I think we have all experienced it. When we renovated our condo down to the studs and bought brand new furniture (since it was our snowbird house) my DH worried about the walls and floors and I worried about the cabinets and leather sofa. Then we got a puppy. A puppy who for the first year submissive peed every time we came home or asked her to do something. And who one day decided my beautiful pillow I bought in Africa would be a great teething toy while we were out to dinner. lol.

We quickly learned that even though it's your dream house, first and foremost its a home and not a museum. The dings, scratches, etc are what give the house character and says this isn't just a magazine shoot, but that real people live here.

and just try and remember there is no such thing as perfection. A house is an object. A home is where lifetime memories are made. What memories do you want your family to remember?

cp has it. At the end of the day, or at your funeral, no one ever says "wow - their house was PERFECT"- they remember how they felt when you were all there, enjoying life. And just like marble counters soak up the stains of life and are appreciated for them, or that worn place in your grandfathers butcher block, or a handbag worn smooth, or a perfectly aged pair of shoes - your home tells a story. No one lives like the pictures we see on house, or Pinterest. Stop holding yourself to an impossible standard - it robs you of joy.

And frankly - everything wears out. Sooner or later, you will tire of the style or something will break (appliance, etc) and it will never be perfect again. And that's perfectly okay!

I tell my husband that I'm gonna order t-shirts for the whole family that say, "I'm the reason we can't have nice things." In all sizes, from newborn to adult large. :-D

(And I haven't even built my house yet! AND I'm goin' for a rustic thing anyway, to minimize perceived damage and add to the "character." Yet I still need these shirts, lol.)

That seems like a lot of serious damage in a short period of time! Perhaps you need to have a serious talk with your children about damage to your home. As for the countertop, I would contact the manufacturer and let him know what happened. He might be able to have it fixed for you.

Thanks everyone! You helped me to put it in perspective! The counters are the only major damage and I am in talks with the fabricator. The cabinets and floors are just minor - probably noticeable to only me - and the kids are toddlers so a talk about not damaging the house only goes so far.

Survive killer cells gone wild and it'll roll off your back. Really.

Toddlers, you say? Around here, every. single. toddler. we've ever had (5 so far, 4 of them boys) has had the privilege of wearing the Destructo-Tot badge. :-D

It is such a fun age, enjoy it while you can! They are such little comedians during this phase. They're so darn cute because parents gotta have *something* to keep us sane while they try to kill themselves and destroy everything.

And no, I don't allow the kids to run around like wild turkeys wielding baseball bats. That doesn't mean they don't try it first. And is it just mine, or do boys seem to not even care what the consequence is, as long as they had the time of their life doing whatever it was that got them into trouble? lol

Get cats.

Have had new houses, old houses, and now in a completely remodeled house. In my work as a remodeler/handyman, I saw/repaired many small and some major boo boos in some very nice houses.

Suggestion. Treasure the toddlers. Too soon they will be grown and then you will have a lot of time to learn how to repair all those dings and goofs-----if you can bear to erase the memories. :-)

My mom grew up very poor (like no indoor toilet poor) and my parents built a new house when I was five. My mom was crazy protective about everything and often exclaimed "I can't have anything nice!" I wasn't allowed to hang anything on the walls. It was not a comfortable, homey, welcoming place for the first ten years or so and when she started to ease up I left for college.

We're two years into our new house and our kiddos are now 4 and 7. I tried to choose durable and easily replaced finishes and furniture. I let them tape their artwork all over the house and they display it with pride. They know they aren't allowed to take a sharpie to the walls and they need to be careful, but if they make a mistake they're forgiven.

People are more important than things.

We are like that and then we are also clean freaks, so much so, we sometimes irritate ourselves when we are very tired. I am even more so with everything with our homes and my cars etc., no scratches, no dents, no marks, no squeaks, no nothing; we are so fortunate our kids know us well, hence grandkids, though they come and play a lot with toys all over the place for a while but they clear up too, cause zero damage knowing that even though I'd never say anything to them (that's their parents responsibility) but secretly I'd have a fit. We had a dog in NJ and my DW had trained him so well, he never peed in the home in his almost 13 years of life I have to admit our homes almost always look like show homes, but that's the way we are, freaks.

Thank you so much everyone! You are definitely bringing me back to reality. I love my children so much, and I hate when they can sense my disappointment or anger when something gets dinged or scratched. It is a constant battle. This is a great reminder that it is not the house or things that matter, it is the people living there and the memories made. Loving hearing all of your experiences!

It is *totally* a constant battle.

...Says the chick with a few Grand Canyon sized gouges -- against the grain, not with it -- in her relatively new, solid wood dining table. I was not as quietly gracious as I could've been upon *that* discovery, being only human and all... ;-) But since I couldn't figure out who did it (5 kids + 3/5 of them nonverbal = 0 ability to assign blame), I could just raise my voice at everyone and huff and puff while I tried to, at least, get the blue ink out.

But maybe it'll be like Mac says, and I'll beg my husband to not sand them out later!!!

Hugs, mama!!!

Hahaha! I love that story One Devoted Dame! I can so relate! Hugs to you too!

This is a worry I have, too. I have 3 young boys and I've already identified the places around the home that will make awesome hot wheels ramps. I want my kids to feel like they can live in the house, have fun, make memories, but, I also want them to respect the home, too. Good timing on your thread!

We circumvented a lot of that by making our new home as 'lived in' as possible. Reclaimed floors, antique light fixtures, doors, and hardware, and mostly antique furnishings prevent our house from having that brand new look. Neither of us has ever lived in anything close to a new home before, and we love the patina of a gently loved house.

All that being said, we have changed our lifestyle a bit. We used a lot of restraint in furnishing our house so we don't have the cluttered look that all of our other houses had. We've become much more disciplined about keeping things clean and organized. It's a joy to discover that when guests are coming by, it doesn't take long to breeze through the house to make things presentable.

We're just a couple empty-nesters and a well-behaved dog, which makes it easier. We're hoping for grandchildren eventually, though, and I'm not the slightest bit concerned about their 'contributions' to the decor.

We were just talking about the place my daughter drew on the wall (it's small and faint, we saved it) in the LR...that was nearly 12 years ago. Time does fly. She was so proud, LOL! And in some spots, I chose poorly with less durable materials. And I'm learning to live with it (yes it's taking awhile). Enjoy your house; enjoy your kids more. And make them roughhouse outside.

I'm a little shocked that quartz is so delicate since the manufacturers claim its tougher than granite. I had high expectations for my kitchen counters but rather than trust the opinions of others I subjected samples of different materials to everything that could possibly damage them and chose a granite that survived it all. Its still perfect after 30 years but we don't clean it with anything stronger than hot water and dish soap.

The island is maple that has been sanded and refinished so it looks new too. The cabinets have had some of their hinges replaced and some day I'll remove the doors and repair the dings. The brass hardware has a nice patina. The main house floors are quarter-sawn white oak finished with moisture-cured semi-gloss polyurethane with no damage so far.

The house has survived 3 children, two dogs and now a grandchild with no serious problems. I believe the secret is choosing the best materials and being skeptical of new materials and the claims of manufacturers and suppliers.

When you drive a brand new car off the lot, you need to go to the mall immediately in order to get someone to put a ding in the door. After you have received the first ding, you can enjoy the car. A home is no different. You need a ding or two in order to enjoy journey. Having said that, hide the matches. They can do some permanent damage.

I treat my new cars when I get them, like that. The first scratch... the first muddy feet (even if on the plastic floor pads)... Ack!! For months I don't eat in them.

Then, suddenly... my car now has 50K miles on it (I got it "pre-owned" and in spic and span condition at 22K miles). I'm eating, getting crumbs in it, and everything. It's now lived-in and comfortable!

I just know I'm going to be unhappy with every ding I give my new home for the first few months. I'm sure I'll get over it. I may even let my cats and their claws and their propensity to hairballs move into it with me!

Don't worry that they recognize your disappointment or anger when they damage something...they should!! This is how they learn appropriate behavior! Just because they are toddlers, they don't get a pass on everything. Your job is to civilize them!

Loving ones children is not the same thing as constantly worrying that correcting them will make them "unhappy". We do things because we know they must be done. A trip to the pediatrician may make them unhappy but it must happen.

I'm a firm believer in not giving dogs and young children free run of the house. Yes, it IS their house, too, but they are not paying the mortgage etc. I used playpens (gasp!) and at nearly 45 and 47, they show no ill effects. Certain toys belong in certain rooms - metal cars and trucks should not be in rooms where dings will be a problem.

It's a shame that more houses these days are not built with a playroom. That's where pretty much anything goes that doesn't draw blood or break a bone. I just cannot imagine having toddlers and all their toys in my living room/family room/great room. I have rights and needs, too!

My mom put me in a playpen. I survived. Oh, the horror!

All of this parenting stuff reminds me of one of my mom's favorite phrases:

"There's more than one way to skin a cat."

(Apologies to cat lovers. :-D )

None of us know the intricacies of anyone else's family makeup and situation, so we should tread carefully. Especially since this isn't actually a Parenting Forum (which I tend to avoid like I avoid sticking keys in electric sockets).

PS -- I acknowledge my contributions to the direction/derailing of the thread; I attempted to use humor to help the OP. In no way is it my intention to judge anyone's methods, even if I strongly disagree (like with general playpen usage). ;-)

It took me 4+ months to talk my husband into letting anything on the walls. The house did not feel like home until then really.

There are some scratches on the SS counters but not really noticeable except to me as they already have a swirl design on them.

A few dog scratches in the bamboo floor but we lost our dear dog to a brain tumor recently so I treasure those few scratches now. Perspective...

Not a house, but a good example of 'lived in'.

I bought a brand new pick up several years ago. Now, I had several used ones prior to the new one and often the only time those got washed is when I loaned them out.

So, brand new, shiny, pristine paint pick up and I go to the home improvement store for some bags of decorative white rock. I ask for loading help and the young man who showed up gasped as he saw the new truck. He picked up a large piece of heavy cardboard, placed it in the bed, and very carefully set each 70# bag of rocks gently on the cardboard. I was so impressed I tipped him $5.

Get home and #1 son comes out to help unload. He grabs the first bag and pulls it across the tail gate, leaving several huge scratches. Looks at them and turns white as a sheet. He grew up with my old clunkers and never thought. I shrugged and dragged the next bag across the tailgate and never said a word.

I did wash that truck on occasion and kept the outside clean, but before long the inside of the bed looked like a proper work truck.

Like most things, the passage of time will make it easier. One thing that helps is to have dedicated areas for damage/mess. We finished the basement and installed inexpensive flooring so I don't care what they do to it, and have a mudroom area to detox whatever they bring in from the outside. And while we were more lenient pre-new house, we've put in stricter rules around eating/drinking through the house - as in, only in the kitchen and DR, outside of some special occasions (like popcorn on movie night). And markers/crayons only in the basement or the kitchen while we can supervise (the toddler). Ultimately, kids like rules and adapt pretty easily to them.

Another example: our first real major furniture purchase after we married was a Tell City hard rock maple dining room table and chairs. Something I never dreamed I would be lucky enough to own. It was beautiful. The saleslady said it was so well made that we would be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary around it.

Well, here we are, having just celebrated 42 years at that table with its permanently-adhered glue-globs-and-smears on its surface from one of DS #1's Boy Scout projects. At the time, I was upset. Now - not so much. It's a reminder of when he was young and working diligently on that project. He had such a good Boy Scout experience and eventually earned his Eagle Scout award.

When they visit us now, his wife and daughter like to run their fingers over the glue and hear the story again.