J Bank, below is a post that I wrote 6 months ago when I refinished my soapstone:
I have been dealing with very shiny soapstone too. After reading through some old threads I ordered a Diamond hand polishing pad (grit 120) from amazon and have been hand sanding my counters.
Original finish, extremely smooth and shiny. Only mineral oil had been used on them:
After sanding:
After applying enhancing sealant (I know that this is controversial but I did some tests and decided that it didn't hurt to try it for a while since I know that I can sand it off if I do not like it. The mineral oil and waxes that I tried took too many applications and care for my preference and leaving it light was a mess, grease marks were a beast. The sealant did not make them shiny.)
The hand sanding did work my arm a bit but it really was not too difficult, even with this soapstone being one of the harder varieties. I would suggest using a spray bottle of water to wet the area before you sand as it keeps the dust down. Diamond sanding pads are able to sand wet. I also tried an orbital sander but only bought silicon carbide wet/dry sanding pads and they don't work great, they really need to be diamond.
Q