oh I had a whole explanation but it didn't post in the topic! i think our options are (1) painting the cabinets a warm white, (2) painting the tile as a temp measure, either a graphite-ish dark gray or a warm greige, (3) changing the tile backsplash. for new tile I like greenish glass subway tile to "cool" the room/add contrast, or a warm cream arabesque tile that has a pinkish tone to pick up from the counters. which do you think we would have the most impact? or am I totally off base here?

Well, the simplest single change would probably be to replace the backsplash with something cooler, like white or pale gray. Another single thing would be to repaint everywhere, to deemphasize the warm tile tones.

I think that the cabinets look great. I would not make any changes until I could change the tile floors. The tile is the only thing that looks warm to me.

should the pale gray tile be a warm gray to work WITH the colors, or specifically the opposite, a cool grey to balance out the colors?

Agree, cream or white tile.

Wait until you move in and live in the home for a few months and find out what your biggest pain points are before deciding what to change.

Hmm a cream subway tile backsplash is definitely do-able!

I hadn't thought of just changing the floor, that's an interesting idea. What color scheme would we do on the floor to balance out the counter and current backsplash? I don't mind doing wood or tile...

Much cheaper to change the backsplash.

Change backsplash, and you can chang up the floor by using rugs in the foyer and kitchen to bring in colors you like. Changing the flooring will be a major effort otherwise, and not worth doing unless you are 100% sure that you love the kitchen layout and don't plan to change it in the next few years.

A gray glass subway tile backsplash would make the biggest change for the least cost so I would start there I would not go white or cream as those have no connection to the granite

I personally like the green/blue glass subway tile trend, and think it may go with the wall (you can see it at the top of the cabs) but i don't know that it goes with the counters, which are a brown/black peach/pink granite - like Patricia suggested.
I had mocked up a few tile options using Houzz's see in my room features, and the only tile that looks right with the counters are dark gray glass subway, and dark greige (which I tried in an arabesque design to go with the couple glass cabinet doors' design)..

the last pic here was an example I found of a green glass back splash with darker cabs.

let's assume we'll leave the floor as is for now. Jennifer makes a good point about living with the layout for a while before changing floors.

so we're back to changing the tile back splash, that's def the cheapest option, and with so much of it, I think it can make a big impact.

painting the tile is something I've seen in diy blogs but never really saw an "after" that looked classy. has anyone done that?

last option, painting the cabs to a warm cream just to break up the color of backsplash, counter, and floor. but it is def more expensive in labor costs than tile backsplash! if be cheaper but time consuming if we do it ourselves.. but we are not really diy people! lol so we'd probably get a guy for that.

IMO the only way to really choose a tile is to go to your local tile store and bring samples home, look at them in your light (holding them vertically as they will be installed) at different times of the day and night ... then go back and try more samples, and more samples, until you are sure.

Another change you could make that is easy and big bang for the buck is to change out cabinet hardware. Yours looks fine, but it is a good way to change the look easily if you are not thrilled with it.

You can also bring in colors you like with display items in the glass cabinets.

I agree with Jennifer Hogan - wait until you've been living there awhile before making changes. My first reaction was the colour differences from the first picture to the rest. To me this dramatic contrast of the almost orangey cast of the first pic, indicates that lighting may be your issue. The subsequent pictures show very neutral - not too warm. By up grading lighting you'll have a better working environment.
Plus never rush to trendy products just because - the life may be limited just as the small scale, busy looking mosaic tiles have lost appeal. I think after you've lived at your new home you might appreciate your unique looking backsplash and opt instead to change out your speckled granite that has been used since the early 1980's. A plain quartz counter - light gray or soft white would brighten the working part of the kitchen dramatically.
I think a clear glass blue colour on the walls would compliment all the other elements in the kitchen.
Don't rush!

I like the blue green glass subway tile backsplash idea too, but be sure to bring home some samples to see how it looks in the room before you make a decision.

@potter99 or anyone, do recessed light bulbs only come in one kind of white? they have recessed lighting in already, maybe we can get a cooler white bulb and maybe not even do anything else!

you all have been so helpful, thank you. it's our first home so I was like raring to go, you know? especially to try to do it before we moved all our stuff in. but it's probably smarter to wait and see what we really want changed after living there a bit.. because right now I still go back and forth on which element I REALLY can't live with (vs want to change because it'd be cheaper).