I think there are so many different ways that people think about decorating their homes, and many people that simply do not think about it at all. Some may be related to upbringing and some may also be related to financial means. For those that are simply getting by, purchasing art or lamps is likely not going to be a priority. And those that start getting interested sometimes just purchase things that look good at the store but without an understanding of any of the basic concepts of decorating.

Yes, definitely. My sister-in-law is one of those people. The wall to wall carpet in their downstairs (family room, living room, dining room) is the original to the house put in by previous owners about 40 years ago. It is to put it mildly, disgusting. They've had it cleaned but it's so stained from years of kids and dogs and who knows what. It's gross. My brother is a retired doctor. They can afford new flooring. In fact, when the subject comes up my brother says she has to pick something and that will never happen. She is also someone that needs every inch of every surface covered with something. Holiday cards stand on the kitchen counter until the next holiday. I have no idea how she cooks. There is no available counter space to chop anything. I don't know what happened to the last TV console in the family room, but for several years, the TV has been sitting on a folding table. Buy a TV console already! She won't pick anything, so it stays on the folding table.

My mom was not so into decorating mostly because there was no extra money for that sort of thing. But the house was spotless and nothing was ever out of place. It amazes me that my brother now lives in the exact opposite environment.

I have a story that perfectly tells the difference in our homes. Years ago, we both used the same financial advisor. He came to our home for a meeting. We had recently moved into this home and it was his first visit. We were sitting at the kitchen table. He was looking around and he said 'are you sure you and your brother are related?' Ha, I knew exactly what he meant. I said yes, but my sister in law and I are not blood related (I do love her dearly, she's a sweetheart, we're just very different people).

I think we are all unique combinations of interest and talent.

There are people who never watch or play a game of football - zero interest

There are people who love to watch football but couldn't catch a ball to save their life.

There are people who play football

There are people who play football well enough to get a scholarship to college

There are people who play football well enough to get into the NFL

There are people who become superstars

Then there are the people who tell you they are good enough to be a superstar, but really couldn't catch a ball to save their lives.

This may be another myth, that it doesn't necessarily take money, but I don't think that it necessarily takes money. I had two early apartments that had things in them that were literally trash picked combined with a nice thing or two, and although there was a distinctly low budget and trash picked quality about the style, it was stylish. When I rented out my house for a couple years, they moved into a house that had brand new neutral carpet in the bedrooms (via the people who sold it to me) and freshly repainted rooms in the colors of their choosing (because the rental agent told them I would paint the freshly painted for sale rooms over again in whatever colors they wanted) and then they had a furniture truck pull up with brand new everything for the house...and it was all new and it cost money, but it was not stylish in the least, it was a hodgepodge of brand new stuff.

Thanks for the link Jilly, I didn’t realize those were still en vogue!

I have seen homes transformed for very little money and done very nicely. I have seen expensive renos that look terrible. Money doesn't buy good taste.

I love the unique wall art in The Artful Home. Sometimes too expensive, but often great inspiration.

https://www.artfulhome.com/navigate/wall-art

Having taught art students for 40 years of all ages, some people can see and some people can't. You can point it out to them and they might see it then but they just as well might not.

One of my funniest memories is talking to a friend, an engineer, smart, put together and all around Nice guy. Nice wife, and they enjoyed NASCAR occasionally and he said one time and it was in the context of our conversation that he would never spend $150 on a lamp! I had to refrain myself from saying I would never spend $75 on a NASCAR t-shirt or a dollar on NASCAR anything lol

My one sister finds some of the most unique things that she displays in her home. Love the metal ceiling tiles she found and used on her LR wall. Best part - they came out of an old insane asylum that was torn down.

I know I have a tendency to argue points on both sides of discussions like this, but I think it is a discussion with multiple sides.

I said above that I don't think it necessarily takes money to have style, but on the other hand I think to do something high quality and sort of sophisticated costs more than it did in our parents generation. I was shopping for a particular type of floor lamp for my living room, and while vintage is always an option I did find exactly what I wanted, a lamp designed decades ago that is still made. It's not something that you can buy ready made in a store, so you pick your options and such and get a quote.

I was rather shocked when the quote for the lamps came back at $3500 delivered. I was even more shocked when I looked more carefully and saw that each was quoted separately and the tab was $7000 delivered for the pair. They must actually sell them or they wouldn't still be in business. They are a very simple lamp, actually. I and I can't imagine that they were designed with pricing like that in mind. I am sure they were one of those designs meant to be "accessible".

In case you are wondering, I am not spending $7000 on two lamps.

It doesn't take money but it does take making good choices all along the way so that at least you have something to play with.

To comment further about this surprisingly common genetic dysfunction: I don’t particularly care for the Artful Home wall art, but I am pretty certain Jennifer Hogan could take things from that site and produce an interesting, put together room. This is why I think taste is a completely separate issue. We all have different tastes, but can also appreciate a nicely appointed room that is not ”our” taste but is pleasant, functional and comfortable The people who just don’t have the DNA under discussion here don’t have bad taste, they don’t have any taste. It’s curious.

I know people in the function first camp but who still want a bit of something they find appealing. I also know someone in the function is the only thing that matters camp, they don't care a bit what anything looks like and if there is any harmony at all it's happenstance or someone else did it for them. Part of that is financial and as we all know it doesn't necessarily take a big wallet to create a nice space but it does take an interest. Was that interest quashed due to financial circumstances? I don't know, maybe. I can imagine being in a situation where how my surroundings look is so far down the list as to be non-existent but I have never experienced that even in my leanest financial times.

I like the process but don't love it as I used to. There is a limit to my need to change things up, more as I get older. In past homes with quirky rooms, odd spaces a growing family and my own youth and energy, I moved furniture around, changed room purposes and decor, bought and sold pieces regularly. Many times DH would come home to find an armoire that had been in the living room now upstairs in our bedroom and unable to figure out how I had managed that on my own. Now I want things to work in the spaces I have for the purposes I need. I move art around, small things here and there or replace a lamp or a decorative item with something I like better but I like the main things done. My mother was the same way - she lived and breathed all things design when she and my dad built the house I grew up in. But after a couple/few years she was done and it largely remained as it was for the next 20+ years.

Yeah, I’m one who doesn’t have much interest in decorating. I grew up in a home without the $ to indulge in decorating and where you worked with the inherited antiques. The only time I do anything remotely close to decorating is when I move or when some furniture just wears out. And once I get the furniture in the optimal location I never move it until I move out. I’m really not one to buy something because I need some particular ”decor” for some specific spot. Just about everything we have is something meaningful— a gift, from a trip, etc. The nicest lamps I have are from Craigslist as is my largest wall art. I don’t like a lot of stuff and clutter and a lot of people would think my decor is quite bare or even missing. I’m happy with it though.

I (we) moved into this house 25 years ago and, everything is still pretty much where we put it on move-in day. A few new things on the walls.

I'm not oblivious or immune to good design and decor. It isn't my first priority. It's easy for me to ignore things based on their looks, as opposed to something that needs to be fixed.

I don't move things around. Once I find something that works and that I like, why mess with it?

I think that not having "any taste" and having "bad taste" are treated as if they are synonymous but as Kswl says, they aren't, I don't think.

I like to say it as not having a "specific taste" some of the time.

I don't think my sister has bad taste, she doesn't have any taste when it comes to herself: she doesn't care. But if you look at real estate and you look, well, at the Building Forum, you see examples of people who care very much, but it's kind of bad taste.

And people who don't have specific taste have a taste that is dictated by whatever everybody else finds acceptable good taste. These are the people who liked something when they did it seven years about and hate it now, because it is no longer trendy. They don't have a specific taste, it is taste which is not innate but external.

I have no issues with people choosing to decorate their homes in a certain way or not at all.

I was more wondering about the people who care and make an effort and think there is something wrong with their room but can't figure out what to do to improve it. Like the person in my example above who was delighted to learn that art above her mantle would look nice. Or the people who have their furniture pushed up against the walls and one overhead light and wonder why the room doesn't feel comfortable.

I suppose it's like my inability to arrange kitchen cabinets. I know when it's not done well but I can't see the solution.

Money opens up the options, but one can decorate on a very limited budget. I think back to my first and second grown up apartments. We had zero dollars for purchasing expensive furniture, but I was able to make it attractive on that very limited budget. Hand me downs from relatives plus some purchases. The purchases were not high quality and are long gone, but it was what I could do at the time. And it was pretty and made for a comfortable home. And I would bet that many of us here can say the same thing.

I'm not one to tell people how to spend their money but I find it odd that my brother and sister in law do not want to make their home attractive when they can certainly afford to do so. When you're young and broke (or just broke), you live with what you have and that's totally fine. But when you're in your late 60s and have worked your entire life to be financially secure, don't you want your home to reflect that? I can't understand it. And to make it even stranger, a few years ago my brother wanted to redo the deck (a necessity since it was falling down). What he actually ended up doing was spending over $100k to build a huge sunroom and a new deck probably 5 times the size of the original. Not sure sister in law wanted to do it, but he did. It could be so beautiful. But it's not. They moved the living room furniture into the sunroom because SIL couldn't decide what she wanted. It was supposed to be temporary. It's been several years. Now the living room has no furniture but is filled with 40 year old toys that she never threw away from when the kids were little that the granddaughter now plays with. And the sunroom is a hodge podge of the old living room couches and just a whole lotta junk. I just don't get it.

I'll never forget one year at Thanksgiving (we always host), my sister in law and teenage nephew walked in to kitchen when they arrived and I heard my nephew whisper to his mom -- see they don't have crap all over the counters. He clearly didn't like the way their house looked. And his apartment does not look like that. But my niece, his sister, is just like her mom. And...wait for it...she's a designer. I kid you not. Needless to say I have not used her for any projects in my home.

I found GW when I finished painting the ceilings in my cute little starter home over 2 decades ago (!).

I am actually a good painter, so I was surprised when my brand new white ceilings bugged me. I had no clue what was wrong. I painted the walls, I painted the ceilings - everything was a crisp fresh white. So why did my brain itch at the result....?

I had a cool white on the walls and a warm white on the ceilings. I didn't even have the vocabulary to describe this or the insight into how colors feel to me - or how certain colors make me feel.

I am just as intelligent today as I was then. I've just learned along the way.

I have the one and done gene when it comes to placing furniture and lamps. Add art and accessories as I find them. I have never bought a filler piece. My sister needs help, and since I staretd shopping with or for her 7yrs ago, her houses are much better. But she is still drawn to anything "cute," colorful and features any kind of animal, My sister has a lot of notes, magazine and extra things sitting out and about all. the. time.

My parents were also one and done, until old age and a really nice pair of Ethan Allen leather recliners moved into their LR.

interesting thread.

Of course, some people are better than decorating than others. But as said below, I think there are those who just do not care about decorating, not that they wouldn't be good at it. My mom loved to decorate and our home growing up was beautiful. I inherited her interest I guess. I love making a house a home. I love the thrill of the hunt in finding just the right pieces. We both love antiques and have filled our home with items that are meaningful to us. We are blessed to have a couple of family pieces. I'm not one to constantly change things around though. I do change out pillows/bedding, etc. throughout the year but for the most part, adding another "treasure" means I have to get rid of something. : ( I've about added all the artwork I can heehee.

I have told the story before, but I designed a kitchen for someone who did not realize that her upper and lower cabinets were not the same depth until she looked at the drawings I did for a new kitchen and asked why I had drawn it that way. And I had to make her go look at her own.

And when I asked how she could not notice something like that, she asked But why would she Have to notice something like that, specifically.

In a giant communal yard sale maybe 10 years ago I sold some curry and company oriental lamps that while dated really wouldn't be in the right setting, but they weren't right for me. I couldn't give them away for $4. I was rather surprised that nobody could see what they were. Pristine also.

That’s unreal. Bumble, please be sure to notify us immediately the next time you are getting rid of nice lamps!

I have rarely changed our furniture placement because in the past I gave it a great deal of thought and for our last several homes that were much larger hired an ID who is particularly gifted at designing layouts. I do change art and accessories, lighting, and sometimes rugs, but don’t change the furniture around. OTOH my mom moves stuff around a lot— or rather, asks us to move it for her. She has a gilt settee that has been in every room in her new home. She moved to our community two years ago and still isn’t ”done.” Sometimes when I come home from her house DH asks, ”what did you move today?” That’s one variant of the decorating gene she did not pass along to me.

Here are two things that I could not give away locally: a slat table similar, and a Hans Wegner GE 290 chair, teak, and mine had the original tweed upholstery. Well I could have given them away for absolutely free, maybe. I eventually sold them on Chairish for quite a bit more than I was asking, and even then I was not asking a lot because they weren't perfect.

But this was the yardsale I was participating in where they lady said "Say, did (I )have a dining room table, she didn't really need a table like this one, but she was having people over for dinner, and could she borrow a dining room table for a few days and then just bring it back?"

Since I saw how some of the people were treating the stuff they got that day (there was a guy actually half dragging a full sized mattress in a collapsible baby stroller), I was completely against the idea. She seemed annoyed I would not just give her stuff.

There are a few OPs on the Design Dilemma board I can think of who have been posting about the same room, asking for the same help, for at least five years now.

They get lots of advice each time they post, then come back a few months later asking the exact same advice as every other time. It’s baffling.

I politely suggested to one a while back that it might be time to bring in an interior designer who could see the room in person. She didn’t take kindly to that advice — chewed me out, then said she was never posting here again. I felt so awful for that. I apologized, but she’d already flounced, I guess.

I am convinced people value what they pay for!

https://www.facebook.com/ohhyoubetcha/videos/923417159523084/

With regard to the advice to ask a professional, I can see both sides of this, and reactions are probably based on previous experiences.

There are people who respond to practically every question posed, and usually first, "What does your architect/designer/contractor say?" They never actually give advice, other than to get advice outside these forums. And would imaging that people coming here for advice would find that frustrating.

If someone keeps coming back over and over with the same problem though, they are probably looking for different answers than they are getting because they don't like the answers they are getting. I know people like that, they will ask different people, or even the same people repeatedly, because they want a certain type of answer and it's not the one people are giving them.

Yes, that’s the case in my example.

She kept asking about a certain feature in her home — she didn’t like it, but could it be worked with.

After years of getting every kind of suggestion possible to work with it, I suggested consulting with an ID … that maybe it could be changed (via light, but not DIY, construction) into the feature she really wanted.

She had wondered about that herself, about changing it. But I guess it wasn’t what she wanted to hear that particular day. And I still feel bad about upsetting her.

Jilly, you are not responsible for her reaction nor could you make it happen. The choice as to how to respond belonged to her, not you.

Sometimes we (well, I) hope to provoke indignation but even then we can't control whether indignation is provoked. But your emininently sensible thought is clearly not that.

Jilly, you are so much kinder than most, if someone took offence they are either stressed out of their minds (not your fault) or spoiled, self indulgent jerks.

Barncatz and Jennifer, thank you, I appreciate your kind words very much.

As President of the "I love Jilly Fan Club" it is my duty to report that there is no way anyone could find Jilly offensive. The end.

:-)

Late to this - as usual.

@ Jilly: I'm left wondering did she make good on her threat, or did she return?

And is it really a bad thing 😏

I can relate to 3katz's comments above. I grew up with antiques and hand me downs, and my mom decorated very nicely with those things - and redecorated too. Unfortunately, my mom was also really good at making rooms that weren't really comfortable, but looked very nice, which I think made me value comfort, flow and use over things being just so.

I'm not the type to crowd source opinions to figure out what I want or like, but then I studied graphic/commercial art and fashion design and have a degree in Fine Art. Our home is not really 'decorated', but it's comfortable. I love old things.

My youngest sister, OTOH loves to crowd source all kinds of things, spends an awful lot of time deciding, and had her master bedroom redecorated for free in exchange for it being used by the decorators as an example of their work. She hustles.

I think a lot of the indecisiveness we see on the decorating forum stems from people who don't have experience, education or confidence in their own choices. At the same time, I think it's become practically expected to turn to the internet for advice and ideas.

A dear friend once said 'their taste is all in their mouth' - which I find applies to some folks, for sure.

Ally, lots do! But thank you, sweet friend. 🥰

Carol, ha! I’m not sure. She might be using another handle and avoiding me! :D

.

“I think a lot of the indecisiveness we see on the decorating forum stems from people who don't have experience, education or confidence in their own choices. At the same time, I think it's become practically expected to turn to the internet for advice and ideas.”

Well said!

@ carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b - I love what you said

“I think a lot of the indecisiveness we see on the decorating forum stems from people who don't have experience, education or confidence in their own choices. At the same time, I think it's become practically expected to turn to the internet for advice and ideas.”

I can look at every one of my sisters and sister-in-laws and based on their personalities and coloring I understand why they chose the style, décor and colors in their homes.

My sister Susie and I are polar opposites in many ways. She is outgoing, energized by people, hates being alone, high energy, quick decision maker. She has Queen Anne Antiques mixed with industrial pieces and a lot of quirky stuff in her home. She looks fabulous in fall colors and her home is decorated in fall colors. When she got married she picked a fancy wedding gown with tons of lace and beading.

I am exhausted by people, prefer one on one interactions, work as a data analyst, do things methodically and have to chew on ideas before making a decision. My style is clean lines, MCM / Scandinavian. When I got married I chose a simple A line gown with a ruched bodice, no lace, no beads, no embellishments. I am a winter - dark hair, dark eyes and fair skin. I look good in bright clear colors. Purples and wine reds and teals are my winter colors, summer I wear more florescent colors bright lemon yellow, lime green, coral and fuchsia. I use mostly my winter colors in my home as my summer colors are a bit loud and overly energizing for my home.

How does someone not know what makes them feel comfortable, what fits?

@Cozzie I've helped friends and relatives narrow down paint choices, but always let them make the final decision. That way it is not on me if they don't like it. I have helped one close friend place furniture and accessories after she moved (three times now), and did china cabinet collection and helped with exterior paint choices twice.

As mentioned above, my sister is decorating challenged, so I've helped her do a large remodel (interior and exterior painting, floor restaining, furniture, art and accessories) on her main home, and furnish her second home.

I would help these few anytime, but would not want to take on someone I had not known for decades or a neighbor I did not know very well.

Is there a decorating gene that some people just don't have? Yes, for sure. I know several people who simply don't spend their energy on decorating their homes.

I have a real-life friend who loves design as much as I do. We have different styles, but we like to get together, compare notes, browse local designers' work, etc. Much of what I like I cannot replicate in my own home. My house isn't all that big, and there's not a lot of room for rearranging and redecorating, other than smaller changes.

Before I die, I'd love to live in a Craftman's, a brownstone, a Mission revival, a tudor, a cottage with shaker siding, an urban loft with exposed brick and duct work, an Italianate (there is a gorgeous one in my neighborhood). When I was in my 20s and not really paying attention to decor, I visited a home in Tucson, AZ, an old, sprawling Spanish Colonial ranch built in the 30s or 40s. The owner wasn't home (it was his vacation home), and so I could wander freely from room to room. I was in love with the spirit of the home, even though it would be considered dated today. If I could live in only one more home in my lifetime, it would be that one. I ended up in Chicago, where such homes are rare and rather out-of-place, though.

Too many homes, too little time. Too many wallpapers, too little wall space. Too many lamps, not enough horizontal space.

I share your sentiments Feathers. I have often said I could live in almost any style of house as long as it was an excellent example of the style or period, with a good layout and plenty of light.

I often feel that way too, Feathers. I like many different types of architecture and styles of decor. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll likely never live in all the kinds of houses I'd like to, so I just try to enjoy and drink in when I get to visit one.

When I was kid, I fantasized about turning one of the MCM gas stations we'd see on the highways into a house. I loved the glass walls and garage doors and cantilevered roofs.

Oh my gosh, Feathers (and Kswl and Carol) … I’m the same!

plenty of light

This is #1 for me.

As we edge closer to the vernal equinox, suddenly the light has changed. There's more of it and it's a warmer color. My modest, to put it mildly, little house isn't much, but it's blessed with good light throughout the day.

Maybe I just don't move as often as others. I have only owned 2 homes. Lived in the first home over 20 years. Plan on living in this home until I die.

I like other styles but I spent 20 years gathering furniture that worked in my last home and wasn't going to start over.

My family doesn't move often - one brother built a home 40 years ago - still living there.

Other brother bought a home when he worked in Philly - sold that and bought one in my home town when he moved back. Lived in that home over 20 years then built a home when the kids were grown and out on their own.

One sister bought a home when she worked in NYC - sold that and bought a home when she moved back home. Lived in that home for over 20 years then built a home when the kids were on their own.

Other sister bought a home, sold that when my dad passed away and her and her family moved into my mom's house to help her. Sold my parents home after mom passed away and built a home that she lived in for 20+ years.

1-3 homes in a lifetime doesn't give a lot of opportunity to switch gears and completely changing styles ever few years would cost a fortune. Maybe that is why people are okay with more disposable furniture. They can't pick something and stick with it.

“They can't pick something and stick with it.” I have to say that sounds vaguely judgmental. Maybe their tastes changed over time. It’s been known to happen. 🤔

Kswl - your right. I was heading into a meeting and rushed my final thoughts and they do sound judgmental. Wording was poor. Now I have been in back to back meetings for 4 hours and my brain is fried, so better words aren't coming.

I admit to being overly defensive Jennifer, as my tastes have changed over the years from modern —youthful independence from the shackles of tradition 😁— to Uber Traditional once I started inheriting and being given really nice furniture I couldn’t turn down. For me it was a process, but I do have friends whose taste has never changed whether it was good, bad or indifferent to start with!

I think we all start out not knowing anything, often just knowing we don't want what our parents had. I always tell people my mom was the dumbest woman on earth when I was 16 and it was amazing how quickly she learned. By the time I was 26 she knew all the answers.

I didn't buy my first home until I was in my early 30s. Had to save for a down payment and get established enough in our careers to buy something in Southern California. By then I had a good idea of what I liked and didn't like.

I always tell people my mom was the dumbest woman on earth when I was 16 and it was amazing how quickly she learned. By the time I was 26 she knew all the answers.

Too funny! I will never forget when my daughter was in college, I think 2nd or 3rd year, so maybe around 20 yrs old, she said to me -- you really are always right.

Haha! Woohoo! OK, maybe not always, but I do have a clue! She's now 37 and we are the best of friends.

And years later, when she was dating her now husband, she asked my advice on something. I gave it. She said, ok that's what I'll do. Her boyfriend/soon to be hubby said 'oh, I see. When I give you the same advice, you're not sure. When your mom does, it's correct'. I left the room to let them work that out! ;-)

To those of you who were born with the design gene - I could use some feedback on a post I posted yesterday.

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/6431526/range-replacement-kitchen-design#28955472 

Don't want to make an expensive mistake, but am having to replace the range before renovating the kitchen.