You could send multiple times til you reach "your" amount.

I don't think it matters if they "hate" getting checks. They should be grateful someone is willing to give them a monetary gift of any sort and, "knowing" you, the size of the gift would outweigh any inconvenience of depositing the check, which they can probably do through their banking app anyway.

I would make it most convenient for you and send the check. If they are not in the habit of ever going through the drive -up at their bank, there is a good chance they can endorse, photograph front and back with their phone's cam and direct deposit without leaving home.

Now a-days they will use their phone to scan the check directly into their account so no bother really.

Good. I also hate that the card and sentiment are otherwise separate from the monetary gift.

My parents send my kids checks all the time for birthdays, etc. My kids all use the same bank and the app makes it very easy to scan/deposit checks. I find that safer than Venmo, and like you said, allows you the more personal touch of being able to include a card with your monetary gift.

It’s not so much as getting a check as it is the check being washed and used. Too many times checks have been stolen from the mail and at weddings. Some wedding registry use a site now to add monetary gifts, but then the site is getting a percentage I think 🤷‍♀️ I have given mailed checks for weddings and watched my account. Crazy! I know, but I know someone who this happened to and all she did was make a donation check. Thank goodness her bank called her.

Word of caution, we wrote a check for my nephew’s wedding and my husband wrote it to the name we call him, which is not his ’birth certificate’ name. The combo of the amount and the name possibly compounded by the fact it was a new bank account meant he couldnt deposit virtually. So write the check to one of their names, not John and Suzie, and write the check to an accurate name.

And for those wondering, I do know my nephew’s name, he just has never used his actual birth name.

Yup. I still recall my Mom trying to get into Mexico with a plane ticket that said "Betty" and a passport that said "Elizabeth."

If sending a check and a heartfelt card makes one a luddite, then I am of that generation. Shocking, I know ;-) The fact that we even have to question how this might be perceived makes me cranky. It's in a similar category to me as the wedding attire thread where I am headed next to stamp my feet.

where I am headed next to stamp my feet

LOL!

To be clear, I don't for a minute think they would complain or be ungrateful. I am just trying to gauge how much of a PITA it might be. It is helpful to be reminded that most checks are a small enough to just scan for deposit.

I do, for example, think it would be a total PITA to go really old school and bring a card with a check in it to the reception. That requires someone to hold on to and keep track of such things.

I don't do Venmo or any cash app. As an aside, most people do not have the privacy settings on their Venmo set properly so if you Venmo someone money, you can see Everyone who has Venmo'd them money and how much. And possibly they can see how much You sent as well.

I know. Most people don't seem to care, but I set mine to private.

Yes, i can see my son’s venmo transactions, mostly kiteboarding stuff. Will remind him to change settings.

A check is fine! So easy to deposit by scanning.I still get a kick out doing that.

Most receptions have a table for gifts/cards; but I don’t see anything wrong with sending a check.

Most receptions have a table for gifts/cards

I have not seen that in a while, but it was certainly the norm for a long time where I grew up.

My friend told their kid to put their Venmo on private because Grandpa was appalled by what he saw (bad decisions, stupid college humor) when he kindly sent the kid money. 😆

My Venmo has always been on private. But, I see others on Venmo and WHO they sent money to and their COMMENT to the payee-but not how much. I swear, one "mom" I knew from my son's elementary days...my interpretation of her numerous comments on Venmo and emoji's were to a gigolo! This was a few years ago and knowing her-I would not be surprised. I'm sure to this day, she still doesn't realize her comments can be seen-like others who use it also.

I would feel better sending a check and I use Venmo all the time.

I'd send a check with the card. I'd go to the post office or UPS and send it in one of their small priority envelopes that has tracking. It's not 100% insurance it won't get stolen but it won't be a sitting duck like a fat greeting card envelope.

I'm sure I shared this here before but the first time I downloaded venmo, long ago, a transaction by my friend's son immediately popped up on the screen. In just a minute or so it had snatched her info from my contacts and then snatched his info from her contacts! It was so appalled by the level of intrusion that I deleted the app that minute.

The next time I needed to use it I did some research before downloading and made sure my settings weren't so creepy. I also think they changed their policies in the meantime.

I am the definition of luddite, I guess. I don't have the Venmo app, have only used it from logging in to the website on my laptop. Just logged in to check settings which are shown as private but who knows how accurate that is and who can access what info. I have only used it a handful of times - not a lot of need for that type of money transfer in my life.

Our adult offspring share a phone account with us so we ended up getting Venmo to help them make their payments. Sending a gift that way seems tacky to me. I would send a check. Now that I have a granddaughter who is in need of nothing the bulk of her gifts are checks for her college account. I began by writing them to her not to her dad. My son was not pleased at the acrobatics it took to deposit the check. Who you write it out to matters more than it used to it seems. I don't recall issues when my three were young dealing with checks made out to them.

Hmmm I am just waking up ( late for me) so I might not be thinking clearly but @arcy_gw;; re gifts to grandchildren for college account. I am pretty sure we are able to transfer te funds directly into their college funds. We do it only once or twice a year ( birthday and holiday) . It was only slightly difficult the first time to get all the info, but it's now set up .

My point is it goes directly to their college account and no worries (once it's properly set up) about endorsements and such.

Yes salonva our son has a similar set up--if I liked that option. I think a child should have a bit of a gift to open and the check tucked in so they feel gifted. Not exactly Luddite like but maybe adjacent. When gifting is watered down to impersonal transactions I'll take a pass. This bugs my son-but that is not my problem.

Yes of course we also give a more immediate gift - toys, special day,etc but the $$ is done directly. It's so much simpler

Army i don't follow what you're saying?

Editing because I guess I wasn't very clear. I mean, my grands are roughly 2,5,7,9.... they may know that we're giving money for college, but they are way more focused on the unicorn or spiderman card and the toys. Maybe that they are so young is why it doesn't seem to appeal to me to give them the check or even print out the confirmation of the money transfer?

Offspring??? i hate how that sounds. Arcy, it sounds like you enjoy annoying your son.

My kids, and I as a kid, really appreciated receiving the check, even knowing that it would go into an account that we might not be able to access yet. There might be other money going into it to, but the check was a tangible way to learn about something kind of intangible.

As Salon said, it depends on the age. By 9 I would probably give the child a check or a copy of the transaction.

We have a funny family story about young kids and money. When my girls were toddlers, my sister gave them Easter purses with a few dollar bills in them. My one DD opened the purse, pinched the very corner of a bill with her fingertips and pulled it out. Holding it out in front of her as if it were radioactive, she said "These are tickets. They're for Daddy."

We still say to our kids "do you need any tickets?"

Who writes checks anymore? It's cash, green and crisp, or Venmo.

Venmo has limits on the amount you can send if you do not have a verified account.

I always thought that you ”had to” endorse the check with the name as it was written in the To: field, and for checks, a nick name or variation was okay. It’s not like it’s a passport.

Late to this, but weddings I have been to of late have a locked, closed box to enclose cards, checks. We have given checks at the wedding and received thank you cards for them. I write the check to one party.

Adding: we have never given our young grandchildren checks for birthdays or anything. We directly deposit every month into their education funds. That is separate from other gifts.