I don't know which one to ask, Ben? If I ask April, I may not get an answer. If I ask Ashley, the answer may be abbreviated, kind of like the chopped back roots on our Elena's recent bare root rose bush shipment from this new rose purveyor team.

Moses.

You guys are hilarious

If April & Ashley ever offer it, I’ll be sure to ask whether it comes with roots attached or just the ‘mystery minimalist edition’ like my last shipment.

Elena,

Looking at your pitiful, wonky A&A rose, which really should have been a candidate for the dumpster, it does have an artistic aspect to its strangely contorted, odd-angle projecting roots.

Cleaned up and dried out, and placed into a lamp base mold large enough to accommodate it, then filled with clear epoxy resin, you will have a practical, useful future for the miserable bare root, as an artfully constructed lamp base.

Moses.

Moses, you should try a Flying Dragon bonsai.

Moses,

Honestly, after reading this, I’m starting to think April & Ashley should hire you for product innovation. At least your idea finally gives their “bare roots” a purpose besides emotional damage. And truly — with those acrobatic, Cirque-du-Soleil roots shooting in every direction, it really would make a fabulous avant-garde lamp.

I also see how badly you want to join the A&A club — don’t worry, they’ll accept anyone as long as the roots are tragic enough.

And not the funny part: they removed my picture of this rose and the question I asked the owner. Go figure, folks!

Where was the picture, Elena?

@Vaporvac Z6-OhioRiverValley, in topic
April & Ashley are coming!

That is horrible Elena!

Elena,

I'm still not convinced that April and Ashley are two different people. With AI creeping into all aspects of life, especially in new entrepenurial ventures, as A&A is, it would take a face to face encounter with them both at once, to change my mind. What evidence do I have, you may ask? Well, for one, although I am no handwriting expert, I can plainly see that their logo signature...April & Ashley....is obviously written by the same person. That's proof enough for me. 😁

Moses.

Diane,

I've had three Flying Dragons, Poncirus trifoliata, growing in my garden (not in the rose bed), for years. They are winter hardy here in zone 6b, to their tips. One grows free form, a rounded small tree, and the other two are in ground bonsai trained from their youth. These two are about 5' tall with trunks 4-4.5" or so in diameter. My version is the 'contorta,' where even the leaves grow twisted. The 3" long, semi-circularly shaped thorns are strong as iron and needle sharp. They mercilessly puncture, then tear the unsuspecting. One event is enough to remember for the rest of your life.

The ping pong ball sized fruit is not abundant but plentiful enough to be very ornamental until fruit drop come late October. They are packed full of seeds and dry pith....of little edible value except for zests, marmalade, and really little else other than to enjoy their oddity.

Moses.

Moses,

You know, the more I observe this “dynamic duo,” the more I’m convinced April & Ashley are like Schrödinger’s gardeners — they both exist and don’t exist at the same time, depending on whether you open Facebook or your tracking number.

Your handwriting evidence is solid. Honestly, their signature looks exactly like one person wrote “April,” took a sip of coffee, changed the wig, and then wrote “Ashley.” Very scientific. Very conclusive.

And with the way AI is everywhere now, I fully expect that if we ever do meet “both” of them in person, one will glitch, freeze, or answer in auto-replies about 90-day warranties.

Until I see two actual human beings standing next to each other, holding roses that haven’t been sent to Florida by mistake and haven’t had their roots chopped by a lawnmower… I remain on your side of the investigation. 😁🌹

— Elena, in love with ChatGPT

Elena, I can still see the two pics you posted three days ago of your replacement rose on the "April & Ashley are Coming" thread here. Perhaps you are referring to something you posted to the A&A site that got deleted?

Susan, I meant the AA Facebook page — sorry for the confusion. I asked E’Ana whether that rose with the chopped roots is considered acceptable quality, and we somehow drifted into a grading-system discussion… and then my actual question was never answered.

After that, I addressed April & Ashley directly, saying this plant doesn’t match what Taylor described as “best quality,” and that yes, it might pass for a big-box store rose, but certainly not for a premium one. That comment was deleted.

At this point, I honestly feel that if I say anything even slightly critical again, they’ll just remove me from the group. It’s unbelievable.

P.S. Sorry, Moses — AA is everywhere now.

Moses, that's so interesting. I had no idea you grow three. Did you do the Bonsai work on the two contorta plants? I wish I could see photos. I knew about the awful thorns and the inedible fruit. I have only seen one of these striking plants in person, growing in front of a small secluded business in downtown Boise, and I was in love with them. Maybe I should grow one. Any chance you could show us a photo of yours? Thanks for the information. As for the Golden Dragon rose, I checked the few photos on HMF and found it was a soft light yellow. Very pretty, but hardly golden. I recommend Bernstein-Rose if you want golden and even amber rose blooms (on occasion). Diane

Diane,

If Bernstein-Rose has the black spot resistance of an ADR winner I am keen to look deeper into its other assets, and then see who sells it. Can you give further word on its first requirement, black spot resistance....?

Moses.

Moses, I can't give you black spot information on Bernstein-Rose because we don't have it here in this dry area. It's a Tantau rose, bred by Hans Evers. I know Heirloom sells it, and it would be own root from them. I've grown three since about 2008, but they are grafted, probably multiflora because they came from Hortico in Canada. They are very healthy and stay small in my garden, which is kind of unusual. Diane