You do you! don't worry about what other people think of your choices, if you love it or think its a good move,idea, choice, fashion choice, then go for it!

so many good ones!

“The world is filled with nice people. If you can’t find one, be one.”

eta And “keep your stick on the ice“, but I’ve tried to live by that one for years.

" I'm sure Elmer will come along soon and let me know how wrong I was/am "

No admonition seems necessary. You seem to realize that dumb luck and inadvertent guesses can produce choices that can sometimes be right though usually wrong.

The book of "Consistently Successful Market Timers" has as few pages as the book "Long-lived Russian Roulette Competitors". Beliefs and facts are usually not reconcilable, you're welcome to your beliefs.

Yep Elmer, absolutely 100% dumb luck and inadvertent guesses. Never mind what the consensus of analysts on CNBC were predicting at this time last year.

I'll be laughing all the way to the bank.

Let’s stick to the topic and not get into a squabble, please. I’d rather ring in the new year on a high note. Anyone who wants to have a different discussion is welcome to start another thread. Thanks.

Good for you LoneJack. While I received it long ago I was told most people take their RMDs either at the start or end of a year. It almost always reduces the value of each share that you have in that type of account. While you are not at the time where you must take RMDs and things keep changing you might want to tuck that into your planning.

For those who are not aware and it does not apply to all retirement accounts but most have shares. When the financial markets go up and down so do the value of those shares.

Sorry dedtired. I'll refrain from posting again.

Lonejack, i did not mean to single you out and I hope you did not take my comment to be pointed at you. You are one of our regulars and I enjoy your input. It seems that two of my recent threads have gone completely off off the rails and became unpleasant, and frankly nasty at times. I was just hoping for some wisdom or new insights here and not potshots at each other.

”off the rails” I see what you did there ded !🤠

. You are one of our regulars and I enjoy your input.

That goes for me too. Don't stop posting please.

Best advice...2022

I received this advice prior to 2022, but it is still wonderful advice and has saved me from much aggravation: "Just because someone throws the ball, you don't have to catch it."

OHIO - Only Handle IT Once. It seems almost comical to me that I'm almost 60 and am just learning this organizational strategy (my previous strategy was pretty much none existent). However, I've also learned that OHIO is useless unless done in tandem with "create a place for everything". Ie, you can't put things away in the right place, right away if there is no "right place".

And both of these go hand in hand with the other advice I rec'd which is along the lines of "there's no time like the present". I've signed up for a woodworking class. Something I've always wanted to do, but didn't know where/how and then for a moment thought I was now too old. Hopefully, I won't lose any limbs, will end up with a new bookcase, and enough knowledge to use the many power tools gathering dust in the basement.

Therapist helped me understand that I was a "benevolent observer" for my mother's death. I had a hangup with all deaths, thinking I contributed to it, caused it somehow. Which I knew was screwy, but not until she said that, could I shake the feeling.

Therapist has been telling me forever to change my inner dialogue. We all know we're so much harder on ourselves than we are on other people, the things we say to ourselves matter. She didn't tell me this but this is what has helped me when I feel the worst "I am a good person, who has bad habits, and habits can be changed". This is a dialogue I came up with this year. It keeps me from being too hard on myself.

Lonejack, i did not mean to single you out and I hope you did not take my comment to be pointed at you

That goes for me too. Don't stop posting please.

Thank you both for the kind words! I didn't mean I'd stop posting altogether. I just meant on this thread. I guess I lied about that since here I am again.

Roxsol - right about now I think I would like to be 'off the rails'. This merger is killing me. Here I was minding my own business, trying to coast until retirement in a couple years. That ain't what's happening!

Same every year......even Journey says, "Don't Stop Believing".

Lonejack, stick around! Lucillle offered me the advice about not having to catch the ball and I do try to remember that, though sometimes it’s so tempting to want to win the game. Someone else suggested that you can’t reason with unreasonable people, which was also great advice that I try to remember. I also try to remember that there are mental illnesses and personality disorders at play, as is suggested from time to time when dealing with difficult people. I strive to be more generous in considering that.

Hang in there, Lonejack!

Before you know it, you’ll be fishing and relaxing and when you hear that lonely whistle blowing across some lake you can just smile and say

”That’s my pension.“

" I also try to remember that there are mental illnesses and personality disorders at play, "

I've encountered both and more with some here over time. Also unfortunately some narrowmindedness and irrational biases.

Thanks Rox! I'm not going anywhere as long as they keep dangling retention bonuses in front of me. At least not before I turn 62 and become eligible for RR retirement anyway. They better not try to pay me in loonies though ;-p

I guess my advice for myself right now is keep on railin'

Garden pictures · More Info

LoneJack Zn 6a, KC That pic made me smile. Back in the early 70s when we were in our early 20's DH had that that T shirt.

My advice to myself this year has been never miss a chance to say nothing. So I spend more time sitting back, listening and observing. Quite often the universe does indeed work it out, mostly to my benefit.

Sell your bond funds.

I posted a bunch in the "contemplations" thread, but there are 2 that are outstanding for me this year:

• Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. Read that again.
• Worrying is a lot like praying for what you don't want.

From myself and a few other here: Retire now! 8 more working days!!!!

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

I wish I could learn to take this advice. If so, my life might be happier

Let go of unhealthy relationships.

Still use my nana's advice - Don't meet trouble halfway and the other was in bad times, "chin up and soldier on."

One (of quite a few this year!) is 'be kind to yourself'. Given to me by my aunt.

Sit quietly and listen.

Least said, soonest mended.

Don't complain, don't explain.

In other words, learning to keep my mouth shut more often. It really has made my life calmer.

Teeda, i need to follow that advise. i have the bad habit of blurting out what is on my mind at the moment.

Something I read that resonated with me. Here goes:

The parable of the second arrow is a well-known Buddhist story about dealing with suffering more skillfully. It is said the Buddha once asked a student,

‘If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?’

He then went on to explain,

‘In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.’

Being healthy is hard.

Being unhealthy is hard.

Choose your hard.

(Great thread, Ded! Thanks for all these words of wisdom.)

press on, and don't look back or you will turn into a pillar of salt.

IOW don't live in the past.

Can't think of anything to add - except that this thread should be included in Annie's Meta advice discussion, IMO 😃

And I know OHIO as 'touch it once'.

Recently I saw a short TED Talk where the speaker essentially pointed out that we tend to assign morals to tasks. For example, if I don't do lots of Christmas baking I'm letting my kid down, or I'm a lazy/bad/fill-in-the-blank mom. Tasks aren't morally good or bad. This is helping me let go of some "shoulds". When I have a bad day or two, it isn't forever and I'm not a bad person.

Wear a mask except for with family. Now I am of the mindset that wearing a mask all the time would be best. Not possible but the best. Covid took over this Christmas holiday.

Not only in 2022 but through the years.

Trust God and live one day at a time.

This, too, shall pass.

I like this one from the NYT list and Ive already told myself this a few times. Today I added a few things to my Amazon cart, then stooped before ordering. Then i thought ” tighten the nut!” and clickedon the buy button. All stuff i definitely need, not impulse purchases.

”When the wrench is on the nut, tighten it. In other words, if you’re already touching a piece of mail, deal with it. If you see a thing you’ll need soon, buy it now. If an uncomfortable conversation comes up, have it rather than deflecting it.” Kind of the same as

im enjoying all the advice.

New for 2023: Apparently, all of my appliances have a hidden DIY fix-it sheet. I did not know this.

dedtired--I was procrastinating about something I needed to do when I read your post. Decided to "tighten the nut" and just do it. Just got back from completing that task, but I feel so much better!

I dont believe there’s a hidden fix it sheet placed in all appliances. I am meticulous about always reviewing all paperwork when i get a new appliance and i also always keep a binder with each appliance‘s packet in its own plastic sheet cover.

In 2022 as part of a whole house remodel we replaced all my kitchen appliances, two central air conditioners and installed a heating booster device for our showers along with a new water heater

Not one of which had a hidden DIY fix it sheet anywhere. So color me a non believer on this one-sounds more like one of those social media tidbits about secret hacks and amazing unknown tips to do or fix whatever

The best advice I received was from my brother Raymond to start eating Keto/low carb. He lost 75 pounds. I didn't really listen at first but then his daughter was getting married and the night before the wedding I wasn't sure I could go because I was in a lot of pain and none of my "dressy" clothes fit any longer. I didn't want to miss this wedding because in January last year I couldn't go to his daughter's wedding in Detroit held at the Whitney Mansion because of the pandemic and border restrictions and finding a test to come back home.

I sucked it up, took an extra strength Tylenol an hour before I had to leave for the wedding, wore some dark blue pants and a tunic type top. I was presentable but not something as an Aunt of the Bride that I would usually wear. Sitting at the table, my brother took a picture of me and the bride standing behind me. He then posted and tagged me in the picture on FB the next day. I never put any current pictures of me on FB, only pictures when I was a child. haha I was mortified. I finally saw how much weight I had gained So the next day, I started to watch every video on Keto by a Doctor, or nutritionist and once I understood the way to eat I started the next day. All my cravings for candy and cookies went away immediately which surprised me because I had a major sweet tooth. I craved nothing. I had my annual heart ultrasound and I had already lost 10 pounds so I asked if this way of eating was okay for me to do and the cardiologist said it was good for me to follow. Since September 2nd I have lost 36 pounds, this is no longer a diet but the way I eat. If I had known how easy this would be to eat this way, healthy real foods, no grains, no seed oils, no wheat, no sugar I would have taken my brother's advice sooner

I have a cluttered house and have heard the advice to only touch a piece once as you're seeking improvement, but that's really hard unless you've arranged a series of places into which the stuff you want to keep can belong.

Then, it's important to evaluate whether there's too much stuff in some of the categories.

When son came to help declutter, he brought forward an idea that I've heard, considered and have had mixed results in trying to put to work, "When some new thing comes into the house - one needs to dispose of some, usually similar, thing that's already there".

ole joyfuelled

Since I am trying to de-clutter and down size, if I buy anything, I have to get rid of two things. That's my rule, it's not hard and I'm sticking to it, especially when it comes to clothing. My local Salvation Army and women and children's shelter is benefitting as well. Also received some really nice towels from my daughter for Christmas. I took a good hard look at my towel collection, some I have had for over 25 years - yikes! Our local animal shelter was very happy to accept all my frayed, hair-dyed stained, acne med bleached, towels. I washed them all before dropping them off.

I didn't receive any advice or read anything new in 2022, but from reading this forum the most valuable part to me which I learned the importance of in 2022 was the advice of getting rid of things and not leave it to my heirs to deal with. This advice really hit home for me here in December and since dealing with two houses in a different country one where this was done (and still lots of stuff) and one where it wasn't I'm making 2023 the year of reducing the stuff we have. I also learned the hard way that some things that I need to remedy for my family after dealing with it in another country and although the law there is a little different the same issues are in the US as well and I think even harder to deal with here due to less automation after someone passes away. I wish I had known more about this and pushed it more with my family as things are complicated since my mom has Alzheimer's and my stepdad passed away just a short time after a diagnosis and two weeks later my dad also passed. I've suddenly faced some real medical problems (some unknowns at this time) and will take care of this myself as well, although I still hope my medical issue will turn out to be something simple vs. the worst case scenarios. I'm dealing with cognitive issues and horrible memory loss and I'm only in my early 50s.

1. Highly recommend creating a durable power of attorney for someone to handle your finances if you're unable as well as any medical. I know in Texas these are separate so I'm guessing it may vary from state to state.

2. Make sure your will and testament has a person assigned to handle the estate and make sure you have a will and testament.

3. Also if you have underage children make sure to cover what will happen to them in the event of something happening to both parents. Assign a legal guardian in your will (or whatever your state/country requires) and an order of people in case something has happened to them as well before something happens to you (particularly if the first choices are grandparents). This avoids the children having to go into temporary foster care before things are sorted out.

Wise words, Lyfia. I am decluttering my own house. I’ve generally gotten rid ofmstuff from time to time, so its not oberwhelming but it’s still plenty. My biggest headache is my mother’s huge and fully packed house. I wish it were all just junk to be toosed or donated but she has many things of value.

Fortunately she did give me POA and all the other legal documents in order. I did most of that, too.

So, i would say some good advice is to face up to the fact that you will get old, your home must be cleaned out some day and you will not always be as capable as you are at the moment. Plan ahead for these eventualities. Make decisions for yourself while you can.

I am not a regular follower of Kitchen table but actually got the best advice of 2022 on one of the threads. I can’t remember the exact wording of the thread but think it was something like ”DO IT NOW” in regards to picking up and cleaning around the house. I guess I was a pretty messy person because I always had a lot of clutter around the house which bothered me but I always had ”plans” to clean it up. After I started to just take care of things as they happened my house is so nice and neat and I have lots more free time. What is an added benefit is that my husband ”caught” this habit without me saying anything and is doing the same. Life changing for me!

I've checked this thread a couple of times and haven't thought of any particular advice that I might label as 'best.'

That is until I read ded's last post:

"..............So, i would say some good advice is to face up to the fact that you will get old, your home must be cleaned out some day and you will not always be as capable as you are at the moment. Plan ahead for these eventualities. .........."

Maybe it just hit me at the right moment because as I'm taking down the Christmas decorations I'm determined to eliminate at least one plastic tub and maybe two. When we moved 5 years ago ( yikes - 5 years already) I donated the outdoor decorations and I'm very proud of myself for not buying anything new. Some of those catalogs have tempted me too! I don't have all that much and it does fit nicely on the shelving that hangs from the ceiling in the garage. It's completely out of the way except one of my sons has to set up the ladder to take it down and then return it after the holidays.

I now keep a bag in my closet and I'm slowing filling it with items that don't fit properly or don't go mix with other pieces. It's slow but a start. And the motivating factor is because I love my kids and they have their own lives - they really don't need to deal with this.

Thanks for all the advice.

Maire

Most appliances do not have a "hidden fix sheet" but our clothes dryer did. We found it after removing a front piece to replace a part. So I imagine other appliances have them but they are behind covers that aren't always that easy for the standard homeowner to remove. I think they are put there as a reference for professional repairmen.