous) century, pink was considered a boy's color by those who arbitrated such things.