artemis_ma

How Many of Us Live Alone?

artemis_ma
6 days ago

I mean ALONE from other human beings - no spouses or significant others, or friends who moved in for the duration.


I'm an introvert so I can handle some of this better than some extroverts... but... But I'd like to know who here is doing this on their ownsome, and what they do.


Comments (42)

  • dedtired
    6 days ago

    I live alone but I’ve never had so many people to talk to as I do now. All my neighbors who are usually at work are home so we are always chit chatting. My bored friends call all the time. When I go for a walk I see people I havent seen in years. I can’t wait for people to go back to work and school and give me some peace and quiet.

    artemis_ma thanked dedtired
  • graywings123
    6 days ago

    I am a onesome. I am retired, so home alone all day isn't something new for me.

    There is no reason I should be less productive these days, but I sense I am. I am rehabbing an old house (minor stuff) and my projects are just dragging out. I'm doing some daytime TV watching, which I normally don't do. I watched Contagion yesterday.

    I don't feel socially deprived. The houses in my neighborhood are close together, so I talk with the neighbors. I talk with family and friends by phone. I miss meeting up with a friend or two for dinner out. And I miss the public events that happen in the spring. But compared to what others are going through, my life is a breeze.

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  • samkarenorkaren
    6 days ago

    I've been alone for 7 years since hubby and I split up.

    I keep to myself mostly but have 2 neighbors I talk to. I've never had the need to be with people so I'm ok being alone.

    Sadly though, when I was young a neighbor said to me "you are such a bother". That stuck with me and I hate to bother people. So I'm not very good joining conversations with others


    SamKaren Your resident dj

  • OklaMoni
    6 days ago
    last modified: 6 days ago

    graywings said:

    I don't feel socially deprived. The houses in my neighborhood are
    close together, so I talk with the neighbors. I talk with family and
    friends by phone. I miss meeting up with a friend or two for dinner out.
    And I miss the public events that happen in the spring. But compared
    to what others are going through, my life is a breeze.I


    Me too. I live alone. It's my life. But I used to go and meet friends, and have friends over. I miss that.

    But I can keep busy on my own.

    I am ok.

    Moni

  • chisue
    6 days ago
    last modified: 6 days ago

    Someday either DH or I will live alone, and it will be a terrible adjustment after 55 years. I've often thought how just plain *inconvenient* it is not to have another person around to do mundane stuff -- like checking your back for a tick or holding the other end of something -- let alone for companionship!

  • PRO
    4Heidesign
    6 days ago

    I have been alone for the last three years since my husband died. I moved back to my hometown, from south to north, and am happy to have done so. My state’s severe lockdown was difficult at first, but I was accustomed to being alone so the restrictions felt less confining with time. I do miss the weekly get togethers with other single friends, however, but have plenty to do to keep myself busy. All my adult children and grandchildren are down south, so we keep have always had to keep in daily/weekly touch by telephone, anyway.

  • pricklypearcactus
    6 days ago

    My husband moved to another state thousands of miles away for work in January so I am currently living through this alone. We anticipated him being in the other state for 6-8 months (and I mentally prepared in case it was up too 12 months). Now we honestly do not know when he will be able to return home. My friends and family know, but I haven't felt comfortable sharing what feels like such a personal thing with my co-workers. We tend to keep to ourselves so I really only wave to the neighbors in passing. Good thing I have a high maintenance dog to keep me company. My poor husband is alone without even a dog to keep him company, but he is in an essential business so he has continued going to work (although with significantly reduced hours).

  • Kitchenwitch111
    6 days ago

    I've lived alone since my husband died 9 years ago. I'm very glad to have my dog through this but I have also been getting together with people in a responsible way. Weather permitting I might meet up with anther single friend to walk our dogs or have an outdoor happy hour -- we are all isolating in our own homes and stay physically distant so I don't see that as risky. My boyfriend lives in another city and when he was still working I did not see him but now he is laid off and isolating also so now he can visit. My sister and her husband or my adult children come over sometimes and we have lunch or dinner outside while keeping our distance. All of these people are not out in the general public except a grocery store just like me so we are all living by the same rules. Many people in my area will be going back to work very soon so a lot of this personal isolation will be going away. I won't be comfortable being in crowds like restaurants and stores for a while, but I have started to expand my social sphere while so far still staying outdoors. Not sick yet!

  • Funkyart
    6 days ago

    I also live alone.. and while quarantine has me at home almost constantly where before I went to work, out with friends, etc, I don't mind at all. In fact, I really like it. I am not sure I will ever want to return to working in the office.

    I am not exactly anti-social but I do value my time alone and have no issue entertaining myself. Since my father died a little over two weeks ago, I haven't even wanted to talk to or see friends-- my bff has proposed getting together in a socially responsible way (her very large, Creekside backyard with Adirondack chairs strategically placed) but I am just not up to spending time with anyone other than family. I know she's taking the loss of my dad hard (we've been friends since our tween years) and I know she wants to talk and reminisce, but I am just not ready to do that with others.


    I have gathered with family a few times-- breaking the rules, yes-- but I can't imagine getting through the death of my father without my family. And I can't imagine my mom managing without the support of us kids.


    I am just looking forward to my busy work schedule easing up a bit so that I can work in the yard, bake, paint-- all the things others who have been in quarantine are tired of!!



  • Jasdip
    6 days ago
    last modified: 6 days ago

    I'm alone as of the past year and a half. It has to be the hardest thing I've had to do in my life, and I've had some tough situations.

    We truly loved each other's company and were best friends. I still think I'll 'ask him' or wait to do it with him, etc etc. I have to clean the windows soon, and it's not easy doing it alone, they're heavy to take out.

    I'll talk to anyone when I'm out and about ---especially if you have a dog! but have very few friends. I work from home which I like as there are days where I don't even want to see someone.

    Right now I'm having more issues with my favourite tenant in the basement, and she's proving more and more why I'd never work in a female environment. She's just a prissy busy-body. I've always worked in male-dominated fields.

  • gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
    6 days ago

    I live alone. And have for going on 20 years since my divorce. I actually prefer it :-) It is a very calm, peaceful environment with zero conflict and no one expecting me to do anything other than what I want and to my own timetable. I have found I can be very self reliant and there have been few occurrences I could not manage by myself or easily hire out if necessary.

    I don't have a big social life since I retired so not really missing much right now. I have some family living close by and keep in close touch with longtime friends that live more distantly, although I don't get to see them often. And I have the dog, who is the best possible company I could ask for!! A nearly ideal roommate:-))

  • Lucille
    6 days ago

    I have a chihuahua and a kitty so I am not alone:)

  • glenda_al
    6 days ago

    I'm a social person. Being alone during the quarantine is not my cup of tea. Miss my friends. BUT I'm doing quite well, considering. Did go out today, to deposit my stimulus check and get a chick fil a.

  • artemis_ma
    6 days ago

    Currently , two cats, 7 quail, 3 roosters (one scheduled for the freezer as he has no manners I want to associate with). 11 hens.

    The thing about the critters is they don't converse well. Okay, neither do some humans. I live rurally, and the house next to me is only occupied during a few weekends in the summer, and the guy across from me commutes to his essential job leaving at 5 am and returning around 7 pm - but he is around on weekends. He got home early today for the long weekend, so we did get to chat.

    I do talk to folk on the phone, and some others prefer to text - I LOATHE texting, personally, unless it's a quick update...

    I've done a very few Zoom "zoominars". Yes I know ZOOM is not the safest thing around but here one can actually TALK.

    I'll have more companions in June. 15 baby chicks on order. I want to raise Plymouth barred rock hens as a breed, as the rooster I have from that lineage is a decent dude both to humans and his ladies.

  • artemis_ma
    6 days ago

    Oh, I forgot... altogether too too too many TICKS. Found one last night scurrying behind my ear...

  • Kathsgrdn
    6 days ago
    last modified: 6 days ago

    Alone too, except for my two dogs. I did spend the day with my daughter and her girlfriend. We both had car repairs and she brings hers' to my car repair guy who is the father of one of her best friends. We spent today driving around Frankfort, looking at the Capital building, the governor's mansion, old buildings downtown, went to the river walk and walked a bit. The Kentucky river is really high due to all the rain, high and muddy.

    I do miss going out with friends every so often. I saw one of my friends last week, I wore a mask and we were out in my yard looking at the gardens. She came over to give me some microgreens and radishes from her garden and I gave her some books to read. It was nice seeing her. Her husband has COPD so we stayed a fair distance apart.

  • phoggie
    6 days ago

    I am alone...my late husband passed in 2011.

  • joann_fl
    6 days ago

    I've been alone since 2011 also. My son & his family live next door but I don't see them very much at all. I work but I'm mostly by myself. I don't have many friends so It's just me if I do anything. Not loving it.

  • maifleur03
    6 days ago

    With 5 cats I am never alone unless they are all outside. I prefer it that way.

  • marylmi
    6 days ago

    My husband passed away in 2010 so I have been alone since then. I visit friends and my brother by phone and keep in touch by Facebook . What I miss most through all this is not being able to browse in stores. I get my groceries and anything else I need quickly and it's back home! Hopefully it won't be too long until I can meet friends for dinner. Music concerts, etc. Until then though, I'm doing ok. :)

  • jakabedy
    6 days ago

    I live alone with my two dogs. I've been divorced for 1.5 years. I'm quite introverted and was single until I was 37: I'm accustomed to and enjoy my own company (I also had years of training as an only child). I'm working full-time from home, so I have plenty of Zoom meetings that allow me to interact with work colleagues. I've also gotten more active during this time by taking almost daily evening walks with the dogs. I see folks I know and we chat across the road. My best friends live very far away and I don't have any family or close friends nearby. Right now, that's helpful, as I'm not "missing" in-person contact .

    I play in a community band and had just taken up improv when everything shut down. I do miss those activities and am looking forward to getting back to them. I also miss going to my favorite local restaurant to eat, surf the 'net and just "be alone among people."

    On the bright side, I've fixed almost every little broken or dingy thing in my house and the place has never been cleaner.

  • PRO
    Anglophilia
    6 days ago

    My husband died nearly 15 years ago. I have lived alone until late Jan when I became ill. I now have caregivers from 8am til 11pm daily. I am alone all night. I also have two dogs.

  • jemdandy
    6 days ago
    last modified: 6 days ago

    From age 18 through 24, I lived alone while working my way though college. I had contact with my peers when working, and the remainder of the time, my head was buried in textbooks. There was little time to think about loneliness, although occasional, I did feel loneliness. Three months after graduation, I married and have never been alone since. This fall, we will celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary. I wonder if our kids will remember. They forgot all the other anniversaries.

  • Texas_Gem
    6 days ago

    I feel bad for those of you who are going through this alone.

    Even though I am an introvert and always have been, I've been "weathering" this pandemic with my husband and 4 school age children.

    I can only imagine what it would be like if I were truly alone.


    During this time, I have sometimes wished for the solitude I used to get, pre-pandemic when everyone was at school or work, now I'm never alone.


    Reminds me of the phrase, "the grass is always greener on the other side"

    Here I am wishing for a return to normalcy so I CAN have some alone time and those that are alone are wishing for a return to normalcy where they can see others.


    It's a rough time for everyone!!


  • laceyvail 6A, WV
    6 days ago

    I live alone and have for many years. I have only one cat now. I live in the country with large gardens, vegetable and ornamental, so spring is a VERY busy time for me. I see friends outside when they come for plants or veggies, and sometimes we sit on the screened back porch. I'm perfectly happy with my own company, but I do miss gatherings and parties and going out to eat occasionally and having someone over for dinner. And I miss seeing my son and his family who live about 1 hrs away. My grandson has CF so they are extremely careful.

  • Marilyn_Sue
    6 days ago

    I love being alone. I have Izzi, my kids call all the time and some come over very often. I don't live that far from 3 of them, the other lives in another state but we all keep in touch. My children are very helpful. Had a picnic on the porch yesterday. Today, they are coming over so not sure what they have in mind. I am very appreciative. I don't mind staying home at all. I have plenty to do.

    Sue and Izzi Too

  • aktillery9
    5 days ago

    I live alone, with three cats. I got a divorce a 1.5 years ago. I had a boyfriend for a while but we broke up right before the pandemic (I realized he was a nice guy but not a good guy). I had no job and was scared and lost. Both my parents have passed and so has the rest of my family. I love being alone, but being forced to is sort of another story. I do enjoy my own company and can go for days on end without seeing anyone... no problem. I was an only child so that definitely prepared me.


    Good news is I got a great job that I interviewed for right as the stay at home orders were put in place! I get to go into work if I want to or stay home and work as well. It has helped me tremendously. The people with whom I work are fabulous and now I feel like I am contributing to society again. Plus, I obviously am glad for the paychecks. ;)

    Amy

  • eld6161
    5 days ago

    Amy, that’s terrific. So glad for you.

  • Olychick
    5 days ago

    Amy, that is really great news to read. Glad you found a job you love.

  • Arapaho-Rd
    5 days ago

    So happy for you Amy!

  • yeonassky
    5 days ago

    So glad you have found a good fit job wise Amy. What great timing that was!

  • Lucille
    5 days ago

    Amy you are awesome!!

    I feel bad for those of you who are going through this alone.

    People are different. My concept of Hell is an endless cocktail party with lots of people. I'm comfortable just as I am (With the dog and the cat. And the fish. And the aquarium frog. And the houseplants.)

  • aktillery9
    yesterday

    You guys are so sweet. Thanks for the constant encouragement. Did not mean to detour the thread.. sorry about that.


    Lucille, that would be my hell too. I always have to be able to leave something like that the minute I am overloaded!

  • aktillery9
    yesterday

    Jakabedy,

    We seem to have a great deal in common. That is so great you play in a band. How fun!

    Now if I could add some exercise and cleaning to my routine I could really say we have a lot in common!

  • satine100
    yesterday

    Im alone and I hate it. Im eating enough for two, napping half the day, and don't move out of my recliner. Im sick and tired of this and am feeling quite depressed.

  • yeonassky
    yesterday
    last modified: yesterday

    So sorry that you're feeling so bad Satine. My sister is like that. She has trouble with depression without the stimulation of other people. That's why we can't leave her alone. I hope you find a way to ease your sadness.

    Maybe you could try one new thing to jumpstart your energy. For my sister we got her the Sirius radio satellite system. She listens to the music and talk shows as when she is down she can't concentrate on a book or even Netflix. But listening takes her away from herself for a while. Best wishes.

  • aktillery9
    yesterday

    Satine,

    I was you not long ago. I really thought i was loosing all my sense of reality and sanity. I was in a deep dark hole. I was terrified I would never get out.

    For me, finding a job was all it took to feel better. I think because I feel I am contributing something helps relieve my depression and anxiety and I have a purpose everyday.


    I am not sure what that might be for you. I hope you can find something. I think it helps to take your mind off of yourself whenever possible.


    Feel free to message me! I know all too well how you are feeling.

    We are all here for you.

  • Alisande
    21 hours ago
    last modified: 21 hours ago

    Funkyart, I'm sorry you lost your dad.

    I'm a widow who has lived alone for 19 years. I live on an old farm, and for most of our time here we had no visible neighbors--which was idyllic until I found myself alone. Then I felt rather vulnerable. But 9 years ago my son and his wife had a house built across the road from me, and one by one added three little boys. That's been wonderful.

    No one would ever confuse me with an introvert, but I do have a side that craves solitude and loves to be home. I look forward to social gatherings, but I'm usually the first to leave--unless we're making music, the ultimate social connection.

    So for the past almost three months I've been isolating with my son and his family, and while I haven't seen a great deal of them he stops in every day and the boys come in and out. But starting next week that will change when my son returns to the office. I've been dreading it. Last fall when I had shingles I couldn't go near any of them because my DIL was pregnant. That was hard. This will be hard too.

    As for living along in general, everything's a trade-off. I love the freedom that living alone affords me, and I've rejected every opportunity to "meet someone." But there are times when, as Chisue pointed out, it would be convenient to have someone to turn to for help with mundane things, and good to have someone to give me a hug when I need it. I miss touch. Oh, and it would be lovely to have someone to watch Jeopardy with. LOL

    I mentioned on another thread that I talk to no one most days. I may try to do something about that, but I tend to gravitate to my own company. I can't say that i'm ever bored. Still, it's not good to spend too much time in one's own head. I don't have much of a TV habit, so I've been thinking I should use it more often for escape. I'm a reader, but in quarantine my concentration hasn't been good. Thanks to the KT, I've discovered Longmire on Netflix, and watch one episode every day. Oh, and I brought my two outside cats indoors permanently, and we chat a lot. Believe me, it's not one-sided. Rocky is very vocal!

  • pamghatten
    20 hours ago

    I live with my 3 dogs, never married, no kids and I am quite happy this way. No need for anyone to feel sorry for the way I live. I can happily putter in my gardens, read my books, etc. and live how I want. I am still working full time from home, essential bank worker. I've always loved to be a homebody.

  • 3katz4me
    18 hours ago

    Amy - so happy to hear you got a new job and are doing well - yay!!

  • sjerin
    15 hours ago
    last modified: 15 hours ago

    Satire, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. I’m a people-person and though I live with my dh, I miss chats and occasional lunches with girlfriends. When I’m depressed like this, I don’t feel like doing a darned thing. One of my dds suggested volunteering to read a book aloud (on tape,) for the blind. Might you be able to do something like that?

  • littlebug zone 5 Missouri
    13 hours ago

    Me too, Lucille. I live with my spouse, an extrovert, who LIVES for social events with people, noise, food, and drink. I dread them and I've finally reached the age where I tell DH to go and have a good time because I don't WANT to go. When he gets home, he reports that he saw so-and-so who asks where littlebug is. I don't know what he tells so-and-so about my absence, and I don't care.


    Stay-at-home orders haven't bothered me, except when DH doesn't leave the house at all.


    I was the oldest of 6 kids, with two families of cousins living nearby (8 more kids). I was the oldest of all and the mothers counted on me to keep an eye on all of them. I think that may be part of my introvert-ness today.