Eld - I can sympathize with you, not because I had the same thing happen but because I have a difficult time saying 'no.'

The best advice I can give is to keep it short and simple. Just say "Sorry, that doesn't work for us." Don't go into details but you may have to repeat it a few times.

Just say, that doesn’t work for us, but we would love to go out to dinner and catch up. Say nothing more after that or just repeat same.

You've gotten good advice. Sweet, simple, irrefutable

If asked a yes or no question by another person we need to remember that saying no is as acceptable an answer as saying yes. In my experience saying no simply with zero excuses is the best way to go.

I would take this as an opportunity to also end the friendship if you can since you said the relationship was only neighborly.

I would simple say that wouldn’t work for you without the extension of amy additional plans.

Sounds harsh, but it’s not a requirement in life to maintain all friendships, especially if they are not a positive experience.

Thanks everyone. I knew I’d get good advice here. I just have to archive it in my brain do I’m not blindsided.

Nicole

I agree...you've been given really good advice. I've had to be blunt with people and I hope it doesn't come to that...

I can relate as I too have a hard time saying no. For something like that, where the example gave you weren't even asked......I would almost have to practice beforehand to "just say no". I think "that doesn't ( or will not) work for us" is all you should say. I agree that when you start trying to explain it, it jus fall apart and less is definitely more.

It's just uncomfortable to say no sometimes, but in this situation, there is no down side.

You can always have to have your house fumigated! Mold, ants, termites, lots of options!

🤣

I'm another that has a hard time with saying no. I've recently discovered that if I give myself a starter phrase, then I find it easier to end with a firm "no". For example, "Well. That's an interesting thought. I'll have to say no." or "I can see how that would be one solution, but I won't be able to help with that."

For some reason, starting with a statement gives me a few seconds to get my mind in gear and focus so I don't start stammering out lame excuses. I've learned that there are two types of people. One group can see through your excuses, but realize that you just don't want to do it so they stop asking (and often feelings are hurt). The second type, don't care about your excuses and think that arguing about the validity of your excuses is acceptable behaviour. Either way, excuses have not worked for me in the past.

^^^^ this! Don’t lie, but do find phrasing that is brief, absolute and something you can comfortably repeat.

Agree with the above advice, but for the first time you might practice by writing it on paper and saying it out loud. And as pushy as she sounds you may have to repeat yourself, and that's OK.

A simple, ”This won’t work for us” with NO explanation. Any explanation gives them the opportunity for a solution that you won’t like.

Totally agree on a straight forward, one sentence response. You never owe anyone an explanation or an apology. I am bad about saying "sorry" because it seems like the polite thing to say or help ease the sting.

If you do not want to be friends or socialize with them (or her), then answer each time with the same response. She will eventually get the idea and, most likely, move on to someone else. If DH likes the DH, it's okay for them to play golf, have a drink or whatever without spouses.

I cannot imagine saying to anyone (even my BFF!) that we are going or want to park our RV in their driveway while we are out of state. This tells me the woman doesn't have a clue about a lot of things.

I would politely and smilingly say ”I’m so sorry we cannot accomodate your request.” No reason needed. If they ask I would say “I’m so sorry but it’s not open to discussion.” All while smiling and polite as you can be. And then maybe (if they called) ”I’m sorry, I’m getting another call. Goodbye!” If the conversation takes place in person a good follow up is always ”Now, would you like a glass of tea?”

Stand your ground. She sounds awful. If your DH likes her husband they can be guy friends; I would not want to be couple friends with them either.

Funny, I just read a similar scenario in an advice column, and the answer was to recommend a local hotel or 2 along with one's polite and firm refusal.

P.S. Anyone else enjoy reading advice columns?

I like the Ethicist in the NYT.

I agree with the others, you owe her no explanation and a simple "No, that won't work for us" is

all you need/should say. Then change the subject. She doesn't sound like the kind of person .you would want to give any leeway to. Good luck!

I heard good advice today re: this type of request. Make it a simple reply and make it your mantra. Don't deviate and say it nicely but with conviction, repeat as necessary, so the door doesn't appear open for her to push on.