Can you have an overflow area where less used things (fondue set, punch bowl) are stored, in a basement or garage? When we combined we sat down and chose one of everything (one stock pot, one wok) - the higher quality one - and packed the other up for "safekeeping" (eventually these wound up being donated but emotionally it felt better to pack them away for a bit first in case we missed them).

My husband is not much of an organizer so I did most of the organizing but he is the cook so I try to follow his patterns and make it logical for him. He is a sucker for any kitchen gadget imaginable so...I guess it's a good thing we have an overflow pantry.

we have also occasionally taken a half day and gone through where things are kept to see what is optimal for both.

I don't have experience living in a combined household, but I do feel like my DH and I still butt heads about storage/organization, 14 years later!

We both cook, and he is the kind of person who wants everything out where he can see it. I like to put things away when not using them. He loves his gadgets too, and he is not as concerned about maintaining order -- at least not the kind of order that I would like maintained ;-) Whenever I mention he has too many gadgets, however, he brings up my waffle iron. Yes it's a gadget, and since he doesn't like waffles at all he thinks it's ridiculous.

The most successful approach that I've tried is to streamline or de-clutter my own belongings first, and store them in accordance with frequency of use (most often used = easiest access). Then I address his things with him, and plan out where they might be stored. I will move my things into harder-to-access places sometimes if it means he'll agree to not store his thing on the counter. We both think that our way is the best (of course LOL).

We still have some dumb redundancy; three different manual can openers, for example, as we haven't been able to compromise on how to consolidate. At least they don't take up excessive space. Sometimes, when I'm going through and organizing, I'll point out to him that we have "x", and have had it for such and such many years, and maybe we don't really need it...sometimes he'll agree and we then donate it.