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deegw

Should I send a Christmas gift?

11 months ago
last modified: 11 months ago

For the past five years or so, my parents' younger neighbor has been mowing their lawn and shoveling their walks out of kindness. A plow company, hired by my Dad, clears the driveway. A few years ago, the neighbor finally accepted payment, though I’m unsure how much my dad gives him, as he tends to be a bit stingy.

I always make sure to thank him profusely whenever I see him, but I'm not sure if there's anything else I should be doing. I was considering starting a tradition of giving him a thank-you gift at Christmas, but I’m unsure what would be appropriate or if it would be awkward or insulting since I barely know him.

For context, my parents live in a tract home with a small yard and driveway. They are both in their 80s, and my dad will soon turn 90. The neighbor is in his late 30s and is married and has three elementary-aged daughters. My Mom gives the girls little gifts for their birthdays and holidays.

Should I send a gift? What should I send? Thanks.

Comments (14)

  • 11 months ago

    I would send a card thanking him for helping your parents and enclose a gift card to a local restaurant that will cover dinner for 5.

    deegw thanked porkandham
  • 11 months ago

    I absolutely would. Although the extra bit of effort taken might not be much, the help it affords your parents isn't small. A cash gift feels cringy go me. Though Im not big on gift cards, it’s often the best option. Eating out is expensive these days. I’d send the family a holiday greeting with a gift card (s) to a popular family restaurant. With a young family, pizza or fast foods are fine, imo.

    deegw thanked martinca_gw sunset zone 24
  • 11 months ago

    What a thoughtful neighbor! I think it would be nice to send something as a thank you. Love the idea of a card with a gift card to a local restaurant. If you want to send a phyical gift, I'd go for something consumable that is not home made. (Home made food can be uncomfortable if they don't know you well enough to know your kitchen.) Treats like cookies or cakes. Fresh fruit. Nice quality oil and vinegar (if they tend to cook). Etc.

    deegw thanked pricklypearcactus
  • 11 months ago

    p.s. Though you didn’t ask for $ amount suggestions, considering the times this nice neighbor is helping throughout the year a restaurant card amount of $50-100 feels right to me.

    deegw thanked martinca_gw sunset zone 24
  • 11 months ago

    Yes I would absolutely send a holiday gift.

    I had a similar situation when my parents were alive. They lived in a retirement community (55 and up). Both my parents lived into their 90s. The neighbor was significantly younger - late 50s, early 60s maybe. He was a life saver for us. He watched out for my parents. When my dad was falling a lot towards the end, he would rush over to help my mom.

    My mom was living alone after my dad died. One evening the neighbor was out walking his dog after dinner and noticed that the light in the front room where my mom had the TV was not on. He knew her habits and knew she was always watching TV after dinner. He got his key to the house and let himself in. My mom had fallen in the bedroom and was attempting to get to the phone. Yes, she had one of those emergency necklaces but of course was not wearing it.

    I do not know what we would have done with out that sweet man and his wife. I sent him a basket of goodies from Harry & David (or something similar) from me and my brother every year. It was the least we could do.

    After my mom passed, and we put the house on the market, the neighbors' best friends bought it. That made me happy that they now had their good friends living next door to take care of each other as they aged.

    deegw thanked jsk
  • 11 months ago

    I agree Yes, let him know you appreciate his attention to your parents. .

    My guess would be a young man with three grade school aged children has a somewhat limited budget. I would absolutely thank him with a Christmas gift card. Maybe quietly? So as not to offend your tight walleted father.......at his age he is probably remembering being able to find a teen to mow a lawn for a dollar or two. These days you can have trouble finding a teen who can start a mower. I NEVER see a young man or girl pushing a mower in our neighborhood.


    deegw thanked morz8 - Washington Coast
  • 11 months ago

    I would send a gift card. I do this for mail man, hair girl, etc. Its just a little extra to thank them for all the do for us.

    deegw thanked Tina Marie
  • 11 months ago

    These are such sweet stories. I would send a card for sure, and a gift if so moved. Unless you have any reason to believe that something of monetary value might be useful, I would send food/treats.

    deegw thanked kitschykitch
  • 11 months ago
    last modified: 11 months ago

    @morz8 - Washington Coast for years DH complained that high school kids never came by to see if they could mow our lawn. "Back in my day ... "

    After years of having a big yard, we moved to a house with a very, very small yard. Sure enough, that summer, the teenage boy from across the street asked if he could mow our lawn! I told DH and he laughed and said, "I don't mind mowing this lawn, it takes 15 minutes".

    I told DH that after all his years of complaining, he needs to let this boy learn about being responsible and reliable, collecting money, etc. DH agreed but I know it drove him crazy to pay someone to mow our tiny yard :)

  • 11 months ago

    Since he is doing it out of the kindness of his heart I would send something the whole family can enjoy. I've sent these pretzels many times and they are always a hit. Stonewall Kitchen also has great family gift packages.


    SOFT PRETZELS & SALTS VARIETY BOX - Happy Holidays - Eastern Standard Provisions


    Creators of Specialty Foods, Since 1991 - Stonewall Kitchen - Stonewall Kitchen


    deegw thanked jck910
  • 11 months ago

    Having caring neighbors is priceless. I agree to a gift card to a nice family style restautant. They coild even use is for takeout if they wanted.

    deegw thanked eld6161
  • 11 months ago

    Deegw, when my dad became ill, my sister and I took over the mowing. It was a large front and back yard. Gasoline mower and I must have been about 12. We managed just fine and have all our toes.

    I may have told this here before, but one day DH's mother told him XXX's next door need more to eat. (It was a blended family of 9 living next door to his own family - small farm - where he had 9 brothers and sisters. It was almost enough children among the two households for a small country school 😊)

    She said, I want you to take the tractor and go down closer to the river where the soil is better, plow then disc a field where they can grow some food. If they try to pay you and you take any money, I will thump you. DH was so excited at the prospect of taking the tractor alone, it hadn't occurred to him someone might want to pay him. He plowed, readied the garden as the father came out and began erecting a fence to keep the cow out. The next day that entire family was out there planting.

    DH said he was 10 years old.

    deegw thanked morz8 - Washington Coast
  • 11 months ago

    These are wonderful stories, and I agree with Eld--good neighbors are priceless. The winter I moved into my current home was bitter cold with lots of snow. My neighbor, who I hadn't met yet, had a snowblower and cleared my portion of the sidewalk after each snow. It was a stressful time for me, and I was so grateful for his kindness.

    Dee, you have some great suggestions here. I think your gratitude is lovely, and this man's daughters are fortunate to have him as a father.

    deegw thanked Feathers11