My worst nightmare is neighbors with barking dogs or dogs that run loose. After more than 40 years af different neighbors having barking dogs, it’s finally barking dog free. Dogs all grew old and died and their owners didn’t replace them and one left that’s too old to bark all the time. Hopefully he won’t be replaced with a barker. We don’t have kids in the neighborhood and I never minded them much, except when the teens were caught shooting at songbirds with a bb gun. And the family that moved in with barking dogs and 3 boys who rode quads day in and out. They didn’t last long here.

I lived in a row house for 8 years with three little girls on the other side of the wall. Their frequent laughter and giggling fits were contageous. They made me smile and laugh. I don’t have kids and am mot a kid person but these were wonderful parents and their delightful kids improved the quality of my life so much. One had a genetic disorder and at a certain age had painful screaming fits at 3 am. Never once did I begrude them. I just wished I could take her pain away and help the parents so they could get some sleep too.

I get that change is hard. I always pray for non-smokers. I hope you get some good neighbors!

I get you. When we bought this house, the people next door ran a day care. They moved only to be replaced by a real low-rent crowd with a barking dog and a snarky teen and tons of cars parked everywhere. This house is the only one that matters, as I live on a corner and have streets on two sides and an alley in the back. The day they left, I celebrated and then a young couple my kids knew moved in and were great neighbors. Three boys, but no barking dogs. The odd thing is, they moved and the house has been vacant for at least four years, so I really have NO neighbors, even though I live in a town.

I hear you. I feel for you. I hope your next neighbors are a pleasant surprise.

When we bought our first house, we were blessed with neighbors on each side who soon became our surrogate families. One couple had no children. The other couple did, but they lived in California. So we filled their need too. We did things together, visited back-and-forth, enjoyed each others company. We joked that our three backyards were like the Kennedy Compound. Parents without the pressure! They were more excited than our own families when our children were born. When they sold and moved to smaller retirement places, we were devastated. Actually, we moved ourslves, mostly because of it. The new people were perfectly fine, but it just wasn't the same.

Porkchop, yes , I hear you. My NY home is in a young town. Most of my social circle have moved on after high school graduation!

i’ve gotten used to hearing children play loudly.

We do escape to Florida. Older folks are in the majority.

Many years back we had an upstate NY second home. Great for many years until one side sold to a famiy that always had a second family in tow. Way too much commotion.

It makes my blood boil when one neighbor’s life style trumps another.

No matter where you live, there's a chance you will have troublesome neighbors. I hope your new neighbors are good ones!

I get it. We moved to escape all the noise in the subdivision we used to live in. I could not take all the screaming anymore.

We moved out to the sticks. The only neighbor we can see is a very nice lady who is in her mid eighties and keeps to herself. I dread who will move in when she no longer lives there.

IPorkchop, I hope your next neighbors are great ones.

I have been so very fortunate to have great neighbors. I have lived here 27 years and the neighbors on one side were here when I got here. The other side it's been 12 years and they are awesome people. The guy on that side cleaned my gutters for me yesterday. Because it was supposed to rain, so he wanted to get it done. The woman (they are not married) brought me a donut earlier in the week. The ones that have been here the whole time included me in their Halloween celebrations and shared their chili with me. I let their dog out when they were away for a night. And I keep their son's car in my driveway so it is off the street. We are super close and I love them. Many people on my street are my friends. It really makes life great to have such wonderful neighbors. I don't think we have a bad one in the bunch!! So fortunate.

For those of you with barking dogs next door - consider purchasing an anti-barking ultrasonic device that emits a high pitched sound. People cannot hear it but dogs can. Some dogs hate the sound and respond to it immediately. Others it doesn't work on.

I have cured two of my own dogs from barking using it. Just had to push the button once and it cured them. I take seriously not being the bad neighbor with a barking dog.

They make them to look like bird feeders so you can hang them outside next to a neighbor's fence. It is supposed to automatically go off when it detects a bark. I don't love those because I'm concerned it could go off from hearing other sounds and the poor dog would get punished accidentally. Instead, I have a hand held one and I pushed it when my dog barked or when the neighbor's dog barked.

I get both sides. I love dogs and would welcome wandering dogs as long as they’re friendly or at least not aggressive. I’d have a really hard time with constantly barking dogs directly next door. And I love hearing young kids playing. I’ve got young kids across from me at my house who are ouside here and there but what I love at my new house is neighbors with three young ones that legit might live outdoors. I might feel differently about them all when they get older, but for now their voices bring joy. None of them are screamers.

Good luck with the new neighbors, porkchop!

Playing children are delightful. My NY house is within sight of municipal ball fields. I love hearing kids playing soccer, the cheers and whatnot.

There are some kids who just scream. Constantly. That is annoying as all get out.

I lived in an awesome 900 sf 1920s era apartment in an 8 unit building for 8 years. I had a piano, but only played before 9 PM and never long, and only once or twice a week. I was of course concerned about disturbing my neighbors. One day my upstairs neighbor stopped me in the hall and asked me if I was the one playing. My heart sank and I said yes. I was expecting the worst. He continued by saying "I absolutely love listening to you play. I pour myself a glass of wine and sit in my living room and enjoy it whenever I hear it." Nearly made my cry, I was so relieved.

Neighbor across the hall was a chef, stopped me one day and asked if I would play for a dinner party he was planning. I've only ever played for myself and didn't really enjoy playing when I know others are listening, so I politely declined, but still, my two adjacent neighbors were happy to hear it. Neighbors across the street from me, who lived in million dollar homes, asked if I was the one playing (during the day with windows open) and told me they loved it, too.

FF to the last few months I lived there. Upstairs neighbor moved out, new neighbor moved in, and every time I would start playing she would put on shoes and stomp as loud as she could on the floor. Two months of that and I decided to move, after 8 years.

Two lessons here, I think.

One, you can choose how you feel about what your neighbors are doing, and maybe sometimes things aren't as bad as you think they are.

And two, neighbors can absolutely impact your enjoyment of your own home. I was devastated to leave that apartment, but my upstairs neighbor wouldn't let me make a sound (wasn't just piano, it was playing any music or having people over ... Anything really).

Giving a little grace is maybe worthwhile when we all have to live together.

@anj_p Thank you for sharing your lovely story and gracious perspective on this topic. I’m sad for you that you felt you had to move.

I feel your anxiety with new neighbors. My neighborhood is middle class, and we have lovely neighbors. I clarify the class of my neighborhood, because of what I am about to tell you. A neighbor is the worst one on the block. (10 years) .Junky yard, no lawn mowing, all weeds. He ran his nice wife off, ( you just can't beat a wife enough anymore) He has "defund the police" stickers all over his car. The police say he does not take his meds.

And of course I live right next door.(43 years) We have no HOA. I put up a privacy fence years ago. My wonderful neighbor across the street(45 years) has her husband in nursing home, and really she should be there too. My mom, across the street died at 100, (40 years).The neighborhood is ageing. I silently celebrated when my other neighbor (30 years) added 2 more fruit trees to yard. (she wont be moving). Even if you don't socialize a lot, we do all get comfortable with our lovely neighbors.

When a new neighbor moves in, extend yourself with a plate of brownies and a positive comment about the kids or dog when they move in, even if it is a lie. Being kind to a newcomer paves the way for uncomfortable conversations about noise or whatever else. And increases the chance of your message being well received.

A woman moved in across the hall from me two months ago. She told me in passing she was having a terrible time with internet set up. I still slipped a note under her door with my network and password name, said to use mine until hers was installed.

Turns out that holy crap, she is a smoker. My worst nightmare. I am incredibly sensitive. I don't smell it in my unit, it is horrible in the hallway.

There is a large gap under her front door. I let her know the super said he'd install a sweep if she buys it. It was so much easier for me to ask her to put a sweep in since it was a friendly conversation and I had already been nice to her. She was shocked that anyone could smell her smoke. She was trying to be polite by only smoking in the back bedroom.

The conversation was last week. I'm still waiting for a sweep to materialize. But she said she would gladly talk to the super about it the next time she saw hime. Baby steps.

Ladypat, my across the street neighbor sounds like your next door neighbor. Its a lovely neighborhood except for these. At long last, the wife’s ex-husband and her son stepped in and cleared the place out. It was unbelievable. They filled four dumpsters with junk from inside. Definitely a hoarding situation. Its finally reasonably presentable over there.

Barking dogs are bad but basketball hoops are worse. My current neighbor had one and the constant thumping was driving me mad. It was practically on our shared property line. I finally had to say something to her but it did not slow down. Thank goodness it blew over and smashed in a wind storm and was never replaced.

I don't mind some noise, of course not -- that's to be expected. And well-behaved kids aren't a problem. It's the screaming kids, loud music, loud parties, constant noise of ATVs/dirt bikes, running the lawn tractor or snow blower at 7 am, etc that has me concerned. Or just the general PITA-ness of some people.

But I'm trying to stay positive about things and not fret. You never know I could get perfectly lovely new neighbors who I may have something in common with. Maybe I could inspire a nice new garden over there or something :0) Let's face it, I was the new person once and the neighbors probably had the same anxieties about me. So yes, kindness goes a long way, if I see them outside I'll introduce myself and go from there. And maybe they'll finally paint that butt-ugly house LOL!

Sometimes the snowblower at 7 am (or earlier) is required so you can get out of your garage and get to work. Not sure why but it always seems to snow at night here!

I have another story - growing up our across the street neighbors were a bit trashy - loud parties, motorcycle gangs, etc. We lived on larger lots (< 1 acre) but we were in the city. One day our next door neighbor's little 15 pound terrier got loose - next thing you know it's coming back across the street dragging its hind legs because the neighbors shot it in the spine. They denied it, of course, but the dog had to be euthanized.

Another time they shot a black bear, hitched it to their 4-wheeler, and dragged it around their yard.

Good people.

"Sometimes the snowblower at 7 am (or earlier) is required so you can get out of your garage and get to work."

Yea, good point. At my first house, the old man across the street (retired) used to blow the snow at 4 am. 4 am!! Now that's inconsiderate. But running the lawn equipment at 7 am is not reasonable -- the lawn doesn't have to be mowed that early in the morning, and municipalities usually have noise ordinances that dictate certain times things like that can be done.

Oh no, more bad news. They finally got the full real estate listing up, and split is available. Which will completely destroy things for me, there would be another house built out back (our lots are long and narrow) with a flagpole driving leading back there. #*!^!%#!

I'm tempted to call the real estate agent and say if they get an offer with split I'll buy the land. Except this particular real estate agent is well known in the area, he does this sort of thing and then builds big $$$ pricey homes on the land. Is it worth a call to the agent to see what's up?

Probably not if your purpose is to express your dismay at potential new building. If you want control over future change & are prepared to buy the property then yes. Zoning & convenants determine what can be built on land - both developed & undeveloped.

^^ The thing is, this particular agent does this all the time in my community. IDK how he does it, if he puts the birdie in buyer's ears but he manages to get people to list and then next thing you know new people move in and the land is split. And then he puts up giant McFarmhouses on those splits (he's also affiliated with a builder -- they also buy up available vacant land and put up the McFarmhouses). It's his M.O., it's happened more times than I care to recount in my community with this particular agent. If it was some other random agent I wouldn't be so upset. Because I doubt if the split is sold to his builder affiliation that I'm going to be able to secure the land.

So yea -- I think MY M.O. is soon going to switch to making minor, inexpensive updates/repairs in prep for a potential move.

I'm screwed....unless the township needs me or the guy on the other side of him to sign off on easement for driveway if it comes to that. We might be able to block it that way if all this plays out the way I expect it will.

Man, I really hope I'm just over-reacting and none of this goes down....

You can't choose neighbors. If you don't like whatever inconveniences or annoyances they cause that are within their rights to do, you can accept it or move.

I doubt my DM was the only realtor to calm a buyer's concerns about neighbors by asking what kind of neighbors they'd had at their prior home. Their chances of happiness were higher if they'd liked them or at least had no big concerns about them. .

You take a chance if you buy where there are no regulations about what is permitted or if regulations are not enforced evenly.

My daughter lives in a 1930 Tudor on a corner in a lovely town near me. When they bought this over 30 years ago, the Tudor beside them was owned by an elderly man who died a few years later. The relatives sold the house to a nice young couple but kept the lot which was part of the house for 100 years to be sold separately. Of course, a contractor scooped it up because the town is very desirable real estate. The young couple didn't have the money to purchase the land, so my daughter and husband who were, went to the contractor and offered to buy the land he just bought for slightly more money. Surprisingly, he agreed, which he didn't have to do. This house would have been crammed into the space, and the young couple paid my daughter back over the years. They all still live there, and the space between their yards is large and lovely, and the two families have been good friends all these years. >>Hope this will all work out for you.

Dedtired- do you live in my neighborhood???This guy is a horder too.!

Don't project the worst. Maybe it'll be okay. And if not, fences make good neighbors.

"And if not, fences make good neighbors."

But they don't block out the construction noise, dust, pollution, and general disruption.

But yes, my mind is stuck on the worst today...

Lily -- that is a lovely story and worked out well for everyone involved, I'm sure that young couple was so appreciative!

@porkchop_z5b_MI if you would consider buying the split land, then maybe you could afford to buy the whole shebang? If so, you could buy the house and add a covenant to the property that it can never be split. Then become a landlord and pick your neighbors, or sell it knowing there won't be a new house build next to you.

^^ No I cannot afford the whole thing. Even if I could, I'd just move -- it'd be cheaper. If it were split, the land itself would not be cost-prohibitive and would add directly to my existing acreage.

"split is available"........... there would be another house built out back (our lots are long and narrow) with a flagpole driving leading back there"

A lot of clarification is needed here. Is there an additional lot connected the the house for sale that is already platted on the map with it's own PID number? If so there would be two PID #'s on the listings. If this is the case you are SOL.

If not, subdividing a lot isn't an easy process and requires review by the planning and development board recommending approval to the city council with a public hearing. Any new lots created would need to adhere to present codes for setbacks and frontage requirements and not the code used when the development was built way back when.

A flagpole drive? Is there an easement for a driveway already recorded on your deed? Things don't add up.

Pushing a driveway through a property to develop the back of a existing long lot in any city I know of is impossible these days. A minimum road frontage is required, and unless the lot in question has already been platted with an easement their is NO way a split could happen. The easiest way to check is look at the cities property plat map to see if a legal lot does exist.

Your post reassures me a little bit, Kevin. But still unknowns.

Is there an additional lot connected the the house for sale that is already platted on the map with it's own PID number? If so there would be two PID #'s on the listings. If this is the case you are SOL.

Not that I've seen...yet.

A flagpole drive? Is there an easement for a driveway already recorded on your deed? Things don't add up.

Not sure. I'd have to dig through my paperwork to see if I have it; if not, I can go down to city hall and find out. He had a survey done last fall; I may be able to get a copy of that, too, to see what's up. I've seen many long, skinny driveways to properties behind properties around here, that's what I'm calling a "flagpole driveway" because I don't know what else to call it. The properties I've seen that sort of thing on are larger parcels. But if there's no ordinance against it, then it could be done. Unless they need part of my property to do so -- then I'd tell him to go pound sand (or sell me the land). So yes a survey would be useful here.

If I see my neighbor outside I ask him a few questions and try to find out more. We're not buddy-buddy but are on friendly terms.

In my area these are called flag lots.

One day our next door neighbor's little 15 pound terrier got loose - next thing you know it's coming back across the street dragging its hind legs because the neighbors shot it in the spine. They denied it, of course, but the dog had to be euthanized.

@anj_p -

The part of your comment that I copied and pasted above, made my eyes tear. UNBELIEVABLE.

porkchop -- Don't be shy. Go to your city hall and ask about the legal options for the property in question. Can it be subdivided? Under what conditions? What's the maximum FAR (floor area ratio) for a house on that potential flag lot? Who has to agree to the creation of a driveway back to a flag lot? What are your options to block subdivision or a monster house?

Are any of your neighbors similarly threatened by these changes in the character of your town? There's strength in numbers, but don't be surprised if sellers only want to get the most money for their property, then move away.

You can only control what you own, but some homeowners will see these subdivisions as harming the value of their homes.

Well, I talked to my neighbor. I'm happy for him -- he's moving to be closer to family, building what sounds to be quite a nice home. I asked him what he knows about the split, he didn't know much, but he said the realtor said probably no one will want to split because of the shape of the property. I don't see why my neighbor would make that up, he's outta there and all he cares about is the place sells, but I don't believe what he relayed for a hot minute -- simply because of this realtor. I did tell my neighbor I'd buy the split for the sole purpose of preventing a house being built back there, and he said he'd mention it to the realtor. I wished my neighbor well and congratulated him on the new place, we left things on friendly terms. I think it's a good move for him and something it sounds like he's wanted for a while, can't begrudge him that.

But, I do think chisue's advice to go down to city hall and ask questions is a good one -- the list of questions she posted is helpful, I'll write them down and take them with me so I don't forget what to ask.

And of course DH and I got into an argument about all this....he doesn't want to leave here unless it's in a pine box -- and even then he'd probably want the pine box buried out on the back of the property LOL!

ETA: He also gave me the name of the company who did his survey, so I might be able to get a copy of that should I need to, more information might be helpful here about easements and such (although City Hall probably has that info).

If you look at the listing on $illow, you can click the map included in the photos on most listings, then on Lot Lines and you’ll see pretty well what belongs to the neighbor.

If its subdividable , Id buy the lot in a heartbeat to maintain privacy.

Agree with dedtired. If you have the means to buy the subdivided land, that is the best way to control what happens to it.

What are property sizes are we talking about? You talk about ”acreage” so I’m assuming quite sizable. You say the properties are deep, so in picturing this I’m wondering how much a new house back there would actually affect you.

Either way ”splittable” to me means it’s one parcel which could be split and that would be a transaction with the buyer not the seller, since it doesn’t sound like the seller is making moves to do this himself.

I was blessed with the most wonderful and friendly neighborhood while raising my kids. The kind of place where when you have a baby, everyone brings over dinners. When my first husband died (kids were 14 and 16) I didn't have to cook for weeks and people took turns mowing my lawn for months - truly kind and amazing. (Also lots of surrogate 'dads' for my kids, taking them to dad's day stuff with their kids, etc.)

The only exceptions to these wonderful people? The awful couple next door. The kind of people who wouldn't wave or even smile back. They called the cops on me when racoons knocked over my garbage can, despite me picking up the mess before 7am. They swore at my 12 year old son when his basketball went on their driveway... which was empty at the time and he ran to get the ball immediately. These people were childless yet moved into a neighborhood full of families, but would turn out their lights and pretend to be gone on Halloween so trick-or-treaters would leave. I could go on and on... but ugh it makes me angry to remember them.

Of course I like a peaceful neighborhood too but I'll take kids' laughter over quiet grumps like them any day. My only regret when they finally moved was that my husband wasn't still alive to see them gone.

My parents stayed in their house for 50 years - long enough to see kids grow up and those families move out and younger families move in. Our property taxes are high, mostly because they fund the excellent public schools. My parents stated many times that they didn't mind funding schools that they no longer use because families with kids keep a neighborhood thriving. Take away the young families and some neighborhoods lose their vitality.

And no, porkchop, I'm NOT calling you a grump! My point is that in my experience, the young families help make a neighborhood awesome.

"What are property sizes are we talking about? You talk about ”acreage” so I’m assuming quite sizable. You say the properties are deep, so in picturing this I’m wondering how much a new house back there would actually affect you."

He's got about 3-1/2 acres, give or take, deeper than it is wide. Yes, a house in the back would affect me, it would be within view, and every time we go out back to the property we'd be looking at the house -- we'd lose our privacy out back as well as from the house. To some people this matters not one bit, but it does to me.

"Either way ”splittable” to me means it’s one parcel which could be split and that would be a transaction with the buyer not the seller, since it doesn’t sound like the seller is making moves to do this himself."

Correct. So I do have some time here. I want to gather all the information I can (hence the planned trip to City Hall). I might be fretting over absolutely nothing -- just because the parcel is big enough to split doesn't mean it would get approved; what is working in my favor is the shape of the parcel -- narrow and deep means may not be enough to put in the driveway.

In my lovation , flag lots are no longer allowed, so you cant build a new house on land behind an existing house. With a narrow, deep lot, this may be the case where you are.

Anyway, you need to talk to the zoning department because they will have the definitive answer, as you know.

Hoping to hear good news from your inquiries at City Hall.

Much as I hate to see a beautiful home diminished when people sell off land -- where you have a stately queen of a house left sitting on a milking stool -- you can get used to change.

You might be able to prevent the driveway from abutting your side the neighboring property.

It’s a roll of the dice. Good neighbors, bad ones. Good luck or bad. Stable or changing, nothing to do but accept what’s there or move. Hope it works out

I suppose everyone has different tolerances. We moved from a very busy, touristy beach neighborhood with lots of activity to a home a few miles away in a very quiet neighborhood with much larger lots & very little activity . I miss my former neighborhood, it was much friendlier ( guess I’m more of a ”people” person ) , I miss giving the dogs treats as they were walking by with their owners, children playing, families carrying all their beach toys in their wagons, etc. I liked the activity & interaction. Different strokes….

Neighbors are a crap shoot. I hope you have good news about the split "not' happening...and good people buy the house.

Neighbors come & go...hopefully the bad ones are replaced by good ones. That's MY hope.

anj_p I love hearing my neighbor playing piano when I walk my dog past her house. It's so nice to hear live music.

I live in a townhouse and have close neighbors but everyone is friendly & respectful and no one is noisy or trashy and I know I'm lucky for that.

" a very busy, touristy beach neighborhood with lots of activity "

A very good friend of mine lives in such an area. He's there very deliberately, having chosen to move back to the neighborhood he grew up in.

Houses are very close together and a block from the sand, though many have been rebuilt into multistory modern homes with more interior space. His "street" is a pedestrian walkway. Car access to homes is in the back from an alley. Everyone has their porch chairs or patio seating groupings in front on the walkway side, to chat with passersby.

Some of his neighbors are people he grew up with. It's a little too "Ma and Pa Kettle" for my taste. But it's a quaint relic of what was a small town that's now part of a large metro area.