I'd put RSVP by ____ and would give them a week.

Sounds like a fun event. I agree with bonnie_ann. Just put an RSVP request on the invite with your email. You'll probably have to chase some people down but I think that comes with the territory.

I agree that the timing is tricky. What is the RSVP cut off date for your wedding? When does you future MIL need to provide a number to the country club?

Having a statement on the outer envelope is a great idea. I would be sure the return address makes it clear that it's from you or your MIL -- full name, no initials. Then in pretty script on the envelope write something like "Oh, and one more thing about the wedding!" I like the idea of email response. I did that for an event I organized recently, along with the option of responding by phone, and was pleased that nearly everyone used email. I was sure to respond to every email so they knew we got it. It was also easy to keep track of responses. I just moved every email into a folder.

The party sounds wonderful. Glad you toned it down a bit. I have been to weddings where the rehearsal dinner almost made the wedding seem like an afterthought.

That sounds really lovely, Jojo! The steins with flower centerpieces and your menu are especially a great idea. How wonderful that you're marrying into a family with a such a great MIL!

"Pretzel dipping bar"!!!! I have not heard of this, but am going to steal the idea for an upcoming event!

your party sounds great, you are lucky to have such a generous MIL to be.

The event sounds like a lot of fun, and so glad your future MIL is a good sport about it. Your stein centerpieces are wonderful!

I agree with the 'rsvp by___ (date)' notation and ask for an email response, with an alternate phone number in case anyone has a last minute question or response to add.

I love the idea that your MIL had of having something for the out-of-town guests. We recently went to a wedding and the grooms family did the same thing. It was really nice for us to meet the bride (we knew the groom and his family) and her parents and friends on a more casual basis and ahead of time.

A pretzel dipping bar is a great idea. And the beer stein center pieces will be really fun.

I agree about the rsvp. Put it on the back on the flap, but not at the top but rather in the middle. Not everyone uses a letter opener to open letters - some of us are very messy when opening letters and you want that portion to stay in tact.

How fun! I'm stealing the pretzel bar idea too.

I am so delighted for you that your MIL wants to host an event that you will enjoy! And those stein center pieces are beautiful! FWIW, my most recent RSVP experience was that most people chose to text me (I gave my cell number and my email).

Love it! The pretzel bar isn't new here-- but it's always a hit. I think the whole theme is just perfect for the time of year and I love that your centerpieces are both manly and pretty! Perfect for a marriage celebration!

Sounds like fun! What is a pretzel dipping bar?

You guys are so nice! I'm so glad you like the idea. To be honest, I'm not really sure what a pretzel dipping bar is, but I basically want soft pretzels with different sauces for dipping i.e. cheddar/beer, mustard, and whatever else is customary. I just called it a pretzel bar. I'm hoping the chef can come up with something more definitive.

Funky, what kind of dips have you seen?

I also found a Craigslist set of six beer steins today in the next town over for $40. They are OK, but will look well with flowers. Some have sports teams. (I know, )but they will do in a pinch.

Google led me to this how-to for a pretzel dipping bar for anyone who is interested.

http://www.bellenza.com/wedding-ideas/decorate/how-to-set-up-a-pretzel-bar-at-your-wedding.html

A lot of casual restaurants and taverns here serve pretzel appetizers.. and there are services that will prepare them for larger events. The services are usually pretty uninventive.. mustard, cheese sauce and a cinnamon sugar. More fast foodish (and yet still a hit with young and old).

I much prefer the more interesting tavern flavors.. and they're great for a fall theme.. mustard apple butter (my favorite), cranberry mustard, apricot mustard.

Also, one of my sisters makes her own mustards-- with wine, beer and spirits. One that was a huge hit was a pumpkin ale mustard.

The invitation should be from your in-laws - they are giving the party. I assume this is to be a rehearsal dinner, which is traditionally given by the parents of the groom. It's early Aug still and your wedding is in Oct - you have plenty of time for invitations to go out.

Just went to pretzel dipping- was great fun!

Sounds like a lot of fun! My mil had a party for out of town guests and almost all attended since they all flew in the night before anyway. I would definitely use the rsvp option whether you contact by email or letter.

PS, somewhat like a rehearsal dinner we also invited the bridal party and the parents of the bride.