I feel like I need to give some backstory here so bear with me and thx for reading :)

Our current home is a standard track home from 1992, 2 sty colonial 4BR, 2200 Sq Ft. 0 character. Our first home was an arts and crafts colonial from the 1920s and stunning. Really a beauty in so many ways and the quality of the build well it was not like what we have now. A job relocation moved us here 16 yrs ago. I am a multi media artist, and a weaver. My father is/was a carpenter and a fine craftsman at that. Aesthetics and materials matter to me. I dig deep into research when I am shopping for anything, shoes, appliances, tools, clothing. I prefer quality, beauty and longevity of an item. We love where we live and hope to retire and always have this house. It is in desperate need of some love and improvements. I am not thinking "resale" when I am planning this kitchen. We have lived here 16 yrs, 3 kids (2 in college, one in middle school) 2 cats, 1 big dog, huge extended family. We LIVE in this house and my 3 boys and pets show the true love we have for this home! We are excited to take on several projects over the next few years. Kitchen first. We cook a lot and LOVE to cook, not really foodies per se, but my husband and I cook a lot. We are refinishing all the oak floors in the downstairs, it will be throughout the kitchen and hopefully a light white oak look if we can attain that. I am so drawn to honed marble for all of the counters, but I know the drama. Plus we are putting in a lovely coffee espresso bar and a med size island (4 adult seats) all in the same stone. Light wood bottom cabinets and white on top. Minimal, clean lines, but not harsh and sterile is what we are going for. Utilitarian, but still beautiful and cozy if that makes sense. I love wood, and beautiful textiles, wool, linen is everywhere in my house.

So everything leads me to quartz for the counters, but the internal battle I am having is REAL as it is man made and not 100% stone. I know my husband and I will never do this kitchen again. I would love a natural stone. Honed marble that has beautiful grey soft veining and some character is really what I want and is exactly the texture and feel I want, but I will kill it. I am hard on things, messy and do not have a housekeeper. White granite is just not the same. I also do not want high shine. I want a matte soft finish. Our builder is recommending Vadara quartz. I have seen the samples and will go look at slabs soon. Anyone familiar with Vadara? Please help me pic a few patterns that may help me achieve the look I am hoping for and I'd love any reccs or insight.

OR

Should I just go for all marble and let it age with us (we are late 40s)? I am a romantic in this way and not obsessive about etching and patina, but don't want ugly curry and coffee stains either. Can I baby marble, no, can I take care of it, seal it, wipe it down of course. I just do not know what to do and did not think this would be as hard as it is to decide on.