Best tips for building with large families in mind
We're in the thick of new construction right now and I've benefited greatly from the threads here about "must-haves" in a house. I would love to start a thread specific to families with (many) kids. That's definitely a situation where some thought to design and selection of materials can make day-to-day living much more enjoyable. I’ll get it started but please comment below and make this thread even more useful for others come across it.
I'm a Don Aslett fan and not a huge fan of spending my time on housework needlessly, so a lot of the ideas I'm implementing have to do with efficiency in maintenance. One of his tenets is to clean as often as is desired/sanitary, but disguise the mess in between cleanings so you don’t make yourself crazy. Example: Choose a kitchen countertop that doesn’t show every speck of dirt. You want to be able to wipe it down after every meal and have it look decent the rest of the day despite the inevitable crumb accumulation.
Many of these ideas cost extra money, many of them don’t. Families with lots of kids are usually used to prioritizing where their dollars are best spent!
OUTSIDE:
- A bike path, circular drive, an oversized garage or covered patio - all to the same end: To provide the kids a place to ride/trike/scooter/run in circles OUTSIDE, preferably even when the weather is cold and wet.
- A foot bath by the backyard entrance. This can be as simple as river rocks + a spigot and a stool. My kids often end up shoeless as they play in the backyard and an outside footbath keeps them from flooding the bathroom.
- An outdoor chest-height drinking fountain to limit trips in and out and reduce the number of cups used.
GARAGE:
- A wall-mounted clean-up sink, with a stool for kids.
- Smart storage for bikes!
- Consider where you'd put a dedicated freezer or possibly extra fridge.
- Consider upsizing your garage if possible. This space is far less expensive to build than the rest of your house per square foot, and room to store hand-me-downs and baby gear is pretty great.
MUD ROOM:
- Funnel all entrances and exits through a mudroom if possible to limit locations of shoes, corral messes, and make locating and closing left-open doors easier!
- Location is key, as is having space for coats, shoes, possibly devices, backpacks, etc.
- Put really great mats before and after every exterior door. Those cut down a huge amount on the dirt and dust that end up in circulation in the house.
- Plan on it getting wet and muddy - think about what it needs to be used for during each season of the year (snow clothes, sports stuff, etc.)
- Choose a flooring with variation in the color so it can disguise everyday mess. Make it as close to your local dirt color as possible. :)
- Include a spot to hang damp clothes.
- We included a “drop zone” as well as a spot to show our family calendar and family motto, goals, and encouraging notes to each other, etc.
PANTRY:
- Make it BIG! and consider adding a pass-through so groceries can be carried more quickly in from the garage.
- Include a counter with outlets so the slow-cooker / rice cooker / bread machine can do their jobs without having to be hauled out and put away again.
- Include space for bigger bins (flour, beans, lentils at our house)
E-SPACE:
- Locate a family computer visible from the public space for internet safety/accountability.
- Have a drawer to stash/charge the family's devices, especially before bed.
KITCHEN:
- Consider having two sinks. Light or medium-toned Silgranit doesn't show water spots like stainless steel and holds up to abuse.
- Two dishwashers... that way one can get "unloaded" right onto the counter to fill with food and be carried to the table.
- Lots of windows and/or a solatube. You're likely to spend a LOT of time here and you want it to feel inviting.
- Consider bar seating to facilitate conversation / homework while you're cooking and cleaning up.
- Pay attention to the size of your pots and pans when sizing your cabinets. I made sure I had tall enough drawers for my stockpots.
- We raised the height of our island to make it comfortable to prep on since the adults in our family are tall and we spend a good bit of time making food!
DINING
- In addition to the regular eating area, consider if another nearby space could be used to set up folding tables when you host larger gatherings. Often a large family maxes out a big table without any extra guests!
AWAY ROOM:
- This is a place near the public space, and perhaps visually connected with a glass door but separate enough to allow for a "quiet zone". Whether the away room houses the main sources of noise (tv, toys, etc. ) or whether it house the introverts and their books, it allows the family to be "together" in connected spaces but honors individuals' differing levels of introversion.
FUN:
- If you're building your own home and you have young kids (or grandkids) be sure to add some magic when you can! Secret doors, loops to run around, reading nooks, monkey bars across the ceiling of the play room, a slide alongside the stairs...there are so many good ideas out there!
BATHROOM:
- Towel rods for all our kids were NOT going to fit in their bathroom so we are doing behind-the-door double towel racks for each room.
- We put timers on all our fans so I don’t have to hunt them down and turn them off, and we invested in an automatic humidity sensing fan in the kids’ shower room as well so I don’t have to worry if that room stayed damp.
- Put plenty of outlets in the bathrooms. Electric toothbrushes, hair dryers, flat irons, etc. can add up with a bunch of teenagers!
- Avoid sliding shower doors. Those tracks are always nasty and they’re painful to lean over when bathing kids.
- Hand showers are great for bathing kids (and dogs) (and hosing off a variety of other messes).
- Plan on storing cleaning supplies (especially a toilet brush) in every bathroom.
LAUNDRY ROOM:
- Locate it near the bedrooms.
- Have a place to hang dirty but damp laundry so it doesn't end up in the bottom of a hamper.
- Have a place to hang things on hangers right out of the washer or dryer so you can skip ironing.
- Have a place for a clean laundry basket for each room. Sorting can happen as you go, and kids can pick up and put away 1/week instead of trying to get each stray sock to distant bedrooms after each load of laundry.
- We bought a Dry-Away because I tend to hang dry lots of clothes (to avoid setting stains and to make clothes last longer, primarily). We also added a fan to the laundry room, a kitchen faucet/sprayer, and a nice deep silgranit sink. Yep, this room was a priority for me!
More ideas in the comments...
Comments (26)
B Mac
Original Author8 years agoBEDROOMS:
- Plan on bunkbeds. We put outlets halfway up the wall where bunk beds would go so the kids on top and bottom have easy access to reading lights.
- Closet space is key! If you can get drawers in the closet it will cut down on the clutter of having dressers in the room. Don Aslett recommends something like 4 linear feet per kid, minimum.
- We put two pair door closets in each bedroom rather than one sliding door closet to cut down on the fighting when multiple kids want to access their clothes at the same time as well as the arguing about whose mess it was on the bottom of the closet floor.
- Consider adding a grooming station to girls’ bedrooms. A mirror by an outlet with a carpet remnant to catch makeup smears can turn a corner into a functional space that relieves the traffic jam in the bathroom.
FIXTURES & FINISHES:- Imagine cleaning it before you buy it. Clear glass light fixtures show dust and cobwebs far sooner. Chrome shows water spots faster than brushed nickel, etc.
- Look for a toilet with a “concealed trap”. That means the gross base/bolt assembly is covered in smooth, easy to wipe down porcelain.
- Consider a single faucet with a lever instead of 2 knobs + a faucet.
- Undermount sinks to eliminate the ridge to clean around.
- Look for smooth, wipeable styles rather than anything with extra ridges or fluting.
- Recognize things that will be higher maintenance as you choose them and try to balance cost and aesthetics with time to clean them over their lifetime (glass shower doors, white baseboards, shaker rather than slab front cabinetry, etc.)
- Consider using epoxy grout in areas that will get a lot of use (showers, mudroom floor…) It’s more expensive but far more resistant to staining.
MISC:- Central vacuum with a hide-a-hose and a vac pan in the kitchen. If you don't go with a central vac, make it as easy as possible to clean up under the kitchen table since you do that so often. (Locate a broom and trashcan nearby?)
- Sound insulation - for the master bedroom, away room, between floors, around bathrooms, etc. Consider green glue, putty pads, cast iron plumbing drops, anything you can to quiet things down. With many people in a house the noise pollution can be irritating and a little careful planning both with adjacencies and in the framing and drywall stage can make a huge difference.
- Add drawer liners under all sinks and all drawers with a potential for spill. The next 4 year old to discover the joy of squeezing sunscreen won’t reduce you to tears when you can simply wash off the drawer liner without damaging the cabinetry.
- We made sure our large walk-in closet had a vent and space under the door so we can use a pack and play in there when needed.
- Plan on several inviting places to read. They should be well-lit, comfortable and have books close at hand. Window seats are wonderful if you can work them in, or a beanbag by a window works as well.
- Consider outlet placement so you can use them as nightlights. (SnapPower guidelights are a cool gadget.)
- Use LED lights from the get-go so you don’t sweat as much when people inevitably leave the lights on!
Your turn: What else have you found helpful for your large family, or do you dream of having one day?
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoPlan on at least 3 kid bedrooms for the kid who isn't sharing well at the moment.
Separate bedrooms from playroom if you can.
Create a circular path in the house.
Put in a place for supervised computer use.
Designate homework/work areas.
Decide if a "family closet" laundry is right for the kids.
Only one TV. :)
Master shares no ducts with kid rooms.
BIG tile. Small grout. Cheap or incredibly durable flooring if you're in the country.
No trim or doors wit flat edges for sure.
Sliding closet doors are evil.
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A lot of really good information here.
Even for those of us that think 2 children is bordering on too many!! :-P :)
8 years agoDidn't read through it all because I only had 2 and they're now grown, but make sure you include lots and lots of storage everywhere. Storage drawers and cabinets are a wonderful thing with children. The more you have, the less mess is visible.
Closet organizers are a great thing. Ikea makes some great ones.
B Mac
Original Author8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago@OneDevotedDame: That list is gold! I laughed out loud about the dummy knobs. We're putting cabinet pulls on our pair doors for just that reason. We haven't had a similar bottom freezer or large mirror experience, but amen to the washable paint and bifold doors!
8 years agoLove your “foot bath” idea for outside, I’ll probably use that idea and make sure I have a spigot for that :)
Garage - not sure what you mean by “smart bike storage” but plan some square footage for toys/bikes/games since kids rarely put everything away every time. Also think of where your trash/recycling cans will go
Entrance/foyer - you say you have a large family - if you’re hosting events, plan for a decent sized foyer so everyone doesn’t walk over each other while trying to get inside during christmas. Enough space to take off shoes… Speaking of shoes, space for a bench... closet big enough to store their coats...
Mud Room - I love lockers. Some people put outlets in them and make their kids leave their phones/etc in their locker… up to your parenting style. Agree with the “drop zone” for keys/mail/calendar. More so for planning electrical here
Flooring - I’ll never have hardwood running up to an entry door ever again. Mats get wet or overflow, hardwood will get damaged there… tile for me next time
Kitchen - they make sprung platforms (for lower cabinets) to (for example) store a seldom used heavy mixer, but easily raise it up so you don’t have to keep lifting it. If you have anything heavy, consider those. Also if you’ll ever use multiple crockpots, consider how many amps they pull. I’ve been in more than 1 kitchen where there were 5-6 pots plugged in and the circuit tripped. Double ovens?
Laundry - even though you want a garage sink, a laundry sink is still a great idea. Kids can soil their clothes, something could be stained… sometimes you just need a good place to soak something. There are also plenty of wall-mounted “drying racks” you can find cheap on websites such as this one, or you can go old school and do one of those retractable laundry lines you pull out of the wall. Elevate your W&D on a short platform so you’re not bending over while using them. I hate stacked W&D’s personally. Speaking of these, you said you wanted 2 dishwashers. With a large family you could consider dual washer and dryers?Networking - I'd look into this topic and run >cat5 to each bedroom and anywhere that would use internet. Every potential tv spot. Imagine 2 tv's trying to stream netflix, someone on Xbox Live, another on YouTube on their phone... a wifi router can only do so much so hardwire everything you can! Also a good idea to hardwire a good/central spot for your wifi router, or even multiple wifi routers...
Misc - if you have small kids, a super cool idea I’ve seen is to put a low drawer under kid sinks, with inserts so they’re used as a step stool. If you live where it freezes, don’t put an extra fridge/freezer in the garage unless if you’re heating it. Put it in the basement instead. Again, just more electrical planning
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoEntrance/foyer - you say you have a large family - if you’re hosting events, plan for a decent sized foyer so everyone doesn’t walk over each other while trying to get inside during christmas.
We have a room in our house that I call the Parlor -- it serves as an Away Room, as well as an extension to the 8'x11' foyer *and* a mudroom (both my entry and my garage dump people into the foyer). It's a 10'x12' room, with IKEA Applaro benches (storage and regular) along the 10' window wall, hooks for hanging jackets that are out of sight from the entry, and enough space for a pair of chairs/chaise lounges with a table along the other 10' wall. High windows on the 12' wall provide a nice candle ledge, as well as extra space for shelves, art, hooks, whatever.
Laundry - even though you want a garage sink, a laundry sink is still a great idea.
Agreed. It's the one thing I wish my laundry room had. If it can't be worked in, then at least have the laundry adjacent to a bathroom.
Elevate your W&D on a short platform so you’re not bending over while using them.
With a steady stream of small children, I deliberately choose to forgo the platforms because it makes it easier for toddlers to help with laundry (I also can't store anything in those platforms, anyway, because the kids will get into it). My mom, however, loves her machines raised up. :-)
I hate stacked W&D’s personally.
Absolutely. I'm a bit over 5' tall, and I already need a step tool to comfortably empty my flat-on-the-floor top loading machine, lol. (And no, I won't go back to a front loader, now that I know what life is like with a Speed Queen.)
- 8 years ago
Consider having a sort of "bunk room" for the kids, with a large play area. Or small sleeping/dressing cubicles and a large play area.
PRO- PRO8 years ago
"...Consider having a sort of "bunk room" for the kids, with a large play area. Or small sleeping/dressing cubicles and a large play area...."
Here's one of the reasons there's no such thing as a "forever house".
A "bunk room" may be fine (and fun) for small children, up to a certain age. But once adolescence sets in (sometime around 8 years old for some children), separation and privacy become paramount. There's no more sharing among siblings.
So...design the house for your current situation and perhaps the next 5 years or so. After that there will be so many family changes that no one can anticipate them all.
8 years agoWell, one could argue that the bunk room may be equally handy for future grandchildren. But the transitional period might be awkward. :-)
B Mac
Original Author8 years agoI think most larger families (and we as well) don't plan on giving each child the privacy of his or her own room. We'll separate girls and boys, but bunk beds are the plan for teenagers as well. We have reasons that are more philosophical as well but from a practical stand point, a house with so many bedrooms isn't in the cards for most.
- 8 years ago
I think most larger families (and we as well) don't plan on giving each
child the privacy of his or her own room. We'll separate girls and boys,
but bunk beds are the plan for teenagers as well.I know different personalities desire different levels of privacy, which is why "introvert" (or "away") space is important -- both inside the house as well as outside -- and we're accounting for that. We just aren't doing it by allocating a bedroom for each family member.
That said, in my home, if a child needs some "me" time, whoever gets to the bedroom first gets to use it and shut others out for a brief time. Toys, games, books, and art supplies are in other rooms, so no one is being deprived of entertainment while the one kiddo locks himself in. If someone else needs to get away, they can use the master or another bedroom, go outside, go to the "away" room, or heck, even go into the laundry room. The only place they aren't allowed to go is the bathroom, because we only have 2 of those, and they obviously need to be available.
For a lot of families, if the teens tire of sharing a bedroom that badly, they'll have a huge incentive to be independent as soon as possible, getting jobs and educations/learning trades. If they truly hate sharing, they should probably steer clear of being a firefighter or joining the military, lol.
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
Possibly, ODD: "For a lot of families, if the teens tire of sharing a bedroom that badly, they'll have a huge incentive to be independent as soon as possible, getting jobs and educations/learning trades. If they truly hate sharing, they should probably steer clear of being a firefighter or joining the military, lol."
This doesn't always work out so cleanly. First hand I know of a family where they had 10 children, the first was a girl, the rest - several boys in a row every two years. Then a couple more girls. The oldest girl (my age and my best friend when I was in my teens) decided the only ONLY way she could get out of the situation was to get pregnant and marry her boyfriend at age 16. Yep, she was wrong, but... Don't expect things to work out the way you may want them to. Yeah, she got independent... but with HELL to pay.
(I only had one sibling, and my friend and I were both 16, so I could not provide useful advice...)
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoLocation, location, location. If you can, find a location with good safe bikeways that allow kids to ride to school, friends, ice cream shop, grocery, etc. Besides reducing or eliminating a parent run taxi service (and kids are thrilled to ride to the grocery for you), kids mature faster, do better in school, are healthier and are less likely to become overweight or obese.
We spend part of our year in Europe and part in the US. There is a very noticeable difference in US and EU kids. EU kids are generally calmer, more mature, more focused and less rambunctious. There's less need to plan a house around them. Some might find these interesting:
Personally I think the Dutch secret is hagelslag :-).
- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
This is why I suggest having at least 3 kid bedrooms. Boys, girls, and kid who can't share at that moment. Doesn't matter if the last room is 7x10.
You can also do the Victorian thing: night nursery for all kids under 12, girl room for 12+, boy room for 12+.
Having a 5th bedroom/flex room set up as a playroom also adds further flexibility. As the kids phase out of toys, they can be split up more.
- 8 years ago
This doesn't always work out so cleanly.
Oh, I know... That's why I said, "a lot of." :-D In my own family, all of the kids have special needs, and the very strong possibility exists that none of them may ever be independent.
Don't expect things to work out the way you may want them to.
I try to avoid expectations, in general. :-) Whoever the kids want to be, and whatever choices they make, will be what they will be. Truly insurmountable situations are quite rare, and as it goes, having a baby as a teen isn't *that* horrible in the grand scheme of things, in my opinion.
You can also do the Victorian thing: night nursery for all kids under 12, girl room for 12+, boy room for 12+.
This is actually very similar to what we do, adjusting for age/ability.
- 8 years ago
Truly insurmountable situations are quite rare, and as it goes, having a baby as a teen isn't *that* horrible in the grand scheme of things, in my opinion.
Nowadays, no it's not but back in the day when we were young teens, it was definitely something that you hid from everyone and then in most cases you wound up giving up the baby.
- 8 years ago
ODD, I agree: Don't expect things to work out the way you may want them to.
I try to avoid expectations, in general. :-) Whoever the kids want to be, and whatever choices they make, will be what they will be. Truly insurmountable situations are quite rare, and as it goes, having a baby as a teen isn't *that* horrible in the grand scheme of things, in my opinion.
Unfortunately it did not work out that way in the family I am referring to.
- 8 years ago
A number of years ago, I knew a mom of 12 or 13 who did 4 bedrooms. I didn't understand why ONE kid would have his or her own room--until I got it completely! In her case, the room was handed down as kids left home for college.
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoWe have already adopted a lot of this into our design. Big Don Aslett fans here, too. And yes, having a room that can be converted to an older kid bedroom is useful even when they share. In our case it’s going to be the LEGO room off the play area - it’s for big kid projects and things the littles shouldn’t be into, and I’ll convert it for the college student or two of the bunch down the road. Otherwise it’s three bunks per bedroom and a bathroom for each. Girls room, boys room, extra flex room, and if absolutely necessary, the guest bedroom/craft room/handicapped accessible extra master for our special little guy :)
We were thinking over space and privacy in the shared rooms and came to the decision that full beds over a desk and drawer area were the best choice, possibly with curtains rails around the top if they want to pull them for some privacy. Then there is a schoolwork area, personal drawer space, and a mini ‘room’ for the child while still living together. That’s how we made it work in the dorms and I think it was a good setup. It also means we don’t need absolute enormous closets since those are only for hanging dresses and out of season gear. If it comes time to sell it makes the room a lot more functional as a normal master suite and not some sort of freakish planned communal room.
YES to a bike loop in the yard, even if the yard is small. Perimeter tracks are SO useful. YES to a drinking fountain in the mud room (outside isn’t useful if your area freezes like ours does). YES to laundry by the bedrooms - we are doing one laundry area in the hall to the master suite, on the main floor, and another laundry area in the upstairs between the kid rooms. They’re many feet apart so two makes sense, and we can barely keep up on laundry with a single machine anyway.
Many more amens and agreements to the other list items. When the design is well planned and lives well for the family the square footage becomes less of an issue. I can exist in half the house if I have twice the storage ;)
And as another Speed Queen devotee, I cant recommend them highly enough!
PRO7 years agoA small three bedroom bungalow is great incentive for kids to get their own house that fulfills all the features mentioned above; no matter what size the family.
One Devoted Dame