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Webado Webada

ROFL - yes I think most of us are married to the same husband ;) Or at least clones of the same ;)

We are empty-nesters living in a very large house. We have rooms galore, only the darn kitchen is too tight.

We are both retired but work from home. I build and manage websites, he manages our portfolio of investments. Both are fairly sustained daily activities.

I have my own office to contain most of MY clutter. Yes, planning to re-de-clutter it after tax season. Until then don't anybody bug me!

Hubby doesn't want an office. He likes to be strategically located near the kitchen, bathroom and the TV.

He's turned the den into his personal office, but the trouble is all his papers and junk are piled up on the large coffee table. His outdoor coat, gloves, scarf are on the sofa. If I take them to hang in the entry hall, he starts asking me where everything is.

He sits on the sofa most of the time, with his laptop in front of him on a laptop table, and the TV tuned to some business station. He eats and drinks there most of time too so I have to constantly clean his laptop, the laptop table, mouse, mousepad and everything else around with disinfectant wipes.

I've offered to furnish that den with a desk and a cabinet for his papers (plenty of spare furniture in the basement). Nope. He likes it just as it is. But since the den has no door, it's very visible as soon as you walk into the house. Not a pretty sight when we have visitors.

He also drops everything he brings in on the first bit of counter by the kitchen door, mail, groceries, tools ....

As we are both forgetful, we have no end of arguments about where such and such thing is and who took it and who put it where. Or didn't put it where it should be (because nobody knows where it should be put anyway).


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@Webado Webada: Didn't you write somewhere that your hubby does the cooking? If so, why is the kitchen "tight"? Do you cook to along side him?

I never touched my late hubby's computer, nor desk area no matter how gunky it got with food he ate there. He asked me once. I said something like, if you REALLY want me to clean your computer and desk, then don't complain if I lose your papers or mess them up or damage your computer. He didn't say a word after that and we got along just fine. As for my hubby leaving things everywhere - like jacket on sofa, gloves on table. I just left them there after I reminded him I wasn't going to pick up after him like a child, He's responsible for his own stuff. So if the dog pees on his coat or grabs and chews his gloves, that's his problem since he didn't put them where they belong. Guess what? It only took one chewed up glove to get him to change his ways. He also decided where he wanted to drop stuff entering the door. I just supplied the table and vessel for him to do so, and so he did. We had an agreement - if he ran out of space, he would have to clean up the first spot before dropping any more items. It worked nicely after a while. He was never a neatnik, but he tried his best. And that was all I could ask.

Since you are both "forgetful", I suggest what ever you both agree upon, put it in writing and place it on your fridge with a magnet or a bulletin board by the door or somewhere obvious and can be seen by both parties. After a while, it won't be needed because you'll both be in the habit of doing what you both agreed upon. Just a suggestion!

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Webado Webada

The kitchen is tight because the cabinetry is ill designed. The entire kitchen is long, narrowish and half is actual kitchen (appliances, cabinets and counters) and the other half is dinette. You cannot put cabinetry in the dinette, it's got wide and tall windows and a patio door on 3 sides, no wall space.

What's left of the actual kitchen is not conducive for 2 people to do much in it. If he cooks maybe I need to wash some dishes or put away pots and pans. No space to move.

That's OK by me but the lack of storage space drives nuts. The pots and pans cabinet is a corner cabinet and so is the tupperware one. Both are inadequate and you can't modernize them even if you try adding Lazy Suzzies (which don't fit anyway), much less make them into pull out drawers. The cabinets were "custom" built, meaning they were poorly conceived from the get go. The needed 4 inches somewhere and made it a "door" articulated to the other door in the corner. Can't do anything with them except shove things in there and dig in blindly (they are deep).

As for hubby leaving his stuff all over the place, it drives me batty so every so often I pick up coat/gloves/scarf and put them away in the front hall closet and papers in yet another box which I also shove into a closet. When I get the urge to declutter (not very often) I shred and throw out 90% of those papers.

For my forgetfulness I enter things into a Google calendar and mercifully it sends me reminders. This takes care of the most important things. For Hubby I set up a calendar for him too (in his own account) and added some doctor appointments for him. It sends him emails. Not much good if he doesn't check his emails. He's used to a slew of post-its all over the place and which he buries under other papers anyway. Old habits, like weeds, die hard, or not at all.

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