Who wants to save me from killing my Aloe? :D

Amanda G.
last month

This is probably a stupid question and I acknowledge such. Please humor me.

I've heard that wiping your houseplants' leaves down with mayonnaise can make them look shinier and healthy. Because I heard it on the internet, I'm double-checking because the internet gave us "rare chicken breasts" and "microwave-charged cellphones." I've spent too many years spoiling my aloes to risk death-by-mayo without checking it out. (For the record, Aloe Right just birthed her first pup today - a real knockout at five inches long before removal!)

So. We've all had the science lessons - plants exchange air through pores and such in the leaves, etc, etc - but what about succulents? The leaves on my plants are long, gracefully curved, and a lovely green, but the waxy surface of the leaves makes them look faded and dirty. Yes, I can wipe the leaves down with a damp cloth to remove dust, but I'd rather do that as infrequently as possible. My babies are fully grown and their spines have made me bleed. (Sadly, neither grew fifteen feet tall afterward, but at least that means they won't demand I butcher a neighbor in exchange for fame. I'm poor and I have rude neighbors. It'd be very tempting.)

This leaves me wondering. Has anyone been bored enough to dress their succulents with mayo? If so, did the plants survive? Furthermore, what are the odds adult aloes will survive a very light waxing with the dreaded Boomer-paste?

I'll do nothing until I hear from y'all; your advice is much appreciated.

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