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Am I wrong not wanting to attend my step son’s birthday?

4 years ago

I got married to my husband a year ago (dated briefly for 6 months and then got married). He’s been the most humble, loving and supportive person ever. He has a son from his first marriage almost 10 now. He lives with his Grandparents ( Hubby’s parents) as the first wife left the new born when he was 2 weeks and hubby was very young (21) then, so his parents took the responsibility of the newborn and he moved on with his life pursuing his education and career. He goes to his parents to visit him every week or so but the SS has never lived with us since I have known him and got married.

Since I got married, no one has introduced me to him as a step son. I don’t blame the little kid, but his family or my husband has never introduced me to him like a son or even my husband’s son. And When i go visit my in- laws on certain occasions, I greet who ever I see but not specifically say hi and chat with him. I feel like I am a stranger at my in-laws sitting at a corner. My in-laws are nice people too.

But obviously, SS is the apple of the family’s eye and this weekend is his birthday, I really don’t wanna go. Not because I have a problem with the poor child, just because I feel a bit left out when they all are together. I always feel upset whenever I go there because of their behaviour over all ( not that anyone has said anything to me) but sometimes feelings are enough than words said.


Shall I say all this to my husband? Or just make an excuse? Help a girl please !!!!


Comments (3)

  • 4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    I am a step-mom of a now-26 year old, whom I "got" at 8 years old and was also abandoned by his mother (but raised by his father), and I say go to the party, but DEFINITELY talk with your husband about it first and let him know how you feel. He needs to step up here and stick by you a little more during the get together. Stop being a bystander with this family you willingly married into - interact with them and you just might find you enjoy their company. Even if you don't enjoy their company, unless something really egregious happens, you really should attend the big events. (I always attend holidays, birthdays, the random visit, etc., but don't go every visit time my husband does.)

    On the matter of this child being introduced specifically as DH's son, I'm sure they all assume that it's understood. I mean, you know he is DH's son, and they all know you know, correct?

    It's super hard - I know that first hand - but you married into the situation and I think you need to make more of an effort.

    HU-125969909 thanked Bluebell66
  • 4 years ago

    Thanks for taking your time to reply x

  • 4 years ago

    I agree that you need to talk with your husband about the whole situation. It is incredibly rude of him and his family to not introduce you properly to his son, and not to include you in their conversations.

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