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kitchenwitch111

I don’t know what to do about my cat

8 years ago

I got my cat Walt as a stray in 2000 and he was full grown
then, so he is at least 18 years old,probably more. I’m
really not sure if he’s OK – lately when I sit on the couch he doesn’t want to
sit with me -- he will sit just out of my reach and just stare into space. If
he does come onto my lap, he mostly will stand there, awkwardly, and he just
won’t settle down. He never did like to be held, preferring to be with our other
cat, who died over 3 years ago. He sleeps a lot, and is very interested in eating,
but will often seem to forget that I fed him and then cries for more, but he will
puke if I feed him more (he has access to dry food at all times, but prefers
the canned food that he gets 2x day). He uses his litter box every time, but
doesn’t cover it. I had him at the vet a few months ago when I noticed that his
eye pupils were different sizes (still are), and the vet started the conversation of when
it might be “time” as Walt is very thin, deaf and I don’t think he can see very
well either (the vet thought the eye thing might indicate a brain tumor or
stroke). Now I’ve noticed that he smells sooo bad. I checked his ears, and it
doesn’t seem to be that, and I think it’s his teeth. In the past, when I had to
put a pet down, it was quite clear that it was time to do it, as they couldn’t
walk anymore or they stopped eating. I don’t think that he’s in actual pain,
but he does not seem happy, and now with this smell, I’m not enjoying him at
all either. I just don’t know what to do – how do you bring a much-loved animal
that walks and eats to be put down?? I’m not interested in medicating him to
prolong his life but I do want him to be comfortable. And I don’t want to get another
cat – this guy is the last of our family pets for now. I know so many of you
have pets – I'd appreciate any advice or insight.

Comments (44)

  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Oh it is such a hard call. Did the vet do a senior blood panel? I ask for there were some numbers on my older cat's blood work that showed end stage renal failure which help lead me in which direction I would go. There is nothing harder than making these decisions for our loved ones who have no way to show us which choice they would like us to make. He is in no pain so you probably have time to think through different choices.

    my thoughts are with you Walt.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked roarah
  • 8 years ago

    I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I've been there, as have most of us, and it's just heartbreaking to even think of having to say goodbye to a pet - especially one that has been with us for many years, as has your Walt. You say that he doesn't seem like he's in pain, but cats can be very ill without a lot of outward manifestation of pain. He may be suffering, and of course you don't want that. I would suggest another honest discussion/assessment with your vet. I think it's normal for us to wait for those signs that things are really bad, such as not being able to walk or not eating, but by then the animal is suffering greatly. Sometimes it's a kindness to prevent those very last days from taking place.

    Again, I am just so sorry. My heart aches for you and your sweet old boy.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked User
  • 8 years ago

    A dog rescue friend and I were talking about this recently. She has had a lot of experience with old dogs. Her opinion is that continuing to eat should not be construed into "it's not time yet." There is information on the internet about answering a series of questions (how many "good" days vs how many "bad" days) that help you decide.

    I would rather euthanize my pet a week too early rather than an hour too late.

    I had a cat with end stage dementia, and she just wasn't the same cat anymore.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked graywings123
  • 8 years ago

    We just went through this 2 weeks ago. Although Hanna (18.5) was still eating and using her litter box, she was having a great deal of trouble seeing. Her eyesight and hearing had been in decline for some time, but this was different. When she didn't use the litter box overnight and had no interest in food the next day I felt it might be time. Called my vet for a consult, but she was out sick. I then contacted a vet with Lap of Love for a consultation and possible home euthanasia.

    I spent the day sitting with Hanna and talking to her the few times she was awake. By the time the vet arrived that evening my husband and I agreed it was time to let Hanna go. The vet was here for over an hour. She was compassionate and empathetic. Hanna went to sleep without a bit of stress and we knew in our hearts that we gave her a final gift of love.

    My heart goes out to you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked User
  • 8 years ago

    Thanks so much, all of you. I'm starting to prepare myself to let him go. Makes me cry.

  • 8 years ago

    ((Kitchenwitch)) and (( cindymac)) may your memories bring a smile to your face during this sad time.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked roarah
  • 8 years ago

    Cindy, I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your sweet girl.

  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    I concur with better week too early than an hour too late. It is not an easy decision and it is a steep price to pay for the love our pets give us.

    I found this checklist very helpful to consider with my own senior cat. He ended up taking a turn for the worse right after I started consulting the checklist so it was unmistakeable but I now I wish I'd taken him in about a week earlier.

    http://www.naturescornermagazine.com/help_companions.html

    We recently had to let go a younger cat with intestinal cancer and as soon as she had an uncomfortable day, could no longer keep food down not responding to medication, we took her right to the vet. She had had about the expected lifespan after diagnosis and we did not want her to waste away.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked robo (z6a)
  • 8 years ago

    It is so hard to say goodbye to our pals. so sorry you are going through this.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked tackykat
  • 8 years ago

    I am so sorry. This is so hard.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Sherry8aNorthAL
  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. We did this in September with our old dog. She was still walking, eating, bodily functions OK. But she had some dementia, mobility issues, was about deaf, and had some incontinence. I waffled for quite a while, worried that I was making the choice for my own convenience.

    We were given a piece of advice by our doggie massage therapist that helped. She said to put a date on the calendar. THE date. We could always change at the last minute. So we did, about a week out. As it got closer, we never wavered on the date.

    When the morning came, the vet came to the house. The dog just looked tired, like living was just too hard. I had to think back to my Dad, who was in similar condition, and was just done. It wasn't fun any more. It wasn't going to get any better, so why prolong it?

    It was hard, but we went through with it, and feel like we made the right choice. Many hugs to you while you make your decision.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked aok27502
  • 8 years ago

    "Better a week too early than an hour too late". Thank you for that wisdom, Graywings. I'm going to remember and use it from now on. My heart goes out to you (((KW))). This is never an easy decision. Our fur kids are family to so many of us. I hope that Graywings' wisdom helps you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked LynnNM
  • 8 years ago

    KW, there may be hope if you think Walt can handle anesthesia at his age, but generally vets don't do it. Sounds to me that Walt has a serious infection with his teeth and when he grooms himself, he's spreading the odor to his fur.

    A bad infection can cause him to act differently, and I'm sure he's in pain. I bet if the vet took a look at his teeth you'll get your answer. At least you'd know what your'e dealing with. Is there a way you can look at them with a flashlight?

    Gently press on his upper and lower jaws and see if Walt reacts negatively.

    Also, can you tell if he's drinking water?

    I'm sorry you're going through this, losing a pet is just hard. :(

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Oakley
  • 8 years ago

    Ditto what Oakley said. I think he might be in pain, poor buddy. Have him checked out.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Bluebell66
  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Sending you a big hug, KW. The only thing I would add is that old cats are very prone to hyperthyroidism and that can cause some of the symptoms you are describing. We had an elderly femaile tortie, Tartee MarMar (named by my DS when he was 3) that I took to the vet for her "last visit" when she was 18. They did some labs and convinced me to try thyroid meds. Twice a day for the next 3 years, Tartee and I played "Pill the Toothless Rabid Badger". But by golly, for 3 more years we enjoyed her sweet, funny company. When the med no longer helped and the only other option was a 3 week quarantine for thyroid radiation, we knew she had earned her peaceful rest.

    You will make the best, loving decision for Walt.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked cattyles
  • 8 years ago

    Nothing to add to the wisdom already given, but a big hug. I've been in your place more than a few times. It's a heartbreaking decision. Best of luck.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked czarinalex
  • 8 years ago

    robo, thank you for posting that list. Looking at it, I think we have too often erred on the side of waiting. We lost three pets in 2016, two were euthanized in crisis situations that would have been avoided if we'd consulted that list. It was a terrible year and I'm still reeling--and we have a senior dog already diagnosed with a terminal condition and a cat on his 8th life still here, so I am grateful to have a concrete set of questions to refer to.

    Kitchenwitch, positive vibes for you and for Walt. It's never easy to make the call, and always hard to lose an old friend.


    Kitchenwitch111 thanked maggiepatty
  • 8 years ago

    Seems the time has come to make a decision. My poor cat suddenly up and died right beside us on the couch at age 7 so for you to get 18 years is incredible! Cats are just the best. I would say the odor is the teeth and that is why he prefers soft foods as dry hurts to eat. There is nothing wrong with letting him go, the memories will always be yours to keep. Good luck and just know that that last act is a gift of love.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked teddas
  • 8 years ago

    You are clearly a kind, thoughtful person who has nothing but your kitty's best interests at heart. So my hunch is.....you will just know when it is time. You are starting to question it and research it, so you know in your heart it's probably going to be "soon."

    Please trust your own instincts. You know him, you know his mannerisms, and you will know when it's time.

    It is so hard for strangers to "diagnose" this over the internet. And yes, there are all sorts of "don't wait too long!" tales out there. I experienced this first hand when the love of my life (she's my avatar) was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was surprised by the number of people who - with the best of intentions - basically pushed me to get it done. If you have convenient and reliable 24/7 medical care nearby.....I'm not sure I agree with the "week too early is better than a second too late" theory. Because how do you know what a week too early is? My girl lived another 3 months - as a happy, bouncing, ball-playing girl. Several people, with the best of intentions and no malice in their heart, would have deprived me and us of those 3 months.


    So yeah, talk with your vet, talk with your friends, bounce ideas and get opinions from as many people as you want to. But again, you sound like you are operating from a place of love and compassion, and you know him better than anyone else on this planet. You will just know. :(

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked User
  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    patriceny it sounds like you had a wonderful bond with your precious girl. My thoughts came from experience as I have waited too long with two pets. They declined suddenly, their passing was undignified and their last days were unhappy. I wish I could take those days back.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked robo (z6a)
  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    I am so sorry you are going through this, but appreciate your post and all of the others as DH and I are struggling with the same decision. We have been through it before, but it's always been clear cut and now it isn't. Our girl (a dog) will be 16 next month.

    Praying for strength and wisdom to make the decision at the right time and prayers of comfort for all of you who have said goodbye to a beloved family member who just happens to be an animal.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked texanjana
  • 8 years ago

    very sorry about your kitty. One thing I have had experience with is the terrible odor you describe -- it is definitely a sign of kidney failure. Two of my cats (long gone now) ended life with kidney failure, and they both smelled horrible the last few days. It was wrenching to let them go, but definitely was the only choice. I miss them still but expect they are waiting for me to join them eventually ("what took you so long??!?)... hugs to you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked roxanna
  • 8 years ago

    Thanks so much for your thoughts and collective wisdom. I
    took a different look at Walt in the last few days and realized that he was really
    miserable and not feeling well at all. He was simply getting through life, and
    I knew it was time. My sister came to be with me and she was the one who found
    him years ago and I took him in because her cats would not accept him. I had a
    young cat at the time and he & Walt ended up becoming close buddies. The
    vet confirmed that the odor was his kidneys shutting down and there was no
    question that letting him go was the right thing to do, and it was peaceful. I’ve
    owned cats and dogs my entire adult life, and Walt was the last of my family’s
    pets and it feels weird to not have him here after all these years. I’m not planning
    on getting another pet for now – I have some travelling to do and it will be
    good to not have to worry about him.

    As far as heaven, well, I’ve known some animals that I’d
    swear had a soul, and some people that I’d swear didn’t, so who knows what
    happens! I like to think that we all will be together again. Thanks, everyone.
    I love this forum.

  • 8 years ago

    What a beauty. Sending cyber hugs to you. Thank you for the update.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked deegw
  • 8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Oh, what a pretty kitty. KW, you did right by Walt (what a great name for a cat!). I'm wishing you comfort and sweet memories to get you through your sadness.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked MagdalenaLee
  • 8 years ago

    Rest peacefully, Walt. I'm sorry you lost him but so glad that he had you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked cattyles
  • 8 years ago

    Sending you big virtual hugs. Walt was a beautiful boy.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked texanjana
  • 8 years ago

    What a beautiful cat. But you did the right, unselfish thing for Walt.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked writersblock (9b/10a)
  • 8 years ago

    I'm so sorry. He was a beautiful kitty. Eighteen years is a very good life for cat, and he had a happy life with you. When roxanna posted about kidney failure and odor, it made me think back to our B&W Maine Coon mix who had kidney failure as well. His last few days the odor was really bad from the toxins building up in his blood and he would exhale them. Unfortunately, with kidney failure in an older cat there is really nothing you can do. Our guy had zero kidney function at the end and it went downhill very fast over a few months where he was only in mild failure at first. He was much younger--only around 12 or 13. OTOH, we had another cat with CKD who lived several years, also hyperthyroid like cattles' "toothless rabid badger" that we had to give meds twice per day. I got a LOL out of that one; we could relate!

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked gsciencechick
  • 8 years ago

    I'm so sorry but know in your heart you made the right decision for Walt. He was truly a gorgeous cat. I hope you can rest I your fond memories and enjoy your travels.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked OutsidePlaying
  • 8 years ago

    Rest in peace Walt.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Bunny
  • 8 years ago

    Hugs to you, KW. Your Walt was a beautiful boy, and I am positive he knew how very much he was loved. May you find peace and joy in the days to come.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked User
  • 8 years ago

    Walt was a very handsome cat. You are a very good pet parent. He was lucky to have you in his life.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Sherry8aNorthAL
  • 8 years ago

    It sounds like you did the right thing. Bless you for caring. So many people treat animals as a disposable commodity, and cats particularly can end up being treated so poorly. He was a lucky boy to spend his final years with you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked User
  • 8 years ago

    I am crying as I read this. I am so sorry for your loss. You had a beautiful cat and friend.

    I had a similar situation with my soul mate Maddie. She was 15.5 years old and was miserable. She ate, drank, walked etc but she was not herself and I knew I could not let her live the way she was. I too posted here on this forum asking for advice. In doing so, it helped me come to the conclusion that was one I already knew but was having a hard time accepting.

    We put her down and I was sick with anxiety and sadness. It has gotten better over the months but everytime I see a sad story about a dog or one that even resembles her I get an ache in my heart. Luckily, those moments are becoming less.

    Stay strong. You had a wonderful friend who loved you and you loved back. You gave your cat a wonderful life. In my mind that is a gift. Huge hugs!


    Kitchenwitch111 thanked amykath
  • 8 years ago

    I am very sorry. It's so hard to lose our furry friends. Thinking of you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Bluebell66
  • 8 years ago

    You guys are all so kind, and my condolences to everyone who's lost a beloved pet. I really wasn't sure what to do and the advice and insights I got from you all helped me so much.

  • 8 years ago

    Is Walt suffering--so uncomfortable he cannot rest? Does he seem to get any pleasure at all from living?

    Asking those questions helped me a lot. I've been though the ancient pet experience many times now. What does Walt want? Spend a lot of time with him--he will tell you. Best wishes to you. It always breaks your heart, even when you do the right thing.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked hoovb zone 9 sunset 23
  • 8 years ago

    May Walt RIP. So sorry for the loss.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked denali2007
  • 8 years ago

    RIP Walt. ((Hugs))) for you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked cat_mom
  • 8 years ago

    What a beautiful cat. I think all of us with pets have been through, or will go through something similar. It's the price we pay for loving and being loved, not only by our pets, but our other loved ones, too. I wish you peace.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked Olychick
  • 8 years ago

    Thank you for your kindness to Walt. The last days of kidney failure are painful and you have spared him suffering. Be at peace sweet kitty and know you were loved and always will be loved and remembered.





    Kitchenwitch111 thanked kittymoonbeam
  • 8 years ago

    My heart goes out to you, it is so difficult to let go. A big hug & my sympathy to you.

    Kitchenwitch111 thanked eandhl2
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