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All my Chicks, gather around Mama's apron

mamapinky0
January 27, 2019

There's no way to say this other than outright. I'm dying. I have lung cancer. I chose to leave the hospital to come home and tell the kids but I have to return tomorrow but it may be tonight as the pain is not yet controlled.
My mother died from this in 08,
My sister lays in bed in NC now on hospice care with lung cancer.
I ignored symptoms too long, pains everywhere, no energy, ect...in my defense I didn't think cancer for a second. Once I'm readmitted the doctors will lay out their plans and goals for me. You can bet Mike is not pleased that I checked myself out of the hospital at 5.30 this morning. But I have to be the one to tell the boys, at home where they won't be quite so scared.
Larisa, please get word to Adam (Larsi) for me.Thank you. And please Larisa don't be mad at me, I just could not take from you at that time when I didn't absolutely need to.
I will continue visiting you all here as long as I'm able...The Laundry room always did have the best folks that visit Houzz.
I'll be back later. Thank you all my Chicks

Comments (150)

  • Annie Deighnaugh

    Letting you know I'm thinking of you and sending strength, courage, comfort and healing thoughts your way.

  • recordaras

    Mama I just saw this - please know that you are in our thoughts.

  • Elaine Ricci
    More get-well-soon mojo sent to you, Mama P.!
  • PRO
    Anglophilia

    Mama, I hope you were able to get to your appointment. Please take care of yourself.

  • PRO
    Anglophilia

    Mama, I hope you were able to get to your appointment. Please take care of yourself.

  • sealavender

    Yes, please do take care of yourself. Hugs sent your way.

  • enduring

    Warm Hugs to You!

  • venmar

    Mama P, I've been away on holiday while you have had this to deal with, big tight hugs to you and the family.

  • cooper8828

    I'm continuing to send healing thoughts your way. Big hugs!

  • armjim

    I hope by now the Antibiotics have begun to eradicate the pneumonia and that you feel ready to get started on your appointments. Praying you soon will have strength for the journey.

  • DawnInCal

    Hang in there, MamaP. You have lots of people rooting for you.

  • PRO
    Anglophilia

    I'm very concerned that we've heard nothing from MamaPinky. This is not good...

  • Annette Holbrook(z6b-7a)

    I was checking in as I was thinking the same thing.

  • mamapinky0

    I'm ok and I Thank you for thinking about me.

    I'm just sick of this cough from the pneumonia and sick of not having any energy. That being said my PCP and the lung doctor both of who I saw this week, PCP yesterday and lung doc this morning are both pleased that I've had no fevers since Friday...apparently they believe I'm healing from the pneumonia...finially. Lung doc will see me again next Thursday and as long as no more fevers will schedule my lung removal. I'm to work at letting my body heal...rest, good food, fluids, and short walks in my yard.

    I've had pneumonia a few times in the past year but wow I sure didn't feel this bad. I was scary sick.

    I have talked with a super nice lady with the cancer society. She told me there are lots of people that don't smoke yet get lung cancer.

    The boys haven't been told yet. It's been hard enough on them watching me battle pneumonia for a month. It's just not time to tell them.

    Anyway, Thank you for thinking about me. I'll do better at checking in here.

    (((HUGS)))

  • 2ManyDiversions

    Thank you for checking in MamaP. I've been watching this thread hoping like others to hear from you, but also like others understanding you've been ill, battling pneumonia.


    You may at this point be utterly tired of hearing stories about 'other people' so forgive me if this isn't helpful... DH just mentioned a gentleman at work who had one lung removed last year (also not a smoker, not that I care either way) and he is doing well, back to work (much of it's somewhat physical). My thoughts remain with you and yours : )

  • OutsidePlaying

    Big hugs to you Mamapinky. Have been thinking about you. I don’t normally venture over here but someone said you had posted so here I am. Wanted to wish you and your family all the best!

  • PRO
    Anglophilia

    SO glad to hear from you Mamapinky! And glad you're on the mend. After you heal and your doctor gives the OK, please do get BOTH pneumonia shots. They're not fool-proof but they do help prevent it.

  • greenshoekitty

    Glad to have the update, take care Mamapinky. Rember there are many of us who care, and wish you the best.

  • raee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio

    This pneumonia that is caused by a tumor blockage is how many lung cancers are discovered, and because of the obstruction can be hard to clear up and keep cleared up. I am hoping that the testing is completed and surgery is scheduled soon.

    Lung cancers are not all fatal these days; it depends on the type of cancer in there. I am praying that you will get good news in that respect.

  • hounds_x_two

    Keeping you in my prayers.


  • wekick

    Mama P, I was just checking on this forum and so sorry to hear this news. I will be praying for your healing now with the pneumonia, good discernment and skills from the doctors and your ultimate healing. Also praying for your family.

    Hugs


  • mamapinky0

    Thanks everyone! !!

    I'm doing ok. Nothing new to report except I'm back on steroids. I'll see the lung doctor Thursday and will know more than. This darn pneumonia has set me back.

    Raee... your right..the doctor told me that the mass compresses on blood vessels that would take the antibiotics to the infection making it harder to kill the bacteria.

    Anyway Thank you all for continuing to think of me.

    Anglo,,,I have a new apprication for how you and my Chip struggle to breath...it's soooo scary. I've also learned how hard it is to even do simple things I took for granted like making a bed...some days I'm just not able to breath and change sheets.

    Anglo and anyone else with pulmonary issues...God Bless You.

  • linus2003

    Thank you Mamap for checking in with us!

    We do worry and love hearing from you just to know how you are. We keep you in our thought and prayers that thursday will be a good day ❤️

    Lots of love for you and the family

    Björn

  • PRO
    Anglophilia

    Mama, thanks for your nice words. One quickly learns what must "have to" be done and what I would "prefer" to have done. I spread up the covers to make the bed neat, each morning, but unless I"m entertaining, I no longer make it - it's just too exhausting.

    I've learned to use that electric riding cart at the grocery store, or even better, order from Kroger using their "Click-List" - I order online and they bring them right to my car. I always do this when either my yardman or cleaning woman are here to carry them upstairs.

    Learn to use your limited energy for the things you really want to do. Let others help you with the rest. Your boys are old enough to be good helpers and you need to enlist their help.

    I've learned that humility is very important when one is in poor health. I'm never too "proud" to ask for help, it I need it.

  • zenhar24

    [zenhar hides his bottle of Tide Plus Coldwater Clean]


    Seriously MamaPinky, hope you make it, and that the treatment is as comfortable as possible.



  • hcbm

    Mama I have been thinking about you a lot. Please take care of yourself. Exhaustion is to be expected. Once you are well it will pass. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer at 89, had the surgery and lived several more happy and productive years till he had a fall. He worked in his profession till he died and the only bad part of the surgery was he wasn't allowed to drive anymore. We were grateful, he was a terrible driver his whole life.

    There are many good books for children to help them understand and cope with the illness and hospilaztion of a family member. I know your boys are advanced academically, but they are still emotionally young. Please let me know their ages and I'll see if I can find something appropriate for them. Sending hugs and good thoughts.

  • mamapinky0

    Hcbm, hi. Your father's story has given me hope...if God will grant me even just another couple years, no matter if it's with suffering I'll be accepting. At least the boys will be a little older and able to cope a little better. I will go to the library and hunt for books...Thank you my friend.

    Anyway...I'm being admitted to hospital for this pneumonia that won't respond fully to antibiotics. My PCP threatened to discharge me from her if I don't go...she wouldn't but she made me realize it's beyond healing at home. I will do as she wants. I'm to go to the er after 5 today where I'll be admitted. I'm told probably for 72 hours so I can receive IV antibiotics. I must do this so the monster growing can than be slain. I'll be ok. I'll have my phone to keep in contact here.

    Now as you know my sister is battling lung cancer...well actually not battling as when she found out she had stage 4, non small cell lung cancer she only had one chemo treatment and decided to have no more. She's been on hospice, bouncing from hospital to home for awhile now. She's so so sick at this point. I haven't seen her in 10 years although she's only a 7 hour drive in SC. Last week she told me how much she wishes I could come to her. My heart has cried hearing that. Anyway I don't think she will be much longer. Please my friends say a Prayer for her...her name is Robin. She's always been my golden girl.

    ((((HUGS))))

  • mamapinky0

    Hcbm, hi. Your father's story has given me hope...if God will grant me even just another couple years, no matter if it's with suffering I'll be accepting. At least the boys will be a little older and able to cope a little better. I will go to the library and hunt for books...Thank you my friend.

    Anyway...I'm being admitted to hospital for this pneumonia that won't respond fully to antibiotics. My PCP threatened to discharge me from her if I don't go...she wouldn't but she made me realize it's beyond healing at home. I will do as she wants. I'm to go to the er after 5 today where I'll be admitted. I'm told probably for 72 hours so I can receive IV antibiotics. I must do this so the monster growing can than be slain. I'll be ok. I'll have my phone to keep in contact here.

    Now as you know my sister is battling lung cancer...well actually not battling as when she found out she had stage 4, non small cell lung cancer she only had one chemo treatment and decided to have no more. She's been on hospice, bouncing from hospital to home for awhile now. She's so so sick at this point. I haven't seen her in 10 years although she's only a 7 hour drive in SC. Last week she told me how much she wishes I could come to her. My heart has cried hearing that. Anyway I don't think she will be much longer. Please my friends say a Prayer for her...her name is Robin. She's always been my golden girl.

    ((((HUGS))))

  • larecoltante Z6b NoVa

    Persistence, MamaPInky, persistence.

  • Cavimum

    mamap - I've been out of the country the past few weeks with limited , slow Internet service, so this is the first time in weeks I'm checking in. I will keep you in my prayers. (((Hugs)))

  • Elaine Ricci
    Oh, Mama P, so sorry about your sister Robin, as well as your own health challenges! Sending lots of good healing mojo to you and positive vibes for Robin, too!
  • mamapinky0

    Only have a few minutes as I have to lay down.

    Removing the lung is out...multiple masses in right lung, lymph nodes in chest and around but not in my heart. Staging discussion will be done next week after pet scan but doctor said it beyond stage 1 or 2.

    Another fever but low grade between 99 and 100. I have developed severe pain in right side of neck, bottom right teeth, going into right ear, and in right jaw. Worst pain EVER. Having another CT scan on that area.

    Chicks, I'm trying hard to stay positive...please keep me in your Prayers and thoughts.

    Boys don't know yet. Time isn't right yet but soon.

    (((((HUGS)))))

    Thank you all......

  • larecoltante Z6b NoVa

    (((Hugs))) and prayers are right there with you.

  • hcbm

    Oh Mama hugs being sent. I'm wishing you a relief from the pain immediately. Please make sure the doctors understand your pain, they can and should help you with that. Sometimes deep lamaze type breathing helps to release the pain, even if just momentarily. I also know that the pain patches have been useful for people in my family with severe chronic pain.

  • boba1

    MamaP, prayers in overdrive covering you for all sorts of perspectives!!!

  • chocolatesnap

    Healing Prayers and "Air" Hugs MamaP, for you and your family

  • armjim

    You are covered in prayers. When the pain is terrible and your faith is shaky, remember what Footsteps is about. That is when He carries you. You will be facing the fight with him and all of your friends.

  • anniesjacuzzi

    Hugs to you MamaP.... Sending positive energy to you and your family❤️

  • Elizabeth

    I hope you know how much you are loved here and that we are all storming the heavens with prayer for you.

  • SEA SEA

    I know you are scared. Try to keep your faith strong in all things good. I'm glad you haven't told the young ones yet. It's too heavy a burden for little ones just yet imo.


    hcbm mentioned pain patches. My father had stage 4 lung cancer and he too had extraordinary pain. He was prescribed patches for pain. He said they helped quite a bit. They were narcotic pain medicine. He was not happy with how they would fall off when he would get what he called 'the sweats' though. He said once they came off, they would not re-adhere. Just fyi. He also said they were very expensive and he was utilizing false economy at the time. I wouldn't want you to do that too. Relief from the pain is important to help you get through this time as you can lose spirit when dealing with extra pain. You need a respite. I hope your doctors are keeping your pain relief to an acceptable level so you are comfortable. Now is not the time to worry about developing a narcotic problem. Times like this is why we have them, and I think you qualify and deserve them, or whatever medicine it is that brings you relief.


    One thing my dad did that helped him a lot was to find something that brought him joy. For him, it was a small thing, going for walks. I know! Stage 4 cancer and he was going on walks! He liked the fresh air, seeing and feeling the warmth of the sun, or even the rain on him and finding the beauty in the little things he would find on his walks, like seeing birds or a flower or a tree sprouting it's buds, or kittens darting around. For him, that was magic and got him through the rough spells. Maybe you can find something that brings you joy and you can focus on that and let the tiny happiness come in and occupy your mind.


    armjim's reminder of Footsteps is brilliant. That right there is very powerful. I'm glad armjim brought that up. :)


    You have a lots of prayers sprinkled on you. I am glad you are feeling them. ((hugs))


    Sending you hugs and lots of feeling better.

  • PRO
    Anglophilia

    Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way, Mama.

  • Cavimum

    armjim - yes, thank you for reminding me of Footsteps in the Sand. Timely for me right now, too. #life

  • Moxie

    Oh, Mamap! ((((hugs))))

  • eaw 513
    MamaP, I just happened upon this post in Houzz and was intrigued by the title. After reading this I want to add my thoughts, prayers, and positive energy. I am a nurse who worked in clinical research for many years and now do freelance medical writing. I wanted to leave you with 2 resources in case you don’t have them:

    https://www.cancer.gov/types/lung. This is the NIH web page discussing lung cancers and their treatments. Once you know the type of cancer (small cell, non small cell, etc.) you can access the treatment PDQ for good, understandable treatment info.

    https://www.nccn.org/patients/. This is the National Comprehensive Cancer Network website patient side. I use the professional version of guidelines when writing (did a piece on NSCLC guidelines a year ago) but the patient version is great if you don’t have a medical background.

    I know it’s difficult to be hopeful but treatment is getting better all of the time and some of the newer monoclonal antibodies have had fantastic results (depending upon the type of lung ca).

    Wishing you all the best.
  • whirlpool_trainee

    ☆ Transatlantic hugs are on their way! ☆


    ♡♡

  • MizLizzie

    Thinking of you, Pinkie. Many hugs.

  • DawnInCal

    I'm sorry you are having such a tough time, MamaP. I hope your medical team is able to come up with a treatment plan that is successful and that rids you of the pain you are suffering. You are one tough cookie and I know you have it in you to put up a good fight and beat this monster. Hang in there and know that many are thinking of you and have your back. Kick cancer's a$$!

  • csevene
    Sending thoughts and prayers.
  • Pat z6 SEMich

    Tons of kisses and hugs sent your way, MamaP, every day.

    Pat

  • rockypointdog

    I try to pop into this conversation every so often to see how you are doing. We are sending our thoughts to you and your family and hope that you are feeling some relief from the pain today.

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