Honestly, I don’t see combining those styles but you should compromise. My husband used to like that style, but we now have a transitional home. I think it’s fine to say I don’t like that style at all, regardless of “quality” can we compromise into a style that reflects both of our tastes.

That’s my fear. We both have so much furniture we are trying to buy minimal furniture. I have a baker and hooker dining table, my SO has a large cherry mission set. Three nice tables, none of which we can both agree on.

I feel for you - I also dislike mission style and oak in general, and don't know how you can bridge the gap. Can you give him a room or two, say a basement and his office, and can he give you the rest? A designer might be able to help.

I’m so glad to see others don’t care for the style. No blending it with anything whether a person appreciates quality or not. Good luck.

" We are about to build a luxury home together"

Have you designed the house yet as that is going to somewhat drive the interior.

I don't like mission oak furniture either and would have a hard time trying to design around it.

I think you need to figure this out before you sign any paperwork for a custom build. If you are miles apart now ... it is only going to get worse as you try to design the house. Maybe you should rent a house together first and figure out how to combine your decorating styles first, before building a new place.

Look up modern mission.

Can you give him a room or two, say a basement and his office, and can he give you the rest?

Hahaha, oh that's too funny. DesignGirl, I really like you. I do. But that is too funny. Here, honey, you can have the basement and your office and stick your stickley stuff in there! LOL

I actually think it's good advice. Because if he doesn't agree, then just lock him in his office (or the basement).

I agree with remodeling1840 in finding a good interior designer BUT only if you both are willing to compromise, be open minded and acknowledge that many pieces that you both have and love won't make it into your new home and will be replaced with pieces that pull both your styles together. This is a new chapter in your life and your new home should reflect both of you as one but with a bit of both of your personalities shown here and there.

It may be a case where your "glam" style shows up in the upholstery/ soft goods and lighting where your partners ends up in the case goods. Something like this photo below. Though for your glam style I'd replace the pillows with glam/textured ones and add a lucite or metal table between the chairs and no oars on the wall!

Following for inspiration!

If you're building a luxury home sounds like you have the budget or should create a budget to buy all new furniture. Perhaps the exercise of shopping together will help you find your couples style (Bride Wars) rather than pitting mission against glam. Sell the furniture and put the proceeds towards new stuff. Sometimes when you're combining households something's gotta give; for me it was all my furniture and now we're stuck with his family antiques that I will never get to replace with current furniture. This is one of many battles you will have as a couple is this how you want to start a new home - under duress that neither of you like your furniture, someone's relegated to a basement or a back-office while they hate the rest of the space and you never go to those rooms because you hate the furniture? Tabla rasa

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><md>My husband and I have been together almost 40 years and built two houses together. Different taste in house design and interior decorating has been one of our toughest issues. You will both have to compromise and it will be very challenging. Get the best design help and therapist you can afford.

I believe the styles can be combined and the look can be 'modern mission', as stated earlier, or eclectic mission or modern eclectic mission. you can do this and you should have fun combining styles!! having a professional help will also be helpful too. I am showing a couple more inspiration pics for you to see how the two can be combined. there is one example where the house feels very open and airy because of the high ceilings, light wall color and has the stickley type heavier looking furniture. it doesnt look as heavy because of everything else in the room. another example is a living room with a very modern chandelier and lots of windows and a sleek buffet and counter but the table and chairs are more missiony. you both will need to compromise but the look will be specific to the two if you in the end. my husband inherited some antique furniture from his mother, like a French ornate curio cabinet, and we have it in our family room with more transitional furniture. we both love it with everything else in the room.

What is your personal style, you haven’t really said what it is? Do you already have furniture of your own? The oak furniture could go anywhere that is a bit more traditional, dining room, library, study, guest room, does it have to be either or?

Looked up transitional glamour, it looks basically like faux French style, tufting, mirrored cabinets, trellis patterns. Mission furniture was actually the modern look of the time, and really doesn’t look at home with fussy tufting, toile etc. Maybe there is a bridge style that is neither. Your glamorous style really suits a master bedroom, a beautiful en-suite bathroom, a dramatic dining room, not sure how it translates into kitchens etc.

What about a sort of country house look, that has some of the wood he likes with the upholstery and white furniture you like? Neither of your styles is modern.

https://www.housebeautiful.com/design-inspiration/g15926706/french-country-style/?slide=2

When DH and I were planning our new house (we'd just gotten married - 2nd time for each of us and we're older), we agreed that both of us had to like something or we wouldn't do or get it (house design, granite, brick, which pictures went on which walls - a bit of a standoff at times, etc. - not much new furniture since we're both frugal and were content to live with his and mostly my old stuff. But I did finally convince him that his antique Hoosier did not belong on the main floor - whew!, so it's the first thing you see when you get to the lower level.

There were a few things that I really wished we'd done differently and I think would have made the house look better, but I had to let them go or I'd have kept on being resentful which would have impacted our relationship. Some of his attitudes were left from his previous marriage, and when they caused too much of a problem, I insisted on both of us going to see a therapist we both knew, who was very good at getting him to see things differently. Not saying I'm perfect, but DH was in a dysfunctional marriage for a very long time.

Somewhere there's a list of which things are most stressful in life, and building a house is right near the top - after death and divorce, I think. So I hope you can figure out your furniture differences in a way that is acceptable to both of you, before you undertake the greater stress of building.

Anne

What we have here is a bit of a blend but luckily for us I guess, we both like vintage and modern styles, neither one of us are really into formal type furniture or household stuff, and if I wasn’t ok with wood I would be in trouble, he is a carpenter/woodworker lol. Maybe having no money for expensive decor has been a blessing. Sounds like the op and her hubby at least like more traditional looks.

A luxury home would likely have a full basement with a family room -- perhaps even an entire great room with mini-kitchen for entertaining?

You might consider having hubby decorate his mission style man cave downstairs in the basement and you decorate the more formal living area upstairs.

Add a bonus room downstairs that could be hubby's office or used as a guest room for in-laws or boomerang children.

Chuckling here only because you all seem to want to move hubby's mission to the basement and leave the wife's style on the main level. I'd do the reverse because this wife loves the clean lines of mission furniture. Have you considered using rich velvet cushions on the mission furniture? I'm sure an interior designer could find some balance.

I agree with @colonel115 ... I love mission style furniture, but also love a bit of luxury in fabrics (velvet, leather, etc). Cushions, throws, rugs, curtains, etc can add more softness, luxury, and warmth. That's kind of the direction I'm going in, to tie in my antiques with more luxurious fabrics. But, I suppose if you like more "bling" that could be harder to tie in with the mission style. I really love some of the examples given to blend antiques with modern pieces.

Or maybe go more deco, still has the wood, but also has chromed furniture etc.

Perhaps you both need to bend a bit. Eclectic is probably your best path.

How about this style that is not too masculine or too glammy?

Look at the interiors done by Ray Booth of McAlpine Architects.

https://www.mcalpinehouse.com/curative-homes/

He provided interiors for Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.

https://www.instagram.com/mcalpinehouse/

Sounds like you still need two houses...would your luxury budget allow for two homes? Your glam style could be for your main house and then you could have another close by vacation home with the mission furnishings for weekend living. That could allow for you both to appreciate each other’s styles, use all your furnishings, and keep you happy as a couple.

Difficult situation. You "hate" his favored furniture. His love of Mission pieces can be as strong as the furniture itself [nearly indestructible]. You both are starting this new house with diametrically opposed views. Care and caution are warranted.

Telling someone they must get rid of their favored furniture may be unfair. Has he asked you to get rid of somethings that you strongly favor? [Note the plural of "somethings".]

Two things that can help meld wood furniture with modern design: White; and open and airy.

White walls, tall ceilings [vaulted better]. Lots of windows and light. A good suggestion was made here to allow your modern glam to be showcased by upholstery choices and accessories [not to mention all the other furniture pieces].

Compromise defines a successful partnership. How many other pieces of furniture will the house hold other than the mission set? Whose choice are all those pieces? One set of vintage pieces does not a whole house make.

Personally, I find mixing styles creates a more comfortable environment than the strict "model home" designs of which you attest liking. Eclectic means allowing personality to shine through the boring and expected.

https://www.heytherehome.com/mixing-home-decor-styles-with-confidence/

https://freshome.com/mix-design-styles

You haven't mentioned the style of the house being built. I would think that would influence the direction on decorating. Also, once you move in with your current pieces, you may not like them as much in the new space. I loved my decor in my old house, but it never really worked in my new one, and I've slowly replaced much of my furniture. Wouldn't it be great if all partners didn't care about decorating?!

Azelizabeth? i think you sound a little spoiled and bratty. Consider yourself darn lucky to have the resources to build a “luxury home” — whatever that means. Maybe if you ratcheted down your vitriol for Stickley a bit, you could soften the whole argument and make the process less contentious. Otherwise, neither of you will end up happy.. For starters, this will be a house that belongs to both of you. To share. Consider that notion every time you dis your S.O.’s furniture. Sounds like he’s dug in his heels, too. You have gotten some very good advice previously, so please act on it and hire an architect (my advice!), an interior designer, (both of whom must know and care about lighting) and have a therapist at the ready. Work as a team from the get go and you may be successful. I am going to be a bit catty here, so forgive me. “Clean transitional glam“ is not a style. It’s an attitude and you have plenty of that. Work on your own definition of style. Baker never made a glam piece of furniture. Elegant, maybe. Traditional, well, for sure. Hooker? No glam there, either, ever! So what do you mean? At least cherry Craftsman furniture reflects a genuine ideal. An ideal that was a revolt against the cluttered, over the top frou frou of the gilded royal households of Napoleon and Victoria that preceded it. Talk about “clean.” Stripped of almost any ornamentation, craftsman furnishings offered some fresh air to otherwise stuffy houses filled with feathers and flourishes, clearly feminine I might add. I am not partial to Stickley, either, but if your S.O. has carefully vetted every one of his purchases and has a credible collection of this style, he at least deserves kudos for sticking to something genuine. A well-placed piece of Stickley can add authenticity to your interior. You, on the other hand are part of the “Magazine School“of decorating — following trends, not setting them. You are showing off and with no genuine sensitivity to design. The backgrounds in your new home, the wall colors, finishes on the cabinetry, the flooring, lighting and dimensions and space planning will set the tone, not the other way around. You are a brand shopper. That’s your choice. If you also collect furniture and art with an eye for the best of an era, maybe that can work, but consider this; without sensible choices, you might end up with something that looks like ”the hair of many hobos,” (as a very excellent designer friend of mine would say.) And that look will not be clean or glam, but it will be transitional, somewhere between 1970 and 2020. Certainly you do not want or need to live in a museum of one or another style. You can mix, but not match, but it sounds like you absolutely will need professional help. A very wise person told me planning should take longer than building. If you plan well, everything should go smoothly while building your future. Good luck.

I am kind of cringing at the advice of stuffing the husband into an office or basement, and have his style showcased there. He lives in the house and helps pay for the house and bills, so is he not entitled to actually enjoy the entire house? You need to hire an interior designer who is also a good mediator, you need to both be open to accepting compromise. Resentment will build up fast, and I would not imagine the relationship would survive, what is most important, the furniture or the relationship?????

I do hope the dear husband never reads this column. Mission Furniture evokes the modern furniture of its time and it is high quality. I don't know what Clean Transitional Glam is so am at a loss there. Dissing your husband's taste and interest seems like a tough way to start a major project. There is a lot of great advice in the comments above about blending styles. My husband and I did major renovations on two houses. It is a stressful process even if you are on the same page. Good luck.

Hi there AZ- Elizabeth!

Whew! I've been reading these comments all afternoon and while I feel the lengthy comment by Z---- was inappropriate for this kind of forum, I really think there is a little bit more going on than combining two styles, but I will keep those comments to myself .

If you are indeed building a luxury home, you'll have lots of space.

When my husband and I got married he had a great Victorian home with the huge windows, lush window treatments, long draperies, ornate, over-sized furniture, oriental rugs etc.

I on the other hand had been brought up with the clean lines of early American and Colonial furniture with graceful lines, less excess and braided rugs. This was also how my condo was furnished.

We couldn't afford or did we need a luxury home, but bought a beautiful Williamsburg Cape Cod that had once belonged to one of our college profs. In fact my husband found it.

We both down-sized a bit as we were combining 2 residences into one.

As others have said above, you can combine styles tastefully.

A relationship, whether you're getting married or keeping things loose takes a lot of work, compromise and biting your tongue.

My husband got rid of his gaudy couch after 3 years, in favor of a cleaner style, but we vacation in a grand Victorian B&B in Cape May and I love it He has also learned to stop ordering his filets "burnt and well done" in favor of "medium well". But I bite my tongue with his old family print of "The Last Supper" with no matting and a dirty frame that hangs in the dining room.

It is truly cringe-worthy.

So AZ Elizabeth, is this about a designer luxury house that looks like a model home or about making and sharing a home with someone you love?

Please take your time, it's not easy, but it's sooo worth it.

Not a pro.

I personally prefer the Mission Furniture -- sturdy with clean lines are easier to clean that gaudy stuff -- and it is a timeless look.

If the basement is a full daylight basement on the sunny side of the house with a full great room and a shelter as an outdoor living room for indoor/outdoor living beside a pool (as "luxury home suggests to me is likely), getting to style the basement would be my preference as well.

Any "glam" look is a fad that will date your home -- and "glam" is also usually considered a bit snobby/pretentious ... does that describe you? Perhaps if you post inspiration pics, the Houzz pros could give you some style guidance.

If you cannot agree that one of you decorates the formal living room and the other decorates the den, the decorate two home idea someone suggested -- weekday home and weekend/vacation home idea -- is well worth considering, even if it means neither home is a "luxury home".

some really nice suggestions here ... we have some mission and more victorian oak antiques combined with contemporary upholstered pieces in our vacation house. inherited the Morris chairs from Mom. She had the cushions covered in a mid tone velvet ... not pink, not coral, (kind of rust color?) and we've kept them that way. They don't look feminine. Found an oriental style rug with that color and it all looks nice with brown tones ... wainscoting, trim, sofa, checked curtains. yeah, checked curtains ... pale brown and white ... the brown is in the rug and the scale of the patterns seem to coordinate, to me, lol.