Oh boy, having emptied my parents’ house of everything, including items from my grandmother’s house, and from the family business, I am so motivated! I enjoy going to estate sales, and have a friend couple whose weekend activity is going to them. It is at turns sad, fascinating, enviable. Some estate sale and auction companies do a great job with pricing and display, others not so much. Some are knowledgeable, some not at all.

I went through this with my mom’s house last year. Her house was big and not only did she have her stuff, she also had brought home a lot of the contents of her aunt’s home. Mom never cleaned out her stuff. It was unbelievable what she had accumulated. Its not hard to see how this can happen when you get in the mindset of thinking you may need it some day, or its sentimental. Her house wasnt dirty or cluttered because she had so much storage space, but the volume of stuff was overwhelming. The only way to get rid of it was an estate sale.

Ive been cleaning out a lot of stuff but there is still plenty left. It would be easier to toss if I were actually moving and Id know for sure that I would have no need for things in the future.

I saw a listing for an estate sale yesterday that made my jaw drop. It was in a huge old house and the inside was filled with heaps of clutter. There were bookshelves that were sagging under the weight of books.

Found the listingEstate sale ⬅️

I keep thinking I’m going to go thru my house with some kind of label maker so when we die, the kids will know what has value. At this point they’d have no concept of what our ”good” art is worth or, say, that a certain ring belonged to my mother so maybe DD would want to hold onto it. (Or not.)

I have been paring back on a lot of random kitchen stuff and decor/trinkets, and could do more. I could tell a little story about almost anything in my house — I like having my ”stuff” to remind me of trips or family members, but I realize a lot of it will go when I go. Fortunately I am fairly disciplined about what I bring in, especially the older I get. Says the woman who carried a STICK in her carryon coming home from NC earlier this month.

PS unfortunately DH is a borderline hoarder, especially of books, but at least his stuff is mostly contained in his man cave and I don’t have to see it.

Sue, Im laughing because my new label maker arrived today. I was trying to cull and organize shelves leading to the basement and decided that if I ever need to find these things to use them, they should be labeled.

Now to make a system and stick to it.

I like the idea of putting a little history label on some items so my Rembrandt doesnt end up on the shelf at the thrift shop. Ha.

Sometimes, I look at the items in an estate sale and think about how much I probably would have enjoyed knowing the person based on their belongings, either because they reflect my taste so well or because the items are a fascinating collection.

I've gotten rid of so much, but I still have lots of tableware and linens. I don't worry about burdening my heirs with the clean-out because I know they have absolutely no interest in my possessions and will sell/donate/trash the lot and that's fine with me. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to enjoy setting a pretty table and making my bed with lovely linens.

Sue, I sure wish my mom would label things. She is in a large, old four bedroom house all by herself with lots of closets, an attic and basement, and it's full to the brim. There are some family heirlooms that she thinks are important enough to keep, yet nothing is labeled, so we have no idea what is family stuff and what she picked up at a yard sale. (Maybe it won't matter.) At 82, she is encouraging all of us to let her know what they want of hers, and even take it now, but I suspect we will end up having an estate sale like the one Ded posted to get rid of everything when the time comes. I am quite mindful of this as I consider buying something, and I no longer wander antique markets or visit estate sales unless I am specifically on the hunt for something.

Honestly, I’ll be dead so I don’t care.

Well Sue - I am confident that your branchlet was first examined with a discerning eye to form, shape and function and is of superior artistic merit.

Says the woman who brought home a small boulder from her PA house to her NJ garden because it needed something whimsical.

My personal stuff is kept at a minimum which is easy since I've never been all that interested in clothing or shoes (purses are another story all together). When I'm gone my kids can just donate everything in my closet which consists primarily of jeans and Polo shirts.

With the exception of my Eldred Wheeler tiger maple bedroom furniture and a few other pieces I doubt any of my kids will want the furniture . Even though it's all good quality (Baker, Henredon, Sherrill) it isn't their style and they might get a few dollars from an estate sale.

When we moved into this house 7 years ago we purchased a number of art pieces ranging from new oils and charcoal drawings to 200 year old Hudson River School landscapes. I photocopied the invoices and taped them to the back of the artwork and kept the originals in a folder in the safe. I did the same with our vintage floor and wall clocks. At least that way the kids will have an idea of relative worth when the time comes to dispose of them.

I had all my jewelry appraisals updated last year and those are in a binder in the safe

along with the receipts if I had them and a copy of the Collections policy from my homeowners.

@1929Spanish-GW - yeah, you'll be dead and hopefully no one you know or care about will be the one(s) to dispose of your things. Aside from the amount of effort required to do the task, I also found it kind of gut wrenching/heartbreaking going through some of the things.

In my acquisition phase of life I loved going to estate and yard sales, have many things that I've enjoyed for many years. I still go, less frequently, and very occasionally bring something home. Although my parents acquired a good many possessions in their lives, they also culled regularly, but still I ended up doing a large sale and bring home or distributing a great deal to other family members. I do my best to maintain some type of homeostasis in regards to possessions. Not a strict one in one out but mini purges on a semi regular basis.

The painting that had been appraised at a nice sum (then after 2008 appraised for a bit less) but no one in the family wanted, went to the nice auction house with full documentation including receipt, letters from the gallery, photo of it in the house our family member which helped to date its acquisition. It eventually sold for a quarter of it’s estimated auction value. Values vary.

Jewelry we brought to the locally well-regarded shop who said the value is in the metal, as stones can be lab-made in one’s desired shape for less. We are keeping it. Maybe sentimental reasons?

Estate sales and garage sales have never appealed to me, and the few times I've been, I never found anything.

It took me at least 6 months to make a decent dent at my parents' house of 31yrs. Then a couple more months to sell, donate or give away what was left.

I am far from a minimalist, I enjoy going to antique stores, and try to keep to littles, but lately I have failed. I've donated a lot of things, passed some on to DD2. If we were to move again, there are things I would donate then. Not much of a market for resale here, but I could find dealers interested. I had one come to the house before we moved last time, and she was more than fair.

I’ve had to clean/pack my grandmothers house twice for a move and once after she passed. She was a hoarder. And move my own mother several times. She is close to being a hoarder . It got easier, but maybe because of how I approach life.

I don’t have kids, so the process can go to a third party. My designer collection goes back to the daughter of the family who gave me a number of items. It’s very specifically called out by the designer’s name. She can choose to keep, take and sell, or leave it to the estate team. Nothing else in our collection of stuff is called out.

I have found that one person’s assessment of another persons value - of things in particular - is often vastly different.

I love my stuff, but it’s just stuff to me. Let it become money for someone else.

Every time we tweak something in the house, or replace a placeholder with something better, DBF and I joke that we're curating our own estate sale. Estate sales are a hobby of ours, and like @Fun2BHere, we enjoy creating back stories for the former residents.

Moving and having a family member come over to help pack and move boxes really opened my eyes to the embarassment of too much stuff. My husband and I aren't really one for a lot of decorative items or shopping for the sake of shopping. But we both tend to hold onto things in the thought that we can still use them. The amount of my clothing, kitchen and bar glassware, and linens such as towels and old blankets is just too much. Now that we're still settling in and finding place for everything, I realize I still have more donations to do.

I am dreading the day that I someday will have to clean out my parents house. While they're not hoarders, they do have a ton of stuff. It's a big house with a lot of storage space and I just can't imagine how much time it would take my brother and I to figure out what to do with any of it.

@bpath I grew up in New Orleans. She was likely referring to a Mardi Gras ball. Everyone who is invited as a participant , not just to view the festivities, gets a ” favor” . I am sure that is where she got it.

There are collectors who would be VERY interested in this and could tell you the year, ball, Carnival Krewe. c

Thanks, Trail! That explains why the little purse is kind of green and purple! Now I’ll have to see where I stashed it!

@Sueb20 ha! i could have written both of your posts!! I keep threatening to photograph each piece of art and make a book with the art, info on the artist and hiow we came upon it. Unfortunately, life gets in the way. I don’t care what our daughter keeps, I just want her informed on value and provenance.

Also, I keep encouraging our daughter to ask questions. We have 2 huge whale vertabrae in our beach house and don’t know the history. Anyone who might have known has passed. We suspect they came ftom Nova Scotia where DH’s family hails from. We plan to develop our own story on these!

@bpath im very serious that is a treasure. there are die hard Krewe families that will be extremely interested. So many lost so much in Katrina. please make some contacts. 🙏

That video was a motivator for me as I'm in the process of decluttering again but easily run out of speed given how difficult it at times can be for me. Thank you!

Well I scrolled through a couple hundred items on the auction in the link, and honestly most of it is not stuff I would have brought into the house to begin with, mostly dull, repetitive stuff.

Honestly I have been through one emptying of a household of 45 years with a subset of items that went back to the 19th century, and honestly I don't really get the notion that you have to get rid of everything to same someone else the bother. My parents did a lot for me, I can certainly put in some effort to do something for them for a change, like clean out their house. And if they and my grandparents had just gotten rid of everything ahead of time I wouldn't have most of the nice stuff that I do have.

I honestly don't care if I leave a household full of things for someone to dispose of: I'll either be non-compos mentis or cremated by that point. And honestly whoever has to do it is not going to get a house full of crap from Rooms to Go, Tuesday Morning, or Amazon, they are going to get a lot of good useful stuff, if they want it.

I do my best to cull my “stuff” as I go, but for the most part, I have an emotional attachment to most of the objects in my home. That said, not everything is precious. I intend to do something - video, power point, etc. to help my DD & family decide what might be worth keeping,selling, giving away or whatever based on value - sentimental or otherwise.

Have I done that - no. But, this is a good reminder to do the easy stuff and get rid of the things (photos, clothes, objects) that do not spark joy or have a little bit of a story.

The resale value of most art that we buy is not anywhere near what we paid for it. I have art that I really love, but showing my heirs receipts would probably cause them crushed hopes and dreams. I think all I will tell them is that if nobody likes the art enough to keep it, at least check out the value before they toss it.

I realize the idea of rummagers is motivation for many but really, why? You will never know. You do not have to see the postings let alone the rummagers! Why should I live in an empty, boring cave to 'save' my privacy? Pass. Other's talk about saving their kids the work. Again I just don't see that as motivating. I helped my in laws downsize, we sorted and hauled and sold more stuff than any one couple should have accumulated. They had an entire old creamery (FILs veterinary office) to store things... 10 years later they die and we began again. The mountain of card board boxes she thought ought to be saved took DH and I HOURS to break down for recycling. It was all so cathartic. I was happy to sort through and share memories that items invoked. It was very healing and a great way to say good bye and let go. I am just glad no one involved felt the pull to honor their memory by saving this or that because "it meant so much to THEM"!! My offspring tell me all the time "You know this is all going to the thrift shop" and I say HAVE AT IT--when I am gone. Last heard if you call the local auction house the estate ends up with on average, most of the time $2,000. Your stuff is worth $2,000 in the end--I don't care who you are.

Sue, I think your label idea is excellent. When we cleared out my inlaw's house we had no idea which things were sentimental and which things were a random gift that they just didn't get around to giving away.

I mentioned labeling things to my Mom and she immediately started pointing at stuff and talking. Mom! I am not going to remember that!

Clutter makes me anxious so I'm not worried about my things being a burden. On the other hand, DH's garage! If anything happens to him I have no idea what's valuable and what's junk. I think my BIL or one of two of the husbands from our friend group could help me figure it out. Hopefully.

I know what you mean, arcy. Just because it meant a lot to one person, it doesn’t necessarily carry the same import to another. And my life would be so much easier if I didn’t have so much darn stuff, so much of it from my family. Easier to keep the house clean, to move from one home to another, just…easier. And somehow, having a single item from someone and saying ”this belonged to my great-grandmother” carries more than ”see all this? This was all hers.” (and underneath that is the unspoken ”and what the heck am I going to do with it?”)

TBH I actually bought a label maker at least a year ago and it is still in the box. LOL let’s hope I don’t die too soon.

I get to the point of frustration and exhaustion and out it goes. I've let go of things I probably shouldn't have, but to be honest, I can't remember what they were LOL.

Bought a label maker makes me laugh, if that is its purpose. Buying one more thing. At least it will sell quickly at the estate sale. There’s nothing wrong with a strip of paper, some tape, and a sharpie. Bonus, it uses those things up eventually. And then the estate sale company can use the leftovers. Honestly, one of the special things about the little beaded purse I mentioned, is that the slip of yellowed paper is written in my grandmother’s own hand. Although I wouldn’t mind a written, or even typed, story of the ball along with it!

Trail, how do i find such aficianodos?

We have been going through the many, many — did I say many? multiply that — slides my grandfather took. At least they are well categorized, such as ”bears at Yellowstone 1942”. Yep, at least a dozen slides of bears at Yellowstone. And there's a car in the background of one, looks like an early-40s vehicle. And the party where I recognize some people by name and relationship, some "hmm, I remember the face", and some "who IS that?" Pretty much anyone who could identifity them is, well, with them now. I know it will be freeing when we toss them, but it is bittersweet to look at them, and to sort them into the "scan then toss" and "just toss" stacks.

Label maker is being returned, unused. Its bigger than I imagined and I dont have a place to store it. However I did order a small one that uses bluetooth. Will fit in the junk drawer.

I cant write small enough for a label.

Tossing out old family photos and home movies was emotionally exhausting. I threw outs hundreds of photos. I did have the home movies digitized but no one looks at them anyway.

There’s a local company here that does a similar online listing of estate auctions. I don’t look as much as I used to, but we’ve gotten some great stuff from those. Nice MCM stuff like a starburst clock and then a few nice planters for the yard. It’s also crazy that sometimes there’s a bidding war for certain items then others go for next to nothing.

There’s someone I follow in Columbia SC where she seems to find good stuff at estate sales.

I'm kind of the opposite mind to the OP because I see it as not really mattering much in the grand scheme of things. We're all crawling around on this tiny speck of dust in a vast universe, and come and go with time. In the end, nothing much is leaving our planet, and we're basically just rearranging the furnishings on this pale blue dot.

IMO, make your home as comfortable as you wish, and spare the judgement or worry. IOW, don't sweat the small stuff, and it's pretty much all small stuff.

Of course, health hazards are an exception.

Just jumping back in to say - and again, this is my perspective only - that personally I feel all this assigning of things to people after you pass adds extra burdeon on the people we leave behind. Telling someone that something is for them because it has meaning to us implies that they need to keep the thing. Often the thing is something they would never get for themselves regardless of value. So now they have to deal with the thing and deal with emotion tied to a thing when it's just stuff.

On the other hand, if there are multiple people that want the things, then I would get them together and label those specific items with the intent to avoid any fights after we're gone. I also believe that people who are inclined to fight about stuff, will fight no matter what we do to try and avoid it. Have seen that in my own life.

Personally, I want permission to decide for myself what is valuable and what I want to keep. Or permission to offload the entire responsibility on a third party without any sense of guilt. And could there be something of value that get's lost or underpriced? Sure! But I believe there's a 99% chance that the value of that thing is not going to be life-changing.

When we re-did our will a few years ago, we asked our adult kids to specify any particular items we owned they would like to have passed on to them. We explained we wanted no arguments over ’stuff’ and they could divide up or sell anything else that they specifically didn’t want (this is also stated innthe will). I already intended to pass aling my good jewelry to my DD and a couple of pieces to DDil’s and one ring my DGD requested. Surprisingly all came back with only one thing each they really wanted. Those were family heirlooms so we were happy to specify those in our will.

I also watch a few estate sales online ever since a dear friend passed away 3 years ago. Her daughter liquidated most of her estate after choosing items she and her adult daughter wanted. She let some of her closest friends ’shop’ and I bought a couple of lamps and a couple of wooden spoons (she probably had 30). I had to pick them up on the day the sale started so i walked through her house one more time. I could not go into the bedroom where her clothing and other personal items were staged. Broke my heart.

Spanish, I agree with you. But i think some people do this because they are trying to be fair if several people are involved. My grandmother did it this way. I was sort of bummed because I spent a lot of time at her house and wished for a few things. I probably should have spoke up but I don’t do things that way.

Even labeling takes effort, time.

I plan to rehome many things, but weeks of rain, sog, gray skies, dim light and unstable weather make progress slow.

carolb- good fall back perspective.

My plan is to move to a lovely retirement community near me one day. Im trying to pare down my belongings for that eventual move. All my boxes of things to take along will be labeled or they will say Toss on the boxes of things I enjoy now but wont mean a thing to anyone else.

I know what would have been helpful to me when cleaning out my mother’s house.

I would guess that most people don't care how it all ends up as they'll be dead and it won't matter. Since we don't have kids it got to the point where we did care how much work it would be for our friends (no relatives were ID'd as executor of our estate) to dispose of all of our stuff at three homes in two different states. Not to mention those people were now 20 years older than when we last updated our will and one of them now lives in yet a third distant state. Fortunately we found a great attorney who helped us set up trusts and will serve as the trustee to dispose of everything and distribute whatever funds remain to the charities we ID'd in the pour over will. We are much more comfortable with this plan - paying someone to do all the work - rather than expecting some aging friend to do it.

I volunteered at the 49th annual, local, garage-sale-type fundraiser this week. Last year this event raised $315,000, which is donated to support cancer services.

Multiple people went through their homes & closets and donated the equivalent of 3 basketball courts of stuff. The stuff was carefully reviewed and organized for sale. Then other people came and bought that stuff to put in their homes & closets.♾️

They display the items by dept (dresses, blouses, men’s, kids, housewares, etc), including a vintage dept and a “boutique” with designer and better name brands.

The whole event fascinates me because it is so well run, brings in so much money, and is fun to work. On day one, I think “oh, I like this or that, maybe I’ll buy it.” A few days later, after rehanging and reorganizing hundred of things, sometimes the SAME item over and over, I think “I am never shopping again.”